#strokes suck

[whatshouldwecallchronicillness]

When I found out two of my favorite actresses have had strokes too....

And they also do the (I’ve had medical trauma and now when I get any weird sensation I’m convinced I’m having another stroke and now I need to do a mini neuro exam on myself to try to fend off this panic attack) thing.

[pinkabrinka]

My Stroke Adventures: Day 1026

As I was walking to the bathroom, my right knee hyperextended. In my rush to correct it (that shit hurts plus I REALLY had to go to the bathroom) while continuing to move forward I somehow over corrected and the resulting snap threw me off balance. I managed to catch myself on the sink so I didn’t fall AND I didn’t just pee everywhere (stroke + shock + pain spike + sudden loss of balance make that more of a reality than I like having to admit).

My old PT didn’t really have a plan for the random hyperextension events. I am hoping that once my feet heal and I can go back to the gym, that strengthening my legs by walking on the treadmill and doing hamstring-focused exercise will be helpful.

[I can’t believe it’s been over 1k days since the stroke. FTR, I’m still too stubborn to accept that this is my new and forever normal.]

[loverofcoffeeandfiction]

I appreciate all the messages and love!!

A week and a half ago I had a mini stroke. It’s been a tough recovery and my memory and speech are coming along slowly. I have pulled up rp to reply to but I still having trouble with getting all my thoughts together.

I promise I haven’t abandoned any rp. This just took me down and it’s taking a while to get back up. I will reply and finish stories as soon as I can.

Thank you all for the messages and the love you’ve shown me.

-Tammy

[mesdea]

My mom had a stroke today. She’s talking and lucid, more tests while she’s in ICU. I know one day she won’t be here anymore but I’m just not ready for that to be today. The worst is dealing with her wife who doesn’t like me because I sheltered my mom after she abused her.

I’m just so stressed. Thoughts would be appreciated for a speedy recovery.

[pinkabrinka]

My wild and crazy Sunday night. The stroke stole my handwriting; I’m going to get it back.

[pinkabrinka]

I know I sound like a broken record, but every day the list of things I can do without pain gets shorter.

[pinkabrinka]

Dear Universe:

We both know I’m a badass motherfucker, even in this compromised state. Stop making me demonstrate it. It seems unfair to the rest of humanity.

XOXO,

me

[pinkabrinka]

I seriously cannot go on like this. This is the fifth night in a row I’ve slept for two hours then woken up literally screaming in pain in my back and shoulder. It took almost twenty minutes after that to be able to sit up. If I’m lucky in a few hours I’ll get another hour of sleep, but that’s not always guaranteed. My body seems to be learning that sleep is inevitably painful and therefore should be avoided.

This afternoon mom offered to buy me a new coat, which I need since it’s 38 and snowing. I had to refuse because my shoulder hurt so much that I almost collapsed after trying on one. I had to just hold onto the rack and let her pull the coat off of my body.

When I got back to the apartment my fingers wouldn’t work properly and I couldn’t manipulate my keys to be able to unlock the door. By the time I could get my keys to my other hand to separate them and get the right key into the lock I’d peed my pants. There are only three keys on my keychain. Three.

The light at the end of the tunnel is me setting myself on fire.