Guess what happened again?
Once again, I got super tired. Like, all the time. Woke up, just stayed in bed. Went to bed early, didn't sleep, just lay there. Slept erratically. Wasn't hungry-- perked up some when I ate, but not much and not for long, so entire meals frequently got skipped.
And that sounds like burnout and depression, right? My circumstances certainly would support that.
Except I have major depression already, and what I've been dealing with doesn't feel like that.
Depressive episodes tend to feel shrouded by gray. The color drains out of the world, nothing tastes like anything, music is just noise. It's like wandering through a deep fog.
In deep depression, I can technically do tasks, but I tend to have to build myself up to get started.
There was no ashen haze. I could make myself do stuff, I was just tired while I did it. I was pissy about weird things, and just kind of disoriented and unfocused.
See, I have a genetic inability to process folic acid (Vitamin B9) properly. Without the specific supplements I take, I barely manage to glean any of it out of my diet. Aaand I'd run out of supplements at the tail end of last year, and the one store I knew that carries Methylfolate was always out when I dropped by.
So, some symptoms of a folic acid (B9) deficiency:
Anemia-- despite being overweight, even when I'm eating red meat. Without the folic acid, I'm not able to actually get all the things I need out of the food I'm eating.
Extreme fatigue -- I'm talking get home, flop into bed, barely trudge out again by morning
Confusion -- you know, all those symptoms that can be summed up by "huh, I guess I was more tired than I thought"
As I've got a uterus, this tends to hit peak shittiness in the week before my period, which I like to peevishly think of as double anemia. That's when it goes from "bleh" to completely untenable.
I finally got my hands on more Methylfolate, had myself a meal, and maybe there's some psychosomatic stuff going on, but I'm already starting to feel better.