Sunfire: Resurrection Ch. 13
Not sure why I’m uploading this here but it’s worth a shot!
Ao3 and FF.net
Ch 13: Our New Reality Pt. 1
“You touch things lightly or deeply; you move along because life herself moves, and you can’t stop it.” — Jim Harrison
Two chapter updates this month. :)
(More details in the Ao3 link.)
The radio was barely audible. The speakers were halfway through humming something only Aunt Cass would recognize. It didn't stop her from drumming her thumbs against the steering wheel, though.
The developed parts of the city had faded into the industrial sector. Neon lights replaced yellowed street lamps, and handmade signs were plastered along empty shop windows.
Every orange streetlight was a second closer to answers.
And Cass could eventually figure out how bad it truly was. They would have a diagnosis, an angle out of this mess, and no more infighting.
Finally, some answers.
And maybe Tadashi's outbursts would fade away, she hoped. Or maybe it was going to be something they dealt with from now on -- a condition that went for the foreseeable future.
She sunk further into her seat and sighed. She just wished she didn't have to find out the details so late.
It was like standing in front of the paramedics again. Just... waiting. Except no medic was coming to say, 'There was nothing left.'
Oh, there was definitely something. EMTs missed an entire person. How long was he left behind anyway? The image of Tadashi buried under rubble flashed in her mind before she pinched the bridge of her nose and willed it away.
The crying, yelling, and confusion settled -- a plus right now.
Now, they were expecting some kind of reaction from Tadashi. The only green flag she had was that he lightened up. Less pressing himself against the truck door and more leaning into the cushion, fighting to stay conscious. He still had bags under his eyes, sure. And the new graphic t-shirts she bought him still looked stiff.
Yet the sickly, weightless feeling in her stomach waned. No pressure from sterile LEDs hanging overhead or thinly cushioned wooden chairs in an empty waiting room, only the sound of tires treading over wet asphalt and both boys struggling to stay awake.
It wasn't until Tadashi shot up, knocked his knuckles to the window, and motioned toward a dimly lit outlet straight ahead that Cass felt the anxiety wash over her again.
"Here!" he said, sitting up straight.
"Here?" she asked before punching the brake, and a half-asleep Hiro flopped to her side. "Honey, warehouses are further back." She watched as he tried to explain himself, the words refusing to come out.
"I know," was all he could manage.
Cass hesitated. She could keep driving and ignore the detour. Things were seemingly better and the rain had dried by then.
Still, she could keep driving. But this was different, right? When someone returned from the dead, what was the game plan?
It wasn't the same as waiting on acceptance letters from the university, waiting for the boys to be released from jail, or waiting for reality to come crashing down when a coroner walked in with no sign of good news on his face.
Cass pursed her lips together into a thin line and looked at him, the creases along her forehead coming into full view.
It always was an accident, she reminded herself. They just got another chance to pick up the pieces. And if it meant pulling into a suspicious-looking storefront with a yellowed neon sign, then that's what needed to be done.
Meanwhile, Hiro's eyes drooped with every guitar strum coming from the radio. Whatever was said between Cass and his brother was lost on him. Nothing registered.
It wasn't until the truck rocked off the paved road onto loose gravel that his eyes truly opened up.
A lit-up plastic sign reading, 'Sato’s Garage' hung above the street. A line of outlet shops hid in the dark except for a few spots illuminated by neon and indoor light fixtures. A hole-in-the-wall, Hiro realized.
“I just have to see someone first," Tadashi smiled. "It’ll be alright." Reluctantly, Cass turned into a faded parking spot. "Questions tomorrow?" he joked before the edges of his smile sank.
Their aunt went quiet as Hiro turned to blink at her.
It wasn't the perfect place she imagined her nephew would find help. There were potholes littering the parking lot, a few beat-up cars ditched in the shadows, and iron bars lining the windows.
Yet she remembered seeing Tadashi in the living room, caked in extinguisher foam earlier. Now, he was sitting in her truck with his still-fried hair in an unironed shirt, giving her the same grin he knew would reassure her.
Cass hardened her expression and pushed away any suspicion she had left.
"Questions tomorrow," she said softly, surrendering the vehicle in park.
Tadashi swung open his door while she offered him a worried look.
“I’ll be a couple of minutes, I promise. I just need to grab a few things.”
He slammed the door and ran inside as Cass' shoulders dropped. Again, Tadashi disappeared behind industrial lights and a front desk, making his way towards the back. The sound of the radio was the only thing breaking their silence and continued to hum for what felt like ages.
She wanted to trust him… but something inside made that hard. It felt like a stunt that dragged on for far too long.
Hiro sat up to watch Tadashi disappear behind the desk. The drowsiness pulling him down earlier was gone. His leg started to bounce while the same lyrics cycled through for the nth time.
"What do you think he's gonna get?" Hiro asked, rubbing his eyes.
"H-he probably tried to make a life out here,” she guessed while snapping back into parent mode. “Clothes, shoes, a wallet maybe. I really don't know, hun."
The thought of Tadashi having to buy a new wallet seemed funny. But sleep kept Hiro quiet as he willed himself to sit up from his slouch. Trying to live as someone without a name... well, that was nearly impossible. Still, a very 'Tadashi thing to do,' like build a robot that contained over ten thousand procedures and functioned as a part of society. Seemed more like a life mission than a college assignment.
Yet there was another question Hiro wanted to ask his brother himself: 'Who else knows about his condition?'
It was something that had to wait. After their fiasco in the cafe and then in the truck, questions really weren't on the agenda. And he still didn’t have a great apology for his older brother either. He’d said, maybe, two sentences in a weird, half-hearted apology. To his shock, Tadashi went with it.
A start, but not what Hiro was hoping for. He was messing this up. Bad.
They were still trying to talk, but everything was stilted. Yet at the same time, Tadashi wasn’t fragile. If anything, he thrived under pressure. He could find a way around things. It’ll be fine, he reassured himself. In time.
Except they didn’t have time. Krei was still lingering in the back of his mind. He just had to find a way to say it without words: I get it. I know you’re different. But you’re still you. You’re still... you're still my hero. Despite the obvious feeling, Hiro was mentally back on the SFIT Showcase stage with a microphone in hand. The words weren’t clear and the lights were too blinding to see straight.
At least, though, he could understand Tadashi somewhat. At least, their situation seemed to be getting easier despite the night still not being over. It was the only thing he had to say, ‘Sorry.’ Or maybe he just needed to not think about it at all.
Soon, the music faded and the cabin went quiet. The silence between him and Cass was now eating at him.
"How far do you think he walked?" Hiro asked after a while. Cass furrowed her eyebrows before turning his way.
"What do you mean?"
"He had to run into someone at some point," he swallowed. "He had to get help somehow. "How far do you think he went? To, um, try to stay hidden? To try and keep us 'safe?'"
Cass carded her hand through his hair. "Oh sweetie," she paused. "I-I don't know. He's not all in one piece, but I can promise you this is a chance for things to be better." She pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "The hard part is over."
Yet as the words came out, Cass realized the hard part barely began. They would have to adjust to Tadashi's new limits. There would be lapses in memory and reintegrating him into a world conditioned to his memorial rather than the person.
Not to mention the fire part. Ugh, did he remember running up those steps that night? And what did he do during his first few hours while he was cognizant? Cass rubbed the side of her temple and shut her eyes before shoving those feelings down -- a later thought. She couldn't stomach it right now.
Things would be different with Tadashi around. And every bit of it was welcome even though it made her insides twist up. She planned on squishing his face so tight he couldn't squirm away once they were home. She would hug him until it hurt.
But then, she turned to face Hiro and watched as the realization hit. His eyebrows crumpled into something caught between comprehension and grief. And the relief of no longer arguing quickly turned into something hollow.
He's not all in one piece, the words repeated themselves in his mind. Ever since he found this version of Tadashi, all he did was lie, hide, and try to make reality easier to digest.
The Tadashi he knew... the Tadashi he remembered... wasn’t here anymore.
Hiro’s expression fractured into a hundred-yard stare. Every photo, every video he ingrained into his memory -- it was never going to be the image he carved out of his brother's legacy over the past several years.
It was just the beginning of a new life with a stranger.
Hiro flipped around in his seat and faced the bed of the truck.
"Ow!" he yelled, voice cracking. Aunt Cass smacked his good arm.
"No!" she cried as fans began to whir in the background. "Don't wake Baymax up! Not right now. Just wait a couple of minutes, please? You and your brother will be alright!"
"It's not for him," he said flatly.
Well, okay, it was about his brother. But that was reasonable too, right?
It's not like he couldn't deal with the fact that Tadashi was alive. But the fire, the daily reminders of the accident from now on, having him back but with an ounce less patience and a handful of missing memories...
No, it was too much of a price. That couldn’t be right.
Yet it was true. Tadashi was gone. Like, completely gone at one point. Hiro pictured himself holed up on his side of the attic during the first few days after his death. The one person who could convince him of anything simply stopped being a presence in his life.
That part was over. But now, his brother was here in pieces. A-and it wasn't even all of him.
It's weird. It's complicated. It was more difficult than he imagined.
Just... Tadashi can't be broken too.
Baymax turned to look at him through the rear window as Hiro put his hand up to the sliding glass.
"How long do I have to be angry with him before it doesn't matter?" he asked.
Cass saw Tadashi through the window rounding the corner, talking to someone who hadn't emerged into the main lobby yet. Tadashi had a smile spread across his face, almost unnaturally. His exhaustion was visible even several feet away.
"Not very long," she stressed.
"Well then," Hiro sighed before sliding the tiny glass window open, "this will only take a second."
I just need someone here who won't try to soften it all, he said to himself as Cass groaned.
I just want a friend. I just want my brother.
And right now, the closest thing I have is his unfinished project from SFIT.
Baymax wasn't a person. But for every mission, every misstep, he was there to help Hiro take two steps back to rationalize things.
For every moment Tadashi couldn't be there.
He could help. The sound of Baymax standing upright and leaning against the fiberglass reverberated from the back.
"What seems to be the problem?" Baymax asked, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil boiling inside of Hiro.
His mouth opened and closed. Just say what's wrong. What's bothering you?
"My arm is throbbing," Hiro said, sticking his hand through the window. "Can you scan it?"
"Of course. Would you also like me to check-"
"Just this, buddy. It's not much."
He let his shoulders fall as Baymax's scanner ran across his arm.
Routine. Something he could count on. But he couldn't say that. Having his brother's robot around gave him an objective and filled a void. Yet now Tadashi was only 20 feet away.
"You have a slight contusion along the lateral tricep. You also complained of 'throbbing,' which may be a concern later. Would you like to-?"
"I-it's not that serious," he spit out while shutting his eyes. "I can handle it. I, um, just need you to be around for a second. Okay?"
There was silence as Baymax settled in the back. Cass watched, her eyes switching between the two.
"We're gonna be alright, you know."
Hiro sank back into his spot in the middle, "Yeah. Yeah, I know."
"Mm-hmm." Cass motioned to her side of the two-seater pickup truck, "C'mere."
"Ew, no don't."
"Come here!" She looped her arm around his neck and yanked him into a tight hug. Hiro only leaned in because there was no use in fighting back. Cass had an iron grip.
"There are some things Baymax can't make easier, sweetie." He huffed, his face smushed by her arm and shoulder.
"I just want to know if it's really him," he mumbled into her sleeve. "Not just, like, his face. I need to know the person I knew before is still, like, present. You know?" Hiro's hair spiked into her face, but she was already committed.
"I know, kiddo. I know." Cass trying to reassure him was a nice sentiment. The only problem was there was so much she didn't know. Krei, Callaghan, and him sneaking out at night were all problems he hid from her. He could reason through those blips by himself. Yet this wasn't a 'good guys versus' situation. This was morally gray, vague, and raw. They lost Tadashi in a matter of minutes and there didn't seem to be any reasoning behind it. "Think you can shelf Baymax until Tadashi's used to be back with us?" she asked. Hiro stared into the shop lost in thought.
"No," he whispered. Soloing without Baymax was terrifying, but Hiro was older. He had grown out of his anger. He attempted to look up at Cass. "But I can try."
She turned to give him another hug, "That's my nephew." She let go of Hiro and turned back, instructing Baymax to call it a night. The sound of vinyl deflating behind Cass made her let go of some of the tension she was holding onto.
Yet, the sound of wind chimes cut their time short. They both sat up to see an elderly Japanese man walking Tadashi out of the shop, a wide grin spread across. Tadashi followed suit, carrying a large cardboard box filled to the brim with clothes and crumpled papers. Replaceable things, they noted.
He looked happy to see him. Yet his brother was trying to walk away and end their muted conversation. Still, the man followed before deciding to head back into the outlet. Tadashi finally managed to step away; his fake smile faded into a grimace with every step closer to the truck. And yeah, that made sense. There was no easy way to say bye and live another life overnight.
His brother propped the cardboard box in one arm and grabbed onto the door handle. Except Tadashi’s hand was frozen over the grip. Cass and Hiro watched as he stood there, overthinking it.
Just open it, Hiro thought. What are you doing? Just get in the truck.
Tadashi was psyching himself up: Just get it over with, he told himself. Just finish the ride and everything will sort itself out. Still, his family was going to ask questions and the ache in his side was already starting to hurt.
This wasn't normal, he thought. Nothing about driving out of town around midnight to burst into flames wasn't normal. His family didn't deserve to see this.
Somehow, the plastic bar clicked open. Without skipping a beat, Tadashi shoved the box onto the weather mat but couldn't bring himself to hop in the car.
"So," Cass pushed, "Who’s your friend?"
Tadashi looked down at his feet and swung his head around, "Sato let me stay around if I helped out around his warehouses. He's a good guy. It wasn't luxurious, but I pitched in, I guess." Cass listened but didn't respond. Keep talking, she wanted to tell him. Say more. But her nephew would fill the gap. “I, uh, helped him with some odd jobs here and there. Temp stuff. Free lunches, things like that. He kept some things I had."
Hiro narrowed his eyes at him until his mouth fell open, "Oh my God," he said, his brother glancing toward him, "I can't believe you used old people."
"What?" Tadashi asked, thrown off.
A sense of urgency rang through Hiro's voice, "You were lost, hazy, and you worked?!"
Tadashi frowned, "Yes?"
"What were you thinking?!" he asked while running his hands through his hair. His brother looked startled before rubbing the back of his neck.
"I um, thought, 'Man, everything hurts and I honestly don't remember the food being this expensive. And that I can't just not do something.'" Cass and Hiro blinked from their seats in the truck before she let out an accidental laugh. Hiro shot her a terrified glance before looking back down at his brother.
"I had a rough start finding my footing, alright?" Cass tried to stop laughing and held her hands across her face. Her eyes were peaking through the openings between her fingers.
"I'm sorry, honey!" she tried to say. "Just get in the car and we can head home." She wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the past 24 hours, but the tone had been so serious. Laughing was a relief. Tadashi turned to look at his brother, who gaped back blankly, somewhat horrified.
"I can't believe your GPA didn't help you out," he said without thinking. Cass laughed harder into her hands as her hair obscured her face.
"You're awful," Tadashi mumbled.
"Really?!" Hiro said, "We're the awful ones? That was your first thought coming to?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he said as he rolled his eyes, held his side, and grabbed onto the handlebar to lift him into the truck. "Payback and stuff. Not my brightest moment. Let's just go before something else happens."
Cass lightened up as he pulled the seat belt down. The muted sound of nylon and polyester sliding and buckles clicking filled the truck as they went silent. The sound of the radio washed out and made the ride all the more awkward.
“Can’t believe you washed up so young,” Hiro mumbled.
“Hiro, I swear. I will walk back to the cafe. I don’t care if it takes all night.”
“Listen!” he started before being cut off.
"Why're you being such a jerk?"
"It's a defense mechanism?” He threw his hands up, “I don't know! This is weird! All of this is weird! You know that already!"
“Yeah and you're irritating sometimes, but you don't see me pointing it out.” Tadashi glared at him before hanging his head in his hands. "Can we please go, Aunt Cass?" She didn't reply. He peeked through his hands to see his aunt trying to wipe her face clean. Her eyes turned pink and watery as she tried to shield her face from view.
“Cass?” he asked, concerned.
“No! I just…” she lifted her hair out of her face and wiped her cheeks with her wrist. She was crying but also chuckling with a wide, genuine smile, “I just didn't realize how much I missed these dumb fights.”
Tadashi’s face went red in embarrassment and guilt. He never meant to leave like this. He opened his mouth to speak – to apologize and offer some kind of comfort – yet Hiro cut him off.
“Sorry,” Hiro finally said. “For the questions, I mean. I took it a little too far this morning. And tonight too. Sorry.”
Tadashi’s face creased into a worried expression.
“No,” he stuttered, rubbing his face, “No, you don’t have to apologize. I--. I don’t have an apology that can fix any of this. But I’m glad we’re stuck out here. I mean, as much as we can be.” His brother offered a slight smile. It wasn’t the same mischievous, proud grin Hiro knew, but it was something.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Cass laughed. “It’s our turn to take care of you. We're not giving up on you that easily. Come on, just a couple more streets.” With that, she threw the truck in reverse and pulled back onto the main road. Tadashi ran his fingers along the seams of his jeans as he tried to relax back into his seat.
Cass was the strongest person he knew. She handled their parent’s death and even his own. All she had left was Hiro and was well aware he kept secrets from her.
And despite the worst, she had to laugh at it.
And Tadashi was almost feeling better. There was still shame in being different: His face felt warm and red with humiliation; butterflies filled his stomach to the point of nausea. But he had to do this. He knew combusting would make him feel better. And even if he refused, they were already halfway there.
It was their new normal.
But of course, he was overthinking.
On the other hand, Hiro was still lost in his head. He had to see where Tadashi spent his nights wandering around. And his apology still kind of sucked. However, they could poke him now. Tadashi wasn't some outlandish entity that changed entirely. There were pieces. He just had to stop. Stop overthinking. Stop thinking this isn't him. Stop trying to force him fit into something that has reasoning or logic. Sometimes, bad things just happen. That was a part of life Hiro had first-hand experience with. And he could do better to make it up to him.
Yet Tadashi got the message anyway and the tension no longer pulled them down. That was all Hiro could ask for tonight.
The drive wasn’t long after. Cass pulled up to an empty lot and her hold on the steering wheel loosened. She switched her lights off despite the coastline being obscured by cargo ship containers and cranes.
“You sure you’ll be okay?” she asked one more time. Tadashi nodded with the same slight smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I’ll be okay," he said. "No extinguishers this round, alright?” He popped open the passenger door before looking at how far the ground was.
Cass and Hiro didn’t need to see the worst parts. Of course, they saw his outburst in the cafe. Hiro, twice already. Yet the strain lingered.
He didn’t want them to see him on fire. He took a deep breath before snagging a shirt from the box and jumping out. “Give me a few minutes,” Tadashi said gently. “And please,” he added awkwardly, “don’t look.”
Hiro was silent as they watched Tadashi disappear a second time. His footsteps faded through puddles of rainwater as he disappeared around the corner.
“He’ll be fine,” Cass reassured him. Except, it wasn't for Hiro. She was trying to soothe herself. Cass even rolled down the side windows – just in case he yelled for help.
But Tadashi was fine. The pain in his side waned throughout the day despite showing up later. Having no control in the middle of the afternoon wasn’t exactly the good part, but it was enough relief to make combustion easier to deal with. It wasn’t as debilitating as before.
Tadashi slid open a metal door leading into an unused warehouse. Familiar, industrial LED lamps lit up the inside as he mentally prepared. Coincidentally, he was here before. It was originally meant to store hardware tools but had gone abandoned the past several months. But that wasn’t what he was focusing on.
Getting it over with, those were his words. Tadashi held his breath, waiting for the flames to surround him without notice. He took his time trying to settle down, finally allowing the fire to engulf him. Just this once. The flames can surround him again, and it won’t be as terrifying as earlier. Tadashi didn’t have to face it alone.
Yet there was no sign of his pyrokinesis surfacing. He looked down at his hands, eyebrows furrowed. He just needed to let go. He opened his palm up and tried to induce something. Anything.
Don’t worry about what Cass and Hiro must be imagining in the car, he thought. It’s not like they didn’t know what was going on. He sighed, rubbing his hand across the bottom half of his face.
They were well beyond aware at this point. But why was this nerve-racking all of a sudden? It’s not like it bothered him before.
Well, it was bothersome – at least, not to the point of feeling like some kind of outsider.
Tadashi threw his arms down before slumping his hands around the back of his neck, his head bowing to look at his scuffed-up tennis shoes. Out of all the times he tried to suppress the fire from rising… this was just frustrating.
It wasn’t like it was wrong, he tried to reason. Yet something deep inside of him didn't want to have to go through this. He made a life with what few details he had. And even then, his abilities weren't something he publicized. Having his family around him should have made things easier. But it didn't.
The fire was a private memory he’d buried. Allowing himself to feel some freedom while someone else waited felt… weird. Still, these were the limits his physiology had. Come on, he willed.
Again, nothing.
Tadashi felt his face turn red a second time. He paced back and forth before double-checking if the warehouse door was shut. He pushed the sliding door to make sure it was just him. No prying eyes or questions bubbling to the top. The metal bar clanged against the metal lock again. Good. He was safe from the rest of the world.
But you dragged your whole family out here only to be in a panic.
No, he argued with himself. No, that wasn’t what was happening. How messed up would it be to know he had suppressed his health so much, that he managed to lose more control? Relax. Start back from the beginning. He was out here to gain some relief. And it wasn’t supposed to be easy in the first place.
Tadashi tried to allow the fire to rise from his palms. Nothing flickered except the ache in his side. It felt like it had knotted itself up too many times today. So great, nerves, guilt, and shame. The perfect recipe to try and calm down.
He could use that, maybe.
Tadashi could... could remember running. Feeling the pressure of being discovered and needing a safe spot, both from the public and himself. The flames only showed when he was under pressure when there was no other option but to find a way to survive. He wasn’t fueled by anxiety. He used adrenaline.
Warmth flooded his hands and arms as his ache throbbed, this time in a good way. He was finally getting a chance to alleviate some of the pain.
And then Cass popped up in his mind. The image of her running around the cafe buzzed on coffee was blurry. The cafe was full, the line was long, and orders were coming in. He couldn’t make out her face. She was saying something to him, something important. Smoke clouded his vision. Then an alarm went off.
The prickling feeling in his hands disappeared as soon as the pain spread throughout his nerves. He was causing himself to spasm. And, his memories were mixing. Forcing it. Bad idea. He let his shoulders drop as he tried to rebuild his strength.
The oven timer and waking up with no idea who he was were two separate events. He groaned before shutting his eyes to concentrate.
Okay, okay, okay. Forget the showcase fire. Forget the looks on their faces and the sound of Cass screaming in fear – Aagh, no. He could get through this. Just focus, just… remember what it's like to be away from reality while in the middle of whatever mayhem. That’s what he was good at. Being under pressure and knowing how to find a way out. There was something exciting and terrifying about it all. And it didn’t have to be some conjured-up image in his head.
It could be muscle memory.
Tadashi took his shirt off, hyper-aware of the pink scars lining their way from his neck down to his stomach. No use in burning another. He willed the fire to return to his hands, the warm feeling flooding back in full.
It never hurt to let go like this before. But then again, he never had to think about the consequences outside of accidentally incinerating stuff in his hands. His abilities never hurt other people so directly. His family had to watch him struggle to do basic things. But it didn’t matter how they reacted, how his family reacted; Tadashi needed to finish this.
The fire crept out before slowly enveloping the rest of his torso. Steadily, the flames surrounded him like before.
Finally. The fire began to envelop him again.
And then, Tadashi glanced up. He caught himself stealing a glimpse from the stainless steel equipment left to rust as he felt his irises glow orange. Tadashi didn’t look any different aside from the flames. His muddled silhouette was still visible. Black hair stood out as the one thing that seemed unaffected. The blurry reflection in the steel was still him.
He was still Tadashi.
And aside from the initial terror, letting his pyrokinesis take over felt good. It was the one time he could let go of everything. Tadashi’s shoulders fell as his eyes closed. He should’ve slept in the truck.
Yet he had to care for his health if it was the last thing he did tonight.
New and old memories continued to flood his brain while his aches settled. Cass picking them up from school, teaching Hiro how to ride a bike, late nights at rundown restaurants, and working odd shifts with people who he couldn’t name. Other more detailed memories materialized of riding through San Fransokyo on a bike and his grown baby brother starting to come home with his hands stuffed in his pockets, mechanical bits wound up in cash.
It was strange that the vague pictures in his mind were real. Even the giant clock hanging in the attic. It was something he only saw vaguely in his head. Yet when he finally saw it in person, it matched the version in his head, except with details he never noticed before. Everything felt uncanny and foreign.
There were other things. But his recollection of it all was so far removed, every image was blurry and on the edge of vanishing completely. Besides, he was tired and wasn’t in the mood for putting the pieces together. The images were gone.
Tadashi opened his eyes. An orange haze surrounded his field of vision and the fire engulfed him from all sides from his waistline up.
It felt right.
And for a split second, the fire wavered.
The pressure to be the same person as before wasn’t that debilitating, was it? Why was it that hard to pretend this was typical? Still, it was difficult having his family watch from afar and being unable to make it easier. Cass screamed because she cared. And Hiro practically drowned him out of concern. Tadashi never meant for them to see any of it.
Well, holding it in was probably a bad call from the get-go, but whatever. There was no hesitation or second thought. It just happened.
Ultimately, it boiled down to him. And right now, he was tired. Tadashi had the choice to take care of their situation from now on or to keep hiding. Things would get easier in time. But tonight. He needed more time. Still, it would be nice if his pyrokinesis appeared at his convenience. Boy, that would be a game-changer.
So, no. He didn’t know how to go about living – as both the person he was and was going to become.
But for now, he had Cass and Hiro. He could protect the moments that would be worth saving.
The fire finally consumed him, the tension leaving as his mind settled down.
Funny, it usually riled up when he felt like he didn't have a handle on a situation -- when he had to choose between fight or flight.
But don’t think about the house or the danger. Things would be fine. Now was the time to calm down and take a break from the past 48 hours. They’ll find a way to live with it, just like how Tadashi wanted to find a way to protect his family from disaster. And maybe he won’t have to hide away as much. Just not tonight. Everything was happening so fast, and there was no context for why things had turned out so twisted. But Tadashi could picture himself trying to help despite being unsure how to do this new normal thing.
He could heal from it all.
He could be here, at home. Do his best and not put up a front of having to shield his family from the world and himself.
…Even if some parts of him showed no sign of coming back. His memories, his persona from Hiro’s home videos -- nothing was left to salvage. This was the version of himself he had. And at the moment, he was letting the past go.
Now, if only he could hurry up and finish so they could all go to sleep. That was more than enough chaos for today.
