It's funny how arbitrary and meaningless our explanations for why we do things become as we get older. The complexities of social norms and all the shit that comes with it makes us cowardly. It makes me think of kids, and how from time to time you hear people talk about "if you want the truth ask a kid," or some shit around those lines. And it makes me think of how much their parents and the adults that surround them in life slowly mold their thoughts to come with filters. To regulate the things they think, or want to say, and most of all, how they feel. Unfortunately, one will never realize how complicated that filter can become until they're constantly stuck in situations with significant others, family, friends, co-workers, where they want to say something or should say something a specific way, but the damn filter has totally fucked up your circuitry and it becomes a bit of a burden. So the decision is made to lie. To shape the things you tell people in order to avoid conflicts and the truth, or just avoid things in general. I guess in time people learn that the truth is brutal and it can seriously hurt people, but i think we all forget that some things, however mindless we think they may be at a certain time, can accumulate, and turn into this really ugly web of lies and shit that you will find yourself either having to be really shady and keep up the lies you tell or face the issue. Guess how many people decide to take the latter instead of the former?
Has any of that ever made you wonder what kind of person you are? What kinds of personal qualities or characteristics you may or may not possess? How many people that are in your life right now are you upfront with about things that come up (everyone is entitled to secrets, doesn't have to be everything)? Have you ever stopped and thought that you may be hurting people by holding back or being elusive about the things they ask you or ask of you? Whether you believe so or not, we are ALL guilty of it. There are plenty of us who will act nonchalant as fuck about it, like if its just sand on their shoulder, but it'll turn into a boulder eventually and they'll cave into the weight. I think if you really consider the people in your life valuable you should be willing to be upfront about things that come up, even if it means you aren't disclosing what you don't think they should know.
I may not be the most entertaining, or pleasant, or athletic, or funny, or attractive, or loose, or whatever else people desperately try to make themselves up to be, but if you talk to me I can hold up a hell of a conversation and I'm always down for whatever (as long as I know I can manage it). But most of all, I'm a human being, and unlike others, I don't fake how I feel. And for those who think that keeping it under wraps is a sign of strength, take a look at history.... Some of the greatest minds and souls this country has seen spoke up and acted out on what they believed was right and what they considered progress, and they were taken out by cowards. By people who found it challenging to be truthful and upfront about things, and had to shut others down, pussies who couldn't keep up, too weak to face what life was throwing at them.
