what if post dating, before Simon retires, he gets off the plane from like a looonngggg mission like months and months and Soap and the stream really missed him
Soap is supposed to stream that night and can’t because Ghost is coming back home - Soap meets him on the platform and Ghost is all disheveled and tired and whatever and Soap is like “the stream will be so happy you’re back online”
pre retirement: ghost swears plain black balaclava
after retirement, Ghost will be in the back room lurking until there’s an accidental face reveal and the stream goes nuts
soap is like “babe! Can you bring me your vest again? I need to finish something”
ghost comes in, vest in hand and his voice is all deep and sexy “here love”
I’m so obsessed with this it makes me sick to my tummy :(
this is so. YES!!!
and ghost coming in when soap asks and ghost gently explaining the anatomy of a gun :,) and stream is like “BYE his voice is so *incoherent screaming*” and ghost is like SIDE EYE JOHNNY HELP
johnny: not processing anything because i love his voice but it’s fine
ghost: well goddamnit johnny *starts talking really high pitched* so this is where the bullets go—
johnny: babe, no—
and then also ghost being just lurking off to the side of the camera on a couch or some shit playing games and the reason stream finds out is because ghost decides to play a horror game and he yells, “MOTHER MARY SAVE ME” and there’s a loud crash and soap is just like.
johnny: *side eye* anyway
stream: soap wtf
ghost: heart attack. heart attack. i have been less afraid holding live grenades. oh my god. jesus.
johnny: don’t play that game it’s scary i said, i played it on stream and it was scary i said, *mocking ghost’s vocie* im a man hardened by war, johnny i won’t get scared.
ghost: i’m gonna come and put my head in your lap and decompress now
johnny: anyway this is what it’s like having a velcro bf
anyway i love all of that. accidental face reveal? YUM
things that are planned/things i have small drabble of and also just little tidbits for the streamer au: because i’m writing for it rn and its. so fun.
soap broke his headboard clean in half because he was stubborn and refused to let ghost help him replace his LEDs. He jumped and the bed smacked the wall and just. broke. ghost joins stream just as soap says “my bf broke my headboard” and facetimes him and exposes him to stream. soap is unamused (and is internally twirling his hair because ghost looks so nice in his uniform)
when soap sees ghost in chat after streaming for a while, he will play a little sound thing that he has saved from that song that’s like “daddy’s home” on loop. this is followed by chat cheering saying ‘daddy’s home!!’ and ‘hey daddy!!’. ghost thinks it’s funny and he will admit to himself that yeah the way he drops his paycheck into whatever johnny wants could maybe perhaps make him a sugar daddy. it evolves into a very rare pet name that sometimes slips out when ghost buys soap something he gets really excited about. they always snort and laugh about it afterwards.
ghost won’t tell johnny he’s home from base while he’s streaming. he frequently scares the shit out of soap. soap will say something like “i’m hungry i want a little snack” and ghost comes in with a fruit salad, apples peeled, grapes peeled, oranges without the white stuff or the skin (whatever it’s called), strawberries cut, kiwis sliced and a little thing of whipped cream on the side for soap to dip them in.
soap always just stares at ghost for a few seconds before jumping out of his chair and jumping into his arms. stream thinks it’s very cute how ghost just holds soap’s thighs and rocks side to side as soap loudly scolds him for not telling him he was home and ghost says “i’m sorry, i didn’t want to disturb your work.” stream doesn’t mind the thirty seconds they get. i fact there’s quite a few clips and compilations of “Soap realizing Ghost is home”
ghost often plays games with soap when he’s home. they have a minecraft server with roach and gaz. they usually play stardew valley or some random indie game soap wants to try. people like it when they play stuff with proximity chat because on ghost’s end it’s all “where the fuck did johnny go” and “??? what the fuck is that???” and muttering to himself. Soap’s end is usually “oh i lost ghost again. oh well!!” “*loudly signing a song and screaming in terror when ghost appears out of nowhere and lowly joins in*” “*a random noise* babe? babe? is that you? babe?” and then screaming when he hears ghost saying “what?” from a distance. ghost also comes out of dark corners and scares soap before cackling loudly and running away from him
gaz and roach have a shared tiktok account that is eventually traced to ghost. (yes anon, i see you, more on this later because… i had an anon ask and i’m responding to it soon because they had an idea and were actually pretty much right on the money LMAO)
soap’s favorite video of ghost is a tiktok roach posted called “asking the guys what they’re gonna do when we get back home!” and ghost grabs roach by his vest and basically growls at him and says “when you get to your bunk. you’re going to be very tired. you’re going to shower and get clean. and then you’re going to lay down. you’re confused because there’s something sticky and kind of creamy on your pillows. that’s my come. on your pillows. i’m going to come on your pillows because you won’t leave me alone.” and this is something that ghost does very often because everybody thinks it’s pretty funny when one of the 141 is bothering ghost and he just glares and starts a very deadpan monologue about how he’s going to either have sex with their parents/come on their belongings/murder them.
soaps second favorite video is a fideo roach sent him of a draft tiktok that he never posted (because ghost ruined it). roach is talking about how his least favorite thing is the base coffee and ghost just walks into the frame, smacks roach on the ass, steals his coffee, moans and burps in the same breath. then they just stare at each other, roach with a look of mild shock and mild annoyance because this is normal ghost behavior and ghost with a flat expression as he drinks roach’s coffee. roach says “dude. seriously?” and ghost’s reply is “it was a good burp.”
(the secret actual first favorite is a video where ghost is blackout drunk and laying on the floor and trying to detail why he needs to drive to soap right this second. a few seconds after he gets very sad by roach telling him he couldn’t just go AWOL ghost gets a facetime call from johnny and almost dies trying to get his phone out of his pocket. johnny remembers the facetime call fondly because simon wouldn’t shut up about “you’re so pretty” “can we kiss? we should kiss.” and other things of that sort
ghost accidentally face reveals on soap’s stream because he woke up from a nap and was very disoriented and couldn’t find soap. he walked into the stream room and just stood in the doorway buffering and then very sadly said “you didn’t nap with me” and johnny had said “i’m working” and simon was just like ??? brain offline no thoughts head empty i don’t know what year it is and johnny had to actually get out of his chair and put simon back to sleep on the couch in the stream room. simon woke up again like half an hour and is like “how the fuck did i get here?” he has no memory of anything.
if you didn’t guess, this is a kind of crack fic au
ghost is usually in the stream room. nobody knows because he’s quiet and usually either watches johnny or sleeps or plays on johnny’s switch. he likes spending time in the same general area as johnny, and it also means johnny can spend more time interacting with the people that watch because he can just ask simon to refill his drink/get him something to eat. sometimes simon does it without asking
johnny helps ghost build a PC. ghost uses it pretty much only for Sims4/stardew valley and over a hundred mods. and the games he plays with johnny.
they label themselves as “best friends with romantic benefits and other things” because they don’t actually have the “are we boyfriends?” talk until after they move in together. soap calls him “my hubby” when referring to him as a half joke and also because he can pass it off as “oh well we live together and have some shared finances”. when gaz/roach ask if he’s dating johnny simon just kind of says “uhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and then pretends to forget about the question or not hear it. it’s not unrequited. they’re just idiots.
ghost starts off kind of indifferent/assholey towards soap and slowly evolves into a very soft and squishy velcro bf who would rather lay on soap’s tummy and watch a movie than any other activity.
soap is transmasc. when he comes out to ghost there’s a huge miscommunication because ghost says “oh i like girls too” as in he thought johnny is a cis man who wants to be a trans girl and there’s a giant fight and simon is like “WHY ARE WE ARGUING IM BEING SUPPORTIVE” and johnny is like “WHO TF TELLS A TRANS GUY THEY LIKE GIRLS TOO” and simon is like “wait you’re not cis?“ and johnny realizes simon was operating under the assumption he was just a sometimes fem gay man and not a gender queer trans masc. simon feels bad for making johnny feel bad and gets him ice cream. johnny feels bad for making simon feel bad and let’s simon hide in his shirt to decompress.
on shared streams johnny prodded ghost to introduce himself and instead of saying his name and pronouns like johnny assumed he was going to simon said “hi im johnny’s sugar daddy” and there’s an audible smack noise because johnny actually has to face palm.
ghost gets shot once and when he wakes up high from surgery he almost fights gaz because he wants his phone. ghost then calls johnny and just silently stares at him. soap thinks it’s hilarious and just talks to him and ghost responds by slow blinking or mildly nodding/shaking his head. the nurses actually disconnect his heart monitors because they keep getting alerts because ghosts heart randomly spazzes out because he’s making heart eyes at johnny
anyway. talk to me ab this au and any ideas you may have. the plot is just “they’re in love” and it’s going to be a marvelous crack fic that i am slowly begining to adore
