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Jan 24, 2024

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Season 1 Episode 22: Captain Jerk

pairing: Ray Manchester/f!reader

summary: Captain Man attempts to boost his image by holding a contest where three winners get a tour of his secret lair. But Henry's friends are among the winners - drama ensues.

rating: M - fluff, angst, silliness, adult language, scary situation, trigger warnings: hostage situation, violence, near-death experience, attempted kidnapping, sad Ray

word count: 6k

Thank you for reading! I (respectfully) yearn for likes, comments, and reblogs. Click for vibes

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~Henry's house~

It was an interesting dinner that night at Henry's house, to say the least. Their food had consisted of pizza, but not any pizza you will have seen. The topping wasn't cheese, pepperoni, olives, or anything normal, it was sushi. The family had wanted to try something new, so here they were, struggling to get the pizza into their mouths with their chopsticks.

"So, who likes my special pizza?" Mrs Hart asked her children, as they fumbled with their food.

"Uhhh, I don't think sushi really works as a pizza topping," Henry told his mom, hoping that if he was honest, it would mean that they wouldn't have to eat the combination again.

"Turn on the TV! Hurry! Turn on the TV!" Mr Hart rushed in from work, interrupting the family mealtime. He ran to the couch, switching the screen on as his wife and children abandoned their sushi pizza and scrambled to see what was happening.

"What's going on?" Mrs Hart asked, wondering what all the commotion was about.

"Today, after work, I stopped off at that massage place..." He started.

"Rub Me Do?" Henry butted in.

"Yeah. And on my way out, a news reporter asked me a question." Mr Hart said proudly, believing he had done something exceptional.

"Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. I knew that one day--" Mrs Hart smiled, glad to support her husband for even the smallest thing, but she was interrupted as the news article came on.

"Shut up, it's on!" Mr Hart silenced any words on his family's lips, staring intently at the monitor.

"Sir, excuse me!" The female reporter grabbed his attention.

"Yes?" Mr Hart said, eyeing the camera in confusion.

"How do you feel about Swellview's ban on plastic bags?" She asked, holding the microphone to his body so she could get every last word.

"Oh, well, I personally believe that some US Americans out there in Swellview, don't use plastic bags, don't have plastic bags, and I believe that our education such as South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere, like, such as..." Mr Hart was clearly caught off guard by the camera crew and the resulting gobbledygook that poured out of his mouth confused both his family and Evelyn Velasco.

"Back to you, Trent." The reporter said, quickly moving on from her interviewee's odd response.

"That was me!" Mr Hart clapped his hands together in excitement.

"Impressive." His wife complimented, not wanting to hurt her husband's feelings.

"Yeah, nailed it, Dad," Piper added sarcastically, cringing at her father's appearance on the TV.

"Wait, wait, wait, shhh, shhh." Henry turned up the volume on the TV as an interesting story came on about Captain Man.

"And on a sad note today, Swellview's very own Captain Man went superhero to superjerko." Trent Overrunder announced, shocking Henry.

"What?" He exclaimed, wondering what Ray had done.

"Warning, the clip we're about to show you is disturbing." Mary Gaperman said too, and the news played a clip of Captain Man walking up to a child's lemonade stand.

"Hi, kids." He smiled at the children, who were blown away to see the cool superhero at their stall.

"Wow! You're Captain Man!" They gasped in awe.

"That's right. Hey, how much for a cup of lemonade?" Ray asked, wanting to brighten the kids' day.

"A dollar." The little girl replied, smiling at her idol. However, her smile soon disappeared when Captain Man gasped, ripped a mailbox from the ground and promptly whacked the lemonade stand until it was destroyed. The Hart family watched in horror as the children screamed and the superhero went beserk.

"What a jerk." Trent hissed after the clip ended on Ray's snarling face. Henry switched off the TV, knowing that his boss was probably in the Man Cave, hiding from all the hate with (y/n).

"I never thought Captain Man would do something like that." Mrs Hart commented dejectedly. She had always seen the hero as brave and selfless, not a mindless psychopath like in the video.

"Neither did I," Henry replied, he had to report to work as soon as possible. His watch began to beep and flash, and he knew that Ray had probably seen the news and needed to speak with him.

"Now, I have to go!" The boy shot up from the couch, running away from his perplexed family so he could get to Junk-N-Stuff quickly.

~The Man Cave~

As soon as the news report had ended, Ray set Gooch, Schwoz and (y/n) to scanning various social media sights for the status of Captain Man's popularity. Gooch and Schwoz were sat down at the table, scrolling on their PearPad and PearBook, as (y/n) paced around with a very worried Ray. Her nerves were getting the better of her, making her hand quiver as she searched the web on her phone.

"Oh, here's a good one," Schwoz smirked, making Ray frown and cross his arms. His best friend hated how upset he was, so she put a supportive hand on his back, hoping it would convey her sympathy.

"Captain Man, the only difference between you and a box of poop is the box." The genius read aloud, making (y/n) cringe. The comments were knocking chunks out of Ray's confidence and it was killing her to watch. She sighed and rubbed the skin under his shirt as the elevator dropped down and let Henry and Charlotte out of its doors.

"We're here!" Charlotte panted, the rush to the hideout stealing her breath.

"Did you guys see the news?" Henry asked, walking over to a moody Ray and his diligent workers.

"Yeah, we saw the news. Everyone hates me now." The large man scowled. He wasn't used to being unloved by the city.

"I don't hate you." (y/n) offered him with a gentle smile, and her attempt to cheer him up made Ray feel a little better. He always had her to brighten his darkest day.

"Well, why did you smash those kids' lemonade stand?" Charlotte queried.

"A dollar a cup is not that much," Henry added, thinking that Ray had overreacted extremely.

"I didn't smash their lemonade stand because of the price." Ray stood up for himself. He'd never want to destroy the hopes and dreams of the little kids that adored him.

"Then why'd you do it?" His sidekick asked further.

"Because after the little girl said, 'one dollar', I noticed a spider on the lemonade stand. A Red Jabber!"

"A Red Jabber?" Henry repeated, flabbergasted that Ray saw one of the dangerous arachnids.

"Those are deadly," Charlotte said, highlighting her cleverness.

"I know! That's why I smashed it before it could hurt those kids." Ray exclaimed, causing everyone to nod in understanding.

"Aw, you're so sweet and considerate..." (y/n) cooed, pinching Ray's cheeks as she melted from how he saved the children. The man nearly fainted at her words, being praised by her was one thing, but being called 'sweet'? He loved it.

"Well, then I say, who cares? So what if everybody hates you?" Schwoz said, thinking that if Ray knew he did nothing wrong then everyone else's opinion didn't matter.

"I'm a superhero, I don't want to be hated by everybody," Ray replied. He had been working hard for 25 years to build up a positive relationship with the citizens of Swellview, what would he do if they all rejected him now?

"Well, you are." The small genius said, bluntly.

"Dah, what am I gonna do?" Ray growled, not knowing what to do since this had never happened before.

"First of all, you're not going to panic." (y/n) told him, and he put his arm around her shoulders and smiled down at her. She always knew what to say when he was upset since she could read him like no one else.

"Why don't you just make a video apologising?" Charlotte suggested, breaking her boss's focus on his helper.

"Yeah, that's goooood. The public loves it when famous people beg for forgiveness." Henry agreed with his friend. The internet was full of apology videos, so Captain Man's would hopefully be well-received.

"No. No. I did nothing wrong. I don't care what people think of me." Ray crossed his arms in refusal. His friend sighed as he scowled at the thought of being soppy and remorseful in front of millions of people.

"We both know that isn't true." (y/n) said to him, giving him a knowing look.

"But I don't like begging for forgiveness on the internet." He whined at her, throwing a tantrum at having to admit that he did something wrong.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to do it." She replied in a firm voice, making Ray groan. He hated it when she used her motherly tone with him, mainly because it meant that she was right about something.

"Ughhhhhhh." He complained, frowning as Charlotte grabbed a camera.

"Blow a bubble and get grovelling." (y/n) smirked, watching him put on his uniform in a sulk.

"I'm Captain Man, and I care very much what you, the people, think of me. So, most of you have seen the viral video of me, in which I used a mailbox to demolish a lemonade stand run by two small children. Since then, I've read many of your comments, very hurtful comments, some suggesting that I should do things to myself, some of which of physically impossible. But that video didn't tell the real story. You see, I spotted a dangerous spider, and I used that mailbox to beat the spider to death. That's the truth. And if any of you were upset by the video, I am truly sorry."

Everyone in Swellview had seen the apology video. Jasper, Henry's parents, Piper, a Beatles tribute band, pretty much every kid in Swellview High, the entire city, but none were more proud of it than Ray. He thought he'd done a pretty good job of sounding truly remorseful, and he hit his hands against the computer's control panel in happiness. Turning around to his friends, who had all gathered behind him to hear what he had said.

"Ahh?" He looked at them with an ecstatic expression.

"That was perfect," Henry told him, thinking that had done everything right.

"Yeah?" Ray was glad that they thought it would do the trick.

"You even got the 'sad apology video face' right." (y/n) smiled, and everyone agreed that he had done a great job.

"Thanks, guys. Hey, go online and check what people are saying about me now." The large man piped up, his fingers crossed that his popularity was rising. The group spread out so they could check their social media feeds, and Ray anxiously folded his arms as the comments rolled in. Their lack of response was troubling to him.

"Well? Henry? " he asked, their silence made him nervous.

"Uhhh, this one says 'Captain Man, you liar, I hate you." Henry read the first comment he saw on Twitflash.

"Well, that's a little negative," Ray said, quickly moving on to someone else.

"Charlotte?" He hoped that the girl could give him something better.

"This one says 'Oh, please. The only reason Captain Man apologised is to make us think he's sorry.'" She looked up at Ray sheepishly, scared of his reaction.

"Well, yeah. Gooch, read." The large man was starting to get annoyed, but he wanted to check every social media site.

"Yo, Captain Man, why don't you..." My religious beliefs prevent me from reading the rest out loud." The Indian man grew teary-eyed at what the hater had put, and he quickly left to go back up to Junk-N-Stuff.

"Schwoz?" Ray looked at the little guy on his PearBook.

"This guy just posted a picture of you, but he changed your head to something else," Schwoz said, making Ray and (y/n) walk over to see what it was.

"Changed my head? What did he change it to?" He asked, wondering how bad it was.

"Ohhhh! That's horrible. What is that?" Ray grimaced, seeing that the person had put a poop emoji over his face.

"That's poop," Henry said, peeping over the adults' shoulders.

"It means you're a shhhh....poop head." (y/n) changed her language at the last second, not wanting to influence the kids in the room more than she already did. Ray groaned at how everyone still hated him. This was going to be a tricky problem to solve.

~Later in Junk-N-Stuff~

The Man Cave crew had gone upstairs to Junk-N-Stuff, still hung up about how Swellview hated Captain Man. They were all munching on sweetcorn cobs as they pondered over what to do.

"Ooooh, I have an idea," Charlotte exclaimed, a thought popping into her head. Schwoz, Henry Ray and (y/n) looked at her eagerly, ready to hear what she had to say.

"Okay, what do people want to know most about Captain Man?" Charlotte started.

"What he wears under his man suit?" Schwoz joked, annoying everyone apart from (y/n), who just blushed at the thought.

"They wanna know where he lives and works." (y/n) said, knowing that before she met Ray, she was endlessly curious to know about the mysterious superhero.

"Right. So we have a contest." Charlotte nodded, her plan coming together in her head.

"We have a contest," Henry repeated, wanting to feel like he was contributing.

"And the winners get a private tour of the Man Cave," Charlotte explained.

"Of the Man Cave." Henry echoed again, which was really starting to annoy the dark-haired girl.

"Wait, we can't reveal the secret location of the Man Cave," Ray said, the idea of criminals and fans alike rushing into his home freaking him out.

"Maybe we don't have to. Gooch can meet the winners somewhere else, put them in sacks..." (y/n) theorised. They'd done it before, surely they could do it again.

"And then he could bring them here and send them down in the tube." Henry finished, thinking the plan sounded pretty good.

"And send them down the tubes. Annoying, isn't it?" Charlotte gave Henry a playful glare, pointing out that his repetition got on her nerves.

"But everybody hates me. Why is a tour of the Man Cave going to make people like me again?" Ray threw his corn cob away and looked at the kids and his best friend.

"Because you know how people are. They get mad about stupid crap, but once something bigger comes along, they forget why they were mad and talk about the new thing." (y/n) explained, taking a few nibbles of her corn.

"Okay, but what kind of contest to pick the winners?" Ray asked, getting on board with what they were saying.

"We put up a website so people can go online and try to guess some big number. The first three people who get it right, win." Charlotte explained simply, Schwoz nodding along from his seat in the window.

"And I know the perfect URL for the website. Guess-that-number-dot-com." Henry said as Ray chuckled at the idea.

"That's pretty clever," Charlotte said in a monotone voice, as she and (y/n) rolled their eyes at the males' dumbness.

"Wait, so, we're going to have some random people in our living space?" (y/n) looked at Ray, her nerves starting to flutter in her stomach. She wasn't good with guests or new people, which was shown by the fact that she lived in the secret hideout of a mysterious superhero.

"Yeah, but don't worry, there'll be no trouble on Captain Man's watch," Ray told her with a gentle smile, calming her anxiety. He never wanted her to hate living with him, so he would make damn sure that this PR mission went smoothly for both of them.

~A few days later~

"Number guessing fever is taking Swellview by storm as people all over town tried to win a special VIP tour of Captain Man and Kid Danger's secret headquarters. So far two people have guessed the secret number, which leaves only one spot left. Here's Trent with more details." Mary Gaperman smiled into the camera.

It had been a hectic few days. Swellview had lapped up the chance at seeing the Man Cave, and soon, their hatred of Captain Man was forgotten. Even the newsreaders were too busy to do anything else but feverishly guess the numbers.

"Trent?" Mary looked at her colleague.

"Shhh! Don't bug me. I'm trying to guess the number." Trent snapped at her, rapidly entering digit after digit into the website. Mary looked at the camera again before grabbing her tablet and doing the same. Everyone in Swellview would give their right kidney to guess the lucky number.

"So then my uncle Rosco tells my aunt Susan, 'Oh no, baby, I didn't forget. Look, I made you a swimsuit calendar.'" Charlotte said to Henry, as the two walked to his porch. The 'Captain Man number fever' had swept over the city, and they were just riding the wave.

"Oh, were you talking?" Henry broke out of his daydream, realising that his friend had been talking to him.

"You didn't listen to one word I said." Charlotte pointed out.

"Well, sorry. I'm just really worried that Jasper's gonna win the contest." Henry admitted. If Jasper won, how was Henry meant to be Kid Danger around him?

"He's not going to win the contest." The dark-haired girl reassured him.

"He's been sitting in his basement for the last four days trying to guess the number," Henry said, recalling how Jasper hadn't left the house or even slept properly for the last few days.

"Dude, everyone in Swellview's trying to guess that number," Charlotte replied, remembering how (y/n) picked one of the most obscure numbers she could think of for the competition.

"Yeah, but if Jasper does win, he's going to be down in the Man Cave with me for, like, an hour." The blond kid told her.

"So?" Charlotte didn't see the issue he had.

"What if he figures out that--shhhhh. What if he figures out that I'm Kid Danger?" Henry stopped himself from shouting his secret identity to the entire city.

"The odds of Jasper winning are, like, 50 million to one." The girl eased his concern, knowing that it was highly unlikely that their friend would be the one to crack the code.

"All right." Henry sighed, letting go of his worry. The friends walked into the house and were confused to see Piper pacing up and down the couch area, drilling lots of kids on various devices.

"Yeah, let's keep up the pace." She snapped, strolling behind the couch so she could keep an eye on their progress.

"Come on, my grandma can type random numbers faster than that!" She hissed at a little boy on a laptop before returning to her own PearPad.

"Piper. What's going on?" Henry asked his sister, looking across his crowded house.

"I'm paying these kids to help me win the contest so I can go to Captain Man and Kid Danger's secret headquarters." She said, causing panic to take root in Henry's and Charlotte's stomachs.

"Uh..." The boy didn't know how to respond, so he looked at Charlotte for help.

"There's almost no chance any of these kids are going to guess the right nu---" She shouldn't have jinxed it, because that's exactly what happened.

"I got it! I guessed the number!" A little boy said in delight, but Piper snatched his PearBook from his lap.

"I got it! I guessed the number!" The girl cried in happiness, taking the boy's victory. The two teens looked at her with horrified faces.

"Yay..." Henry congratulated his sister slowly, even though he felt like dying on the inside.

"Can I have my laptop back?" The little boy asked Piper, who hugged the device to her chest protectively.

"No! Mine now!" She retaliated, running to her room so she could put it in a safe place.

"I guess you guys can go home now." Herny addressed the kids, giving them two thumbs up.

No, we can't" The winning boy said in a cute voice.

"Piper took our shoes." A blonde little girl said from the end of the couch and showed the teens her bare feet. How were they meant to deal with this?

~The Man Cave~

Ray, Schwoz and (y/n) were watching the news on the computer, looking at the pictures of the winners in the top left corner of the screen.

"Well, three lucky winners will soon be VIP guests in the secret headquarters of Captain Man and Kid Danger." Trent Overrunder smiled, as he read out the latest news.

"You know, it's so great of Captain Man to do this." Mary Gaperman added, her positive reaction making (y/n) hug Ray's shoulders in joy. Ray looked at Schwoz happily and the small guy gave him a thumbs up, from both the girl on his shoulders and the good news.

"I wasn't done reading the story," Trent said, causing the female news reporter to bow her head in shame.

"Oh, sorry." The woman said sadly, making (y/n) feel sorry for her. Trent was always an absolute bastard with her.

"Are you? Because you do this all the time." The man hissed at her, causing anger to flare up in the young woman watching. No one deserved to be spoken to like that, especially on live television.

"Absolute dickhead." She mumbled as Ray slammed his hand against the off button and stood up.

"Bah. You hear that? They love me now." The large man smiled gleefully, walking away from the computer and kicking his leg out in celebration. He took (y/n)'s wrist and started to do a little dance with her, twirling around and everything. She laughed along with him, as Schwoz checked social media.

"Yeah, and they didn't even mention the horrible thing you did to those kids' lemonade stand." The little man commented, igniting more triumph in Ray.

"I know! Hyah!" Ray let go of one of (y/n)'s hands so he could do a little karate chop. Honestly, he was like a big kid on Christmas Day.

"And your Facepage has four thousand new thumbs upses," Schwoz said, noticing how Ray's popularity had shot up. Ray laughed again and picked his best friend up in celebration, throwing her over his shoulder and spinning around.

"RAY, NO!" She squealed and kicked her legs as spun her around, him feeling so happy that he could share this glorious moment with her.

"Aw, this whole VIP tour thing was a great idea." Ray smiled at Schwoz, who raised his eyebrows at how his boss kept the young woman over his shoulder. Ray ignored the look, thinking that if he ignored how he felt, his fiery passion would eventually die down. The elevator dropped down suddenly and Henry and Charlotte came running out.

"We gotta cancel the VIP tour thing!" The boy said, eyeing (y/n)'s position with a funny look. The woman sighed, looking through her hair to see the kids upside down.

"Don't ask..." She told them, and Ray slid her off his shoulder so he could properly talk to the kids.

"What?" Schwoz asked. It was Henry and Charlotte that had wanted to do the tour in the first place, now they wanted to cancel it. Why?

"One of the winners is my little sister, Piper," Henry explained.

"Really?" Ray asked, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline. This was a problem.

"Of course, I thought I recognised the kid on the news!" (y/n) smacked her forehead, feeling like she had missed something really obvious. How had she not realised that girl was Henry's sister?

"Who's she going to bring as her guest? She gonna bring your mom?" Ray smirked at Henry and the young woman next to him swallowed at the thought. She hated when he brought girlfriends to the Man Cave and the thought of one of them being Henry's married mother made it seem even worse.

"Remember what happened with my mom last time you saw her? I don't know who she's bringing." Henry looked at him with a pointed stare, shutting Ray up. He definitely remembered the kind advice the woman had given him, advice that he still hadn't taken.

"What happened last time?" (y/n) piped up. This was a story she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. However, her curiosity was too great and she wanted to know what had happened between the two, even if it broke her heart.

"Nothing!!" Ray said a little too quickly, the thought of telling the girl that Henry's mom advised that he should confess his love to her making his cheeks flush. (y/n) took his flustered appearance to mean that things had happened between them, and she promptly shut her mouth and bit her lip before a whimper could escape.

'Another notch on his belt.' She thought bitterly, mentally swotting away all the vile images of her friend and Henry's mother in a passionate tangle from her mind.

"Henry's afraid that Piper's gonna recognise him." Charlotte's voice caught her back to reality.

"Oh, no, she won't." Ray brushed off the comment, Schwoz being the only person who saw how (y/n) had to pull herself back together from her thoughts. He could see her inner battle and knew that every time Ray went off with another girl, she took a step back from confessing to him.

"You're going to be in your Kid Danger suit and mask." The little guy said, switching his focus from the young woman to Henry.

"Well, yeah, but she's going to be down here with us for, like, an hour," Henry exclaimed, the whole business stressing him out.

"All right, calm down your pants." (y/n) said to the boy, using her gentlest voice to calm him down.

"Schwoz can disguise your face," Ray told him, pointing to the genius who nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I give you good face disguise." The little man explained. That was simple technical trickery to him.

"What about my voice?" Henry asked, knowing that Piper would instantly recognise him when he spoke to her.

"Can you disguise his voice, too?" Charlotte jumped in.

"Easy. Look." Schwoz took a small metal disk from his upper pocket and stuck it under his chin.

"Excuse me. Henry, will you help me find my mommy?" Schwoz said, the voice filter making him sound like a creepy little kid. Everyone frowned in discomfort at how weird he sounded, (y/n) and Ray drifting into each other's arms like they did when they watched horror movies together.

"No, stoppppp. You're freaking me out." The young woman said, clutching the red material of Ray's shirt.

"Will you buy me a pony?" Schwoz asked again in the creepy voice, stepping closer to Henry, Ray and (y/n). They all grimaced and groaned, (y/n) burying her face into Ray's pec from fear. He sounded like one of those creepy, stalker children in horror movies, the ones where the child always viciously murders everyone and she needed her superhero to protect her.

"Aahh! Stop that!" Henry yelled at Schwoz, as his boss backed him and (y/n) away from the genius.

"You're scaring (y/n)! And me!" Ray shouted too, shivering at how Schwoz was looking at them. He held his best friend to his chest, feeling her press herself into his hard body. He tried to keep his mind off how she fitted against him so perfectly as she covered her ears. Charlotte smirked when she saw him cradle her head, knowing that he could deny it all he wanted to, but he couldn't get away from the fact that he was her protector and she was happy to bask in his safety.

~At Henry's house~

Jasper had rushed over to his best friend's house when he heard that Piper had won the Captain Man contest. He hoped he could convince her to take him as her guest, but with Piper, begging was difficult.

"Pleeeeease?" He pleaded with the little girl, but she didn't want to take her brother's oafish friend.

"No!" She replied harshly.

"But it's my dream to see Captain Man's headquarters. Please, let me be your guest." The curly-haired teen put his hands together, begging Piper.

"Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear?" She smirked. If she was going to take him, she was going to subject him to humiliation.

"I don't know... My mom usually picks my outfits." Jasper wasn't sure if he wanted to look like an idiot in front of his heroes.

"Will you wear whatever I tell you to wear?" Piper reiterated, confirming that she needed him to agree with this if she was going to take him.

"You have three seconds to answer. One..." The girl glared at him when he stumbled over his response.

"Wait!" Jasper was freaked out by her counting.

"Two..."

"Yes, I'll wear anything. I'll wear anything." The boy pleaded, falling to his knees, which greatly pleased Piper.

"Fine. You can be my guest." She agreed, excited to put him through misery.

"Yes! All right! Whoo! Yeah!" Jasper ran around the living in excitement as Henry and Charlotte came in.

"Uhhh, what's going on here?" Henry asked, confused as to why Jasper was so happy in Piper's presence.

"I'm going to be Piper's guest when she goes to Captain Man's secret headquarters." The boy told his friends, causing Henry to shout in painful irritation. Of all people, why them?

"That's great, man. Gyahhhhhh!" He yelled again after congratulating his best friend.

~Day of the Tour, in the Man Cave~

Charlotte had been assisting (y/n) in getting the Man Cave all spick and span for their imminent guests. They had cleaned, dusted, hung decorations and even prepared a buffet. Ray, all kitted out in his man suit, was checking all the machinery as Schwoz came out of the secret door, ready to show them Kid Danger's new look.

"Hey, look who's here." He gestured to Henry, who came out from the back room with a 'new face'. His nose was larger and his general appearance just didn't look like him, which shocked his friends.

"Whoa. Woooow." Charlotte gasped and prodded at his prosthetics.

How do I look?" The boy asked.

"Completely unrecognisable," Ray answered, thinking that his sidekick had nothing to worry about now.

"Yeah, you've done a great job, Schwoz." (y/n) complimented the little guy's skill, admiring how flawless the makeup was. It looked like real skin.

"Wait. What about his voice?" Ray looked at Schwoz, who took out a voice filter.

"Now, sing the Little Pea Pod song." The genius instructed Henry after fitting the small metal disk to his neck.

"I'm a little pea pod, green and flat, squeeze me in the middle and squirt out my beans." Henry sang in a very low, baritone voice that was completely unlike his own. Ray patted Schwoz on the back; no one would know who Henry was now.

"Oh, man, this is crazy." The boy said, putting a gloved hand on his throat.

"Henry, good luck. Charlotte, let's go." Schwoz put his hand on the girl's shoulder and guided her to the elevator.

"Whoa, where are you taking Charlotte?" (y/n) asked, not knowing that they were going out during the tour.

"To pick up my sister from the airport," Schwoz replied.

"Your sister who looks like a horse?" Ray stated, remembering how ugly the guy's sister was.

"Yeah, that one." The man replied in a dejected voice.

"Come on, it's not nice to say that your own sister looks like a horse, right (y/n)?" Charlotte looked to the young woman, who usually agreed with her on things like this. Sadly though, the young woman had met Schwoz's sister and knew that she was literally like a horse.

"You haven't seen her. Show her a pic." (y/n) told Schwoz as she and Ray smirked at the thought of the funny looking woman. Schwoz pulled up a photo of his sister, who had bucked teeth, mane-like hair and other horse-like features.

"That is one crazy-looking lady," Henry said as he and Charlotte groaned at her image.

"Her name is Winnie," Schwoz told them all, which made Ray, (y/n) and Henry burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, for real?" The young woman giggled as she laughed it up with the two males. The irony was hilarious to them, especially when Ray made the noise of a horse neighing. Schwoz and Charlotte watched with annoyed expressions.

"Sorry, sorry. You guys need to go." (y/n) said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Yeah, we do. See you later." Schwoz said in an irritated voice and he and Charlotte left to go to the airport.

"Hey, you need to put on your disguise." Ray reminded her, and the woman snapped her fingers at his comment.

"Oh shoot, yeah." She said, quickly jogging up to the sprocket so she could grab her costume from her bedroom. It was silly, but it would hide her identity well enough.

"Disguise?" Henry asked Ray as the woman dashed off.

"Yeah, you know, your sister and your friend know her and we can't let the other winners know who she really is, so...disguise!" Ray said in his usual chirpy tone.

"You just want to see her in a costume..." Henry smirked at him, watching his ears turn pink.

"Henry!" Ray exclaimed, hoping that (y/n) was far away enough to not hear what he had just said. If only he knew what she had picked out...

~15 minutes later~

"(y/n), come on! The winners are coming down!" Henry yelled through the sprocket, as he and Ray stood patiently in the middle of the Man Cave.

"All right, geez!" The woman's voice rang out from the hallway as she trotted down into the main room. Ray almost fainted at her disguise and how it stretched and smoothed over her curves perfectly, accentuating her figure.

"Catwoman?" Henry asked her as she walked towards them, the boy patting Ray on the arm so he'd put his tongue back in his mouth.

"Look, this one was the cheapest and I got free delivery for it. Even if it is itchy." (y/n) replied, scratching her arm when how the cheap material irritated her skin. Oh well, it would do for the tour.

"At least you can't tell who she is," Ray said, gulping as her hips swayed until she was next to him.

"Tonight, you can call me Selina Phalange." She smirked, using her favourite fake name. The three chatted for a few more minutes until the tube alarm sounded and two sacks came down.

"Okay, here we go." Ray squeezed her shoulder and helped the sacks shuffled to the side of the tube area. After two more two journeys, the superheroes soon had all of their guests in the Man Cave.

"Hey there. We got you. There you go, one foot in front of the other." Ray said to the final two sacks as they formed one big group in front of the elevator.

"Okay, contest winners and guests," Ray said, energetically retaking his place next to (y/n).

"Drop your sacks," Henry instructed them in his fake voice, and the people did as they were told. They squinted under the harsh glare of the lights but quickly looked around in awe as they took in the glorious sight of the Man Cave.

"Welcome to the Man Cave." (y/n) greeted them, her eyebrows knitted in confusion when she saw that the bucket kid was wearing booty shorts and a crop top.

"Wooooow. I'm Jasper, who are you?" He asked excitedly, jumping up and down in front of his idols.

"I'm Selina Phalange." She said in a more bold tone than she normally would use. Catwoman had confidence, so she would too.

"What's with the Catwoman costume?" Piper asked in a confused voice, recognising her outfit from a film her brother had watched.

"If you knew her real identity, we'd have to kill you." Captain Man joked, making the group laugh, even though if they did find out who she was, they'd definitely have their memories wiped.

"Captain Man, remember me?" Jasper asked the superhero excitedly, continuing his lively bouncing.

"Yeah," Ray said in a strained voice, remembering all of his fateful encounters with the bucket-loving boy.

"Why are you wearing...that?" (y/n) gestured to his outfit.

"Oh, she made me," Jasper replied, pointing at Piper who smiled and waved sweetly.

"Nice. Uh, can you step away from me?" Ray asked the boy, feeling uncomfortable that he could see his belly button.

"Oh yeah, sure." The curly-haired boy stepped back politely.

"Be nice." (y/n) hissed in Ray's ear, reminding him that this PR exercise was their attempt to boost Captain Man's reputation. Piper sensed that this was the girl Captain Man loved as she remembered the conversation her mother had had with the hero. She made a mental note to watch the two of them carefully.

"Of course, you people have met...Selina Phalange and you all know my sidekick." Ray gestured to Henry as Piper ran up to him excitedly.

"Kid Danger!" She exclaimed, delighted to be in the boy's presence.

"That's right! We are really excited to show you the Man Cave." He smiled back at her, trusting that she couldn't see through his prosthetics.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Piper frowned. He never sounded like that on TV.

"And your face?" Jasper leaned closer, making Henry gulp.

"I--uh...he..." Ray and Henry stuttered, trying to think of a response to the difficult questions.

"He went through puberty!" (y/n) cried the first thing that came to her. It explained the voice and the weird facial features, but it also embarrassed Henry.

"Selina Phalange!...is right!" Henry quickly agreed with her statement, nodding at the group who seemed to buy the explanation.

"Now, you two, I've met before, but..." Ray pointed to Jasper and Piper, then looked at a dude in a yellow coat (without a guest) and an elderly Japanese couple.

"What are your names?" Henry asked them cheerfully, ready to get to know them all. The old couple just laughed at his question and walked over to the supercomputer, confusing the group.

"And you?" Ray asked the other guy, who looked around the group shiftily, focusing a little too much of his attention on (y/n). She inhaled slowly, feeling on edge by the dude's mysterious behaviour.

"I'm Dennis. I collect celebrity socks." 'Dennis' told them, confirming that he was a bit of a weirdo. Ray gave Henry a knowing look and the two knew that they'd have to keep an eye on this one.

"Where's your guest?" (y/n) asked carefully, studying the man and his odd body language. Something about him wasn't right.

"I came alone. This sock belonged to Jennifer Lawrence." He replied, taking a grey, beach ball-print sock from his coat pocket. The superhero duo looked at each other as if to say 'he's crazy!'.

"Wow, that's cool. Not weird at all" Ray said slowly.

"That's really cool, man," Henry added too, not wanting to offend their guest.

"So, where do you guys keep your weapons?" Dennis asked, folding up his sock. (y/n) blanched at his question, her fight or flight instinct telling her to leg it.

"Uhhhh, we're gonna show you that later," Henry told the weirdo as Ray guided his best friend away from him so they could check on the Japanese couple.

"Heeeey! What you, what you doing there?" The large man greeted them, but all they seemed to be interested in was watching TV on the supercomputer. They squealed when they found a channel they liked, sitting down together so they could watch it.

"Uh, guys? We're about to start the tour and this isn't part---okay, they're not listening." (y/n) gave up trying to talk to them when they burst out laughing at an old sitcom.

"Okay, the rest of you this way." Ray directed the group to their first point of interest, thinking it was best to just let them get on with it. Boy, this was going to be a long evening...

~Later~

The couple were dying with laughter at what was happening on the TV and the whole situation made (y/n) feel like she should've joined Schwoz and Charlotte in picking up Winnie the Horse Woman. At least then she wouldn't have to put up with Dennis giving her the side-eye all the time. Ray noticed his glances too and his self-control was hanging by a thread. No sock-sniffer weirdo would hurt his girl.

"Okay, Dennis, your turn." Henry gave the dude a red chair since it was his turn to break it over Captain Man's head. Everyone loved to see Ray's superpower in action, so he begrudgingly stood still for each guest to break something over his head. It had taken some pleading and eyelash-batting from (y/n), which greatly intrigued Piper, but he eventually conceded.

Dennis took the chair from Kid Danger and whacked it as hard as he could into Ray's back. The onlookers grimaced as the splinters flew everywhere, but Ray just grunted through the pain.

"I'm okay!" He exclaimed, using his catchphrase as everyone clapped at Captain Man's performance. The young woman next to Henry sighed in relief, these experiments always made her nervous despite her having nothing to worry about. She just blamed it on her love for him.

"Thank you, now you've all had a chance to break a chair on me, let's go check out---" Ray was interrupted by Dennis.

"Your weapons?!" He asked with a clenched fist.

"Yeah, our weapons." Ray nodded, as (y/n) dashed over to him and leant up to his ear.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? This guy is crazy!" She hissed to him quietly, glancing at Dennis as he got excited about seeing their collections of guns and lasers and things.

"Yeah, it'll be fine," Ray whispered back with a brief side hug, but it didn't really calm her down. Dennis was up to no good, she just knew it.

Ray gestured for Piper and Charlotte to scooch back as he took out his remote. Even the Japanese couple were interested in this bit. Pressing a button on the remote, a display case lifted from the floor, containing some of Captain Man's dangerous, deadliest and also wackiest weapons. The people who hadn't seen it before gasped at how cool it was, well, the couple went back to watching TV, but everyone else looked at it with wide smiles.

"Now, these are some of our best weapons that Kid Danger and Captain Man use for crime-fighting." (y/n) explained, waving her hand over the various guns and grenades.

"What's that hotdog for?" Dennis pointed to the weirdest weapon they had.

"Ah. Looks like a hot dog, doesn't it? We call this the 'Covert Weiner'." Ray told them all as he delicately picked up the hotdog and showed it to them.

"Covert Weiner?" Jasper queried the funny name.

"Yes. Selina Phalange came up with it." Captain Man smiled at his helper, who blushed under his gaze. Piper was convinced, these two were totally in love.

"Kid Danger?" Ray passed it to Henry, who pretended to eat the hotdog as any normal person would.

"You see, he appears to be any normal citizen, just enjoying a hot dog." (y/n) said, as the sidekick gave them all a demonstration. No one noticed though, how intensely Dennis was staring back and forth at both her and the 'Covert Weiner'.

"Mmm, what a tasty hot dog," Henry stated, acting out his part.

"But watch this. Kid Danger, bad guy over there!" Ray suddenly yelled, opening the elevator doors to reveal a cardboard cut-out of a criminal.

"Freeze, sucker!" Henry quipped as he fired the hotdog's laser at the fake man, obliterating it in seconds.

"Whoa!"

"Awesome!" Jasper and Piper exclaimed, loving their experience so far. This was unlike anything they could have imagined.

"Yessss!" Dennis added on the end, enjoying the demonstration a little too much.

"Yes, it's incredibly powerful. Any one person could use this weapon to defeat the entire army of a small country." Ray described the weapon, holding it up in his hand.

"Can I see it?" Dennis asked in a sinister voice that Ray didn't pick up on.

"Yeah, sure." The superhero passed it over to the guy. He held the hotdog in his hands and walked off a bit as he studied it and the rest of the group talked amongst themselves. Time for him to put his plan into action.

"OKAY, NOBODY MOVE!" He yelled, pointing the covert weiner at the other guests. What a mistake Ray had made. (y/n) moved in front of Jasper as the psychopath glared at them all. Ray moved Piper and Henry back as his focus switched between Dennis and the woman he loved, who just happened to be closest to the crazy dude.

"He's got the weiner!" Henry exclaimed as the Japanese couple just laughed in blissful ignorance, completely unaware of their surroundings.

"Put the hotdog down, Dennis!" Ray said nervously, noticing that (y/n) was protecting Jasper bravely, but she had no way of protecting herself against any gunfire.

"NO!" Dennis shouted, not liking that Captain Man was trying to give him orders.

"You sick loner!" Piper said to him, as Ray pushed her away before she could aggravate the man anymore.

"Don't do it!" Dennis pointed the Weiner at Henry as he tried to take a weapon from his utility belt. Deciding that he didn't have enough leverage, the criminal lunged past Kid Danger and roughly grabbed hold of (y/n), forcing his arm around her neck in a choking grip. She struggled against him, fear kicking her instincts into overdrive.

"Now, anybody tries to stop me, this pretty girl gets it!" Dennis snarled, making Ray go pale as his biggest fear unfolded in front of him. To say she was on the brink of death, (y/n) was surprisingly keeping her nerves under control as she tried to think about the self-defence training Ray had taught her.

"All right, Dennis, just relax. Everything's fine." The superhero and his sidekick edged closer to the pair, both of their hearts hammering in their chests. If he lost her, Henry was sure Ray would never recover, so this was the tensest moment of his crime-fighting career.

"Don't talk to me in a calming voice!" The psycho shouted, putting the hot dog next to (y/n)'s head. Ray saw that her eyes were fixed on him and he felt helpless like he never had before. He was her protector, she was his light, his helper, his darling (y/n), and he had put her in this situation.

"Tell me the fastest way to get out of here!" Dennis breathed into her ear with a sickening smirk, enjoying the way his captive repulsed against the way his breath mingled on her neck. Ray's insides twisted as he watched the yellow-coated man fawn over her, his blood boiling when she grimaced in disgust.

"Go to hell, dickhead." She growled back. She wasn't going to let him get the better of her; even when she was vulnerable, she knew how to gain the upper hand. She had the knowledge, he didn't and that would keep her alive, she hoped.

"TELL ME!" He roared, tightening his arm around her throat and she gagged as her air supply was restricted.

"All right! Just step up there and a tube will come down over you." Ray gave in to his demands as he watched the young woman's hands scratch the yellow material around her neck. Dennis guided her up to the tube area, the hotdog pointed at Captain Man and Kid Danger.

"And then you just say, up the tube!" Henry instructed him, also not wanting (y/n) to get hurt any more than she already was. Dennis stood on the tube spot and shoved his hostage down the steps and into Ray's arms since he didn't need her anymore. Captain Man cradled her and let out a huge sigh of relief, overjoyed to have her back where he could keep her safe. Piper observed how they clung to each other, how she buried her face into his shoulder, how he held her like it was for the last time.

The tube came down around Dennis, who was ready to make his escape with the Covert Weiner. He shouted the correct phrase and shot off upwards and Ray and (y/n) parted, although their hands stayed in a tight hold.

"You let him get away!" Piper cried as they all reeled from the adrenaline, especially (y/n). It was surprising no one had fainted or gone into hysterics.

"Did he?" (y/n) smirked, her voice slightly raspy from the way she had been restrained.

"Override," Ray said into his remote and a loud, blaring alarm sounded in the Man Cave.

"Reverse suckage," Henry stated as he and Ray walked over to the tube controls. (y/n) guided the kids away from the area where Dennis would reappear.

"Double power." The large man added, knowing they had to get the criminal back down quickly. He pushed down the lever and the tube came down, the reversing air forcing Dennis back into the Man Cave. He landed harshly, his legs taking most of the force, but Ray was all too happy to make him suffer.

"Up the tube!"

"Down the tube!" The superhero duo watched as he groaned in pain, but they didn't care. This was payback for hurting their (y/n).

"Tube up!" Ray exclaimed, and the pipe retracted, leaving the winded Dennis to collapse on the floor.

"Right tube down!" He said into his remote again, smirking when the tube hit the man on the head. (y/n) watched with tinted cheeks as he took his time with his sweet revenge. Her cavewoman instincts, that niggling sense that was hardwired into her DNA was screaming at her, 'protector, provider.'

"Get the covert weiner!" Ray directed Henry as the kids laughed at the groaning man. Henry took the weapon back and brought it safely back to Ray's side.

"Nice going, Kid Danger." Ray complimented his sidekick, enjoying the way he was working with him.

"Just doing my job, brother." The boy joked, his deep voice making it even more comical.

"And now triple sequence. Tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down, tube up, tube down...Go!" Ray said into his remote as Dennis begged for mercy. However, he wasn't going to get any; he'd hurt the love of his life, and he was going to make him pay. The superheroes smirked as the criminal writhed in pain, but he deserved it, so they didn't feel bad.

"Hey, remember when you smashed that lemonade stand and everybody was mad at you?" Henry brought up the 'incident' again.

"Yeah? That seems like a long time ago." Ray laughed as he remembered what had happened only last week.

"Right? Henry replied as the Japanese couple laughed at their sitcom again, confusing everyone around them. What were they watching that was so funny?

"Psssst, Selina Phalange!" Piper tapped (y/n)'s wrist to get her attention as Jasper went to talk with Captain Man and Kid Danger about how awesome their fight was.

"Yes...Piper?" The young woman replied, acting as though she had only known the girl for one day.

"How long have you been Captain Man's girlfriend?" She asked in an innocent voice, even though the mischievous glint in her eye would suggest otherwise.

"Wh—no, I'm not—how...why would you—?" (y/n) blanched at her words, her eyes bugging out at how eagle-eyed the girl was. Was she really that obvious?

"Why don't you just, y'know, tell him all that mushy stuff?" Piper said to her, her nose wrinkling at the mention of what boyfriends and girlfriends do together. (y/n) knew she had to tread carefully here, Ray was metres away and Piper could easily blab to him anything she confessed.

"I work for him. There's nothing between us." The woman replied in an unconvincing voice. Did she work for him? Living in the Man Cave hadn't felt like work for a long time now, more like living with the person she loved the most. Yes, he paid her a monthly wage, but she wasn't sure if she could leave now if he ever asked her. It would break her heart.

"Lies! You love him..." Piper smirked and walked off to see what Jasper was saying to Captain Man. Hopefully nothing embarrassing.

"Okay, kids, weird people over there, I think that our...eventful activities with Dennis, wraps up our tour, so please get back in your sacks," Ray announced to the group after he and Henry had blindfolded Dennis and sent him up to Gooch in Junk-N-Stuff so he could be handed over to the cops.

"Awwwwwww!" Jasper and Piper whined as (y/n) tried to push the Japanese couple away from the supercomputer. They were obsessed with the programme they were watching, refusing to move or even listen when the helper snapped her fingers in front of their eyes. In the end, she just got pissed off with the two, so she used the emergency shutoff button on the side of the monitor and turned the whole thing off. The couple gazed at her with heartbroken eyes, but she didn't care; the sooner they left, the sooner she could go to bed.

"Don't look at me like that. TV time is over, so go home!" She said, pointing her thumb at the tubes where Jasper and Piper were all sacked up and ready to go. Begrudgingly, the couple got up and shuffled to their sacks as the kids were sent up.

"Okay, I'll get these guys home and then I'm knocking off," Henry said to the adults in his deep voice, looking forward to taking all the fakery off.

"All right, kid," Ray replied as he took a seat on the couch.

"Stay safe!" (y/n) waved at him as Henry went up the tube after the Japanese people, which left her alone with her favourite superhero. He was uncharacteristically silent, and she didn't have to be a genius to realise that he was upset about what had happened to her.

She sat down next to him, removing the flimsy, plastic cat mask from her face. It was nice to get rid of it and she wanted to see Ray without his mask too, both physically and emotionally. Her hand lifted to his face to remove it, but he stopped her before her fingertips could even brush against it.

"What?" She asked in a surprised voice. Normally, he didn't mind if she took it off, but maybe for the first time since she had known him, she had crossed a line.

"You almost died tonight." He whispered, bringing her hand to his lips so he could press a kiss against the back of it. It was gentle, delicate, like if he used any more force, she would break.

"But I didn't." She said simply, letting his fingers find her pulse under the skin on her wrist. The tender thrumming there told him that she was here, still breathing, still living...still his.

"You could have, I let you get hurt." He replied, his heart clenching when he recalled how Dennis choked her and she looked at him with so much fear. She thought about his words for a minute. Yeah, going by the bruises that were darkening on her neck by the minute, she had nearly died. But she knew it wasn't his fault and she was going to make sure he knew that.

"You didn't let me. Dennis is a psycho, he's the only one to blame." (y/n) told him softly, feeling how his hand trembled in hers. 'Even Captain Man is allowed to get scared...' She remembered her words from months ago when Henry had first joined them. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Maybe you should get out of the Man Cave for a while. You shouldn't be around all of...this." Ray mumbled, her eyes widening at the notion. She wasn't sure if he was talking about leaving him or the hideout, but she wasn't going to listen. Leave the Man Cave and therefore leave him? Not a chance.

"Absolutely not. Why would I ever leave?" She asked him in a shocked tone, her face expressing more hurt than she wanted. Did he want her to leave? Was she a liability?

"You almost died." He repeated, closing his eyes as if the statement caused him pain. It did, to be honest, in his chest. Like someone had a hold on his heart and was squeezing it harshly every time he thought about how he should have protected her.

"I know, but it was me or Jasper. If he had gotten hurt because l couldn't face that asshole, I don't know how I'd sleep at night." She confessed, remembering how she had instinctively pulled Jasper behind her. Ray sighed; she was an unlikely fighter, small but feisty, always taking her opponents by surprise. She didn't have the muscles or pure bulk to bully her way through a fight, but she had intelligence and that was how she triumphed.

"Brave girl." The large man breathed out and it was in that moment she realised, she desperately needed, no, craved his arms around her. Just to be wrapped in his safe embrace.

"Can I have a hug, please?" She said in a small voice, which broke his heart for the hundredth time that day. Ray pulled her into his lap and her arms went around his neck, his around her waist. Their innate position.

"I have to keep you safe. If anything ever happened to you, I'm not sure how I'd cope."

'Protector, provider' Again with the voice inside her cried. She didn't really need saving, she wasn't a helpless princess waiting for her prince to save the day. But when the prince was willing to lay down his life for her, that's when she'd make an exception.

"I don't need saving. I just need you. So I'm never, ever leaving. " She told him, taking off the mask so he could look her in the eye. Ray took her promise as gospel. The only girl that didn't run a mile when his problems surfaced. The only girl who wanted Ray, not Captain Man. The only girl he wanted: (y/n) (y/l/n).

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