Step One Question Six
6. Using your list of people who control you from question #5, substitute people you’ve tried to control in the following sentence: “I am powerless over ______.” Write out each one. (“I am powerless over my mother. I am powerless over Joey....”) How do you feel? Angry? Sad? Something else?
*EXAMPLE*
I am powerless over L I am powerless over M I am powerless over D I am powerless over K I am powerless over S I am powerless over G I am powerless over C I am powerless over E I am powerless over J
I feel empty. I think I use the control of others and their control of me as a way to distract myself from the way I feel inside. There is so much fear and loneliness. I would do almost anything to stop myself from feeling this. Control was the way that I was taught to fill the empty darkness. I think that if I control others, then things will go my way and I will be happy. I think that if I let others control me, they will love me and will not leave me. I am so afraid of abandonment and a general lack of control. Abandonment makes the loneliness go from wildly uncomfortable to unbearable. I will do most anything to make it stop, even if it means staying in a relationship that is not good for me.
By M