Wow what a busy month it was! February was a whirlwind of many things happening at once at work, lots of tests and my birthday and a fashion show and a very different movie experience.
First off my birthday! I originally thought I wanted to have a party but when the time came, there were too many things going on at school and I only wanted to spend my day celebrating by being comfortable with my favorite people. The night of my birthday, B picked me up. I originally dressed fancy but I checked and he said were going to have a quiet night in. So I put on my star sweatpants and my star necklace, and got his Valentine’s gift ready! He picked me up and I gave him the bird collage, his card and a picture of me.
We headed to his house and in the middle of the living room, there was a giant package. I opened it up as violently as possible to show my disregard for being neat. Inside is a telescope and all the things to go with it. We put it together right away and tried to look at the sky but it was raining and freezing outside. Then we headed to Whole Foods to rob the food counter of all its mac and cheese. Yum!
Thursday I spent my birthday with my family, my mom made enchiladas and apple crisp. I got socks and a pack of gum from my dad. Jacob made me a pair of glasses out of paper clips and tape.
Friday of my birthday. B came and picked me up. I packed a night bag and dressed sparkly but warm. He surprised me and drove into the parking lot of a fancy hotel and then told me we were staying there! We got wine at the front desk and went upstairs to explore our new sleeping quarters for the night. On the way we spotted art from his neighbor’s studio, Seda.
At the tippy top of the hotel, we found our room. Beautiful reds, white, and black in a very classy and modern decor. A huge lovely all white bathroom and a huge bed. We half finished our wine and decided to head downstairs to have dinner. We talked about the new book I was reading, the 48 Laws of Power. His drink was a bit strange tasting (the whiskey sour) while I played it safe and had sparkling rose. We finished eating and decided to have dessert delivered by room service.
We enjoyed our dessert and laid on the couch watching Archer. We slept in our giant new bed and it was an amazing night. I’m relieved that he is regaining is strength.
I woke up and neither of us really wanted breakfast. He encouraged me to take a bath and I messed with the controls but the water was overwhelmingly hot. I waited and while I bathed I sang for him. He tried to film me singing in the bath but I caught him sneaking up >< I got out and he said it was and excellent performance darling.
We had a wonderful weekend and went to a basketball game for his cousin Addy and had a huge bbq dinner with his family!!
The fashion show has been a great tool for me to gain insight to B’s mind. Other people are not afraid to ask questions that I am worried would be too forward. The most important answer he’s given is: ‘she has to earn it.’ I feel that too. Is my attitude that I am entitled to his affection or that I find ways to earn him.
Thinking of this I need to do a few things to improve myself and deepen the relationship between us. I need to be a deeper and more hardworking person, show more interest in others, practice expressing my own feelings and take myself a bit more seriously.
1. Take better care of my own friends
2. Be more independent at work
3. Put more effort and concern into my school
4. Find some consistency in exercise and gym time-- I want to do a hand stand like a yoga girl!
5. Write often to find reflection in myself and not loose my consciousness of life.
6. Think of what I need and feel about things so I can express them clearly as a human person.
7. Read, and consume less non-serious media.
8. Serve B by helping him with things and asking about his needs
B is an admirable person and I don’t need to get lost in him and forget myself as his equal
