#startwiththeboys

[drcknowledgeandpower]

To quote Chimamanda Adichie’s video “We Should All Be Feminists”, we ‘narrowly define masculinity’ when teaching our sons. We’re not doing this education thing for the younger generations very well... why don’t we tell our kids that they can do and be what they want to? This video, #StartWithTheBoys, is run as an advertising and informative campaign all over India to fight against rape and other forms of abuse. Personally, I find it's a great way to introduce the problem of “how we influence our boys to treat our girls” to the overall population. Powerful, clear, concise... love it.

[leleleleng]

#StartWithTheBoys ​- A film by Vinil Mathew starring Madhuri Dixit for #...

[greaseandglitter]

Teach Our BOYS that Girls Breathe Fire Too

In the wake of everything over the past few weeks, I thought I'd share something with you. I stumbled over this video a few weeks ago and it struck me deep in the heart. Yes, we should teach our young girls to breathe fire. But it isn't our girls we should teach. How many girls have been behind the gun of a school/movie theater/college campus shooting? How many girls are the mastermind behind human trafficking organizations? How many girls have been the officer to wrongfully and fatally shoot down a victim? Statistics show that boys are almost twice as likely to bully as girls. It is statically proven that school dress codes apply much more to young girls, rather than boys. Male offending equals about 1 violent offender for every 9 males ages 10 and older, a per capita rate 6 times that of women. Women accounted for 1 in 50 offenders committing a violent sex offense including rape and sexual assault. As of Saturday July 25, 2015 women make up 6.7% of inmates incarcerated, while men make up a staggering 93.3%. Now respectfully, of the total people surveyed in 2012, 28 percent of women and 22 percent of men admitted to cheating. That may be hard for some of you to believe. But that is another discussion in itself of stopping porn culture. You may call this sexism, but I believe in numbers more than I do a label. Do not call or think of me a "sexist", that would make no sense. I'm a boy myself, but I truly believe- as should you- that it's time for us to start with the boys. Teach our BOYS that girls breathe fire too. Teaching our girls to breathe fire is something we should already do each and every day. Teach our boys that they are equal to their sisters. That women can hold just as much political and social power as that of a men. Forget starting with the girls. That is the source of the problems. Start with the boys, because it is OKAY for boys to cry. Just something to think about. http://youtu.be/0Nj99epLFqg

[comicallycute]

Today I heard my 24 year old brother tell me 17 year old brother that his girlfriend needs to “put out” or he should leave her. They’ve been together for four months. My younger brother explained that they’ve yet to have sex because she had a bad experience once and is afraid. To which my older brother replied, “that excuse is invalid once you’re past 15 or 16.” I am utterly disgusted and repulsed, that not only does my own flesh and blood think that, but had the audacity to try and pass that on as advice and factual knowledge to a younger male. I later sat my little brother down and explained to him that everything our brother said was wrong, but also completely disgusting and one of the most horrendous things I’ve ever heard. That young girl was shamed at a young age and emotionally abused afterward. And now another man has the gall to say that her personal choice to withstand sex is wrong? That “it’s her own fault for making the wrong decision” and by now she should be over it? I’m truly ashamed and appalled by hearing these things being taught to my younger brother, but I was so relieved when he looked me dead in the eye when I sat him down and said, “It’s not her fault. I’m in no way pressuring her, and it’s not about the sex for me. I just want to have fun with her. That’s all that matters to me.”

#startwiththeboys

[afeministinthemaking]

We teach our “tough boys” not to cry, but instead we should teach them not to make women in their lives cry.The men who grow up violent are often the ones who were never allowed a healthy outlet for their emotions. Teaching boys they can't cry forces them to find other outlets for their frustration, anger, and sadness--and because of toxic machismo values, boys and men will turn to violence. No, not all men are like that, but to be denied your humanity is something that affects many people in terrible ways. Why should violence be socially acceptable for men, but not crying? On the other hand, boys who are allowed to express their emotions will not have to bottle them up, and will be able to find non-violent, healthy ways to express themselves. Men aren't naturally creatures of violence, but this is one of the many reasons many men become violent. 'Start With The Boys', a short film directed by Vinil Mathew and produced by Alex Kuruvilla, Managing Director, Conde Nast India, makes a powerful point about domestic violence. 

[thefreedomtrashcan-blog]

"Women's empowerment is not about women alone, which is why I pledged to create a short film that communicates clearly the need to change the mindset of boys before they become men." - Alex Kuruvilla, managing director of Condé Nast India

Jennifer Kogan, a journalist of the Washington Post reported, “A 2010 study followed 426 boys through middle school to investigate the extent to which boys favor stereotypically male qualities, such as emotional stoicism and physical toughness, over stereotypically feminine qualities, such as emotional openness and communication, and whether they have any influence on their mental well-being.

Results showed that as boys progressed through adolescence they tended to further embrace hyper-masculine stereotypes. But boys who remained close to their mothers did not act as tough and were more emotionally available. The research, conducted by Arizona State University professor Carlos Santos, showed that closeness to fathers did not seem to have the same effect.

This detail is important data to have because male suicide rates reportedly start to rise by age 16.  In addition to combating depression it seems evident that boys who stay connected to their feelings will be able to express their anger in healthier, more productive ways.”

[two-browngirls]

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

Maybe it's time to turn to men on International Women's Day. 

The #VogueEmpower initiative has been doing an important job at highlighting social stigmas and issues that lead to inhumane crimes and discrimination against women. 

How we socialise men can make the largest difference to these issues. #StartWithTheBoys focuses on how continuous, small gestures and ideas can go a long way. 

Do you think small differences can make a big change?

- S

[frabjuosity]

so on Sunday I was at a wedding and we'd snuck off to a room at the hotel to smoke because boyf and his friends are like teenagers

and the TV was on in the room which was generally noisy with chatter. it was me and about 10 guys maybe

as we were about to leave and rejoin the party, that "start with the boys" ad with Madhuri Dixit came on.  by the halfway point of the ad the whole room was just. silent. like stunned silence.

when Madhuri said the final line there was a shudder through the room and all the guys simultaneously went "whooa." we quickly went back to chattering and partying but at least for those 2 minutes they'd been completely transfixed by this message. nobody made any stupid jokes about it. everyone just shook themselves, went "whoa", and it was clear from the energy of the room that it had really captured them.

and I just. it made me super happy. maybe this kind of PSA can actually have an impact. maybe those guys actually got something to think about.

(this is the video in case ppl haven't seen it. warning for #abuse #domestic abuse #domestic violence)