ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴғιᴅᴀɴᴛᴇ | ℋyeji & ℋeeyeon
If there was a certain moment that they had not seen her with eyes puffed and sagging, perhaps this day was the first. If it was those people who had no knowledge about her, they would mistake her sudden vigor as her first step to recovery. But physical attributes can be very deceiving. Heeyeon might look like a renewed person but no, she isn’t. Inside is still a broken psyche.
The nurses were very lenient and perhaps very complacent. There wasn’t any sort of grand change within her, except the fact that when she woke up, all that she remembered was that she just fell asleep prior, and nothing more. They knew she wasn’t aware of her outburst the night before and how the doctor had made his decision to put her under electroconvulsive therapy as his last resort. She was unaware of it all and though momentary, they’d actually like to see her in her peaceful state. Make her relish that kind of calm. Generously enough, her doctor had allowed her an hour on the garden, hoping that she’d appreciate the simplest beauty of waking up on such a sunny day, breathing and living.
Heeyeon looked very presentable, perhaps the most decent state she has ever been since she entered the center. The buttons of her night dress were properly placed, her hair tied in a neat ponytail, and a pair of baby blue slippers adorned her small feet. She was sitting at the bench located at the farthest side of the garden, near the lined trees and away from the crowd. It was an automatic move of her feet to choose that place, for reasons she did not bother thinking anymore. She was given an hour to herself, an hour to be outside, and an hour alone. For once, she was grateful for it.
Did she like the tranquility she’s immersed in right now? She could not say yes, yet couldn’t say no either. Not that she couldn’t decide which but to be honest, she couldn’t care less. She felt numb, and it is not from the dull headache that she had and is still having from the moment she woke up. Her eyes roamed around the vibrant colors of the green field and the small little flowers budding from the plants, and she still felt blank. She closed her eyes. She feels empty.
People think that they could hide this fact but they were wrong. Heeyeon felt that small change in her, she was sure with the look of the nurses and of the other patients. She knew something happened and she realized she had no memory of it, of at least from yesterday when she had sneaked pen and paper from the doctor’s office. She could’ve tried to remember but her mind was too tired to even think about it. All she wanted was to savor the quiet moment, the emptiness and the numbness all to herself. It has been a good 30 minutes of her own time, her own space. But one dared to invade her borrowed time.
“Aishhh.”
Along with the soft thud of a body dumping itself on the vacant space of her bench was a familiar voice that had ultimately cracked the veil that had kept her from falling back to her dark memories.
What is she doing here?
