The thing about art is it’s rarely about one thing. Or one experience. It’s a thousand different stories all wrapped into one. It’s from a place of feeling, more often than not, that feeling pulls us through the creative process. At least it does for me. And we are never experiencing just one feeling at a time, everything exists in a spectrum. Which is why it’s important to me from the jump to let y’all know there are going to be discussions of mental health in my analysis, as well as remind you that I’m looking at this through a queer lens.
If you’re looking for a neutral analysis, I hate to break it to you but it doesn’t exist. Just like artist bring multitudes to their art, so do those of us who embark on the expedition of exploring said art. With all of this said, please remember that these are my thoughts, if you disagree that’s fine, but please disagree respectfully and know that if you come into my inbox chatting shit, you’re getting blocked. With all that out of the way, we will begin, where else, but at the beginning.
Palaces by Louis Tomlinson
It's not the same, not the same when it's raining
The decorations are doing my head in
Something strange but familiar tasting
It pulls me in completely
This set of lines made me think, initially, about the way all tours and shows become the same from the wings for performers. Even if the show changes or the company does, the feeling is familiar. But the way the artist experiences it is different based on what is happening away from the venue. Especially if putting on a show isn’t exactly what we want to be doing in that moment. We all bring our personal lives into our work and when it comes to those who perform in any capacity, be it musicians, actors, writers, presenters, or athletes, that can affect the public perception when forgotten by the audience. And that affects everyone involved. We cannot compartmentalise away everything. The same thing applies to those who work outside of the entertainment industry. How often do we hear about people who work in customer service getting told off for things not being 100% perfect by customers? It’s part of the human experience in many ways. The weight of expectations on both ends shapes the experience from start to finish. Deep grief affects performance differently from abundant joy even if they both end with the same results. It becomes an all-consuming rush.
He’s using the story of a club or event as a metaphor for where he’s creating from and creating around but also as a way to talk about so much more.
On the high street deep in the jungle
I see your face that I think I know
To the bar through a tunnel of trouble
You pull me in
The longer I sit with this set of lines, and the song in general, the more it becomes clear that this song is about the intersection of industry and public expectations but also pushing yourself not to bolt when it’s the thing you know you’re inclined to do.
But also, the way art becomes a sort of escape for all of us. Both as artists and fans, it’s a way to bolt without isolating because it brings community. When you put it out it becomes a place for the feeling to live outside of ourselves. And when someone comes to find that art and sees themself in it even if they will never fully know what brought about the art as fully as the creator. And as an artist, your art will never hit different people exactly how you imagine it will.
And while we’re on the topic of public expectations I would be foolish not to mention the way society at large still values heteronormativity. And for those of us who aren’t cisgender and or heterosexual or allo, the expectation to align with that can be something that sounds appealing on the surface. But it’s just another way to self-abandon. Keep that in mind as we move forward.
I, oh l
I'm lost in the time, I don't care for the world outside
Oh I
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
(My mind, my mind)
When nothing is going the way you expect it to it can be easy to retreat. When what you need to do is stay and fight for your truth even if it's just holding onto it in your own mind.
And frankly, I can’t listen to this without thinking about the way the expectations on queer folks can make us feel like we’re drowning especially when the world is finding more ways to drag us down into the pits of despair. I could talk about the placement of palaces’ debut in the set list but that’s a discussion for a later time.
This is a song that exists dancing between two worlds, the private life of a man who is deeply invested in his lover and the public perception. As well as the public relationship he finds himself in over and over again.
When he has to play a part, the palace holds the memories of his private lover (cough cough…Harry) but also the memories of being in community with those who understand the game he has to play. Because they are playing the same game.
I can feel it, something is happening
Is it an attraction I'm overreacting to
Either way, this is not how I planned it
You pull me in completely
I can't drag myself from the oasis
Stop standing still, everything's changing
It'll be written deep into the walls 'round here
It pulls me in
To me, this reads as that oh shit moment when you’re falling for someone that the hetero-normative world says you shouldn’t and you panic. Everything is changing in that instant and suddenly everything the world is telling you you should want is louder than ever. You try to talk yourself out of it. Because you know it makes everything harder, and all of your plans are threatened but you embrace it anyway because this place is a shelter from a storm. But the threat still lingers and so does the compulsive heterosexuality and the struggles that come with that.
I, oh I
I'm lost in the sound, I don't care for the world outside
Oh I
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
(My mind)
I don’t care for the world outside reminds me of so many other pieces all of the other lads, both solo and in the band, have put out but that is also a discussion for another time.
And getting lost in the sound reminds me of the way we all get lost in the art. That sort of floating delicate joy that also comes with falling in love, where nothing else matters but right now and the right now is gonna stick around for good, even if it's only in your memories.
Every fuck up, every fight
Kings and queens and borderlines
There's beauty in the stars tonight
And that's all I know
We know how much the lads love a space reference, see sleepwalking, satellite, etc. But there's also something so beautiful about the fight existing within a place that is secure within him. The palace of his mind becomes a place like space where they can exist entirely free.
I, oh I
I'm lost in the sound, I don't care for the world outside
Oh I
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
(Every fuck up every fight)
You can stay for the night in the palaces of my mind
(Kings and queens and borderlines)
(My mind)
There will be about a million things that will try to pull us but his private lover will always be in his head. Even when they are struggling. Even when the world is a place that isn't safe.
There's so much I could touch on but I've not done entirely and intentionally because I want to take this in the context of the album so I shall revisit when we have that in January.
Long story short, this song, for me, is a sentimental one. Full of resilience in the face of all the things both internally and externally that want you to stop being exactly who you are.
For me, it fits in the same song family as Paradise and All This Time and I have no doubt it will become a rainbow flag song on the next tour. And if it's not, it should be because there's just so much here I haven't even touched on yet that is relevant. And I think the choice of Palaces being the only other new song from the album we got yesterday was a pointed one. Especially given the world outside.
