I’m loving the stoner beej asks, and also claiming 🍪 this emoji! Imagine if beej left his edibles on the table one day, and reader finds them and eats them thinking they’re just regular snacks. He’d come back later looking for them only to find that they’d disappeared. At first he’d probably be angry, thinking someone stole them (delia maybe 👀 she is 100% a stoner too), HOWEVER walking into the living room he would find a very, VERY zooted reader laying on the couch counting the ceiling tiles.
greetings cookie anon!
oh no oh no this is so cute
He’d left them right there. He could have sworn by it. Sworn on a stack of Hustlers. Beetlejuice grumbled under his breath, looking around the kitchen counter for probably the fifth time and still coming up empty handed. The little plastic container that held his stash of edible gummies was gone.
“If that crunchy fucking New-Ager ate them, I’m gonna trap her soul in one of her crystals and drop it in the fucking ocean.”
The very tips of his hair flared a muted red as he stalked out into the living room, expression stormy...at least, it was until he saw you. You were lying on the couch, arms stretched over your head and dangling. The red disappeared at the sight of you, just having you near making him feel calmer. That is, until he saw it. The plastic container. The empty plastic container.
“Uh...babes?”
You didn’t move. “Hey Beej. So hey, uh, this might seem like a really weird question, but please don’t freak out okay?”
He froze, a shock of abrupt white at his temple. “What question?”
For a long moment, you were silent. Then you asked in a very serious tone, “Where are my arms? I think I lost them.”
He couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing, doubling over and clutching his stomach. You pouted, turning a very wide stare on him. “I’m serious! What if I never find them? What if I never get to hug you again?” Incredibly, your eyes welled up, and he crossed to you, taking your chin in his and noticing that your pupils were blown wide. His thumb stroked your jaw, and you calmed a bit as he took your hand.
“There, feel that? Arms are right here, babes.” He stroked a lock of your hair back from your forehead, shaking his head at you. “What the fuck did you eat all those gummies for?”
"Did I? Oh fuck. Don't be mad. They taste like peaches, I love peaches. You sure my arms are still there?"
He wanted to be mad, but fuck, you were just so damned cute. Beetlejuice took your arms and wrapped them around his shoulders, turning his head to nip gently at the crease of each elbow. "Yep. Got 'em right here." Slowly, he crawled up onto the couch with you, lying over you and pressing you into the cushions. "Next time you wanna raid my edibles, babe, come and get me. You'll fuck yourself up real quick with those if you're not careful."
"Mm." Your hands absently slid over his back, each touch curious and deliberate, as if they had never felt the texture of his blazer before. Beetlejuice lowered his head to your chest, hoping he could lull you to sleep. He shook his head, smirking softly as your touch wandered across his shoulder. What a foolish, funny, silly little breather you were. His silly little breather.
