Another commission for @sunderedazem, featuring @azems-familiar's Lelesu and Haurchefant in a series of 'what if' photos. :') Who among us has not wondered. Thank you for trusting me with them. <3
[Song is Again from Fruits Basket covered by AmaLee.]
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Ask and ye shall recieve- anyway, I'm thinking these might be fun prompts for you! Especially the "How am I supposed to sleep next to ypu knowing what you did?" Ish one
“how do you expect me to sleep next to you at night knowing what you did?”
oh you. oh you.
i had to do some bending to make this work. i'm not precisely sure that time exists for this to play out as it does here. also, i had to put kit in a pretty bad place at this point of shb. not a far leap, but definitely a darker, most self-loathing one. i'm also not sure this question she asks would ever be a consideration, but that's the beauty of an au, you can do almost anything if you try hard enough.
under a cut because... i suppose some of it is dodgy, considering their respective mental states and the fact that this is ardbert's stolen body. nothing is nsfw, but it's implied.
if you want more context, i did write an au fic i reference.
~*~
Kit stared across the room, bedding pulled around her. The chill of the floor beneath her feet was the only thing grounding her to the reality of the moment. To the gravity of what she’d done. No, not done, past tense. Of what she was doing. Present tense. Again.
The first time had been… a fluke. An indiscretion. Perhaps even a moment of weakness rooted in morbid curiosity. A poor decision born of loneliness and isolation. Elidibus’ confession at the lookout over Lakeland had sounded confused, irrational, and impossible. The words of a man who was no longer engaging with reality, mistaking her for another. But then he’d used her name—not a title bestowed upon her, but her actual name—and he was no longer the only one confused. What he claimed was impossible, and yet she needed to believe it so desperately that she indulged it.
She had no excuses after that first time. Or the second. Or the third. It was past time to admit that she was actively participating in something that she should not have been with someone she should not have. Someone who one moment was buried deep inside her, proclaiming how much he missed her, loved her, and the next reassuring her that he fully intended to end her very existence all the same. Angry at himself for weakness in the face of all which was at stake, and angry at her for… causing it. Apparently.
After she realized she could accidentally summon him to her, she quickly learned how to do it on purpose. And she did. She called him to her to see what would happen. To see how far his obsession went. And, were she honest, to see where her own ended.
He paced behind her. He always paced after, sinking into his rage and determination once more as their pulses settled and he focused on redressing. Though, anger wasn’t exactly what she would call it. It had morphed over the short time they repeated this mistake into what felt more akin to self-loathing. A feeling she knew too well, as it turned out. What froze her in place and trapped her in her thoughts compelled him to rail about her Pendants room for the duration of the brief time he ever remained.
“This changes nothing,” he repeated. Another familiar refrain, the reminder that for all his proclamations of love, she was still his enemy. The one with who fault for all his woes lie. The one whose death was the only path to his victory. His duty. The obstacle to, as he put it, saving the world. Both heroes from their perspectives, their purposes at an impasse, even this bizarre, mutual allure of what was forbidden could not resolve it. In fact, Kit was fairly certain it only worsened everything.
“I know.” She couldn’t look at him. She didn’t need to. He would still be naked, moving about the room in a stolen body and avoiding looking at her.
“Yet you continue to call me forth.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “You continue to answer.”
Silence, apart from the forced breath through his nose.
She closed her eyes again, waiting. Why he just did not carry out his plan when she was like this—unarmed, confused, and vulnerable—she could not say. Certainly it would be faster than whatever mutual misery they inflicted upon one another. Did he not want his vengeance? For what reason did he prolong the inevitable? In a few minutes he would roughly gather her to him again, crushing her against Ardbert’s chest and inhaling into her hair. Then he would grind out between his teeth a lament for what he could not remember. And she would welcome it.
Kit swallowed. “Next time—”
“There will be no next time,” he said. Cold. Defiant.
“Next time, maybe you could not… use that body.”
He spun about, a cruel smile touching the mouth. “I would be a fool to surrender my greatest weapon.”
“He was my friend,” she murmured. Another thing that did not exist in the past tense, yet something she could not be bothered to explain. “And you violated him. His memory. His legacy.”
He sniffed. “How the Warrior of Darkness spouts hypocrisy.”
She looked up at him, a useless feeling of longing continuing to spur her forward into foolishness. “How do you expect me to sleep next to you at night knowing what you did?” As close as she could come to an invitation. One she could not decide if she wanted him to accept or not.
“That,” he said, cold blue eyes boring into her even as grief hung over him, “will never be something about which you need worry.”
“Elidibus.” She stood, feeling small before him despite her height over him. “We could… stop this. All of it and—”
“No!” he shot. “No. This cannot be stopped. Do you not—” He clenched a hand into a fist. “Of course you do not. You could not understand. How could you ever understand?” He frowned, a conflict waging across his face. His mouth moved as if he would say more, then the more familiar vacancy took over his eyes, and it was lost. The air shifted, a rift opened, and he strode forward toward it. “Do not summon me again. I will not answer.”
Commission for @sunderedazem of their and @azems-familiar's polycule. :3 Poor Hades isn't having a good time at game night. Corrain is though. Thanks for trusting me with them!
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Today's commission is a birthday gift for @sunderedazem from @azems-familiar! (And from me too. 😘) I was informed that this particular coat from my most popular gpose was rather...inspiring, so of course we had to put him in it again just for you, Davi. >:3 These two messes are adorable and I love them, thank you for having me pose them. <3
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hi! yay! welcome! i can't be concise apparently so, a cut for you!
8. what is one of their biggest regrets? has it had an effect on how they act moving forward, for better or worse?
i think kit's biggest regrets are that she was quick to take things at face value because people told her that's how things just were. here and there along the way of her journey she fought in the name of something that seemed straightforward. usually it was in the name of what had to happen for the greater good (a burden she wears like a lead cape). ascians are evil and trying to destroy the world (yes, but...), hydaelyn is good and loves the world and wants what is best for everyone (yes, but...), the crystal exarch is trying to save his world and yours (yes, but...), the warriors of darkness are trying to kill you (yes, but...), zodiark is the source of all evil and corrupt and power hungry (uh... akshully...). none of these, save one big one, are lies per se, but they are all things she looks back on and wonders if she could have changed the fallout she carries if she'd just given it a little more thought. which is an unfair thing to place on her own shoulders. there is nuance that was unavailable to a lot of people, the scions included, for so long, and she did the best she could with the knowledge they all had to work with.
she very much tries to take that caution going forward.
9. The Warrior of Light has been through quite a lot, but what is a moment, big or small, that bolstered and renewed their spirit? Was it a cup of hot cocoa or a lovingly crafted sandwich? Did someone give them a few words or a gesture at just the right time that meant the world to them? (Of course, this can be a canon event or headcanon!)
oh, so many. so many little moments along the way. there were so many times kit just wanted to lie down and give up, and while she never would, the strength to move forward came in sometimes surprising places. there are the obvious larger moments, ardbert on the first and in the final gasp, hythlodaeus time and again throughout the story, emet-selch showing up when she called during seat of sacrifice. certainly, but this wants the small ones, so i'll try to rein myself in here.
minfilia telling kit just how much she means to her. i forget the exact phrasing, but i recall it striking a chord. early days with the scions made kit feel like a tool more than a person, but minfilia calling her a friend was restorative.
alisaie, time and again, is just a fount of this. even if it isn't her direct words, her very existence in kit's orbit pushes her on all the time. alisaie looks up to her so much that kit can't help but take her words and march on. kit probably has one of those 'do it for her' simpsons posters in her room that is just alisaie's face all over it.
ryne. ryne and gaia. ryne and gaia and their coffee biscuits and the idea that they deserve all the time the world has to offer them. their whole everything is something that pushes her on. i absolutely know that there were moments during the final days that she just had to remember their laughs to renew her determination when all felt lost.
i couldn't find an exact moment without doing ng+ for heavensward, but estinien, again and again, whether he realized it or not, spurred her on. likely nothing he did consciously, as he was certainly going through his own journey at the same time. a word here or there would have been all it took. maybe just a casual comment as they watched alphinaud sleep, or a quiet moment after losing ysayle. those really stuck with her. if he could keep going, so could she. i'm always threatening to write some jock bro story for them, but his voice intimidates me so i've yet to take this leap. lol.
weird ones, like emet-selch's weird 'wink wink, nudge nudge' speech before mt. gulg. the one-two of that plus ardbert's echoing her own feelings on it out loud immediately after. that probably doesn't count as little though.
every. kind. word. elidibus. ever said to her. he had no way of knowing this, but it came at a time she needed it.
thanks so much for the ask! here's the list if anyone wants to participate, either by sending or receiving.
