How to judge a man by his woodpile
An excerpt from Norwegian Wood by Lars Mytting
Stacking is an aesthetic and a practical challenge, so much so that in the late nineteenth century, in the heavily forested state of Maine, young American women considering a potential husband were advised first to consult a piece of folksy wisdom that revealed the young man’s character based on the way he stacked his wood. In all Scandinavia it is also common wisdom that you can tell a lot about a person from his woodpile. For those looking to marry, the following list may be used as a rule of thumb.
Upright and solid pile: Upright and solid man
Low pile: Cautious man, could be shy or weak
Tall pile: Big ambitions, but watch out for sagging and collapse
Unusual shape: Freethinking, open spirit, again, the construction may be weak
Flamboyant pile, widely visible: Extroverted, but possibly a bluffer
A lot of wood: A man of foresight, loyal
Not much wood: A life lived from hand to mouth
Logs from big trees: Has a big appetite for life, but can be rash and extravagant
Pedantic pile: Perfectionist; may be introverted
Collapsed pile: Weak will, poor judge of priorities
Unfinished pile, some logs lying on the ground: Unstable, lazy, prone to drunkenness
Everything in a pile on the ground: Ignorance, decadence, laziness, drunkenness, possibly all of these
Old and new wood piled together: Be suspicious: might be stolen wood added to his own
Large and small logs piled together: Frugal. Kindling sneaked in among the logs suggests a considerate man
Rough, gnarled logs, hard to chop: Persistent and strong willed, or else bowed down by his burdens
The latest Scandinavian publishing phenomenon is not a Stieg Larsson–like thriller; it’s a book about chopping, stacking, and burning wood that has sold more than 200,000 copies in Norway and Sweden and has been a fixture on the bestseller lists there for more than a year. Norwegian Wood provides useful advice on the rustic hows and whys of taking care of your heating needs, but it’s also a thoughtful attempt to understand man’s age-old predilection for stacking wood and passion for open fires. For more information, click here.
