STEPHANIE BROWN HAS ZERO RIZZ AND SHE KNOWS IT, YET SOMEHOW SHE GETS THE GIRL
All of the Robins have zero charisma (and yes especially Dick Grayson, but that’s another post) Stephanie brown was not safe from this. When she likes someone she is as awkward as her brothers but somehow by being herself she gets you in every lifetime. In these terrible headcannons I will-
-
Stephanie Brown who meets you at college while carrying five hot coffees in her hand. You smile at her, she tries to wave forgetting the coffees and spilling them all over herself
Stephanie Brown who stutters and smiles a little too wide when you run over to her, trying to clean off the stains with a little paper towel you had in your pocket
Stephanie Brown who blurts out “They’re not for me.” In a panic because your hands were all over her body
Stephanie Brown who swears to everyone years from now that she has living proof that angels can possess people, using your laugh as an example
Stephanie Brown who all of a sudden has a lisp when speaking to you after you’re finished drying off what remains
Stephanie Brown who gulps loudly when you let out a small giggle
Stephanie Brown who is mesmerized by the way you walk away after you exclaim you’re late for a class
Stephanie Brown who doesn’t seem to notice the bird above her head getting ready to explode its waste on her blonde curls
Stephanie Brown who gets to her dorm, calling Cassandra and over exaggerating the whole situation, saying you were obviously in love with her
Stephanie Brown who doesn’t see you again for another month and complains to whoever is nearby
Stephanie Brown who was so close to forgetting about you until she’s patrolling and you’re just coming back from a late night class.
Stephanie Brown who sees you getting mugged and immediately jumps into action, then slipping on bird dropping from the SAME bird when she sees your face
Stephanie Brown who lets out a whine before punching the guy and giving you back your bag
Stephanie Brown who slyly (very obviously) flexes her muscles once you compliment her and express your gratitude
Stephanie Brown who talks to you all night due to walking you to your dorm but very slowly (her fault) and gets your schedule
Stephanie Brown who plans on “coincidentally” meeting you at your morning classes
Stephanie Brown who wakes up too late and cusses out the sun
Stephanie Brown who waits for your next class and falls asleep AGAIN
Stephanie Brown who tries to kick a rock near a bench, turns out it’s decor and stuck there, she now has a stubbed toe
Stephanie Brown who takes her day off trying to wait up for you
Stephanie Brown who ends up waiting the whole day and finally catches up to you at your late night class
Stephanie Brown who finds out you have a study group for pre-law (or whatever class you want to take) and says she would love to join because she’s having issues too
Stephanie Brown who doesn’t even take law
Stephanie Brown who spends 300 dollars on the textbook you and your study group are using because the thrift stores nearby don’t sell it
Stephanie Brown who gets a call from Bruce after seeing the charge to his credit card, asking her if she was taking law. This turns into a gossip session because she’s tired of keeping you a secret (she hasn’t)
Stephanie Brown who sits with your group of friends while you study in a cute diner, already plotting against a guy you’ve known for ages because he’s sitting too close
Stephanie Brown who laughs at a “joke” that you said that turns out to be a mock case you’re working on
Stephanie Brown who says “tough crowd…” while her voice cracks
Stephanie Brown who doesn’t notice the small giggle you let out
Stephanie Brown who spends more time with you and falls deeper in love with you each day
Stephanie Brown who saves you from a robbery at the place you work at
Stephanie Brown who can’t help but want to protect you from the darkness of the world when you ask if you can sleepover in her dorm
Stephanie Brown who ghosts you after a year of knowing you because she realizes she is that darkness. She is the shadow that lurks at night. She is not who you need to be with. Despite the pining, the yearning, the need, she can’t bring herself to let you in. Afraid she’ll corrupt you somehow. You weren’t innocent, but in her eyes you were her favorite saint. If God is real and sends her to hell for loving you, then so be it. But if God takes you because of her being selfish and letting her have you, she would never forgive herself.
Stephanie Brown who skips her classes for weeks, ignoring the buzzes that she knows is from you
Stephanie Brown whose curls start falling out because of the sadness she put herself in
Stephanie Brown who accidentally hears something close to your name and drops to her knees and wails. Screaming your name, breathing it like it’s her oxygen
Stephanie Brown who drowns herself in old liquor she only brought out when your friends would come over
Stephanie Brown who smashes the bottles after, letting the blood soak through her shirt
Stephanie Brown who ignores her brothers help
Stephanie Brown who can’t even let Cassandra in
Stephanie Brown who somehow survives a month without you and finally gets dressed and somewhat showered
Stephanie Brown who goes to open the door and sees you there
Stephanie Brown who watches you yell in panic, screaming at her because she ghosted you
Stephanie Brown who wants nothing more than to kiss you but knows she needs to brush her teeth first… Stephanie Brown who realizes she can’t do that and her fate has already been sealed
Stephanie Brown whose heart stops the moment you scream that you love her
Stephanie Brown who chokes on a sob as she brings you in whispering quiet promises that she won’t leave ever again
Stephanie Brown who reveals her identity and watches as your face turns into one of anger
Stephanie Brown who shoves off that fear the moment you gasp “that’s why this weird girl in a mask asked me a little too much about my schedule and sexuality… oh my god!!!”
Stephanie Brown who spends the day with you in her dorm, helping you pick up the mess but laughing everytime you push her onto the bed for the thousand time because it’s your turn to take care of her
Stephanie Brown who stares at you with loving eyes as you help her brush her teeth and wash her hair
Stephanie Brown who spends the rest of college with you
Stephanie Brown who kisses you the moment you both graduate
Stephanie Brown who marries you a month later, despite you never meeting her family
Stephanie Brown who lets you meet her family at the wedding
Stephanie Brown who looks down in embarrassment as everyone recalls the first time she ever mentioned you
Stephanie Brown who watches you like it’s the first time as you laugh along with them
Stephanie Brown who flips off Damian Wayne as he rants to you about how you could do better
Stephanie Brown who watches in shock as your new best friend becomes Jason Todd, the man who hates everything, knows that you’re genuine and know a thing or two about cool bands and books
Stephanie Brown who lives up to the mantle but once you both hit your five year anniversary she’s finding new careers for you and your many animals
Stephanie Brown who has absolutely no charm but still got the girl of her dreams
-
“More Stephanie Brown!!!” Me and the five people scream. Can you guys see the community reference I added? AND THE MOMENT I STARTED LISTENING TO SAD MUSIC? I feel like it’s obvious
Anywhozel, requests for headcannons like these are open, if you guys want I can definitely try and make fanfics
I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLL
