A Visit with Grief || TFP Megatron x Femme! Reader
Summary: Megatron finally reads the Reader’s suicide note that she left behind for him.
⚠️ Warning: Mention of suicide, dead reader, suicide note, angst(?)
He stood there, silently, unmoving. His helm was faced downwards, his red optics staring intently at the old dusty datapad in his servos. His rust tinged armor gleamed in the sunlight in the middle of the gladiator pit of Kaon.
The war had ended for quite some time, the Autobots already starting on repairing Cybertron. They had been sitting around glooming over the loss of their Prime, but they eventually began being productive. But Megatron, he wandered Kaon, visiting his past grievances following them around like a cyber-puppy.
He had then walked to the place where everything started before he had even realized it.
Megatron knew he couldn’t run from it anymore. He was too tired and battleworn to even try now. He could own up to all the crimes he did in the best, he was ready for that, except one thing. And this datapad was the last crime he needed to pay a visit. He didn’t want to. He had to admit, he was scared of the little tablet, fearful of what it contained inside.
This was the note his long dead conjunx endura, (Y/n), left behind. The datapad has been found near her body, having slit her arms downwards and bled to death. He still remembered coming to her room, worried that she hadn’t replied back to him about having a meeting over the Senate attacking, seeing her on the floor with offline optics and energon pooled around you. His optics had met hers before he had to look away, horrified by her dead expression. This was the only time he cried over the loss of a loved one.
Megatron shivered at the memory. He sighed deeply. He needed to do this. Besides, he didn’t have anything to distract him from this note anymore. No demands from his soldiers, no pesky Seeker to bother him, and no TIC to get reports from.
Slowly, he sat on the ground, not caring it was going to get his armor dirty. His sharp digits weakly turned the datapad on, using one servo to wipe the dust off the screen.
There was no password to get access into the pad, just a picture of (Y/n) and himself smiling at Megatron. His spark constricted at the memory. She had suddenly jumped onto the back, swinging her servo up in the air with a camera with a huge grin. Megatron had laughed, smiling away with no worries. It had been the same day you had died.
With a few swipes and taps, he found a document with his old designation on it. He hesitated to open it, but he forced himself to do so.
Inside was a poem.
She had loved poetry, had taught him how to do it as well. It wasn’t surprising to see your final words would been written as a poem.
Megatron began reading the note.
I’ll be nothing more than a fleeting memory that invades your mind in the dead of night- a passive thought you reminisce back on years from now.
Maybe with sorrow
Hopefully with a smile
Don’t worry, I’ll still be here- existing forever within the memories and experiences we once shared.
All of which I’m eternally grateful for.
Grateful to you and the rest of the world for letting me experience.
Some moments of pure bliss filled with laughter that echoed throughout the night as time flew from our grasps.
Others of darkness that seemed to go on endlessly, turning mere seconds into an eternity.
It was in those moments that I found life.
A constant reminder that I still existed.
But it’s becoming too much for me now.
Those nights full of despair became days, then months, and slowly years. The same despair that served as a reminder that I was alive now taunts me with life.
It sounds like I’m being ungrateful.
Just a whiny little glitch complaining about something so minute compared to all the other problems of the world.
I guess I am.
How can my sadness stack up against the harsh realities of life elsewhere- where people are being slaughtered endlessly, dying of disease and famine.
No homes.
No family.
I have no right to complain.
I guess I’m just not as strong as you are.
It’s said only the strongest, most adaptable survive.
So it’s only fitting that you live to carry on this legacy.
I hope one day you forgive me for being such a burden.
For running away from all the mistakes I’ve made, problems I created- leaving you to take care of them.
It’s very selfish of me.
But I know you’ll be able to handle it.
You’re stronger than I ever was.
Strong enough to shoulder the weight of the world
And keep moving forward.
By the time you finish reading this I’ll be gone, but you’ll still be here.
You’ll still have a chance to create the life you want to live.
I know it’s asking for a lot but I have a final wish.
I wish you keep living for both of us.
I wish you continue this life and don’t succumb to the circumstances of it.
Love and give infinitely.
Experience all there is to.
Chase after your dreams and wishes.
Live a fulfilling life for the both of us.
Live.
Every second we’re alive, we have the chance to recreate ourselves.
From the second our optics open and witness the sun radiating above us, we’re given a new opportunity to live the life we want to- to become the person we wish to be.
We can shed off our old armor and become shells of our former selves.
It’ll be hard.
But you’re strong.
Kill the part of yourself that you despise.
Let the part of you that wants to thrive be born.
Do this everyday till your former self is nothing but a memory you reminisce back on with gratitude for helping you become a better version of yourself.
Live.
Megatron had to stop multiple times to not burst out sobbing. He felt like he had failed her, and in a way, he had. She wanted him to become someone great, the bot Megatron- no, Megatronus had said he would become, yet he hadn’t. He became far worse than what it had initially begun as.
However, now, he had a chance to change things. It wouldn’t be easy of course, but he was going to try until he died.
When he finally got his emotions under control, he looked up to see night had fallen and the stars shined brightly.
My dear (Y/n), I may have failed you once, but not again. I vow that I will be better. I swear it upon my life and sword. And under your name, Cybertron will be the best it had ever been.
Original Poem
Sorry I haven’t been posting! School is crazy and I’m packing to move houses so I ended up getting super busy! I’ll try to post requests soon, but I can’t make any promises. This was my own request, so I hope you enjoyed my idea!
