T ID: Bold title text reading "cosmosundry". End PT ID.
A sys term where the system/person uses Star in place of terms like Alter, Headmate, part. this can be for many reasons. fun, identity, neurodivergence, ectera.
ProtoStar - the alternative to fragment/segment/shard
Star - the alternative to alter/headmate/facet
constellation - the alternative to system/collective
milkyway - the entirety of all systems/collectives in one body/veil
[Image ID: In Alt Text. ]
understand these terms were made for Everyone. please do not gatekeep nor get mad if someone makes something similar! everyone deserves something that fits them!
-Sundry(umbrella flag)
Term made by me(Lovely), so was the flag!
Note ; (you don't need to include the other terms, we just do because we already thought of it plus it's helpful! you don't need to use everything!)
PT ID: Bold title text reading "sundry". End PT ID.
A sys term system where the system/person uses [x] in place of terms like Alter, Headmate, part. this can be for many reasons. fun, identity, neurodivergence, ectera.
[Image ID: a flag with 7 horizontal stripes. The four outer stripes are thick, the three inner stripes are thin. from top to bottom the strips are a gradient from black to white to black. in each corner is a rounder light grey triangle that acts as a frame to the rest of the flag. End ID.]
understand these terms were made for Everyone. please do not gatekeep nor get mad if someone makes something similar! everyone deserves something that fits them!
If you coin any terms under this umbrella feel free to tag us!(pretty please)
Term made by me(Lovely), Flag made by the current main fronters(Lovely, LS.RF., Wonder, Polaris, and Solaris)!
PT ID: Bold title text reading "OceanwaveSundry". End PT ID.
A sys term where the system/person uses riptide in place of terms like Alter, Headmate, part. this can be for many reasons. fun, identity, neurodivergence, ectera.
Tide - the alternative to fragment/segment/shard
Riptide - the alternative to alter/headmate/facet
Sea - the alternative to system/collective
Ocean - the entirety of all systems/collectives in one body/veil
hi as probably-not-a-persecutor but someone who defaults hard to Fight in stressful situations, your blog is like. really great? like idk just im sitting in the corner of the school office and it Is okay to get angry and it Is okay to want to fight or want to hurt people, it doesn't mean i'm inherently bad, it just means i'm struggling and doing my best - rust wilbur of the sundry system
I've been on the verge of a mental breakdown the past week or so and because of it my brain is undergoing heavy renovation.
I don't even know who I'm writing this to. I guess a part of me hopes jellyfish will see this but that's just cruel to him... I also just want to keep track of everything happening if I can. Losing memories hurts too much
The gatekeepers of our system have initiated something called the "Disney protocol." Something along those lines.
basically I've been feeling so unsafe lately - even though the only thing putting us in danger is triggers - that they're moving Disney based introjects toward the front for a while and sectioning off some of the more regular alters. My brain is incorrectly telling me I'm young again and living with my father, so we need to revert to older comforts. That means Disney rather than recent fandoms basically.
I'm tired. I'm so very tired. Also I figured out the reason for one of my triggers today, yay trauma
there are so many new voices I'm hearing. Some of newer alters passing through, some of alters that have been around for a long time that I just didn't know existed.
I'm gonna post some writing once in a while to vent some stress and help me figure out what's going on. It will be similar to the Triodia stuff I was writing on my main account but more jumbled, less linear.
and I think one of the things I hate the most is I can never talk about them. Inw I always have trouble communicating with everyone, and otw I have no one to talk to about system things or trauma.
it's not that I couldn't, it's that the people I can talk to either wouldn't understand or I'm too afraid to spill my guts to.
So what do I do? I sneak into tumblr (when I know it isn't good for my mental health) to write a vent post, instead of writing in a diary like a normal person.
After all the shit I've been through, the years of trauma, the misunderstandings, the utter amount of betrayal whether purposeful or not... I need to protect myself. So it all builds up in my soul, until I'm so triggered or overwhelmed that my system shoves me inside. And then I just scream. I isolate myself for everyone's protection, and I turn into a literal banshee and scream until some of the pain fades away. Or, I write. I write and write until I fall asleep and don't even remember afterwards what words I typed.
I don't know why I'm explaining this all. Trying to remind myself of who I am, I suppose. Because I change so often, it's become a part of who I am.
That's what Triodia means, you know. "One who frequents crossroads."
I've been stuck at crossroads my whole life, too terrified of failure or pain to make a decision. Crossroads are where I'm safe. Virtually untouchable, except for the march of time. I may not be able to turn back, but I at least know where I've been. As for where I'm going, I don't have to figure that out. I just stand there, like Hekate, hounds howling in the distance.
The whole reason I started writing this was because I miss so many things. I miss my sisters, my cats, my friends, sometimes I even miss my father.
I dream about all of them, except one. My soulmate. I don't know why I don't dream of him, but I never do. It's like my mind knows it's something that should only be touched by my heart. My jellyfish.
Today I miss my friends because they UNDERSTOOD. They knew what it was like to be in a system, to create things, to hide from trauma, to hide from love. And with them, I created. I wrote stories, recounted memories, even walked with some through our minds with meditation. I could picture what their innerworld looked like. But now that I think of it, how often did I tell her what mine looked like? The details?
I knew what their stairs looked like in my imagination, the outfits, the arrangement of furniture. I tried to share our world too, but it didn't happen often. Maybe it's because I wasn't as good an artist. Maybe it's because it was so hard for me to see. Maybe it's because a spaceship was so hard to explain. Maybe it's because she didn't care enough.
It's stupid to post this. It really is. I don't want people swarming me, trying to be my friend. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I don't want people who hurt me continuing to try to make amends. None of that is fair to anyone. I don't know what I want. I suppose I hope posting this will send some sort of message or teach some sort of lesson to my future self, or maybe even reach the one friend I do have who understands but that I can't find a way to explain these feelings to. Maybe this post will inspire a reader to do something to help themselves, or maybe it will just sit here, a single drop of dew caught in a spiderweb early in the morning.
Whatever comes from this, I'm just glad I got it all out.
We have many newly formed, split, and resurfaced alters recently. Most are due to the stress we (and our host) are experiencing from current health concerns. Most notable is a boy named Julian, a funny guy whose personality, as Arcadia says, "is a combination of chaotic academia, queer disaster Shakespeare, and Gen Z shitposting." When we get the chance we will post some funny quotes from him interacting with others.
