STARBIE!!!!!!
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STARBIE!!!!!!
She's always been Barb.
Ever since she was a kid, shes been Barb. A serious child whose frown came faster than her smile, who never shook the habit of squinting even after she got fitted for the right glasses.
Sure, as a squishy faced baby she'd been Bee. And her dad was the only person in the world who called her Honey. But that was as far as it went.
And shes been fine with that, she's never been the kind of girl people look at and think of cutesy things. She's practical.
She wasn't the kind of girl you looked at and called Barbie.
Until Stevie.
Stevie who hadn't changed anything about herself except her curves and her pronouns. Who was unfortunately just as charming as she was in high school.
It's all smouldering good looks, floppy brown hair and droopy brown eyes. Leaning up against any flat surface that she can and lingering on the name likes it's a taste Stevie can't help but savor: Barbie.
Hi Barbie! Barbie, can I get you- Oh, that reminds me Barbie…
"Heya Barbie, Robs was just telling me about this book festival thing-"
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" She's smiling even as she cocks her head to the side like Barb is a puzzle she wants to solve.
And she hates how much that flusters her, a blush rising up to her cheeks. She feels like she's on fire and her face has to match that feeling, fire engine red and completely unattractive. Something she cares about, when it's Stevie looking at her.
Or maybe it's just the topic that's got her tongue-tied. How is she supposed to tell someone that they're using the wrong nickname.
"I'm not exactly a Barbie." Is what she settles on.
"No? You're the girliest girl I know." Stevie comes closer and Barb can feel the taunt of the warmth of her body against hers, the way her hands reach up to snag the hem of Barb's sweater without actually touching. "You're always in pink and your makeup's done nice."
"That's reductive," she stumbles on the comeback.
Leaning closer, they're almost nose to nose as Stevie hums, heat of her breath fogging the bottom of Barb's glasses.
"Maybe," she agrees, "doesn't mean it can't be true too."
Her hands drift lower, finding waistband of Barb's slacks. "Tell me the truth though. Is there something a little lacy under here, Barbie?"
There's no world in which Stevie doesn't feel the way her breath stutters from her mouth. Not when it lands against her mouth.
"Wouldn't you like to know."
Stevie's laugh is as hot as the rest of her, smokey and dangerous and close enough that Barb wishes she could taste it.
"I would actually. I never got to play with Barbies, I was hoping you could be my first."
i do not think that steve and nancy would have stayed together for so long if barb had not died that night in season 1:
i think she and steve's relationship would have naturally fizzled out. nancy would have realized that steve was not really her type and that she was more into the idea of the popular boy liking her than actually being with steve.
i also think that things would almost stay the same except barb survives in the upside down and gets rescued with will. so now, she is undoubtedly a member of the party and this puts her and steve in each other's orbit much more than before.
nancy and jon would still get together. i mean, it's basically inevitable. barb and steve go from strangers to frenemies to actual friends to something that lingers on the side of more. the friendship is a lot of banter and light teasing until it transforms into something deeper.
steve calls her barbie. she pretends to hate it. she calls him a litany of different nicknames, but he likes it most when she calls him steven. they study together often. he carries her books, walks her to his car. she always makes a little show of acting annoyed but she waits by her locker for him after basketball practice every day of senior year.
he graduates with decent grades because of barb. hell, he gets into state with her help. she's going to state too. she insists it is fully a coincidence. with nancy and jon so wrapped up in each other, she has the alarming realization that steve harrington might be is her best friend.
when she has nightmares, she knows she can call him even at 3 o'clock in the morning and he'll sneak over and climb through her window. letting steve hold her hand in her childhood bed doesn't seem so scary when she dreams about monsters with petal faces and rows of teeth.
she defends him to her other friends, even her old best friend robin who insists that steve is a terrible guy. she tells robin she can name a 100 ways that steve is an amazing guy.
steve defends her viciously. anyone who so much as looks at her wrong will get an earful or worse. he'd already dropped tommy and carol, but he loses his last few buddies on the team after he hears them making fun of barb after practice.
steve looks at barb and he just thinks she's beautiful, that she's perfect exactly as she is. he loves her red hair, her soft skin, pretty kissable lips. what others call big or fat, he thinks of as curvy, as soft, as lovely. her laugh, her intelligence, her fierce commitment to being true to herself. steve loves everything about her.
so when he hears the team talking shit about what he sees in her, he gets into another fight. he's got a busted lip and a black eye and a startling realization that maybe his feelings for barb aren't as platonic as he thought.
he doesn't just love her as his best friend. he's in love with her.
when robin enters during season 3, i think steve and barb would become steve barb and robin. the terrific trio. robin wants to shake them both because it's so obvious they like each other. they'd finally get together around the events of season 4.
and yeah, robin gets it to an extent. steve is a great guy even if he is a total dingus. not that she gets the appeal personally.
steve makes the first move after he gets jealous watching her interact with eddie. i think eddie's a shit and would totally flirt with barb because 1)she's a pretty girl and 2) he immediately picks up on steve's interest and jealousy. he's a little shit who likes to stir things up and watch the chaos unfold.
steve knows he has a shot when barb also gets jealous over nancy's flirty glances.
barb stays with lucas, max and erica because she thinks an adult should be with them. before parting ways, barb would make some sarcastic comment about steve making sure he doesn't get another concussion. tells him that he better come back.
and he takes the chance. kisses the hell out of her right in front of everyone. says some cheesy line like 'how could i not come back when i know you're here waiting for me barbie'
and then no one dies and they live happily ever after.
tukru's september fic recs!
i remain busy, recs remain late, what else is new?
✂️ ✂️ 21 STRANGER THINGS FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS UNDER THE CUT (oops all but one are steddie) ✂️ ✂️
if you like starb (steve/barb) and you like transfem stevie then literally what are you waiting for? world famous ao3 author bec @formosusiniquis has written us all a real treat for @sapphicstevents 2025 Sapphic Stranger Things Mini Bang!
i provided some art alongside the wonderful tukru @hawkinsleather
check out the fic on ao3!
A.S.M.R U 4 REAL🎙💋
would an item like dis--- interest some of you?? I call it a Starbie <3
What is your favorite femslash in Helluva Boss?
Martha and Mayberry
Apple and Coco
Verosika and Barbie Wire
Stella and Sallie May
Loona and Bee
Sallie and Verosika
Loona and Gigi/Esme
Barbie and Stella
Loona and Octavia
Barbie and Sallie
Loona and Sallie
Verosika and Millie
I will do one for Hazbin I just wanted to do one specifically for HB. Have a different sapphic HB ship? Drop it in the comments!
Please stop asking me for Starbucks drinks, I don’t work at Starbucks, we don’t put olive oil in our coffee 😭😭😭