Anyway, people with brain damage I love you. People who have had strokes I love you, especially if you're told you were "too young" to have one. People who acquired your brain damage by less common means such as infection, lack of oxygen at birth or degenerative disease, I love you. People with moderate and severe brain damage, I love you. People who lost their sight or hearing or ability to speak because of their brain damage, I love you. People who have paralysis from their brain damage, I love you. People with amnesia and severe cognitive issues from their brain damage, I love you. People with rare and unusual symptoms from their brain damage, I love you.
You are not a punchline, you haven't lost your humanity, your thoughts and opinions are as valuable as anyone else's. We deserve respect.
[ID: a dark red banner with the words "This post is about physical disabilities, do not derail." in grey font. Either side of it is a lighter grey wheelchair user symbol with the user leaning forward with the arms raised and back, giving the appearance of wheeling fast. End ID.]
Hat évvel ezelőtt ezen a reggelen is úgy ébredtem, hogy végre egy nap, amikor engem ünnepelnek majd, csak azért, mert ezt a nevet kaptam. Gwendi nem volt jól, megbeszéltük, hogy reggel elugrok megsétáltatni Öcsit. Vidáman beköszöntem, ő az íróasztalnál ült, fején a füles, azt hittem dolgozik. Rám nézett. Nem köszönt, a tekintete üres volt. Nem értettem. Kérdezgettem, nem válaszolt. Csak nézett... Az az üres tekintet belém égett... Stresszhelyzetben valahogy mégis bekapcsolt a reflex, talán az egészségügyi végzettség, talán a sok Dr.House, de szinte automatikusan jöttek a tünet felismerő feladatok: emeld fel a karod, nyújtsd ki a nyelved...dezorientált, ért, de nem beszél, itt baj van! Azonnal mentőt hívtam, utólag vicces, de, a sok ER után csak a 911 ugrott be, rendesen koncetrálnom kellett, hogy a 112-t eszembe jusson. A mentősök azt mondták ez nem agyi eredetű, biztos poénkodik (wtf?) én meg olyan határozottan mondtam, mint talán még soha, hogy de bazmeg, azonnal húzzatok be az SBO-ra! Ott aztán hamar kiderült, hogy de, ez bizony agyi katasztrófa, stroke. 29 éves volt ekkor. Tudtam a 3 órás időkapuról, tudtam, hogy vészesen rohan az idő. Az orvosok és nővérek előtt ma is leborulok, de amikor 40 percig nem jött beteghordó a diagnózis után, én voltam Sherley Mclain a Becéző szavakból, aki bárkinek nekimegy, csak mentsék meg a lányát! Úgy 3 óra múlva tért magához az intenzíven. Nem értette mi történt, aztán beszélni kezdett. Fruzsival álltunk az ágya két oldalán, és amikor találkozott a pillantásunk, abban a létező összes rettegés ott volt: egyik szó jött a másik után, értelmetlen sorrendben, teljesen random módon. Nem álltak össze. Ismételgette ugyanazt, egyre dühösebben, és akkor jött a halálos rémület, hogy a neheze csak most kezdődik. Sérült a beszédközpont, 8 cm-es elhalás látható a ct-n, nem tudni mekkora a kár. Lehet, hogy felépül, lehet, hogy soha nem fog tudni beszélni már. Az angol volt a második anyanyelve, most egy nyelven sem képes kommunikálni. Lehet még gyereke? Vezethet autót? Képes lesz önálló életre, vagy ellátásra szorul? Nem voltak válaszok, csak a bizonytalan jövő...Nagy utat jártunk be azóta. A rehabilitáció nehéz volt és keserves. És mi már soha nem leszünk ugyanazok. Soha nem kapcsoljuk ki a telefont, soha nem telik el 2 napnál több, hogy ne írnánk a családi csetbe, hogy "mindenkivel minden oké?"...Az életünk ott, azon a napon örökre megváltozott. Gwendi csodálatos nő lett! Rengeteget dolgozott azért, hogy visszanyerje a régi képességeit. Szebb és okosabb, higgadtabb és felelősségteljesebb, mint valaha! Boldog feleség, sikeres vezető. És a legszebb szoprán hang a világon!Nagyon büszke vagyok rá!
Január 21. hat éve már nem az én névnapom. Minden évben ez a nap az, ami emlékeztet minket arra, hogy mi hárman, a "három grácia" eltéphetetlenül összezártunk akkor. Gwendi küzdött az életéért, Fruzsi ott, akkor lett igazán felnőtt, aki mindent menedzselt, szervezett,kézben tartott. A kórházban éltünk, onnan dolgoztunk, amikor Gwendi pihent. Nem tudok elég hálás lenni neki ezért! Én apró szilánkokra törtem, láttam eltűnni egy épp csak elkezdett élet munkáját, láttam a gyerekem szemében azt a félelmet, amit egy anya sem akar látni soha. Kicsit , akkor először életemben én meghaltam belül...
Minden évben ezen a napon megállunk pár percre, hálát adunk azért, mert kivételesen szerencsések vagyunk! Mert mi hárman tudjuk, mit jelent túlélőnek lenni. Január 21. a mi szövetségünk évfordulója!
Hogy ez pont Ágnes napra esik, az az én ajándékom a névnapomra.:))
I've seen a few more specific this-is blogs under the @this-is-ableism umbrella so I decided to make one for brain injuries & brain damage as it's something very close to my heart and people often excuse this type of ableism, even in supposed disability-friendly spaces
Flag used in pfp and banner is this one by @emberhoards
How to use this blog:
[PT: How to use this blog:]
Click on my username
Click on the envelope symbol, or click my username a second time and click 'Inbox'
If you'd like your account to be anonymous, select 'Ask Anonymously' (note that you won't be notified if I respond to an anonymous ask, so follow the blog and check back later!)
Send in an experience that you or someone you know has had with mistreatment because of a brain injury and/or brain damage
OR
You could send in a question, some positivity, or different kind of message which I'll tag differently
Mod Info:
[PT: Mod info:]
My name is Atticus (any pronouns) and I'm a stroke survivor in my late 20s - I was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury in my youth and then experienced further damage to my brain due to my stroke, doubling up over here haha
I've faced a lot of problems with my symptoms of other conditions being doubted, being denied access to care, not being listened to, and being assumed to be incapable because of brain damage and I'm passionate about making this type of thing more known
Other ableism-based blogs I recommend include:
- @this-is-accessibility
- @this-is-anti-id / @this-is-anti-idd (intellectual disabilities / intellectual developmental disorders)
- @this-is-saneism (mental health and disorders)
- @this-is-infantilization
- @this-is-cluster-b-saneism
- @this-is-anti-bpd
- @this-is-depressiomisia (depression)
- @this-is-agorableism (the behaviours of disabled people in public)
- @this-is-audism (deaf/Deaf/hoh/hearing loss/auditory processing disorder)
and I'll add in @thisis-suicidism and @thisisparamisia because their stuff is also very meaningful to me in particular
My Franken!Kyle speech headcanons (as a caretaker of stroke survivors and vulnerable/disabled adults)
Disclaimer: I am not a professional speech therapist but I have 2 years working with dementia patients, stroke survivors, and vulnerable adults with disabilities. During my time as a caretaker, I have helped people with their physical, occupational, and speech therapy skills and have seen serious improvement with them— it’s a beautiful thing I’ve been able to witness in my line of work and it gives me an in-depth look at how I believe Kyle most likely functions given his sexual, physical, and psychological trauma. A lot of these headcanons are based on actual traits and experiences I’ve seen during my work and I write all of them for Kyle with the utmost respect and dignity for the people I’ve worked with and other real life survivors.
“Yeah” and “yup” are easy-to-say words and comes out instinctively in response to things. Kyle say them a lot when he’s trying to soothe Reader, animals, or others. He’ll say ‘yeah’ with a sassy air when he gets an attitude, and favors ‘yeah’ in a bad mood, ‘yup’ in a good mood. If he’s saying ‘yup’ or it usually means he’s comfortable speaking right then. Does not always work for the sentence, they are just easy, go-to words for him.
Ex. “Hey, Kyle, how are you?” “Yup, yup!” or “Kyle, what did you want for dinner?” “Mm… yeah…”
He stutters a lot. Relearning to speak is a huge task and not every word comes easy. Soft sounds and especially ‘M’ sounds come easiest and will often come out accidentally instead of the intended sound/word.
Ex. *trying to say ‘hungry’* “Kyle mm—n…no. M-Mug. Mug.. g-gree.”
He says words wrong and Reader interprets best she can. I’ve written this into my fics before but Kyle almost always knows exactly what he wants to say— it’s just a matter of getting it out. He mixes up words but Reader can usually make sense of what he means. Ex. Saying “not” instead of “no” in response, but the negative connotation and tone make up for the incorrect word.
Ex. “Kyle, did you want this?” “Not. NOT!”
Repeats words when excited, frustrated, or confused. Repeating a word doesn’t always help, sometimes it happens out of frustration and Kyle cannot get his point across, and while not knowing another way to do so in the moment, will simply repeat the word he knows he can say over and over, or louder and louder, hoping to be understood. When he’s in a good mood, and hears a new word or word he likes, he’ll repeat it until it comes easy. Especially if it comes easy already.
Ex. *playing legos— happy* “Block. Block! Block, block, yup, yup…” or *struggling with zipper— frustrated* “Mm! Zip, zip! ZIP! Zip zip.”
Breaking up words into smaller pieces. It makes his speech sound choppy, but can actually make more sense if he does this, and it’s usually for his own comfort. Kyle often breaks longer (or even short) words into pieces to try and say each half correctly.
Ex. *trying to say ‘basket’* “Sket. Ba…ket— Bass…ket.”
This one is sad but he says “mom” on accident a lot. Again, ‘m’ sounds come very easy to him and he will say ‘mom’ as a sort of vocal stim when he’s tired/sleepy, upset/crying, or frustrated/struggling to speak. This is because it comes very easy to him, it doesn’t take effort to say the word, and usually accompanies vulnerability (whether he’s in a good mood or not) due to his past.
Ex. *tired/upset* “Kyle which one do you want?” “Mm…mom. N-no… mmm…momm….?”
He plays with words. Like repeating them to adjust to the sounds, Kyle will hum, mumble, and talk to himself, figuring out his speech and new words to try and get comfortable speaking again. If he’s in a good mood, he’ll repeat words that he likes (if he’s eating, ‘yum’ is a very easy word that he can say over and over in between bites), or if you say a new word and he tries it out and it actually comes easy, he’ll just keep saying it because he can and it doesn’t take too much effort to say. 🤷♀️ he’s silly like that
Ex. *after learning the word tree* “Mm.. t…tree! Tree, tree… tee. Tee, tee, ree… Ree, ree!”
He’ll shout words he’s confident with (or think he is confident with). For example, if he knows a word and is prompted by either that word or something that he can respond to with that word, he’ll blurt it (usually loudly). But he’s not always accurate with his pronunciation, or even the word he means to say, so he may accidentally shout random nonsense and ends up embarrassing himself, but the reader is always supportive of him trying.
Ex. “Do you want a bath, Kyle?” “MAT! Mm…no. Math?” “Bath.” “BATH!”
If he gets too frustrated with a word, he’ll give up. This usually happens after several failed attempts to say a word and he will usually exhale sharply and hide his face, embarrassment and frustration being the most prominent emotions when he struggles to speak.
He’s grown less embarrassed of his flubs and is more easy to laugh at them when you point them out. This is good but he still does get embarrassed when he fails to say things— Reader is usually careful to be encouraging rather than punishing when Kyle messes up in his speech and communication.
I will probably end up adding to this list! Totally feel free to adopt any of these as your own if you find them interesting and remember these are just my opinions, no need to agree with any of them! Thanks for reading 🩷🖤
Having a rare disorder or rare complications can be so incredibly lonely. Thinking of people who will never meet another person in person with their disorder or have difficulty even connecting with other people online with their disorder. Thinking of people with disorders or injuries that are common, but their age makes them a huge outlier. I feel alone, but I have to believe i'm not
