#stoned writing

[wordsacrossemptypages]

Preptober: Day 29

Today's assignment is to prepare your writing space and software or hardware. Today I was also out of the house for the day, getting my car a desperately needed oil change and other prep for the incoming winter, and spending it at my mom's house during the event.

So in exchange, tomorrow morning first thing, I'm going to clean up the house and my writing space, and tonight while blissfully under the influence I'm going to be going over my scrivener file and setting up the research and outline (as well as chapter plots and details).

My Successes: I can see the starting line much clearer now and there's not much to do. I am feeling confident that with some elbow grease tomorrow, winning Nanowrimo will be attainable.

My Struggles: Still haven't written that summary. Don't really care right now.

[shesapoet09]

It's like everytime I get high my mind attacks me

Once, breathing in the smoke lifted the weight off of my shoulders

But now it reminds me of the weight

The weight that I like to pretend isn't there

I guess I'm not ok.

3/17/20

[lyrronium]

i started to write reed900 smut in my 5th hour class today

and yes, i was high

[casperkahlo]

stoned thoughts 638.

I want him to touch my skin and slide his fingertips up my forearms and over my elbows and to my shoulders. Instead he wraps his palms up in my hair and pulls me down roughly so my body is open and begging for his mouth to be pressed firmly against my skin. my skin flushes at his proximity and his eyes rake over my body, drinking in every inch of me. My chest is heaving, up and down, and the thoughts in my head are racing and I'm overthinking this. "Just let it be," she told me. But I was never really that good at following rules.

[kt-milton]

Epiphanies

Maybe, just maybe...

Things we believe we want and dream and reach for, are not the things we truly need. Now surely, that is not a new sentiment to anyone of you. It isn’t news to me. However, I think we forget sometimes just how much this actually applies to. We are selfish. Always have been. Sure there are those among us that we label as truly generous and giving and self-sacrificing, but martyrdom only saves the masses. And the masses are more than glad to watch the other individual burn to save their own hide. But I digress. 

As selfish creatures I believe we paint images for ourselves as to what we should be and what would bring us happiness. Happiness is taught and treated as a goal, it has to to keep people in line. Got to school, so you can get that great job, meet that nice person, settle down with a couple kids and retire comfortably. Ahhh, the good ol’ american dream (similar recipes in other places, i’m sure). 

Here I am in my twenties, sitting naked in front of this computer, before eight in the morning, next to my cat and bong. And I have finally realized that i’ve been so much happier lately, because I stopped reaching for this one version of me that no matter how hard I tried, I kept failing to be. Even though it was never the only thing I ever wanted to be. I see so many possibilities for myself when daydreaming, versions that are filled with more smiles and semblances of a happy life and not just a good job. So why continue to struggle to just reach that one?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I regret nothing. Life is about experience. All of it. The struggles also make you who you are, I still wouldn’t be at this moment of epiphany without them. It’s just time to accept that maybe somethings didn’t factor in the way I wanted them to. Maybe it’s time to stop trying to break down door number one since doors two and three have been cracked open for years just waiting for me to take a peek.

[the-six-fingered-villain]

Judging by its cover…

AO3 : Link 

Fandom : Split / Glass

Chapter : 5/¿15?  Currently @ 31,251 words posted (the WIP is up to 93,903)

Terrible name, but whatever. The summary is also pretty bad too, but I’ll keep updating it as the story progresses. As a fan fic reader the thing I always hated the most was summaries that sounded awesome but pointed to a stories that weren’t there yet (and often never got updated again).

Waaaaaaay more philosophical than intended, but that’s kind of fun. No doubt influenced by being rather high for about a third of the time I’m writing. The objective with this story: move the characters forward such that I can have the exciting smutty scenes I want. But given where the film ends (and the implications from the trailer for Glass) there’s some... obstacles in the way of making characters reasonable people that one could interact with.

I absolutely feel that the Horde/Kevin Wendell Crumb is a fascinating fictional character that easily provokes the idea of love triangles in the 5th dimension. There’s just... so much you can do there. But it takes a bit of effort to narratively coax them into a place where normal human interactions can happen. 

[the-six-fingered-villain]

Poor Impulse Control

AO3 : Link

Fandom : Split

Chapter : 1/???  Currently @ 5,240 words

Got high, started writing. The first words put to digital paper and what broke the dam wide open. Written at the end of September in one evening. I have a couple thoughts on where else this would go, and some more words, and I’ll update... eventually. If there was actual interest in it, I’d be more motivated but as I suspected, it doesn’t seem to appeal to folks on AO3. 

It’s the dumping grounds for all bad people/bad behavior I can’t fit into my main fic. The OC is way too similar to previous characters I’ve had in the past, but whatever. Write what you know, right? 

[topperscumslut]

obsessed with the fact that the opening song on my album is literally the most batshit insane song in my entire discography. the whole thing is just a massive double entendre with the same plotline of olivia rodrigo’s bad idea right? but at its core it’s basically just a disney parody lmfao. like it’s literally called no one like you and features lines such as “i’ve tried taking what’s mine, leave the roses to die, we both know it’s not hard to know why” and “little death in your eyes.” it would send lil “sugar bowl in the ensemble of the 2019 show of beauty and the beast in which my (at the time) bf played gaston” 15 year old me into a coma.