Today, I have 2 views of the same scene. Here's part 1!
Day 2: A scene with no dialogue.
Summer was in full swing in Hawkins and it was the first one in years that everyone felt like they could truly relax. And they all were doing so at Steve's house.
Steve, sitting on the pool wall, his feet dangling in, took a look at most of his family. Robin and Nancy were lounging to the side, pinkies linked, a sun umbrella between them to shade them from the UV rays and blaring heat from the Sun.
Eddie splashed like an over grown toddler in the pool, climbed on by the younger Hellfire members who were trying to take him under. He was holding his own pretty well against the four younger boys.
Max and El were sitting on a blanket, painting their nails and listening to music from the littlenportable radio. Giggling and singing along when they liked the song.
Jonathan was grilling burgers and dogs with a pair of aviators on to mask his nearly permanently red sclera. He'd been taking the break up a little hard, but he seemed to finally be finding peace about it.
It was warm. Not like the temperature, it was summer after all. But the feeling Steve had in his chest looking at his found family. He knew they would always be able to be together like this.
Soon the girls would be leaving for school. He was sure Jonathan would leave as soon as he's sure Will will be fine without him. He wants away from this place worse than Eddie.
And Steve knew him and Eddie would leave. They've talked about it. Their future. Steve was planning a future with someone. He smiled as he looked at his future now. And felt a swell in his chest.
Eddie who said they could wait until the kids graduated. Eddie who sent a wink over towards Steve over the heads of his minions. Eddie who made Steve feel more complete than he'd ever felt in his entire life because he made Steve believe he was worthy and was enough when no one else had ever told him that.
No, it wouldn't always be able to be this way. Steve knew it. So he was going to soak it in while he could.
Description: Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.
Masterlist HERE.
Word Count: 7,980 ish.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bartender!Reader.
Rating: PG.
Warnings: Angst. Curse words. Mentions of drinking to numb the pain, sorta. Sad Steebie, then a resolved Steebie. Mentions of cheating, and the crappy feels that come after.
Requested: Nah, but it is for @cxptain 1k followers prompt challenge! And the prompt will be in Part 2! Anywho aaaaah!! Congrats to you lovely, you deserve every one of those followers and yet so so many more! Here’s to many, many more to come for you! And I can’t wait to watch as your lovely blog as it grows and grows! ❤️❤️❤️
A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.
Lovely page divider by writeyourmindaway
This is set in the Post Endgame, Everyone Lives AU. Endgame happened about 2 years before the beginning of this story, but no one died during Endgame, and Steve stayed in the future. However, he did still hand the mantle of Captain over to Sam. Also, this part is based off the Dean Lewis song of the same name, Be Alright. So, hope you enjoy!
Steve stood there, completely frozen in his spot in the middle of her kitchen. He’d only arrived moments ago, but he could already feel the shift in the air. He could already sense the impending destruction coming at him, at full force. And deep down he knew in the next few moments, everything would change. The next words out of her mouth would ruin everything, would shatter him completely.
He continued to stare at the floor between him and the woman he loves, the one he knows he will have to stop loving after tonight. He doesn’t know why he feels this way, he just does. And he isn’t ready to face the incoming heartache.
After a final deep breath in, he slowly slides his eyes up and sees her face is unchanged. It wasn’t just a trick of his mind, this isn’t just a joke, he’s not having a nightmare. All the emotions he’d noticed the moment he entered this kitchen are still very much there. Just under the surface, there is no way to mistake them. Her eyes are sad, so damn sad, and he knows that if they could, they’d be drowning in the unshed tears.
His eyes lock on hers for only a moment, before she can’t keep the contact any longer. She turns her head away from him, she’s trying to hide whatever is pooling in her eyes now. She’s trying to find the strength to voice the things screaming at her, in her mind. On instinct—or just from muscle memory, he can’t be sure—he reaches out for her hand to comfort her. A move he’s done time and time again. And the moment he takes her smaller one in his own, he almost retracts from how cold she feels. No longer is her skin warm and comforting, now it’s cold and unknown.
But he doesn’t even get the chance to pull away, because before he can, she does it for him once again. This was his second attempt to touch her, and she wasn’t having any part of either tries. She wanted no contact right now, be it from touch or eyes.
Steve would give anything to hear her thoughts in this moment. He wonders what is running through her mind. Why she can’t look at him. Why he can’t touch her.
He doesn’t have to wonder, silently, for long though.
“I made a dumb mistake,” she finally whispers, and he can’t miss the tremble in her voice—Or how her body is starting to resemble that now as well. But he can’t give it much more thought, when she turns her regret-filled, watery eyes to meet his, finally. Her voice breaking slightly on her next words, “those cigarettes weren’t, Bucky’s. They were my friend’s.”
His brows furrow, what’s so bad about that? It only takes him a second more for it to all click. The way her voice quivered on the word ‘friend’. He couldn’t have heard that right. She couldn’t mean what he thinks she means.
Without even realizing what he’s doing, he reaches out and cups her cheek. He doesn’t know why he does it, maybe so he could keep her eyes on him long enough to find the answers he wants in them. To find the truth he begs internally is there. That he heard her wrong, that he’s overthinking this all. He desperately wants to find in her eyes, that this isn’t what he thinks it is.
But he is crushed when he does see the truth, because it’s not the truth he wanted. It’s the truth that he had in fact heard right. That he wasn’t imagining anything. Yes, they’d had issues in their relationship. Yes, he was away a lot and he knew it killed her. That she hated how often he was away on missions. How she felt neglected and alone. They’d have many long nights arguing over these exact things. But he never thought it would end like this. Not once did he see this outcome coming.
Her next words tell him she is moving on. He didn’t even know they’d gotten this bad. He didn’t even realize they were in a place where she could move on from him. But clearly they had.
“I kissed him yesterday—well, actually he, he kissed me,” she turns her face away from his grasp, and his arm falls limp beside him. A tear rolls down her cheek, and she quickly swipes it away as her shaky voice adds, “but I didn’t stop him. I kissed him back.”
He feels it as the colour drains from his face, the deep claws of betrayal clasping onto his heart in a deadly grip. He takes a small step back, as if her words were a physical blow. He shakes his head as everything sinks in, but he can’t shake how her admission has made him feel. He knows he should walk away, but he is frozen in his spot once again. He wants to stay and fix this, but he knows from the look in her eye that there is no fixing this now. There is no going back.
He looks at her for a moment more, this woman he loves, this woman he wanted to spend his life with. Yeah, they had a lot of really bad moments, but they also had a bunch of really nice ones too. With one more deep, shuddering breath in, he turns on his heel without a word and walks out of her place. The door slamming in finality, as if it were the period at the end of a sentence, the end of their relationship.
“You alright there, big guy?” A sweet voice inquires softly in the loud space around him, but even with all the background noise, he couldn’t miss the concern playing in every word.
He glances up from his glass, the one he’d just been staring into for God knows how long. Long enough at least for the ice cubes to have all melted now, and the drink to have turned warm in his clutches. He knows he can’t actually get drunk, but there is something so therapeutic about sitting alone in a bar, with a drink in your hand. Where you are surrounded by lots of people, music, merriment and cheer. Where there is someone resting their eyes on the bar top near the end, and groups of friends piled into booths or around pool tables. Everyone going about their lives, with no notice of him or his troubles. He feels unnoticed, anonymous, and that’s exactly what he needs to feel right now.
He’s never been to this establishment before, walked by it hundreds of times on his route to his girlfriends place. And in this moment, he can’t understand why he’s never stepped foot in this pub. He’s eyes drift around the room quickly, everyone is enjoying themselves, everyone is keeping to themselves. Not a single person even paying him a moment's notice. As if he was just a random stranger, and not the man out of time. He likes it here, he decides.
His eyes finally slip over to the bearer of the sweet voice, and if Steve hadn’t just had a bomb dropped in the middle of his life. If he hadn’t just walked out the door of his girlfr—ex girlfriends apartment, he’d probably have felt his heart flutter at the beautiful creature before him. He probably would have drowned in the beautiful hues of her eyes, or begged to hear her soothing voice once more, or melted at the soft up-tilt at the corners of her lips, or blushed at her unwavering attention—which was solely placed on him at the moment, and no one else.
But he is numb right now. He is broken, and shattered, and above all else, hurt. He is sitting alone in this bar, wishing he could get drunk on the booze in his glass, and ignoring his phone that has been vibrating endlessly from its current place, face down on the bar top where it’s been sitting ignored for the last hour. Message after message, and a bunch of missed calls, but all from his friends. Not from her trying to reach out to tell him it was all a sick joke, or that she wants to try to fix things. But he knows for a fact that none of these messages or calls are from her. They couldn’t be now.
Because he’s been in this bar for 2 hours at this point, and he’d already reread a bunch of their messages. He’d already looked back at all the ones she’d sent, trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have, he knew it wasn’t right, but this was all just fucking with his head. Causing him to make bad decisions.
Bad decisions like reliving a bunch of their moments through pictures, the ones he’d slowly gone through and deleted of her. Of them. Every little piece of her that was saved and held so safely, so lovingly, in this little brick of metal and plastic. He knows he shouldn’t have looked at the photos before he deleted them, but his gluttonous mind told him he had to see it all just once more. He’d gone down memory lane for a solid hour, before he had finally deleted every photo, and then, just before deleting her contact info from his phone, he’d blocked her number.
It wasn’t so much to prevent her from contacting him, it was more to prevent him from getting his hopes up every time his phone made a sound. Every time it vibrated with an incoming text, or rang with a phone call. He knows his silly mind and hurt heart would skip a beat every time his phone made even the smallest of sounds. And just the thought of that alone was maddening, was enough to drive him insane. So blocking her meant he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was not her. It could not be her anymore.
“I’ll be alright,” he answers, the words feeling like a lie at the moment, but he knows they’ll be true one day. Some day. He takes a sip of his drink, his nose crinkling just a little at the instant reminder that his drink is now warm. As he sets the glass back down, he finishes his words off more truthfully, “soon enough.”
A soft giggle plays in the thick air around him, effortlessly cutting away some of its weight. “Well, I’m glad to hear that. But do you want me to get you a new drink or maybe some fresh ice?”
She’d clearly seen the disgusted look he’d sported just after sipping his now warm drink.
He is just about to shake his head, he can’t get drunk anyways, so there is really no point in his wasting his money on booze that’s essentially just for show. But before he can even begin to move his head, she beats him to it by gently taking the glass with the offending drink and dumping it in the sink between them, just under the bar top. “Ya know what? Let’s just get you a new one, my treat.”
Now he does shake his head, “that’s not necessary, really. But thank you.”
And she just outright ignores him, making and then placing a fresh drink before him. And then she leans in, her elbows resting on the bar as she gives him a small look. One that is both serious and yet so so cheeky, and he honestly doesn’t know what to make of it.
“Just between you and me, booze is never necessary,” she shakes her head softly, “but it does help sometimes.” She gives him a small half smile, as she pushes off the bar to stand back up, before knocking her knuckles on the top as if to get his full attention. But little does she know, she already has it. “I hope it’s able to help you tonight, big guy,” she says, not unkindly, not as if he needed the booze to actually help him. More sweetly, hopefully even, as if she prays this final drink will be the last moment in his bad times, and once it’s finished all his worries will just disappear, like the booze in his glass.
And he hopes so too.
Bucky’s voice pulls his attention back from his phone, where he’d once again been going over their texts. Still trying desperately to find where it all went wrong. He’d deleted everything else about her off his phone, but 2 months ago, when his thumb had hovered over the delete button for their text conversation for the first time, he couldn’t do it. He wasn’t ready to delete that final piece of her. Probably due to the small hope in him that they could still fix this, that this was just a hurdle they had to work themselves through.
Deleting photos is one thing, you can just take new ones. You can find most of the photos, the important ones anyway, scattered throughout social media, if you really wanted them back. But deleting the text thread, that was so final. There was no going back from that. There was no getting all those little moments back. No way to remember and relive those Good Mornings and Sweet Dreams. No way to laugh over the silly conversations over her boss embarrassing himself, or the hilarious chats they had over Tony’s daily antics. There was no way to replay the sweet words typed to cheer the other up, or remind the other of their undying love.
He almost wants to laugh sardonically at that last thought. ‘Undying love’ his America’s ass, it was clearly anything but that.
"I know you loved her, but it's over now, pal,” Bucky says gently, but Steve can’t miss the finality in his friends words. He had spent the last 2 months since he walked out of her apartment moping around the tower. All his friends had been trying to cheer him up, trying to help him through it, help him move on from it, but he just wasn’t ready yet. “It’s never easy to walk away, but you gotta let her go. It’ll be okay soon, you’ll see.”
Steve just nods numbly as he clutches the phone tightly in his hand, a momentary thought that if he tightens his hold even just a fraction more, the phone will be crushed. Broken beyond repair. And maybe that would be for the best? Then their texts would just be gone, and he wouldn’t have to be the one to delete them. He wouldn’t have to put forth the effort to finally click delete, like he’s tried and failed multiple times to do over the last 2 months.
“It's gonna hurt for a bit of time,” Sam adds softly, as if handling a wild animal that could snap and kill him at any moment, if he even so much as makes a single wrong move. And maybe that’s smart on Sam's part, maybe Steve is a wild animal right now. He doesn’t want to be, he doesn’t want to hurt anymore. He doesn’t want to be coddled anymore, he doesn’t want to be the reason his friends feel like they have to walk on eggshells around him anymore. But heartbreak does insane things to a person. Sam gives Steve a small, pensive smile as if assessing him for a moment. He seems to find whatever he was searching for, Steve guesses, as he motions to the half empty drink in front of Steve. The very one Bucky had doused with Asgardian Mead right after they had been delivered to their table. “So bottoms up, let's just forget tonight. You'll find another one, one day, man, and you'll be just fine. But you gotta let her go first."
Steve nods once more, as he forces his phone into his jeans pocket, feeling the warm metal slide along his thigh as it goes. He raises the drink up to his lips and drains the remains, before he’s even put the glass back down on the table, Bucky’s hand is in the air, calling the bartender over with another round.
He is starting to feel the mead now, it’s starting to fill him with a fuzzy warmth he hasn’t felt in a long time. His mind is becoming more muddled and hazy, but in all the best ways. He takes a deep breath in, relishing the blankness the liquor is painting his mind now. It’s a welcome reprieve after the 2 months he’s just had.
“Here ya are, guys,” the bartender says as she places down three fresh drinks.
And Steve furrows his brows at the familiar sweet voice. His eyes snap up from the table and land on that same bartender he’d talked to, two months back. He hadn’t seen her once since they’d arrived here an hour ago, and he figures she must work the later shift. As the first time he was here, by himself, she hadn’t been the original one to help him. Her inquiry into his state had been their first interaction, he hadn’t even noticed that night, in his hurt and heartbroken little bubble, when she’d relieved the male bartender. The original one who’d been supplying his drinks for the first 2 hours of his first visit.
And now, once again, he hadn’t even noticed her relieve the male bartender. Hadn’t even noticed her enter the pub. Hadn’t even noticed her approach their table. How he hadn’t, he has no idea. His eyes take her in, more fully this time than the last. She’s beautiful. How had he missed that before?
Her eyes drift over to his, as if she can feel him looking. A flash of confusion in her eyes is followed very closely by what he thinks is recognition, and then the small uptick of the corners of her lips follows them both. “How ya holding up, big guy?”
And yep, it was in fact recognition he’d thought he saw.
Steve feels the involuntary smile pulling on the edges of his lips, and he does nothing to stop it from happening. He hasn’t smiled, even a small one, in months, and he can’t bring himself to kill this one now. It’s nothing to write home about, but it’s a small step in the right direction. “I’ll be alright, soon enough,” he replies, the words sounding just a little better this time around. Just a little less like a lie, just a little more truthful, hopeful even.
Her smile grows just a tad bigger at his words, and a small, soft voice in the back of his mind informs him that she’s even more beautiful when she smiles.
“That’s really good to hear, you don’t suit the frown,” she says honestly, as their eyes stay locked for just a second more, before she breaks the contact to glance around the table to his two best friends. “If you guys need anything else, just holler,” then she gives him a final glance, paired with a small nod before she heads back over to the bar. And if Steve said he didn’t watch her make her way back over to the other side of the pub, he’d be a liar.
“Now I understand why he was so insistent on coming here tonight,” Sam mutters under his breath to Bucky, fully aware Steve also has super soldier hearing and would catch every word.
And he had, as he now rolls them over in his mind a few times, and honestly, he’d just wanted to come back here because he’d liked the atmosphere. He’d liked that no one gawked at him, or bothered him. Everyone here had just seemed in their own little worlds, much like he’d been—Or at least that’s the excuse his mind had conjured up for his true reasonings behind not wanting to go anywhere else, for his first time out in 2 months.
But maybe that wasn’t the real reason at all. Maybe he hadn’t even realized the true drive to return to this little obscure pub, tucked away between a flower shop and a thrift store.
Steve finally drags his eyes away from the beautiful bartender and back to his friends, not missing the looks they are both sending him now. He just stays silent, refusing to say a single word. Refusing to fill in the blanks around the interaction he’d just had with the beautiful bartender.
“So,” Bucky says slowly, after a few silent moments, about to voice the question that’d just been lingering in the air around them. Clearly his curiosity couldn’t handle waiting any longer for the answer to come on it’s own. “You gonna share who the pretty dame is, Punk, or?” he trails off there, and Steve watches as one corner of his best pals lips slowly tilts up in an interested but cheeky smirk, growing with every passing second that Steve doesn’t reply.
He fights his own smile entirely this time, as he pulls his phone from his pocket, while he answers flatly, vaguely, “the bartender.” Steve is a little shit, and he is completely aware of that fact.
Bucky sighs exasperatedly, that wasn’t the answer he’d wanted, Steve guesses, “I meant, what’s her name, ya cheeky bugger.”
Steve snorts as he stares intently at the screen of his phone, he knows his next reply isn’t going to satisfy his friends curiosity anymore than his last one did. He shrugs, nonchalantly, as his eyes drift back to her behind the bar, “dunno, never actually got her name.”
Bucky groans into his glass at his lips, but the chuckle that follows it shows he wasn’t really that upset. And Sam playfully mutters something Steve couldn’t quite hear. Or maybe he just didn’t care to listen hard enough to actually hear him.
“You planning on finding out her name?” Sam asks after a moment, his voice is much louder this time.
Steve finally turns back to his friends. “Yeah, maybe one day,” he replies, taking a sip of his drink and instantly noticing Bucky had already added the mead to it. When had he done that? Beats Steve. Was he complaining? Not in the slightest. “When I’m ready,” he adds as his eyes drop down to his phone’s screen once more, and with a deep stabilizing inhale and a resolved exhale, he finally clicks ‘delete.’
It’s time to start actually letting her go now.
His heart pumps in his ears, not much louder or faster than usual, but he can hear it so clearly in the early morning silence. It’s his first run through the park in months, he’d been away on basically back to back missions for the last 6. Throwing himself head first into whatever and wherever he was needed. He’d just got off a 4 week undercover mission in Italy, and had finally decided it was time for a break. It was time to just be home for a bit and settle back into normal everyday life.
When he’d first started accepting and requesting missions 6 months ago, it had been for the distraction. It had been to put his brain power to a better use, instead of sitting around and mopping about his breakup. He’d needed missions to keep him out of the dark places in his head, to keep him away from the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’.
But after a couple months, he no longer felt like he needed the distraction anymore. He felt like he was through the worst of it, but he feared that was only because he was still out there, still working away and doing his part to help the world. So he’d just continued on, taking any and every mission presented to him. His friends had started to worry he was pushing himself too much, that he was forcing himself to keep going too hard. And yeah, they were probably right, he probably was.
But his fear of coming home, only to instantly have all those deep emotions he’d been trying to, and successfully, escaping, kept him going. His fears that the second he stopped, they’d all come flooding back. That he’d find himself nowhere near as healed and moved on as he’d truly thought he was while away.
But even super soldiers needed a break sometimes. So after these last 4 weeks of pretending to be someone else entirely, he decided it was time to drop all the personas and just be Steve Rogers for a while.
The first few days back, he waited impatiently for the emotions and heartache to come. He waited for his mind to drift to those dark places once again. But after a week of being home, neither of those things ever happened. He still felt like he had out there in the world, working away every day. And the realization that he had actually let her go now, was a glorious one indeed.
So glorious that his friends believed a celebration was in order. Though they pretended that wasn’t the reason behind it at all, that it was just a ‘welcome home’ party for Steve. One that for some reason wasn’t even mentioned when he’d actually come home, but instead a week later. And yes, everyone had been present in the tower for the last week, so that wasn’t the excuse. And no, no one had brought this up once over the last week. It had only been decided on this morning by Tony, and he’d used the exact words ‘a welcome back party for Cap’. Steve believed the welcome back part was referring more to his mental state, than his physical one, but he’d let them have their party. And he’d enjoy it too, having missed them all immensely over the last few mon—
He felt it before he heard it, the impact of something small slamming into him, followed by a sound of someone's breath leaving their lungs with force, “ooof.”
His arms luckily worked faster than his brain, and managed to catch whoever Steve had just ran right into. His eyes taking just a few seconds longer to get the memo, before they dropped down to inspect the poor person he had just about barrelled down, but their head was still clasped delicately but firmly to his chest so he couldn’t make out if they were actually okay or not.
The smaller form quickly extracts themselves from the embrace, untangling their arms from around him, where they’d clearly also reacted hastily to prevent their swift meeting with the ground. And as they are pulling back, a sweet voice meets his ears and causes him to perk up. “I’m so sorry, are you alright? I was not paying any attention to where I was—“
His eyes widen for just a second, not long enough to be noticeable to anyone but him, before he quickly catches and corrects it. Of all people to slam into, it had to be her.
No, not her, her. Her, as in the beautiful bartender. And Steve can’t help it as his eyes take her in once again, more thoroughly this time, taking in new details of her face that he hadn’t even noticed the last two times he’s seen her. In his defence though, he had a lot going on back then, and the pub wasn’t exactly brightly lit. At least nowhere near as bright as this open and airy spot in the park is, what with the glorious summer morning sun lighting up the world around them both.
His heart flutters just a little, when he sees the shock morph into recognition, then finally into something he can only believe is happiness. Fondness even.
“I’ll be alright,” he says as a small cheeky grin plays on his lips, he is well aware he’s basically only ever said the same few words to her, but he likes how they have changed a little each time he’s said them, “soon enough.”
Her smile now matches the sun shining down on them both, and the soft voice from before, the one at the back of his mind, is a little louder this time, as it informs him that she is stunning when she smiles like that.
“And this time, I actually believe you, big guy,” she nods, and he can’t miss her smile shifting into a grin. A cheeky as hell one, and Steve decides he likes that smile best. If he’s honest, it suits her best, at least from what he can tell. She playfully rubs at her head as if it was hurting her, “but for real, what are you made of, freaking lead?”
He chuckles deep in his chest, shaking his head, “some days, I definitely think I am.”
She giggles at that, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. It’s something that he feels like he could never get sick of hearing, no matter how many times he does. Then, the next place his mind goes is that he desperately wants to hear it again.
However, all those thoughts fly out of his head when what just happened finally clicks fully in, and he instantly wants to kick himself for not asking this yet. “Are you alright though? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” His eyes roam over her, not to ogle, but just to assess that she is in fact okay. As if he could actually tell just by looking, the schmuck.
She nods, “oh yes, I’m okay. Not the first time I’ve distractedly walked into someone. And it definitely won’t be the last,” she chuckles softly at that.
Steve signs in relief, glad he hadn’t hurt her, then something in him pushes his next words out, as if he were the most confident man on the planet, “are you heading somewhere right now? Could I buy you a coffee, to make up for the whole running into you thing?”
A light pink dusts her cheeks, as she glances down at the ground shyly, “I would love nothing more then to say yes to that offer, but I’m actually just heading to the pub to deal with a few last minute issues. And I’m already running rather late.” She glances back up at him, a small frown marring her features in a way that makes Steve want to do everything in his power to bring back her sunshine.
He doesn’t though, and instead just nods, as disappointment seeps through him, but he hides it as best he can behind a small understanding smile. “That’s alright, another time then.”
She chews on her lower lip for a second, and he can’t miss the internal battle clear as the day in her eyes. Like she wants to just say ‘fuck it’ and go to coffee with him, but she knows she has somewhere else to be. With a small sigh, she nods, “another time for sure.” She glances down at her watch, and a small groan leaves her lips, before she looks back up at him. “I’m so sorry, I really have to go, but it was so nice seeing you again, big guy.” She goes to walk passed him, but halts and glances up at him once more, “come visit me one night soon?”
He smiles down at her, a small nod of his head, “of course.”
Her smile grows bright and brilliant once again before she heads off towards the pub. Steve glances over his shoulder to watch her leave, and just as he is about to focus back on his morning run, he swears he hears her mutter “stupid Tony Stark.”
But he couldn’t have heard that right, right?
He shakes his head and then starts running in the opposite direction, on his way back to the tower. Already planning his next visit to the pub, his next chance to see the beautiful bartender, that seems to be slowly infiltrating his mind. In all the best ways.
He stands stunned on the sidewalk, staring up at the outside of the establishment Tony had booked for his ‘welcome back’ party. The very same establishment he’d been planning all day to visit, the first evening he has off this week. Was this just a coincidence? Had Tony just booked this place by complete fluke?
One glance at the man in question, then to his two best friends, tells him this was no mistake. This was all planned perfectly, in their minds. He sighs as he shakes his head to himself, he isn’t sure what the entire night's plan is, and he hopes it won’t be too embarrassing. But with his group of friends, it probably will be.
Tony is the first to move towards the door, all the avengers having stood on the sidewalk for a moment to allow their pub choice to really sink in. To all watch his reaction to their party venue for the night. And it hits him then, that his entire team now clearly knows of the beautiful bartender. He glances at Sam and Bucky, both looking a little bashful and he knows they spilled the beans.
Probably not on purpose though, because they did work with spies. And talking to Nat could turn into an interrogation real quick. Without her victim even realizing it. If she got even a hint of you hiding something, she would expertly have you telling her all your dirty secrets before you even noticed it.
And Clint, well, you never really knew where he was at any given moment, so he overheard way more than he should. But never gave too much indication that he knew anything, most times. Spies—Steve chuckles as he starts to follow his friends into the pub—ya couldn’t keep a damn thing away from them.
And as for Tony, Steve is positive he had Friday inform him whenever a couple team members were having a deep conversation. Steve is also positive that Tony has specific trigger words for Friday to listen out for, and inform him the second one is uttered aloud. Things like: Date, Kiss, Mistake, Mad, Pissed, or Tell me—and honestly, probably hundreds more. Just small words that could be a part of a much more risqué conversation. Because Tony seemed to also just know everything about everyone. He always had some form of blackmail at his disposal.
Just as he is about to head through the door, a familiar sweet voice hits his ears.
“Hello, Mr. Stark, Welcome to The Black Swan,” the lovely voice pauses as the rest of them make it through the door. The group probably looking rather intimidating, all huddled in the entrance of the pub. “Is this your whole party?”
“It is,” Tony replies as he looks around the quaint pub in curiosity.
Steve’s eyes finally land on her, as hers quickly assess all the party members, and when they skim right past him, he is almost sad for it. That is, until she double takes, and shock fills her face. She corrects it quickly, and gives him a small hesitant smile before shifting her eyes back to Tony. “The party room is all set up for you guys, if you’ll just follow me.”
He follows behind dutifully, as she leads them through the scarcely occupied pub, and to a set of double doors that he’d never noticed before. Not that he’d been here often, nor was he too caring of his full surroundings those first two visits. She pushes open the doors, motioning for the group to enter the room, as she states, “make yourself at home, everyone. Kelly and Michael will be your tenders tonight, and they’ll come in to take your orders in a few minutes.”
“Thanks,” the group says or mutters collectively, in response as they make their way into the small banquet room.
As he passes by her, he sends her a smile, and she returns it, though it’s nowhere near as bright as earlier in the park. It almost looks uncomfortable. Forced even. And he wants to question if she’s alright this time, but she nods and walks off before he can even utter a sound. He watches her go, once again, before he shakes his head, making a note to track her down later, and privately see if she is okay.
His eyes move to the room, as he is the last one to enter, and it’s not a banquet hall at all, it’s more of a lounge. Inviting and plush black leather couches and chairs are set up in the middle of the room. A few tables around and between them, plus near the edges of the room, with soft lighting overhead. Old black and white photos and prints scattered across the walls, showcasing the pub and its guests throughout the years.
Steve decides he rather likes this room, likes the atmosphere just as much as the rest of the pub. It’s inviting, and casual, and airy, and, and friendly; all things he appreciates, and is sure has entirely to do with the beautiful bartender. Or at least, he believes it has to do with her at least.
“Well, you all heard the woman, make yourselves comfortable,” Tony chirps as he heads over to one of the big black chairs and plops himself down unceremoniously. Which causes Steve to chuckle through a head shake as he heads over to get seated with the others.
“Is she the owner?” Bucky pipes up after everyone has settled. The question to anyone else’s ears would just sound nonchalant and unimportant. Like it was just a random question that popped into his head just now. But the look in Bucky’s eyes, as he’d stared Steve down while asking, tells him it very much wasn’t a random question, but instead a well played and quickly planned attack.
“Little miss?” Tony clarifies, tilting his head towards the door, and Bucky gives him a nod in confirmation, then he answers a second later. “Yeah, she is. Sweet girl,” he notes, “had a wonderful chat with her this morning. I was intrigued, she isn’t that old, yet she fully owns this place all on her own.” His eyes catch Steve’s, “we just talked business for a bit. I enjoy learning how others amassed their empires, even the small ones.”
And yep, Steve is fully aware, from the cheeky look in Tony’s eyes, that he knows the entire story behind his small, and few, interactions with the beautiful barten—bar owner, he corrects. Tony wasn’t curious about how she acquired the pub at a young age, he was just digging for information for his own personal gains. Maybe he just wanted to know enough about her so he could run a background check or something.
Or maybe it was for entirely different reasons, Steve can’t be sure at the moment. But what he is sure of, is that Tony will let him know the exact reasons behind his lengthy talk with her, soon enough.
The night goes well, minus the lack of a beautiful bar owner, but that’s just a Steve problem. As he glances around the room at his friends, his family, all at different stages of intoxication, him and Bucky included, he smiles. He really did miss them all, just as he’d missed nights like this. Ones where he felt like himself, like at this very moment he had not a single care in the world. Like he hadn’t just gone through a breakup, the end of his 2 year relationship with a woman he thought he’d grow old with.
He missed being able to just have a fun and relaxed evening with his friends, not having to hide any part of him away and plaster on a fake smile to play the part of a well adjusted man. Instead, his smile was real, and he wasn’t hiding a damn thing.
Bucky had smuggled more mead into the pub with them, so Steve was feeling the effects of it right about now. Not enough to be drunk, but enough to be a little less sober than he normally was. Tipsy, as Sam always called it.
His eyes adjust to the pool table before him, after a few drinks, a few team members had decided a game of pool was in order. So the ones who wanted to partake, had left the sanctum of the lounge and ventured into the main part of the pub to take over one of the pool tables. Right now, Sam and Bucky were up against Nat and Clint, and the game was getting a little intense. Both sides wanting to win it all, for the bragging rights and the meagre funds they’d all placed down in the beginning. It wasn’t a lot of money, but it was more then they’d all walked in the joint with.
Steve was standing off to the side, his mead spiked drink in hand, watching the intense battle as it played out. Every so often, his eyes would drift to the bar, seeking out a familiar form, but they’d never find the one they were looking for. He checked his watch, seeing it was nearing 11, and he is pretty sure, if his memory is accurate—which it usually is, that she normally started her shifts around that time. At least from the hazy memories in his mind, he is pretty sure that’s correct. He’d never really been looking at the time, both his other visits here. Though he’d spent a lot of those two times staring at his phone’s screen. Not at the time, but he could just remember it on the edges of his memories. Peeking just above where his eyes were focused on, both those nights.
And yeah, he’s pretty sure both times he’d seen her for the first time those two evenings, was just after 11. Almost completely positive about it, actually.
His eyes check his watch once more, seeing it’s just passed 11, and then they flick up to the bar once again. And yep, there she is, in all her radiant and relaxed glory, he notes quickly in his mind. And before he can think better of it, he’s making his way towards the bar, unconsciously seeking out her presence. As if he just needs to be closer to her, he just needs some small piece of her attention. Maybe it’s the booze, or maybe it’s something more. He doesn’t dig deeper into the true reasons behind it, and instead just allows his body to make the calls all on it’s own. He isn’t complaining with the direction it’s taking him currently, anyways.
He takes a seat in an open spot at the bar, placing his drink down in front of him as he does. She is busy making someone else’s drink at the moment, so he just waits patiently for her to notice him. Realize he is sitting here now, and come over to him on her own.
That doesn’t take long, once she finishes off the drink she glances down, as if again being able to sense his eyes on her, and makes her way towards him. Stopping once she is directly across the bar top from him.
“Hey, big guy,” she sends him a small smile, the nickname she’s always used for him making him return the gesture, “need a refill?”
He glances momentarily down at his drink, before gently shaking his head, “no. I’m okay for now.”
She nods, and before she can take her leave, he pipes up, “so, you own the place?”
Her eyes leave him, and travel around the space fondly, “I do.” Then they find his again, as she leans on the bar top, just like his first time here. And when her voice comes out, it’s just above a whisper, keeping her words between them, and only them, “so, you’re an Avenger?”
Steve grins, as her earlier reactions make more sense to him now. She obviously hadn’t realized who he was the first two visits, not till he showed up with the whole team of world saving superheroes, and looking like the only one who’d fit the original Captains descriptions.
“I am,” he nods, taking a sip of his drink but not taking his eyes off her. He doesn’t want to miss a damn thing.
She nods, the cheeky look back on her face. The exact one he is really starting to enjoy more and more, everytime he sees it, “and their Captain at that.”
“I was,” he corrects. “Gave that title over to Sam a few years back. Wanted to step back a bit, maybe finally have a life of my own.”
“And how did that go for you?” She asks, intrigued, “Did you get the life you wanted?”
He thinks the innocent question over, not missing the small, yet deep undertones within it. Or at least what his mind takes as a deeper underlying meankng, just due to all he’s personally been through since handing the mantle of the Captain over to Sam. He hums, answering truthfully, “at first, it went well. I thought I’d found it in the beginning, but I’m realizing more and more that I hadn’t actually found it. Not truly, at least. Not in the way I’d thought.”
She hums in understanding, nodding her head softly, and then she looks him dead in the eye, “so, what are you going to do about that then, big guy?”
He thinks the question over for a moment again, he’s never told her about his ex, or why he’d ended up in this pub 8 months back, but the twinkle in her eye tells him she’d figured it out. Or at least figured out the basics. That she understands that his words truly meant he thought he had found a life with his ex, but then he hadn’t in the end. And now he needs to figure out where to go from that. Where he wants his own life to go. No more living it for someone else, he needs to live it for himself. For Steve Rogers, the scrappy little kid from Brooklyn.
He gives her a small smile, taking a sip of his drink before he answers, “I’m going to try again.”
She smiles brightly at him, “that’s a wonderful idea, Steve. You deserve the world, and don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t.”
He nods, trying to hide how much he loved hearing his name fall so effortlessly from her lips. “I won’t. Promise.”
She nods, pleased with his answer, then glances down the bar before turning back to him as she pushes off the top, “well, duty calls.” She gestures to his glass, “need a refill before I go?”
Steve shakes his head softly, “no, I think this is my last one for the night.” For awhile, he actually means.
She nods once more, a small happy smile on her lips, before she ventures off to help someone else, and Steve gets up to head back over to the pool tables. To his friends.
But all throughout the rest of the night, he finds himself still glancing back at the beautiful bar owner, as she floats around happily in her own little world. In her element. In the space she’d built entirely by herself. For herself. Something Steve knows he needs to do for himself, as well, he needs to build the world around him that he wants. The life he deserves, entirely on his own and just for him. Not for anyone else.
And as Steve glances at her once more, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen something so breathtaking in his life—No, scratch that. He is positive he never has. He knows for a fact, that he hasn’t. Not yet, at least.
And as the night draws to an end and Steve heads back to his house, walking part way with his friends, he finally realizes that he will in fact Be Alright. Completely and entirely, Soon Enough.
Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.
Catch up HERE.
Word Count: 4,400 ish
Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.
A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.
July 2018 - Present.
He walks into the kitchen to find Bucky, Clint, Sam and Barney all standing around the kitchen island pouring a line of shots. He shakes his head and chuckles, “really, guys? Starting off with shots?”
Bucky puts his hands up, “don’t look at me, this is dumb and dumbers fault.” He nods to the Sam and Clint, who are still happily pouring said shots.
Sam scuffs, “I take offence to that nickname.”
“Yeah?” Bucky turns back to him. “Well, I take offence to all my shit you guys have broken throughout the years, during your many drunk-scapades,” he scuffs back.
“If you’re talking about that antique vase we broke back in 10th grade,” Clint starts, “then you’re welcome. That thing was ugly as fuck.”
“It was a family heirloom!” Bucky huffs.
“A butt ass ugly one,” Sam points out as he goes to hand the shots out, causing Barney to laugh and say, “I remember that party, that was the night I asked Becs out.”
Bucky shoots him a playful glare, “oh, yeah. I remember that too.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s not get into this, or we will never make it to the bar,” Steve sighs, and accepts his shot. “Plus, it’s Bucky Bachelor party, let’s make it a good night.” He raises the shot up in a toast, “To Bucky finally entering the married life.”
Sam raises his glass, “even though he has basically been there since day one.” Then he makes a whipping sound and gesture with his free hand at Bucky. Causing everyone to chuckle, except Bucky who just glares at Sam for a moment, before he laughs and shrugs, then raises his shot, “I can’t even deny that.”
Clint raises his as well, “no you can’t, you’ve been wrapped around that girls finger since the day you met.”
“Alight guys, focus,” Barney laughs and shakes his head, raising his glass high in the air, “to an amazing night with friends, laughs and more booze then should ever be allowed.”
“Here, here,” they all say then take their shots, and slap the glasses down on the counter top.
“Alright, now time for more!” Clint gleefully exclaims and starts to line up the glasses again.
“Oh god,” Steve groans, “someone is going to die tonight. I can just feel it.”
Bucky walks around the island and claps Steve on the back, before whispering, “let’s hope it’s that one,” as he nods towards Sam. Though clearly he wasn’t quiet enough…
“I heard that!” Sam yells over his shoulder, “and don’t lie, you’d be miserable if I was gone.”
“‘Miserable’ isn’t the word I’d use,” Bucky says and then smirks at Sam’s gasp, which is abruptly followed by a pout. “Awe, Sammy. You know I’m just kidding, I’d miss you,” he pauses, “for at least a week. Maybe even two!”
Sam just shakes his head and laughs, “thanks, man. That makes me so happy to hear.”
Bucky winks at him and then the guys all do another round of shots, before switching to beers for a bit. They all just stand around the kitchen island talking and catching up.
After a while Barney turns to Steve, “how’s Peter?”
“Good, just about finished college.”
“That’s awesome, good for him. And Tony, how’s he doing?”
Steve shrugs, “he’s okay. As good as he can be, what with being engaged to the she-witch.”
“Yeah, what the hell even happened there?” Barney asks, “how did that even start off?!” He glances at the other guys, as if they’d be able to clarify it for him.
“Honestly, I have no clue. And I don’t really care,” Steve says adamantly. “I tried to warned him about her, but he refused to listen. You know how he is. Once his mind is set on something, nothing anyone says can change it.”
“Stubborn as a mule, that one,” Clint agrees.
“Plus,” Steve continues, “it almost came between him and I. As I was telling him one thing and she was lying, and telling him something completely different. So that’s when I just dropped it, and let him make his own choices. As horrible as they may be.”
“Did anyone try talking to Madeleine about this all?” Barney asks. “Maybe see if you’d be able to talk her out of it, instead?”
Sam scuffs, “please. Girl is in it for the money, and some sick twisted need to be close to Steve. And if she can’t have him, Tony is the next best thing.”
Barney turns to Steve, “I thought you said you’d never speak to her again?”
“I did,” he confirms, “and I haven’t broken that yet. She has tried a few times to talk to me at family gatherings, or when I visit my parents, but I either outright ignore her, or just walk away.” He shrugs, “I don’t have a damn thing to say to her.”
“Wow,” Barney mumbles, “and here I thought Tony was smart.”
“We all did,” Bucky adds.
“Okay, enough about the she-witch! It’s my damn bachelor party and I refuse to spend any more of it talking about that evil, manipulative creature.”
The boys go back to talking about everything but Madi, however, Bucky’s words cut deep into Steves mind. And before he can stop himself he is remembering exactly how true his best friend’s words are. And the exact night he truly learned the extent of her manipulation…
July 2011 - 7 years ago.
He arrived with the whole gang to Clint’s house for his birthday party, and within minutes of entering the house he was being dragged off by his team to play beer pong. Which wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend his night, but he figured he’d get a game or two out of the way, then maybe he’d be able to sneak back to his friends. Hopefully that would appease his team for a bit. At least long enough to spend the majority of his birthday party with the one person here that he actually wanted to.
Throughout the matches, he’d catch himself glancing back to where his friends all still stood, but more importantly, where she still stood. He’d been trying to work up the courage to ask her to prom all week, but kept chickening out, or something would interrupt him whenever he’d finally find the momentary courage. Which would then promptly vanish once the interruption was over.
It was frustrating as hell, he’d never been this nervous in his whole life. But then again, he’d never met anyone like Y/N before. So that was probably why.
A loud commotion catches his attention and he turns to see Sam wrapped around Y/N’s smaller frame. And for a second a pang of jealousy runs through him, but then he hears her boisterous laugh echoing off the walls and any upset he had felt, melts away instantly.
Her laugh was his favourite sound. And hearing this exact, loud one, informed him that she was probably, currently fucking with Sam. And loving it. If the faint giggles he now heard were any indication of that.
He instantly has an urge to go check in on his friends, and find out what Y/N was messing with Sam about. Especially since it really seemed to make her happy. But before he can even take a step, he sees a flash of platinum blonde beside him before hearing, “we need to talk. And trust me, you’ll want to hear this,” whispered into his ear.
He pulls back to see a grinning Madeleine standing beside him, and even though he’d love nothing more then to tell her to piss off and to continue on with his previous plans, something in her expression sends a chill down his spin and he finds himself nodding. Then leading her out of the room to somewhere more quiet.
He has no idea what the hell she wants, but it can’t be good. If his gut feeling is anything to go by. And normally his gut instincts are always right. So in this case, he trusts it, 100%.
They wander down the hall a bit, just till the party noise isn’t so loud, then Steve halts his steps, turns to Madi, and crosses his arms over his chest, “okay, spill.”
“I think we should go into one of the rooms,” she says as she goes to lay a hand on his forearm but he takes a quick step back, to avoid it.
“I think right here is perfectly fine,” he glances down the hall where he can see teens mingling around in the kitchen. Not wanting anyone to get the wrong idea seeing him and Madi coming out of a room, alone and together, after their talk.
He motions for her to start and she just glares at him for a moment then begins, “I heard you haven’t asked anyone to prom yet.”
“Not yet, no,” he says, which is true. However, he has plans to ask someone, if he can ever get over his damn nerves. But Madi is the last person on earth that he’d ever tell of his plans to ask Y/N. That’s for damn sure.
“You should take me,” she smiles up at him.
He laughs loudly in her face, unable to hold it back, “and why the hell would I do that?” He shakes his head, “I’d rather go alone.”
But the reaction his words get from her, is—well, not even close to what he expected it would be. Not even by a long shot. Her smile has grown even more, and it honestly creeps him out. “I didn’t want it to have to come to this, Steve, but you leave me no choice.” She smirks even more, “if you don’t take me to prom, then I’m going to go to the Principal's office first thing Monday morning and tell her exactly what I saw when I walked into Mr. Banner’s room last week.”
He glares at her, “what the fuck are you talking about, Madeleine?”
“Oh, I duno,” she plays innocently with her hair, “maybe just how I caught Y/N and Mr. Banner in a very compromising position.”
“You’re a liar.”
She shrugs, “that may be true, but the Principle will still need to look into it. Meaning your precious Y/N,” she spits venomously, “will be removed from school during the investigation. So she will miss her exams and won’t be able to graduate with us. Plus, let’s not forget that Mr. Banner’s career and marriage will be ruined by the allegations, regardless of if they are proven false or not.”
He grabs her arm and yanks her into the first room he can reach, slamming the door behind them, “what the fuck is wrong with you! Are you completely devoid of all human emotion? You’re talking about destroying two peoples lives like it’s just explaining to your friends how your fucking weekend was.”
She just shrugs, “take me to prom and both their lives will be left intact.”
“You have no proof because they are false allegations, and if you think I’m going to just sit here and let you blackmail me using Y/N, your sadly mistaken. I’ll meet you in the Principal’s office on Monday morning and I’ll tell her how you threatened me with this all.”
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and casually scrolled through it till she clearly found what she was looking for. “I have hard copies of these at my house, so deleting them won’t do a thing,” she says as she hands him the phone.
He glares at her then turns his attention down to the screen, seeing a very clear, and very compromising image of Y/N and Mr. Banner hugging outside…Nat’s house? Son of a bitch. “This is just a picture of a hug, Madi, I was there seconds after that photo was taken. Mr. Banner was just comforting Y/N after you destroyed her night.” He passed the phone back to her, “that image doesn’t prove a damn thing.”
“Well, regardless of what you say, if I go in there with a story and those photos, who do you think they will believe, hmm? Me, a straight A student, cheer captain and student council member,” she gestures to herself then to Steve, “or you, her best friend who probably knew about the affair and would do anything to protect Y/N. Or do you forget roughing up Johann in the boys locker room?”
“How do you even know about that?”
“Oh, Johann and I talk. He’d be willing to testify to how you’d literally beat someone up to protect Y/N. Plus Baron and Brock were witnesses that could voice what they saw that day, as well. So you’d go down with her. A true Romeo and Juliet story,” she rolls her eyes, “so, your choice. Take me to prom and everything is good. Or don’t, and I blow up everyone’s lives on Monday.”
“All I have to do it take you to prom, and you’ll delete all those photos and never bring this up again?”
“Yup, I’ll delete them all the day after prom,” she nods, then adds, “but you can’t tell anyone about this chat, that includes Bucky. And I also don’t want you to even so much as look at Y/N, let alone talk to her at any point between now and prom. I don’t want her interfering with our prom planning and preparations. I won’t allow her to ruin my prom night.”
“Are you fucking serious? I can’t just avoid her, she’s my best friend. That will crush her.” And him, but he left that part out.
“Oh I am totally serious,” she nods, “all you have to do is not talk to Y/N, not tell anyone about this chat, and take me to prom. It really isn’t that difficult, Steve. And then you can spend all summer making it up to your precious Y/N.”
“You’re a horrible person.”
She grins wickedly, “so I’ve been told, but I always get what I want. And right now that is you, so do we have a deal?”
“Fine,” he growls, “deal.”
“Perfect,” Madi smiles. “Well, let’s get back out there, I’ll stick with you for the rest of the party. Just to make sure you keep your word to stay away from her.” She moves to open the door then glances over her shoulder at him, “oh, and Steve, if I even so much as hear a word about you texting or calling her, this deal is off and I’ll go straight to the Principle. Got it?”
He clenches his jaw and nods. Trying to tell himself it’s just two weeks. Juuuust two weeks. Then he can rid his life of the plague that is Madeleine fucking Karlington, and do everything in his power to make it up to Y/N. Starting by telling her all about this little fucking chat he’s just had. They venture back out to the party, and true to Madeleines word, she sticks right next to him.
He secretly glances Y/N’s way and the forlorn look on her face breaks his heart. Because he isn’t stupid, he knows he is the exact reason it’s there. The reason she now looks miserable, and all he wants to do is go to her, apologize, and put that brilliant smile back on her face.
But he can’t. Not tonight, at least.
Present - July 2018.
“Pal, ready to go?” Bucky asks him and he nods then grabs his jacket and they head outside to get in the cab.
Once they pull up to the bar, Steve pays the cabby and then they all head inside. The first thing he does is search for the girls, finding 4 of the 5 sitting at a back table. But Y/N is not with them.
They start to make their way to the table and that’s when he notices Johann and Baron standing at their fucking table, and he has to swallow down his anger. And hard. This is Bucky’s night, don’t fucking ruin it! But the memory he just relived at the house is making it very hard for him to stay calm.
They finally reach the table, and everyone cheers and exchanges merry hellos.
“Hey, Steve,” Baron says.
But he basically just ignores him, only offering a stiff nod then turns to Wanda, figuring she’s the least intoxicated at this point, “where’s Y/N?”
Wanda nods her head in the direction as she says, “the bar.”
He turns just in time to see Brock approaching Y/N, and instantly he sees red. He drops his jacket on a chair back and makes his way towards them. Knowing she won’t want to be alone with that piece of shit. And he sure as shit doesn’t want her alone with him either.
As he is walking towards them his mind slips back to the last half of his 18th birthday party. And the exact words he said to Brock that night..
July 2011 - 7 years ago.
He heads into the kitchen to make himself another drink, needing all the booze he can find right now. But as he is making one he hears, “Steve,” followed by the feeling of someone incessantly patting his shoulder, clearly trying to get his attention, he turns to find Bucky, Nat, Sam and Hilde all standing there. “We need to talk,” Bucky says.
He sighs and mumbles, “what is with everyone saying that tonight.” Instantly receiving weird looks back from his friends.
“What?” Sam asks, confused. But before Steve can say a word Nat waves a dismissive hand around, and continues on with their original mission. “We can revisit that after. We have more important things to deal with first.” She yanks Steve towards the hall, with the others following closely behind. She then leads him into Clint’s dads study then quickly shuts the door.
“What’s up guys?” Steve asks, hesitantly, unsure if he can even handle anymore shit news right now, on top of the shit storm Madi just dumped on him, not even 20 fucking minutes ago. He glances at them all, and their expressions don’t put him at any more ease. The opposite actually, and now he is panicking more, “what happened?”
They all share a look, clearly having a nonverbal conversation then Hilde huffs and turns to Steve, “I’ll just say it then, Brock asked Y/N to prom and she is thinking about accepting.”
“He what!?” Steve gapes at them.
“Uh, yeah, man. He asked her in the kitchen while you were talking to Madi,” Sam says.
“Mother fucker,” Steve mumbles and starts pacing.
“Speaking of that,” Nat pipes up, “what the fuck was that about? And why has she been basically attached to your damn hip ever since?”
Steve abruptly halts his steps, “it’s a long fucking story. I’ll explain another day, but right now I need to find that little fuck head,” he growls and pushes passed his friends, flinging the door open, and stomping out into the house in search of Fuck Head #2.
“Steve!” Hilde and Nat shout at the same time.
“Wait. Hold up dude,” Sam yells after him.
“Punk, he isn’t worth it!” Bucky yells as he and Sam try to catch up to him.
But Steve just ignores them all and halts at the entrance to the kitchen, seeing Brock standing with his friends by the fridge.
He storms over there and grabs him by his arm, yanking him towards the patio door, which he then pulls open and shoves Brock through. Ignoring all the looks from the others in the kitchen as he steps outside then promptly slams the door behind him.
“What did I fucking tell you, Brock? Huh?” He seethes as he shoves the smaller guy.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Steve?” Brock fakes ignorance and it takes everything in Steve to not beat his ass right this fucking second.
“Don’t play fucking dumb with me, you know exactly what, and who, I’m talking about.”
“I did,” he confirms, “since your taking Madi to prom, I figured she was fair game now.”
“How the fuck—“ Steve stammers, taken aback for a moment, then it clicks, “You helped her plan this all out, didn’t you?!”
He shrugs, “it was her idea, I just went along for the ride. If you know what I mean,” he winks at Steve.
“You mother fucker,” Steve surges forward but Bucky and Sam stop him before he can reach Brock. Both putting themselves between Steve and Fuck Head #2.
“Pal, stop. Think about this,” Bucky says with his hands up.
“You gotta calm down, big guy,” Sam adds.
He takes a deep breath and pushes back from his two friends, “get the fuck off me.” He glares at them, then focuses back on Brock and points at him, “you tell her you can’t take her to prom anymore. And if you even so much as look at her, I swear to God, Brock, I’ll kick your fucking teeth in. And no one, not even Y/N, will be able to stop me. You got it?”
“Sure thing, Cap,” he pops the P for effect, and salutes him, “I hear ya loud and clear,” he smirks. “Now, shouldn’t you be getting back to your date?”
“You son of a—“ he goes to charge at Brock again, but Bucky and Sam are still standing between them and they both stop Steve and force him to head back into the house. Shoving him through the door and into the kitchen.
“Pal, you have to calm down,” Bucky says as he goes to grab Steve’s arm to continue pulling him away from the outside door. Clearly he thinks Steve is a flight risk still, which is true as fuck. It is taking everything in Steve right now to not storm back out on to that fucking deck and throwing Brock the fuck off it.
“Fuck off, Barnes,” he yanks his arm out of Bucky’s grasp and storms back in to the living room in search of Y/N. He has to talk some sense into her. She can’t go to prom with that fucking piece of shit. He scans the room with his eyes but can’t see her anywhere, though he does see Wanda and Clint and heads towards them.
“Where’s Y/N?”
They turn to him, and Wanda is just about to say something, but pauses, clearly noticing he is not in a good mood, at all. She frowns, “I honestly don’t know. I’ve been texting her but she isn’t responding.”
“Fuck,” he looks around again, but still doesn’t see her anywhere. “Tell me as soon as you locate her, okay?”
Wanda and Clint nod, the former saying, “of course.”
Then he goes off to search for her, he’ll check this whole damn house if he has to. But luckily for him, his phone buzzes not even 10 minutes later and he sees it’s a text from Wanda, ‘She’s okay, she just went home.’
“Thank God,” he sighs, he had been so worried something bad had happened to her. But before he can even give that anymore thought his phone buzzes again, and this time it’s from Y/N.
He quickly opens the text to see, ‘Happy Birthday, Stevie. I hope you had a wonderful day! And goodnight <3’
A smile breaks out on his face, and he goes to respond like he always does, but just as his fingers go to start typing he remembers his fucking deal with Madeleine. And before he can even think about it he chucks his phone at the wall in a final fit of rage, shattering it into pieces.
“Fuck!” He yells and slumps against the wall, lowering himself down to sit. Then pulls his knees up into his chest as his head slumps forward, resting on his forearms between his knees. This had been by far the worst birthday he’d ever had. And he knew that the next two weeks were going to be absolute fucking hell without Y/N.
And he wasn’t wrong about that, the next two weeks were two of the worst weeks of his life, hands down. Seeing her damn near daily, and not being able to so much as talk to her. It was sheer hell and all he could do was utter over, and over again in his head ‘it’s just 2 weeks, just two little weeks and then you can beg for her forgiveness and promise to spend every day for the rest of his life making it up to her.’
She’d tried multiple times to talk to him, or track him down, and every time it crushed him even more. Having his parents lie and say he wasn’t home. Having to brush her off in person and seeing the hurt look on her face when he did. And then having to ignore all her calls and texts.
The Monday after the party was by far one of the worst moments though, not being able to pick her up in the morning, or even being able to give her a heads up that he wouldn’t be picking her up.
Bucky had scolded him as he told him she was late that day, which only made him feel like more of a fucking asshole. He ended up just avoiding his friends during those weeks as well, as they kept asking what had happened, and what was wrong. And lying to them was not easy, at all. And would only make matters worse in the end.
But the cherry on top of all of this, was him not being able to text her ‘goodnight’, like he had, damn near every night during their almost 2 years of friendship.
Yeah that, hands down, hurt him the most…
July 2018 - Present.
He shakes his head and focuses back on the present, seeing that Brock has now caged Y/N in between himself and the bar, and just as he approaches them he hears Y/N say, “can you back the fuck up.”
But Brock just ignores her and says, “you’re more feisty then I remember,” and then leans in to whisper something Steve can’t quite hear, but can assume was something wildly inappropriate.
And just that thought alone makes Steve want to beat the fuck out of this asshole all over again.
“I believe she asked you to step away from her,” he growls.
Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.
Catch up HERE.
Word Count: 4,940 ish.
Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.
A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.
January 2018.
Steve found himself sitting in his squad car, thermos of coffee in hand, waiting once again on his lifelong best friend, his brother, his partner of 5 years, to hurry the hell up and get in the damn car.
Every morning Steve would get up at the crack of dawn, go for a run, shower then get dressed in his uniform. He’d attach his badge to the pocket on the front of his dark blue, near black, shirt. Then head downstairs to make coffee. Once he had his to go cup all filled and his shiny black shoes on, he’d go outside, hop in his squad car and drive over to Bucky’s to pick him up. And every morning Bucky would come barrelling out of his house, 10 fucking minutes late, with his shirt untucked and only buttoned up half way. It was like clockwork.
And this morning was no different. Scratch that. It was worse, actually. Steve glanced down at his watch then sighed. Buck was now 15 minutes late. So Steve honked the car horn, hoping it would hurry him up. And it had clearly worked, as the front door flung open and out stumbled Bucky, pulling on his police shirt as he did. He was only in his socks, as his shoes were held in one hand, while he ran across the frost covered front lawn and jumped into the passenger seat. Shit eating grin gracing his cleanly shaved face.
“You’re late,” Steve sighed as he put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb.
“Not by much,” Buck replied nonchalantly as he buttoned up his shirt, and lifted his butt off the seat in an attempt to tuck it into his pants.
“Dude, late is late. Doesn’t matter how much.”
“Sure, okay. I’ll give you that one,” he said as he pulled on his shoes and quickly tied them up then sat back up in his seat and put on his seatbelt. “But, I have a valid reason for being late today.”
Steve could see Bucky’s stupid smirk in the corner of his eye, it was impossible to miss. He sighed again then shook his head, “You always have an excuse, Barnes.”
“No, but this time I actually do.”
Steve took his eyes off the road, for just a second, to glance over at his best friend, raising an ‘I’m sure you do’ eyebrow at him. Then turning to focus his eyes back on the road, “well, let’s hear it then.”
“You’ll never guess who RSVP’d to the wedding.”
“What does a wedding guest have to do with you being late?”
“Because the RSVP came in last night but we only got it this morning. Nat was too excited and needed to talk about it. This is big, Steve.” He shook his head, “No, bigger than big. This is fucking huge!”
They were now sitting at a red light, which was lucky for them, as Steve’s head involuntarily snapped over to look at Bucky. “No,” he said slowly, “Are you talking about who I think you’re talking about?” He gapped at his friend.
Bucky over eagerly nodded his head, “Fucking Y/N Y/L/N. I shit you not.”
Steve slowly turned his head back to the road, realizing the light was now green. Not entirely sure how long it had been green, but that was the last thing on his mind right about now. Y/N consumed every one of his thoughts in this exact moment. Though, if he was being honest, she was always a constant thought in his mind, all throughout the years.
He just nodded his head, a little to aggressively but he wasn’t exactly all there at the moment. Even after 6 ½ years he missed her like she had only left yesterday. Like it was still a fresh wound that was in the beginning stages of healing. But true guilt does that to you, it sticks with you forever, like a rain cloud looming over you, even on the sunniest of days. But it wasn’t just guilt he dealt with over the years. Yes, guilt was a part of it, but it was also barely even a blip on the radar of all the other emotions he had felt since that awful night…
July 2011 - 6 ½ years ago.
He just stood there, dumbfounded and frozen, watching as she stormed off. Their fight playing over and over again in his head. Or more specifically, the 3 little words she had uttered before she walked away. ‘He’s all yours.’
He couldn’t move. Couldn’t even comprehend how he was feeling in this exact moment. That’s the last thing he had ever wanted, the polar opposite, actually.
Half way through their fight he had decided to say ‘fuck it’ to Madeleines ultimatum and just tell Y/N the truth. The whole truth, including why he had taken Madi to prom, instead of taking her like he had originally planned to do.
He had loved Y/N from basically the first moment he met her. When he had slammed into her in the hall, knocking her and their books to the floor, that first day of grade 11. Which was also her first day at his school. They had both quickly started to collect their books and straight up head butted each other. It wasn’t pretty, but when he finally looked up at her to apologize, he found himself speechless at just how pretty she was—
Bucky’s hand on his shoulder snapped him back to reality, and everything that had just happened hit him like a freight train. He shrugged off his best friends hand and spun around on Madeleine, anger coursing through him. She was still standing near him, arms crossed and a smug smirk on her lips. That only pissed him off more.
“We aren’t fucking dating anymore!” He snapped at her, effectively removing the smirk from her face, “And you fucking know that Madi. You only said that to hurt her, and that’s one of the many reasons why I’ll never take you back.”
“Oh, so you’d pick that fucking loser over me?” She scoffed and stepped closer to him. “I’m the fucking cheer captain and the most popular girl in school, Steve.” She reached out to touch his arm, “And you’re better than her. You’re the captain of the football team, you should still be with me! She’s a nobody—a loner. She’s nothing compared to me.”
“You’re wrong,” He ripped his arm away and glared down at her. “You’re the nobody, Madi, and you’re nothing compared to her! She will always be better than you, she is kind, compassionate and beautiful, both inside and out.” He shook his head, “All things you aren’t. And never will be. You’re a bully, and a horrible fucking person. And I regret ever dating you. Let alone letting you blackmail me into taking you to prom.”
He knew he was probably going too far saying all this. And normally he would go out of his way to never deliberately hurt someone, especially someone so clearly as self conscious as Madeleine was. But he was far too pissed right now to actually care. And he was well passed the point of giving a fuck how Madi felt. She had always been a fucking bitch to Y/N, and he had only stayed friends with her for the sole purpose of being able to wrangle her in, and lessen the blows to Y/N. He had to interfere damn near daily, though Y/N never knew any of that. She only knew the few times he hadn’t been able to step in, before Madi got to her.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that!?”
“Oh, I duno, Madi. Maybe the same fucking guy you just finished saying should still be dating you?” He laughed, though there was no humour in it then shook his head. “I only stayed friends with you for Y/N’s sake. But I’m done with that now. I’m done with you. Tonight was the last fucking straw, Madeleine. I don’t want anything to do with you, ever again. And just so we’re clear, as obviously you’re a little dense, that means don’t talk to me. Don’t wave at me on the street. Don’t even fucking look at me.” He went to turn away then stopped, “Oh, and lose my fucking number.” Then with that he spun around and stormed off towards his jeep. Hearing Sam yell, “Oh! Fucking mic drop!” as he did.
He had refused to have a single drop to drink all night, as he wasn’t a big drinker to begin with, but the second he saw Y/N walk into the prom on Brock’s arm, he decided to stay completely sober. Just incase. Brock wasn’t a good dude, he was a piece of shit actually. One that treated women like objects, and there were a lot of rumours, ones of him forcing himself on drunk girls at parties. Steve was not about to let Brock pull that shit with Y/N, not on his fucking watch, not with his fucking girl—Granted, she wasn’t actually his, but like hell if he’d let anyone else have her. No one deserved her, not even him. She was to good for anyone in their school. Hell, she was to good for anyone in this town.
As if it was fate, or just sheer luck, on the way to his jeep he saw Brock standing just off to the side. Watching everything that had just unfolded with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. As Steve approached where Brock was, he reached out and shoved him back as hard as he could. Knocking Brock down on his ass, as he continued on to his jeep. The action didn’t even slow Steves steps in the slightest. “Keep your fucking hands to yourself tonight Brock, or I’ll finish what I started earlier,” he warned.
“Steve,” He heard his best friend yell as fast footsteps chased after him, “Wait up!”
But he didn’t stop, he needed to go talk to Y/N. Tell her the truth, the whole truth.
He reached his jeep and went to open the drivers door but a hand landed on it, stopping it about an inch from the car, then slamming it shut again.
“Get out of my way, Buck!” He spat as he turned to glare at his best friend.
“Not until you tell me what the fuck that was back there,” he gestured with his thumb, back towards where they had both just come from.
“Not now, Bucky. I have to go talk to Y/N.”
Just then Nat, Sam, Wanda, Hilde and Clint all ran up to the pair. “Where’s Y/N?!” Clint asked as he looked around.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Nat asked as she looked between Bucky and Steve.
Steve groaned loudly, “Guys, I don’t have fucking time for this right now!”
“Then make the fucking time,” Brunnhilde spat back at him as she crossed her arms.
He shook his head, “Not now, I have to go talk to Y/N.”
“Oh yeah? And what are you going to say to her?” Bucky questioned.
“The truth. All of it.”
“What?!” Sam gaped at him, “Actually?!” He looked around at their friends, clearly to see if anyone else had heard the same thing he just did. Or, if they were just as shocked by it as he was.
All of them knew how Steve felt about Y/N, they told him all the time to just tell her, but Steve always so damn stubborn and responded the same way every time. Either, ‘Now isn’t really a good time’ or ‘I will when I’m ready’—But the truth was, he never felt good enough for her.
He was terrified that if he did tell her the truth, and she didn’t feel the same way, it would ruin what they had; their friendship. And not having her in any capacity was not an option. He’d rather them just be best friends, rather than to not have her in his life at all. And even though his friends never believed his excuses, they had never, and would never, have gone behind his back and told her. Trust was big to all of them, and they knew Steve would tell her himself, one day, when he was ready—Though, most of them had lost faith, a long time ago, in him ever being truly ‘ready’.
“Yes,” Steve sighed, “Actually.”
“Although it’s about damn fucking time, punk,” Bucky laughed, “She passed me on her way out, and she was fucking pissed, pal. I mean pissed,” he emphasized. “She didn’t even look at me, I don’t think she even noticed me standin—“
Nat cut him off and glared at him, “What Bucky is trying to get to, is, we’ve never seen her that mad before,” she turned to look at Wanda, who nodded then spoke up for the first time since they had all got to his jeep. “Yeah, and if you go there right now, it will just end up in a bigger fight.”
“Much bigger fight,” Hilde emphasized.
The four girls were like one entity most of the time. They always sided with each other and were like a damn tag team. If you were ever on the receiving end of something they felt strongly about, you’d better be prepared to fucking lose. Because they would not back down, and they would have you ‘seeing it their way’ in no time—It was fucking infuriating.
“Yeah, the ladies have a point,” Clint added as he nodded. He usually always sided with the girls, Steve figured it was because he was terrified of them. Of being on the receiving end of their anger. They were like wolves, they travelled in a little pack and ‘attacked’ together. The boys had actually nicknamed them exactly that. ‘The wolf pack’. The nickname started about 3 months after Y/N had joined their little group, and the girls had first started teaming up together against the boys.
“Steve, seriously man, she isn’t going anywhere. Just give her the night to cool off then go talk to her tomorrow. Once you’ve both had a chance to think more clearly,” Sam tried to reason.
But there was no reasoning with Steve right now. However, he was smart enough to know they wouldn’t back down, so he’d have to lie. Which he didn’t like doing, but it was the only way he’d be able to get away from them, to get to her.
He sighed, “Yeah, I suppose that’s the smartest idea,” he reached for his drivers door handle. “I’ll ah, I’ll talk to you guys later, I just want to be alone right now. I. I need to clear my head.”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at him, most likely trying to judge if he was lying or not. Steve just stood there, unwavering, with a blank expression on his face. Hoping that Buck wouldn’t see through his deception.
After a few seconds, Bucky sighed then went to step back from the door, but paused mid step and put both his hands on Steve’s shoulders, “If I hear you went over there, punk—Which I will, don’t doubt that for a second,” he looked him dead in the eyes, “I’ll fucking kick your ass, for her.”
It took everything in Steve not to burst out laughing right then and there. Buck would never actually hurt Steve, they always fought side by side, not against—Though that’s not to say they had never come to blows, because they had, and a few times at that. Just as most teenage boys did, over this, that or the other. All things that neither of them could even remember after a few punches. Things that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme, but had pissed one of them off enough to start throwing fists around. But they all ended the same way, instant surrender. Be it from either below one of them, or from within a headlock given by one of them. It really just depended on who had originally started the fight, who was actually mad, in those moments.
“Got it, jerk,” he patted his best friend on the shoulder, “I’ll leave her be for tonight.” It was another lie, but he’d happily take the consequences of it later. If it came down to that.
Buck smirked, obviously proud with himself then actually stepped aside this time. Steve opened the door to his jeep and climbed in, starting up the engine once he was. His friends all said some form of goodbye or waved. He waved in return then put the jeep in reverse and backed out of the spot.
A few minutes later he pulled up in front of her house, putting the jeep in park as he killed the engine and climbed out. He walked the same route he had hundreds of times before, going around the back of the house to climb up onto the roof; the one between the first and second floors. Getting up on the roof wasn’t hard for him, he was abnormally tall for a high schooler, or as she put it a ‘fucking giant’—Which was a new thing for him, he used to always be the smallest in his grades, at least during elementary school. But then the summer before high school he hit an insane growth spurt and shot up like a weed, plus bulked out. No one even recognized him at first, as he’d been away that whole summer. ‘Returning looking like a damn linebacker’, as Sam had said. But he still wasn’t ‘roof height’ tall, so luckily for him there was also a back deck with a wood railing, giving him that little extra oomph that he needed to actually reach the roof. He hoisted himself up and made his way towards her window. Just like every other time.
Except this time was different. He went to pull the window up and—nothing happened. That, was a first for him. It was locked. She never locked it. He didn’t even know it had a lock. He knocked lightly on the window but didn’t see any movement inside. He cupped his hands on the glass, and peered in to look a little closer, but saw her bed was empty and still made up.
“Where is she?” He mumbled out loud to himself. And then made his way back off the roof and around the house. Yes, he was currently being a fucking creep, but he needed to talk to her. He walked up onto the front porch and looked into the living room window. His eyes landing on her curled up on the couch, passed out. He just stood there, trying to decide if he should knock on the door or not. She looked so peaceful, which was surprising after the night she’d had. She could never sleep after a bad day, or night. At least not without venting to him about it first.
He sighed. Realizing he couldn’t bring himself to actually wake her up now. He hung his head and then spun on his heels, heading back to his vehicle. He climbed in and pulled out his phone, opening their text window. He started to type a message to her but then quickly erased it. Only to do the same thing over, a few more times.
He groaned in frustration. She had been right, he had ignored her for almost two weeks. But it was hands down the hardest thing he had ever had to do. If only she knew just how many times he had found himself in this exact spot. Staring at their text window, typing something up to then delete it entirely before ever sending it. If only he had told her before, told her the truth earlier. Or if he had found a way to tell her 2 weeks ago, when Madeleine had first approached him. Then maybe none of this would be happening right now.
His thumbs moved quickly over the screen, typing ‘Y/N, I know I said it already but I really mean it. I’m so, so sorry. Please just give me a chance to explain everything. To tell you the truth. That’s all I ask.’ Then he hit send, then quickly typed another message, ‘So, just text me when you wake up. I’ll bring over breakfast and we can talk, okay?’ He hit send again, then looked back up at her house for a moment, before starting up his jeep and heading home.
He got home and stomped up the stairs to his room, completely ignoring his parents asking him how the night was. He walked into his room and slammed the door.
“That fucking good,” he said aloud to himself then kicked off his shoes, and stripped down to his boxers.
He dropped himself unceremoniously down onto his bed backwards, one arm went behind his head and the other clutched his phone on his chest. Sleep didn’t come easily for Steve that night. He tossed and turned the whole time, any little noise waking him up and he’d check his phone each time, hoping to have a text from her. Only to find a few from his friends but that was it.
He woke up a little later then normal—for him, obviously his horrible sleep had affected him—and instantly started trying to reach Y/N again. He called a bunch of times and texted even more, but to no avail. So he texted Nat to ask what he should do now, and if he should go to her house or not. Nat replied telling him it was probably best if he just waited till she responded. That maybe she just needed a little time and space, and to give her that. He sighed then hopped in a cold shower, taking a little longer than usual, but he really needed the wake up.
Once he was done he got into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, as he desperately needed his morning run. Steve ran every morning, no matter where he was in the world, or how tired he was. Running was his release, the fastest way for him to clear his head. His personal stress relief. He decided it would be best to just leave his phone at home this time. That way he would give her some time without his constant pestering.
So 2 hours later—normally his runs weren’t ever that long, but clearly he needed it today, as he was way more stressed out then normal—He walked in his front door and headed upstairs, taking the steps two or three at a time. He grabbed his phone off his bed and—still nothing from her.
“Fuck this,” he mumbled to himself then ran back down the stairs and out to his jeep. He climbed in and headed to her house, once again.
He quickly pulled up to the curb out front of her place, barely getting the car in park before he jumped out. Then ran up her front steps and knocked on the door, but after a few minutes of no one answering he knocked again. Still no answer. He stepped back and looked around, seeing her dad’s truck was gone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit the ‘1’ on this keypad, then hit call. Yes, she was the first number on his speed dial list. She had actually bumped Bucky out of that spot within mere weeks of them becoming friends, but he’d never tell Buck that.
He put the phone to his ear—but it didn’t ring. It didn’t even go to voicemail. Some random ladies voice told him the call couldn’t be completed. He pulled the phone away from his ear and glared down at it. Then tried to call her again. Same outcome. He tried a few more times, but they all ended the same way. He sat down on the top step of her porch, he was going to sit here till she got home. He was going to talk to her, whether she wanted to or not.
An hour went by and neither her nor her dad came home. He finally picked himself up off the top step and walked back to his jeep. He climbed in and stared up at her house, just like he had the night before, then he put the jeep in drive and drove home.
It wouldn’t be till later that night that he’d finally learn where she was this morning. After attempting the whole day to reach her, but neither his calls nor texts would go through.
So when all 6 of his friends showed up at his front door, frowns plastered on all their faces. He knew it was going to be bad. They’d told him then that she had left for the summer, gone to Boston to stay with her Aunt Carol. And that the reason he couldn’t reach her was because she didn’t want to talk to him, not yet at least. And to just give her time.
He wanted to chase after her, to get in his jeep and drive the 11 hours up to Boston, but he had no clue where Carol lived, nor was he able to ask Y/N for the address. So instead he listened to his friends finally and gave her some actual space. Not like he actually had a fucking choice.
But then days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. Yet, even after all that time, she was still a regular occurrence in his mind. Like she had permanently set up shop in his head and no matter how much he tried to move on, or forget her, he just couldn’t. She always remained, like there was no one else in the world. And maybe for him, there wasn’t. Maybe she was it for him, and he had just let her slip away.
January 2018.
“Hello,” Bucks hand waved in front of Steve’s face, “earth to Steve.”
“Huh?,” He shook his head and turned to his best friend, “Sorry, what were you saying?”
“Jesus christ, punk.” It was Bucky’s turn to shake his head now, but for totally different reasons. “You have been zoned the fuck out for like 5 minutes now.”
Steve furrowed his brows then looked around, they were now parked outside of the police station. Clearly Steve had gone full auto pilot, and somehow managed to get them to work in one piece. “5 minutes?” He asked.
“Yeah,” Bucky looked at him weirdly, “5 minutes since we parked, but more like 10 all together.”
“Shit,” Steve sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“You would have been if you’d killed me,” he joked then went serious again, “Why is it every time someone mentions her, you straight up go into limp mode?”
Steve scoffed, “I do not.”
“Yeah, you do,” he shook his head again, “Every. Fucking. Time,” he emphasized for effect.
“First off, I don’t. And furthermore, shut up and get out of the car, jerk. We’re already late enough thanks to your slow ass,” he said as he opened his door, climbed out then shut it and headed towards the building.
Bucky climbed out of the car as well, “You can deny it all you want, but you do. It’s a fact.” He caught up to Steve and walked beside him, “And I’m not slow, I told you why I was late. You know how Nat is. Whatever she wants, she gets, and this morning that was to talk about,” he paused, and Steve saw in the corner of his eye as Buck turned his head to look at him, a smirk on his face, as he slowly added, “Y/N.”
Steve froze, coming to a complete grinding halt in the middle of the walkway.
Which only caused Bucky to burst out laughing, “What did I tell ya! Fucking limp mode!” He put one hand on his stomach and the other on his knee as he bent over to laugh.
Steve just glared at him then reached over and shoved him, causing Bucky to damn near fall over, “Shut up, jerk.”
Bucky quickly regained his balance and stood back up, “You’re just pissed that I’m right,” He dusted himself off, then scoffed, “and who even shoves people anymore?”
Steve just continued to glared at him for a moment then abruptly turned and headed towards the front doors of the station.
Bucky once again running to catch up to him, “she’s gonna be here in 6 months,” he said.
Steve ignored him and pulled open the door, not bothering to hold it for Bucky, and it damn near slammed into him.
“First off, rude. Secondly, you gonna finally tell her the truth?” Bucky asked.
And again, Steve just ignored him and headed over to his desk, politely greeting the few people he passed along the way. With Bucky following close behind.
“This is your chance pal, you gonna take it?” Buck asked, as they reached their side by side desks.
But Steve, once again, just ignored him.
He could feel Bucky glaring at him now, but he didn’t turn to him, or answer him. He just turned on his work computer and began his morning routine of logging on, and going through his emails.
“Are you seriously going to ignore me all day?” Bucky asked, clearly frustrated now.
Yet again, Steve just ignored him.
Bucky groaned dramatically then turned to start up his own computer, “This is gonna be a long fucking day.”
Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.
Catch up HERE.
Word Count: 3,740 ish.
Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.
A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.
July 2018 - Present.
“Isn’t that Mr. Y/L/N’s truck?” Steve asked from the driver's seat of his patrol car, as it sat parked on the side of the road. It was Bucky and Steve's turn to patrol the streets, and as it took about 30 minutes to get anywhere in town, they always went together. Saved unnecessary wasted fuel if they both needed to attend a call, and it made the longer stretches between calls way less boring.
“You mean Y/N’s dads truck?” Bucky smirked, still looking forward out the front windshield. Steve turned to glare at him, noticing Bucky’s smirk instantly drop from his face, as if it had been smacked off. Only to then be replaced by a prominent frown, as his eyes narrowed slightly. “Okay, I admit, that was low. But yes, that is Mr. Y/L/N’s truck, and it just blew that stop sign,” he pointed at it.
Steve's eyes snapped ahead as the truck was just exiting the intersection. “Shit,” he sighed then pulled away from the curb and flicked on his lights. He was just going to pull him over and give him a warning, then let him go on his way, no ticket needed. The truck instantly pulled over to the side and the engine cut. Steve pulled up behind it and put the squad car in park. “I got this one, Barnes,” he said then he opened his door.
“Mhmm. I know. Just like every other time we’ve pulled him over,” he smirked.
“Oh yeah, just like how you always handle Nat’s aunt?” He countered as he climbed out.
“That’s different, Nat’s aunt will be my family in 6 days. You know, because Nat and I are actually getting married,” he retorted excitedly, but then his eyes widened and he slapped a hand over his mouth.
“Wow. Low blow, jerk,” Steve shook his head then slammed the door.
“Fuck, you know I didn’t mean it like that!” Bucky yelled through the open passenger window at him. But he just ignored him and walked along the side of the truck, tapping the back of it as he did. And just before he reached the window he started to speak, “How’s it going today, Mr—“ but the words abruptly caught in his throat, as he came face to face with who was actually driving the truck. Y/N.
He froze, and the look on her face probably mirrored his perfectly. It was one of shock, discomfort and …relief? They both just stayed silent, for what felt like hours but was probably only mere seconds, then she broke the looming silence. “Ah, is there a problem, Officer?”
And hearing her voice for the first time in 7 years made an involuntary smile break out across his face. Well that, mixed with actually seeing her right in front of him, in the flesh. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more. And he lost himself slightly in just looking over her face, taking in every detail like he’d never see her again after this exact moment, so he had to memorize it, entirely. Much like he did the first time he ever saw her..
September 2009 - 9 years ago.
It was the first day of grade 11, Steve had spend the whole summer travelling Europe with his adoptive parents and his two brothers. An older brother Tony, and a younger brother Peter.
When Steve was just a baby his father was killed while away overseas, on a deployment, leaving just his mother and him on their own. Which from the little bits he could remember wasn’t so bad, Sarah was an amazing woman, and mother, but whenever Steve did have troubles remembering her, Maria would fill in the blanks for him. As Maria and Sarah had been best friends since childhood, Sarah had named them Steves Godparents when he was born. So when Sarah got ill, then sadly passed away, Maria and Howard stepped up to take Steve in. And then a few short months later the adoption was finalized, and Steve became a Stark. Though they did make his original last name, being Rogers, into a second middle name. Just so he would never forget where he came from, or the beautiful woman who had brought him into this world, and had mothered him in the beginning.
Tony was the only son Howard and Maria had parented themselves, he was a year older then Steve but they had always gotten along like brothers. They’d fight, and razz each other, but when push came to shove they always had each others backs. No one messed with the Stark boys, that’s for sure.
And the same went for Peter, the baby of the family. He was also adopted by Howard and Maria, when his parents had died and there were no living relatives to take him. He was 4 years younger then Steve, so they—Steve and Tony—always looked out for him. Just like they would had he been their flesh and blood brother. But who were they kidding, blood meant nothing to them. They were all true brothers in their own eyes, and a little thing like DNA wasn’t going to tell them otherwise.
So Steve had loved the summer away with his family, with his brothers, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t also super glad to be back home with his friends. Back to his normal life.
He’d arrived home two days before classes started, but the jet leg had kicked his ass, so he’d spend those two days relaxing in bed and catching up on sleep, knowing that he’d get to catch up with all his friends at school.
Over the summer he wasn’t able to talk to them often, either due to the time differences or the ridiculous roaming charges. But they all kept in touch here and there, though the conversations were short and sweet. His friends knew this was what his family did every summer, and they were all used to the limited contact during his trips.
So here he was, meeting Bucky and Sam in the student parking lot, on the first day of grade 11. The guys shared a couple warm welcome home hugs, then headed into the building to start making their way towards their lockers. Chatting about Steves trip the whole way in.
Soon enough they were in the school, walking the familiar hallways, just like every year before. Stopping to quickly chat and catch up with the odd friends, and losing Sam along the way to some cute girl, saying he’d find them later. So eventually Steve and Buck made it to right around the corner from their lockers.
But then a girl called out Steves name, and he turned around to greet her, Bucky however just continued walking.
“I’ll catch up in a second,” Steve said to his best friend who nodded in response. Bucky never liked Kiara, and Nat never liked him talking to her, so he avoided her like the plague.
After chatting quickly about what they both did over the summer, they said their goodbyes then Steve turned around to continue his mission at hand. However, just as he rounded the corner he slammed right into a smaller form. A way smaller form.
“Oof,” she said as she tumbled back and landed on her butt. Dropping her things all over the hallway, Steves stuff joining hers on the floor.
“Oh fuck,” Steve quickly crouched down to start cleaning up their scattered things, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you.”
“It’s okay. I’m pretty used to that,” she said as she shifted from sitting on her butt to sitting on her folded knees. They both began to collect up their own belongings and then Steve noticed one of his things next to her. He shifted forward to grab it but just as he did, she shifted forwards as well and they straight up head butted each other.
“Fuck,” he groaned.
“Shit,” she mumbled as she pulled back and rubbed her forehead, “I’m sorry, that was my bad this time. I totally bobbed when you weaved. Not a good combo.” She laughed, and the sound caused him to pause and finally look up at her, he hadn’t really paid much attention to her up until this point. She sat there, on her knees, rubbing her forehead where their noggins had collided, before she lowered her hand to finish collecting her things. And oh god, she was beautiful, his eyes roamed her face as if he was trying to etch it into his mind. He honestly wasn’t sure if he had ever seen anyone as pretty as her before, or maybe he had, but there was just something about this girl. Something in the air around her, he couldn’t quite place it, but he had this instant urge to want to know her, to know everything about her. Though it felt more like a need, he needed to know everything about her. About this adorable creature with the massive goose—
“Oh god,” he gasped as he just stared at the goose egg rapidly forming on her head.
“What?” She asked confused, “Is there something on me face?” She brought her hand back up, as if touching her face would magically answer her question.
He shook his head then flinched slightly. “Not exactly,” he said just as her fingers made contact with the massive bump on her head.
“Ouch. Shit,” she hissed as she pulled her hand away from her head like it had burned her. Her eyes flicked up and locked onto his, “oh god, is it bad?”
He scrunched up his nose, “Not too bad.”
“Great. Just freaking great. My first day in a new school and I head butt a cute guy hard enough to cause a massive goose egg,” she huffed then grumbled, “That’s just my luck.”
She may not have noticed what she said, but he sure did. Clearly she had been checking him out as well. “Cute, huh?” He raised a questioning brow at her.
Which caused hers to furrow, “What?”
“You said you head butted a cute guy,” He looked around the hallway, eagerly. “So, where is he?”
He meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but the blank stare she gave him in return left him with the impression that she didn’t find it funny. And then his thoughts were instantly confirmed when her cheeks turned bright red, and she quickly looked away. “Okay, well, now that that’s over, I’m ah, I’m gonna go and,” she grabbed her stuff and abruptly stood up, “hide myself in a broom closet, or something.”
Steve grabbed his things then stood up as well. And once he reached his full height she looked up at him and her eyes widened. “Jesus christ, you’re a fucking giant,” she mumbled then looked down at her feet.
“I get called tall a lot, but I can’t say I’ve ever been called a ‘fucking giant’ before,” he laughed, “And fyi, a broom closet won’t help with your goose egg, you should really put some ice on that. It will help bring down the swelling.”
“Oh,” she looked back up at him, “the broom closet wasn’t for the,” she paused then waved a hand dismissively, “You know what, not important. Ice, ice is important.” She nodded then looked around. As if she was trying to figure out where she was. Or where she was suppose to go.
He smirked then leaned down just a bit to whisper, “You can get ice from the office.”
“Right. The office,” she nodded.
“You do know where the office is, right?”
“Of course,” she said confidently. “I’ll ah, see you around,” she turned on her heel and began to walk away. In the polar opposite direction of the office.
“Wrong way,” he shouted at her, causing her to freeze then slowly turn around to face him.
“Right, it’s that way,” she pointed in the direction behind him, opposite from where she was just heading.
“That it is,” he nodded, biting the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing. “You sure you don’t need me to walk you there?” He asked, amusedly.
“No, no,” she shook her head, “I’m all set now, thanks though.” She navy saluted him then walked passed him. He turned once she had and just watched her quickly walk away, before shaking his head and releasing the laugh he’d been holding in, as he headed to meet Bucky at their side by side lockers.
“Buck, who’s the new girl?” He asked as he approached his friend.
“Who?” Bucky asked as he looked around, “where?”
“No, she isn’t here. I’m just curious if you know who the new girl in school is?”
Bucky looked confused, “You mean Y/N?”
“Is that her name, Y/N?”
“I mean, I think she’s the only new girl in school. So, I guess?” He shrugged.
They both put their bags away then grabbed the stuff they’d need for their first block. As they headed down the hall towards their class, Steves mind kept drifting back to the new girl, and before he could stop himself the words left his mouth, “so, how did you meet, Y/N?”
“You really took a shine to her, hey?” Bucky smirked.
Steve scoffed, “No,” then shrugged, “I’m just curious, is all. We don’t get many new students here.”
“Right,” Bucky dragged the word out. Clearly not buying any of Steves shit. “Wanda introduced us all to her at the beginning of summer break. I guess they met when Mrs. Maximoff went to go welcome them to town. Her dad bought the old Lloyd house and Renchie’s.”
“What? Really? I didn’t even know Renchie’s was up for sale.”
“Yeah, I guess Donald wanted to retire,” Bucky shrugged, “But anyway, Y/N’s chill. She hung out with us all summer and everyone adores her. I swear Nat spends more time with her now then with me.” He paused then deadpanned, “No seriously, it’s becoming a problem for me.”
Steve laughed and shook his head, “If you need me to run interference, just ask.”
Buck turned to him, eyes wide, “Would you actually?”
“For you?” He slung his arm over Bucky’s shoulders, “I’d play interference with a cute girl, any day,” he laughed.
“See, I know you’d taken a shine to her!” Bucky laughed as well.
“No comment,” Steve shrugged.
July 2018 - Present.
“Steve?” She asked hesitantly, one brow raised.
“Ah, yeah, sorry,” he shook his head. “I ah, I pulled you over because you actually ran the stop sign back there,” he pointed to the sign.
“What?” She whipped her head around and looked out the window at where he was pointing. “There’s a stop sign there now? Since when?”
“Ah, about 5 years now,” he pressed his lips together to prevent himself from laughing. “Have you been drinking at all today, Y/N?”
She glared up at him for a moment, probably trying to figure out if he was fucking with her or not, then she burst out laughing. “Oh come on, you think I can’t tell when you’re messing with me. Even after 7 years, I can still read your ass like a damn book,” she rolled her eyes.
He chuckled and shook his head, “It was an honest question, you did just run a blatantly obvious stop sign. I mean, there isn’t even any trees around it. And there is nothing hiding it, in any way.”
She scrunched up her nose, “Ah, yeah, about that,” she trailed off as a blush took over her face.
His smile faded, “Please tell me you weren’t texting and driving,” he paused for effect, “again.”
“I mean, I wasn’t texting, exactly,” she gestured both hands around as she talked. Which was always a sign she had done something wrong or was nervous about something. “It was more like reading and driving. There was no texting on my part.”
He sighed and shook his head again, “Y/N, you know you aren’t allowed to ‘read’ and drive. And furthermore, you were a horrible driver as a teen, and I can almost bet you haven’t gotten much better over the years. You need less distractions while driving, not more.”
“Hey!” She scolded, “I wasn’t that bad!” He just stared at her. “Okay, I wasn’t that good either. But I have gotten better over the years. I swear.” He just continued to stared at her, raising a brow as he did. She sighed, “fine, that’s a lie. I still suck at driving.” She hung her head, though he knew she was just playing it up.
“The first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one.”
She looked back up at him, “Are you gonna haul me off to jail?”
He snorted, “you’re still just as dramatic as always, I see.” He shook his head, “And no, I’m not going to ‘haul you off to jail’. You ran a stop sign, Y/N. The worst I can do to you is scold you and hand you a ticket.”
“Scold me?” She cringed, “can I opt for jail time instead? Is that a thing I can do? Because a Steve Stark scolding is no joke.”
He rolled his eyes, “No, you can’t ‘opt’ for jail time instead.”
“So then are you going to give me a ticket?” She asked hesitantly.
“I probably should,” he paused, “but we both know that won’t stop you from texting and driving—“
“Reading,” she corrected. And he glared at her in warning. “Sorry. Sorry,” she quietly said as she raised her hands in surrender.
“As I was saying,” he shook his head for like the millionth time, “No, I’m not going to give you a ticket. But this is your only warning. If I ever pull you over for ‘reading’ and driving again, I’ll give you the most expensive ticket I can.”
“Shit,” she mumbled then nodded, “but okay, that’s fair.”
“Now, put your phone away and focus on the road, Y/N,” he scolded, somewhat playfully.
And she navy saluted him in return, “Yes sir!”
Causing him to sigh then pinch the bridge of his nose, “okay, you’re free to go.”
“Thank you, Officer,” she smiled.
“Don’t mention it.” And then he just stood there for a moment, not entirely ready to walk away from her just yet. Especially not after 7 years.
“Ah, Steve?” She asked slowly.
“Yeah?” He replied.
“I kinda can’t leave with you standing there. You know, me, bad driver,” she gestured to herself. “You, unsuspecting cop,” she gestured to him. “Probably not a good mix. What with my luck, I’d probably hit you. And I’m pretty sure I’d have to be given a ticket for that,” she laughed. Then cringed.
“Oh, right!” He quickly said then took a few large steps back, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t mention it,” she smirked then put the truck in drive and pulled away slowly. He watched as she did, then when she was half a block away he sighed and headed back to his patrol car. He quickly climbed in and shut the door, “way to tell me Y/N was back in town, jerk.”
“Like hell I was going to tell you that. Shit, the last time I even so much as said her name, you ignored me for an entire day.” Bucky shook his head, vehemently, “Nope, fuck that. I refused to spend the whole day stuck in a car with you, refusing to say a damn word to me.”
“You knew it was her in the truck, didn’t you?” He raised a brow at his best friend.
Bucky just stared at him for a moment, “I mean, I didn’t know for sure. But I knew there was a small chance that it might be her, yes,” he nodded slowly. And Steve just remained silent, staring at him. “Okay, maybe it was a little bigger then a ‘small chance’. Probably more like a solid hunch,” Buck corrected.
But Steve just continued to stay quiet, watching him. “Alright, fine. You got me. I was positive it was her, but only because her dad would have never ran that stop sign. So that was a pretty huge giveaway,” he shrugged, “I’m surprised you didn’t figure that out as well. Your losing your touch, pal.”
“You’re such a jerk,” Steve shook his head then put the patrol car in drive.
“You can call me whatever pet names you want, at least that means you’re talking to me.” Bucky chuckled then quickly turned more serious, “so wait, seeing her after all this time, how you feeling about that?”
Steve thought it over for a couple seconds, trying to figure out exactly how he felt about seeing her, but then he just answered honestly, “I still feel the same way about her that I did 7 years ago.”
Bucky smiled, “so you gonna finally tell her?”
Steve scrunched up his nose, “Now’s not really a good time.”
Bucky loudly groaned, “That’s what you always say.”
“But this time I actually mean it. She just got back into town, Buck. I don’t even know how long she is staying and I have no clue if she is seeing someone or not.”
“Okay, the first excuse is valid, you can keep that one. But let me set the record straight on the other two. One, her ticket is open ended, so she can stay as long as she wants, or leave whenever she wants. Two, she is single. Like RSVP’d by herself, single. And a little red birdie told me she hasn’t even had a serious relationship in years.”
“Oh,” Steve paused, “so she’s had serious relationships before?”
“Are you kidding me?” Bucky gaped at him, “out of everything I just said, that’s what you took away from it?”
“Just answer the question, Barnes.”
“Honestly,” he sighed, “I don’t think so. Or at least I have never heard of any. But I also can’t understand how a girl that pretty could stay single her whole damn life. That just boggles my mind.” He shook his head, “I mean, I know why she stayed single in high school, but you weren’t in Boston scaring all the guys away.” He paused then raised a brow, “Or were you?”
Steve huffed, “no, and I only scared away the fuckboys and the assholes.”
“So, basically every guy in our school then?” Bucky laughed.
Steve just shrugged as they continued down the road, “yeah. Basically.”
Summary: “You know,” Tony says finally, and Steve looks at him, eyebrow raised in expectation. “There's this new thing called talking, so if you ever need to...”
Pairing: Steve/Tony
Word Count: 6,513
Notes: Au in which Steve is defrosted in 1994 and becomes friends with teen Tony
Summary: Dying in a world with reincarnation is easy. Living in one is hard, because history inevitably follows you, and you can’t always decide what your legacy is.
You try to change history, but your Icarus only ever chooses the same thing he’s always chosen.
Hello! Can you recommend any angsty stony fics with Steve POV? Or any of your favorite stony fics with Steve POV?
not tons but some! these are all my favorite!!
LOVE ME A LITTLE, I ADORE YOU - 3k - l o v e
Steve marries Sharon, and Tony promptly cuts all ties with him.
Steve is determined to salvage their friendship and find out what’s wrong, and Tony is convinced Steve won’t like what he finds.
YOUR NAME ON EVERY WALL - 18k
The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he’s ever going to be able to mend things between them.
Love and Other Drugs - 43k
Steve hated the monotonous beeping of the heart monitor, the whoosh of the ventilator, and the drip, drip, dripping of the IV fluids. Is this what Tony’s life came down to now? Artificial noises in a bland room which smelled of antiseptic and misery? Is this what it came down to? After everything?
Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
And he was plugged into a machine in order to help him breathe.
Because he was in a coma.
Because he had swallowed an entire bottle of pills.
No one had noticed until someone needed him.
BEFORE I KNEW YOU - 8k
When Steve came out of the ice, he was stuck in a bed for weeks, unable to move and talk and everyone around him assumed he was unconscious. But he wasn’t, he was perfectly aware of everything going on around him, he heard everything the people around him said and very little of it made sense. Until a man came into his room by mistake and kept coming back to visit.
THE ROAD THROUGH OCTOBER COUNTRY - 2k
It’s a beautiful day in October, and Steve’s hiding behind the library, his knee bleeding, when he sees the boy for the first time. Tony makes Steve laugh, and his hands are as cold as ice, and he doesn’t leave footsteps in the mud. But in a cold graveyard after sunset, Tony asks Steve to make a choice that will change - or end - his life forever.
STAY WITH ME (HOME IS WHERE YOUR MIND IS) - 67k - meh
Where Steve doesn’t quite die, ends up stranded in the multiverse and would quite like to know how the hell so many versions of himself ended up sleeping with Tony Stark. Well, that’s going to make things a tad awkward when he gets home.
NOBODY PANIC, EVERYTHING IS FINE - 14k
Steve doesn’t get jealous. He doesn’t. Honestly.
It’s just…well- Tony’s been spending an awful lot of time with a new employee. Who’s smarter than him. And funnier. And more interesting and generally a better match for Tony than he ever would be.
