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hello hello! it's 🌟 anon't... this time with hsrsona designs she promised like 6 billion years ago at this point... FINALLY 😭 this will be a semi-long post? also since i still treat this sona as a part of hsrverse... lore yap aka some pieces of my actual life 🙃 + concepts of a plan for combat related things. it ended up being a very fun introspection excercise! well... what even is a "strell" anyway?

so actually, "strell" is a nickname i came up with for myself based on my middle name "estrella", which means star in spanish! this is becauseee... > my first name is much too short to justify the use of a nickname, and i've always thought that the concept of nicknames are so cute. like an extra show of familiarity? > nobody ever uses my middle name irl, because nobody knows how to pronounce it... i live in a country where no one speaks spanish and the local accent pronounces (and emphasises) the l's in "estrella" rather than pronouncing it as a "y" the way it's intended. actually a kid in kindergarten once pronounced it as "australia" which i still think is so funny > i'm not even hispanic!! i've always thought it was weird my parents gave me that as a middle name, it felt out of place. so once upon a time, i asked them about it. they said "it sounded cool" tldr: parents gave me the middle name that sounds cool only for me to never hear said cool pronunciation like ever. what an enigma! i've chosen to identify by this mispronunciation because it being "unexpected" is so freeing, but more on that later! as far as appearances go, i'd say i've drawn myself pretty true to form! i love my hair lots, it's somewhere in between curly and wavy. another uncommon thing where i live! and i like doing it in that hairstyle because it's so cute! gives my hair more volume too :p what on earth am i wearing?

well! my outfit is inspired by best attempt at mixing the cultural wear of both my ethnicities! i'm indonesian-indian :) the top is inspired by the indonesian kebaya, and the bangles and the scarf around the neck is inspired by the indian dupatta! one might say the mix is quite imbalanced and leans more heavily to the indonesian inspirations, and one would be right! i'm closer to the indonesian side of the family, and i've unfortunately cut contact from the indian side from a young age. i've had to figure out my relationship with that side of me on my own, which is a tough journey to say the least. as an aside, it's such a weird thing having to learn about my culture on my own with no familial ties to guide me through things that would normally be learnt through lived experience... **additional clarification, the top is supposed to be lace like the one i referenced i'm just really freakin lazy to draw all that okay just close your eyes and imagine. thank you

the boots are just what i wear on a daily basis HAHA! well in this drawing i forgot to draw the stockings but i just think patterned/funky stockings are just so cool in general, i was even thinking that the stars in my stockings should move/be animated? wouldn't that be so cool? oh, and the flowers are ixoras! the necklace and hair accessories are those too! some ixora fun facts for you!! > "ixora" is an anglicised version (one could even say mispronunciation-) of "ishwara", which is one of the names of lord shiva in hinduism! the flowers are also used as offerings afaik > in my country, ixoras are planted everywhere to pretty up pavements and roadsides! the ones i see most often are the pink ones seen in the pic i included, but there's also red, orange, and yellow! maybe these colour variations are why they're also called "jungle flames"? > because they're roadside flowers, most people don't pay attention to them. the only ones who do are children! children here like to pluck the flowers and suck out the little bits of sweet sap, or connect them into a bracelet! this isn't in any official flower language or anything but to me, i associate ixoras with that kind of childlike wonder that gradually fades away when you get older. it's still with you! but maybe just in your peripheral vision so that the road ahead feels less daunting~ enigmata???? ok ok listen. i started conceptualising all this like way long ago even before planarcadia, so my understanding of the enigmata is based on gallagher and a little bit of evernight. aka, May Not Be the Best Understanding of The Path but bear with me. playing through planarcadia, i actually began to doubt that i aligned with enigmata at all? because the actual presentation of elation as "the joy of creation" and running on belief/hope aka wishpower... honestly that sounds like the path for me! i love designing and writing oc's (ehhem xiuling) because each of them are like a part of me that i've fleshed out to be their own people, and by giving them arcs and endings i hope that i can also achieve that closure for myself too? but again, this is how i treat certain parts of myself. how i treat my whole self is quite different? planning ahead in any sense gives me such unease of having to be locked onto a certain path. being expected to do a certain thing or even worse yet, excell at it. eugh, shivers. labelling myself? oughh... even sexuality-wise, it gives me a headache. i've found so much freedom in refusing to give into that pressure of having to label myself as anything. if i'm not any one thing, i can be anything! thus we've circled back to the concept of Oblivion which evernight seems to love to talk about.

combat... i say "combat" but i really mean "animations and design" rather than meta stuff like kit functionality ok?!?! so here's the concept... wayang kulit!

wayang kulit is the art form of shadow puppetry, which can be found across the malay archipelago! the specific version i'm referencing is the javanese (indonesian) version. forgive the history lesson, but i find wayang to be such an interesting reflection of my personal cultural entwinements! for starters, back in ye olde days indonesia (then majapahit and many other kingdoms) were primarily hindu, so the arts and culture of this time was largely influenced by it. most of the time, wayang tells the story of the ramayana, a hindu epic. even though present-day indonesia has aligned itself with islam, these aspects of the history and culture still remain but are only regarded as far-off myth.

so another interesting thing, despite the show entirely being told through the shadows cast through the puppets, the puppets themselves are intricately coloured! the only person who can see these colours is the puppet-master (dalang) of course, and i haven't been able to find anywhere that says why... so let's pretend to be history fictionologists for a moment and make up a reason! i think it's so cool that there's still only some aspects/beauty that only the puppet master is privy to, like it's their superpower or something! which then makes it their responsibility to interpret the beauty of those colours and convey them through the movements of the puppets, each character having their unique gestures and 'body language'. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or something like that! of course, there are no shadows without a light source. literally, this would typically be an oil lamp or just a literal bulb or something. but figuratively, wouldn't the puppet master also be a sort of "light source"? light as in hope, storyteller as in bringer of hope~ oh and wayang performances are always accompanied by a gamelan orchestra, so TLDR: combat animations to do with wayang and maybe the sound effects can be of the orchestra? i think?? that's all i have to yap about???? i think ??? well if there's anymore i'll follow up when i remember 😃 thank you as always for taking so much care in reading and responding to these asks. not just mine, but for all the other anons as well. i hope you have a great day lily!! <3 i leave you with this song, which i was listening to on loop as i was writing this for a solid hour and a half! i think the lyrics encapsulate the feelings i have when coming up with/exploring this sona :> when all of you burns like a star, it's after you burn out that you are reborn again, mm reborn again and maybe if you called out for help, then i could help you outrun yourself, come run again, come run again~

Hi again 🌟 anon, hi Strell! :) Ah omg, I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’ve been meaning to reply much earlier, but my health hasn’t been good lately and real life has kept me busy. Anyway, thank you so much for this ask. It was so interesting to read and I learned many new things. I also really appreciate the things you shared about yourself. :)

So first I wanted to mention how lovely your HSRsona looks. I particularly love how you drew the hair and eyes (and since you mentioned that it’s very similar to your real-life hair, I just wanted to say that I’ve always wanted to have curly/wavy hair. :D). And I obviously only know you through your writing and through the things you’ve shared, but I can still feel your energy in the art (in her, I guess), so I think that makes perfect sense. :)

I really loved reading what you wrote about your nickname. Estrella is such a beautiful name, and the nickname just fits. (Side note: I love how your parents decided on the name. Sometimes a cool sound is everything that’s needed. Plus, the meaning “star” is actually very beautiful. :)) I have a similar view on nicknames, and I think they can be a lovely way to show familiarity or that someone holds a special place in your life (for example when only certain people use a particular nickname).

Oh, and I really loved your explanation of the outfit. First of all, I just think it looks very pretty. And even without the cultural context you gave me, it already felt like a very fitting choice. But I especially like how much thought you put into it and that you settled on a blend of both cultures. I also really appreciated what you shared about identity and your own journey, and I hope you’ll get the chance to learn more about Indian culture too and feel more connected to that part of yourself. :)

And omg, I love what you mentioned about the stars on your stockings because I immediately had a mental image of them moving. It would be so cool!!

And the flower detail!! I’ve mentioned it before, but I think we’re very similar when it comes to details and symbolism, so I really enjoy the amount of thought you put into those things. It’s similar to what I do too, and I just think this is such a “you” thing. :) I also love your interpretation of the ixora. I wasn’t familiar with the flower before, but thanks to your description I have such a vivid image of it now. :) I especially loved what you wrote about childlike wonder. It’s something I’ve associated with you for quite a while now.

And it’s also something that I want to preserve in myself. I think the older I got, the more adult responsibilities sometimes made me feel so… stuck. But then there are phases where I notice little things again and get reminded of small joys, similar to the ixoras (and that’s exactly why your description resonated with me so much). It’s just nice to be reminded of things like that. And while I’ve considered myself mature and responsible for a long time (side note: even when I was technically still a teenager, I was often more mature than my peers, partly because I had to grow up early), I also think everyone should have things that allow them to stay a little childish, even silly. But I’m rambling. :D

What you described about the Paths of Enigmata and Elation in relation to yourself was so interesting. I actually think both can be true. What you’ve learned about Elation through Planarcadia, but also the ideas you had beforehand with the whole creation aspect. So I think you made a very important differentiation: we can look at parts of ourselves, but also at ourselves as a whole (or perhaps the version of ourselves we usually present to the world).

That’s what I sometimes mean when I talk about characters and how they speak to different parts of myself. For example, I’ve always felt proud of my analytical side and the more intellectual parts of myself, so to speak. But that also made me stand out when I was younger, especially because I tended to overthink everything (and because my thoughts were perhaps a little harder for others to grasp). At the same time, I’m also very empathetic and tend to feel things deeply and notice beauty in so many places. So I know how to shoulder responsibilities, but there are also parts of me that seek wonder and adventure and whimsy. I think it always depends on the context and also on our current headspace. But enough about that tangent. :D

So yes, you can be anything, and I think you should feel proud of that. :)

Thank you so much for telling me more about wayang kulit. I’d heard of shadow puppetry before, but never with that cultural background. And please don’t apologize for the history lesson. It was fascinating. Besides, I’ve always loved history, so you’re talking to exactly the right person. :D

I also love your own thoughts about why the puppets are colored. Personally, I really like this interpretation because it fits my own perspective so well. I think everyone perceives beauty differently. That has always been true. There’s outer beauty, of course, but also the beauty we find in people, ideas, places, conversations… in the world itself. That’s why I’ve never liked people telling others what should or shouldn’t be considered beautiful (or meaningful). And I think that’s also why I’m affected by the kind of toxicity that sometimes comes from very rigid perspectives, suggesting there is only one correct way to see things.

And I completely agree with your idea of the puppet master also being a light source. And if I take that thought a little further, I think it also applies to everyday life. We can be our own source of light, but it’s also important to remember that we can bring light into other people’s lives. Of course, that looks different for everyone. We won’t affect every single person we meet, but there will always be someone who smiles because of something we said or did, someone we genuinely comfort, or someone whose perspective we broaden. I just think that’s a comforting thought (and it’s also a reminder to myself).

Thank you so much for sharing all of this with me. :) I hope I didn’t forget anything. Reading about your sona helped me understand you better, and learning more about you helped me understand your sona better too. So I think what you wrote on the art (“I am her. She is me.”) fits so well here.

And thank you for sharing the song with me as well. I loved it!! :) I actually listened to it while reading your ask for the first time, and then again while I was working on this reply, so I completely understand why you had it on loop while writing. :)

One more thing that made me smile while reading your ask (and this isn’t the first time): it’s so lovely how much you love creating. That passion shines through in the way you write (and analyze things), in your drawings, and in the way you connect ideas and build associations between them. I also really love that creating helps you learn more about yourself. That’s something I relate to a lot too, so I think we’re quite similar in that regard. :)

Looking forward to hearing from you as always! :) (Side note: It’s always a pleasure to read and reply to your asks!)

Lily 💙

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