#swipingright

[punchandskittles]

IDK ABOUT YOU BUT I'M SWIPING RIGHT

[joelekm]

Ep. 3: The Sexy Science of Dating Apps: What They Don’t Tell You About Online Love

In this episode of Pillow Talk Unplugged titled "The Sexy Science of Dating Apps," hosts Edgar and Bridgetta dive into the world of online dating. They play a fun game called "Over Under" to discuss interesting dating statistics, like how 30% of adults use dating apps, but only 10% find real relationships. They also talk about weird trends like upside-down pineapples in Spain and the challenges people face, such as fake profiles (catfishing)

[kristinkisska]

This just in...

Our publisher, Untreed Reads, just announced that MURDER BY THE GLASS (which includes my short story of suspense, “Swiping Right”) is their best selling anthology!

To celebrate, they are offering a 25% discount for a limited time.  You can check out the details at this link.

Grab yourself a cocktail and treat yourself to this murdery-fabulous opportunity.

Cheers!

[swiping-right]

#7 Check social media

Social media - the best instrument for stalking investigating getting to know your match.

If you are already using a dating app, then you shouldn’t be a stranger to the world of social media... namely Instagram. People my age (20′s?) hardly use Facebook to social network anymore but rather, to check out memes :-) b u t, that doesn’t mean that you should rule Facebook out.

After some meaningful conversation with your match, either one of you will ask about exchanging IG handles. As a girl, I got asked a lot by the guy... Except for one who ended up being my boyfriend (lol). So don’t be too alarmed when the guys take a more straightforward approach and ask you off the bat.

Most of the time I will give my IG handle, but mine’s on private so I don’t necessarily have to accept him right away. Instead, I can use the opportunity to check out his profile (since he would have probably added me) before I choose to accept his request.

Now, what should you look out for?

Followers Mutual friends. Mutual friends can tell you a lot about the other person - their social circle, their schools, CCAs etc. If you happen to see a mutual friend that you’re pretty close to - score! Time to ask them more about your match and find out if he’s really worth your time.

Following This applies a lot to guys’ profiles because I think it happens a lot more frequently than girls (but ofc, just my observation). Some guys like following influencer profiles... namely those skimpily clad, #sponsored, #ad kinda gals. If you think you can swallow the tough pill, go for it. If not, book it. (after subtly asking your match more to understand his thought process).

Photos (duh) Get a chance to see how he was like before puberty! Did puberty do him good? His older photos may have pictures of his ex too, as well as the school / CCAs that he attended. Use that knowledge to your advantage.

Tagged photos If your match is a hype beast and a super social media guru, there’s a high chance that there wouldn’t be any tagged photos of themselves. But most people don’t really care, and tagged photos are where you can find gold. You get to see them in an unglamorous position, sprawled out on the sand during beach day when they are taking an OG shot.

IG highlights See what kind of highlights they post to see a glimpse of how they are like on the daily. Bonus? IG highlights doesn’t show the user who viewed their stories - so you can investigate without a trace :-)

Bonus: Facebook Chances are, you have his full name now (or at least, a Christian name and a surname) and there is *bound* to be at least one mutual friend. Cross your fingers, pray to the gods, and search him up on Facebook. If you are lucky, he would have a public account and you can see his past profile photos, pictures, and posts.

The tips above not just corresponds to females; guys are able to follow the tips above to get a glimpse on how their matches are like as well! Social media is indeed powerful in this digital era :-)

[swiping-right]

#3 Craft Your Profile

Now that you’ve selected the app, it’s time for one of the most important things - your profile! This is essentially what your potential suitor will see before deciding whether to swipe right, or connect with you.

Pictures. There’s a reason why people are so obsessed with taking a good selfie, or an instagrammable photo nowadays - it’s because people are so occupied with looking good. Now I hope that you have a few photos on hand that look decent (please, please, please get someone you are close to to review the photos that you may potentially be posting!) and if not, you can snap some photos in the near future.

What makes a good photo? To be honest, I’m not sure. Because I use the app and filter my matches to “guys only”, I have no clue what other girls have been posting. And I didn’t think it was polite to ask my dates how the photos of the other girls they have matched looked. To be honest, I don’t think I could have competed with them in terms of looks, lol. There are insanely pretty girls out there, and skillful ones who know how to make their makeup work wonders. Not to mention, girls who are slim and work out a lot. None of the above are myself (hahaha sad reacts only)!

Despite that, I still managed to get quite good swiping results so photos aren’t the most important? But they are still important nonetheless. I remember posting a decent selfie for my first photo, followed by a full-length one in my second picture.

... I think that was it? I didn’t see the need to post so many photos of myself because I thought 1) that just makes me look incredibly narcissistic and 2) I didn’t have that many nice photos to begin with.

You sometimes see other guides / tips / people saying that it’s good to post a group photo, or to post one that has you with an animal (this mostly apply to guys). I am not sure how true those are, because personally, if a group photo was posted, I would just be looking at the other guys apart from the profile on Tinder, and I’m not sure if that would be a good idea to pit yourself against your friends.

Then do girls really swipe right on guys with dogs? Not me, but my friend does. So I guess it then depends on what kind of girl you are looking to attract. If you’re wondering why it doesn’t work on me, I mostly look at the writeup to determine if I really want to swipe right on that person or not because that tells me way more about his thoughts and personality.

And that, my folks, brings us to the write up! It was the best part of creating my profile (imo) because it allowed me to show my personality and I think it gave me an edge above the other girls. As mentioned above, I don’t know what other girls really write on their profiles, but a quick read on r/singapore’s thread that had a “starter pack” to girls’ bios gave me quite a good idea. I think you may want to check out the thread to think about what you don’t want in your bio?

It’s great to share your hobbies, likes and dislikes, but a better way would be to share it with your personality! Maybe guys don’t really care (don’t quote me on this), but I am very very particular when it comes to bios because I would love to meet someone witty, rather than someone who simply rattles off a list of hobbies that they have. But again, to each their own.

For myself, I wrote my bio in a story-kind of way (almost akin to what I am doing now; my profile on my tumblr is not representative because I did not put in as much effort, lol) where I described myself in third-person. Many of the dates that I had said that they especially liked my bio! There. Stand out from the clutter. Please refrain from writing things like “eat, sleep, repeat” or “hobbies: drama, eating, drinking bbt”.

Although you want your bio to show the “true you” (per se), you still have to have something to make your bio interesting. Be it your photos (because you’re stunning!) or your write up, it has to show the best side of you.

The last part of this step is to let your close friend(s) read it, and comment on it. It’s best if you can find friends who are honest with you, or friends who have had prior online dating experiences! They will be able to provide you with ways to improve your bio so that you can snag that dude. If you can’t find friends, drop me something in my ask for my comments :-)

[swiping-right]

#0 Introduction

Hi all! I am thrilled to start this little series / blog / guide on how to swipe right on your Mr (or Mrs) Right! Of course, take it all with a hefty amount of salt because this isn't going to work for everyone and who knows, maybe I'm just your friendly internet troll here to waste your time. But ok no, please stay a little longer and give my guide a shot. This is the story of how I went from single-as-fuck in late 2016, and found my own Mr Right in early 2019! ... It took me three years. True love is not easy, folks.