#codependentsanonymous

[westsidedonniepiccardi1977]

Man society left these young men to be savages! That's exactly what we getting! #codependentsanonymous #lostboys https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd1u_jcOxz7wtPj6HXExvOB-iSrJDVtBzAQPuQ0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[corylynchspeaks]

I went to a Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) meeting tonight and got my Welcome Coin...trying to heal from the wreckage of my past. It's so hard to heal from this. I love my fiancé so much and I don't want to let him go, but I think it's about time... #codependentnomore #coda #codependentsanonymous #healing #experience #strength #hope #learntoloveyourself (at WSAC) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2AvX9pBVEB/?igshid=qwmbkcp4m6ky

[dondepresso]

#575: Don Depresso Goes to Co-Dependents Anonymous

A NEW comic, believe it or not!

[codaroyaloak-blog]

Step One Question Six

6. Using your list of people who control you from question #5, substitute people you’ve tried to control in the following sentence: “I am powerless over ______.” Write out each one. (“I am powerless over my mother. I am powerless over Joey....”) How do you feel? Angry? Sad? Something else?

*EXAMPLE*

I am powerless over L I am powerless over M I am powerless over D I am powerless over K I am powerless over S I am powerless over G I am powerless over C I am powerless over E  I am powerless over J

I feel empty. I think I use the control of others and their control of me as a way to distract myself from the way I feel inside. There is so much fear and loneliness. I would do almost anything to stop myself from feeling this. Control was the way that I was taught to fill the empty darkness. I think that if I control others, then things will go my way and I will be happy. I think that if I let others control me, they will love me and will not leave me. I am so afraid of abandonment and a general lack of control. Abandonment makes the loneliness go from wildly uncomfortable to unbearable. I will do most anything to make it stop, even if it means staying in a relationship that is not good for me.

By M

[codaroyaloak-blog]

Step One Question Four

4. Write the phrase, “I am powerless over others.” Read it aloud, slowly, ten times. How does that make you feel?

I am powerless over others.

*EXAMPLE*

This phrase sometimes makes me laugh. I am not powerless over others! I am all powerful! I am a behavior analyst for heavens sake. Our credence is that if you don't like a behavior, change it. But I take it one step farther and think, if I don't like a behavior, change THEM. I want to change WHO YOU ARE. And I really think I can do it. If I just stick around long enough, work hard enough, and love you thoroughly enough, you will magically morph in the type of person who will love and care for ME. But this never happens. People virtually never change and when they do, they do it for themselves, and themselves alone. If someone doesn't love me or is behaving in a way I don't like, then I am powerless over this. What a revelation.

[codaroyaloak-blog]

Step One Question Three

3. Make a list of 10 people you’ve tried to control. Put a brief example or two next to each one. 

*EXAMPLE*

1. My mother - I tried to make her get healthy and be a good mom.

2. My father - I tried to get him to get healthy and stop doing drugs.

3. My step-dad - I try to get him to be less codependent.

4. M - Sometimes I think that I can stop him from ever drinking again.

5. J - I try to get her to break up with her awful boyfriend.

6. K - I tried to get him to pull his life together, get a job and an apartment.

7. M - I tried to get her to respect herself and her artistic creativity by expressing herself and taking care of herself.

8. Dr. D (Therapist) - I want him to feel a certain way about the relationship I am having.

9. A - I wanted her to think we were closer friends so that I would have been more a part of her wedding this summer.

10. J - I want to make sure she is good at her job (I got my friend hired at my company) so that it reflects well on me.

By Maya

[codaroyaloak-blog]

Step One Question Two

2. How is your life unmanageable?

*EXAMPLE*

My life is unmanageable in so many ways, it feels pointless to write about it. I feel out of control all the time and as though I am constantly grasping for anchorage. But, when I reach out there is nothing there unless I create it. What I need to create is belief-belief in myself and belief in something bigger than MYSELF. Statistically people who believe in something lead happier lives. So, I decided to believe. And, when I reach into that empty expanse inside myself there is something tangible waiting for me: What I call God. 

By Maya

[starliiit]

I needed this reminder more than anything today. It helps to know that triggers are pushing these old feelings to the surface.

"Those Old Time Feelings I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years. ~ Anonymous Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness. Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness. Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason. A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there. The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun. Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love. If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work. Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out."