#swordmaster girlfailure

[prokopetz]

Noticing that a mutual's casual vocabulary has very suddenly acquired the word "unforchies" at some point in the last, oh, eight weeks:

[manorpunk]

2026: egirl convinces you to buy her doordash and moba skins

2066: egirl convinces you to take up arms against the Cedar Rapids protectorate and install her as rightful leader

[apricops]

YOURE A 34 YEAR OLD MARRIED MAN????????

Just off Swordmaster Girlfailure I thought you were, you know, a 20 something trans girl

(Not saying this in a bad way just surprised the author of smgf is a dude)

ahahaha. I have grungled too close to the sun.

[7outerelements]

Manorpunk takes a kaleidoscopic view of American culture, where regional identities that used to coexist under an incongruous banner have fractured into ever-intensifying exaggerations of (a)historical identity. City-states coalesce and collapse around present-day concepts in a parody of how nostalgia stymies cultural progress. Communities style themselves after things that have no relevance in a quasi-apocalpyse. The great lakes and their names and their sports teams should be less real than ever, but they persist for the same reason that a V-tuber is president: their existence serves the state. Micronational identity serves the state. Sports fanaticism serves the state. Each fragment of the old country is a brainless, struggling, starving creature, and they use whatever they can to maintain coherence, down to owning the world's largest ball of twine.

Not sure where this came from. Peaches' monologue about the continuity of history and inescapable service to the state has me thinking.

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

Swordmaster Girlfailure: A Reaction Liveblog

Thanks to @prokopetz I have been introduced to Swordmaster Girlfailure, a mindblowing epic by @manorpunk about a Filipina ninja transgirl trying to find estrogen in the postapocalyptic Midwest, told entirely in 4chan greentext. I am reading the whole thing right the fuck now and reblogging my reactions because NINJA TRANSGIRLFAILURE STUMBLING HAPHAZARDLY THROUGH POSTAPOCALYPTIC MIDWEST IN SHITTY GREENTEXT FORMAT WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT IN LIFE

[mrhorizons]

If I had a nickel for every time I've read a story about a trans woman in the post-apocalypse, I'd have three nickels.

[bridferchglyn]

Reading Swordmaster Girlfailure and I am actually CRYING it is so funny

@manorpunk I am in awe of you

[manorpunk]

Random Encounter Table - Princess Edition:

Rhonda Rotten

Mold-Mother

Anarqueen

The Dragon Princess

Voting ended onMay 13

Rhonda Rotten - Despite the rough-sounding name, Rhonda Rotten is a bookish princess with pigtails and large glasses, armed with a yaoi-paddle macuahuitl. Any men traveling through Rhonda Rotten's fiefdom are legally required to "smooch it up crazy-style" with another guy before leaving. Various thumps and muffled voices can be heard from the basement of her throne room.

Mold-Mother - The Mold-Mother is an enigmatic woman dressed in mold-covered robes atop her throne of decomposing organic matter. Locals claim she can "commune with the spores" and even direct various plagues and illnesses upon her enemies. Anyone who spends an extended period of time in the Mold-Mother's throne room will suffer from confusion, weakness, and 2d6 poison damage. A successful investigation of the throne room will reveal a carbon monoxide leak.

The Anarqueen - in an attempt to square her ideological commitment to anarcho-communism with her desire to be a princess, The Anarqueen hosts a mock execution of herself every Saturday. While there is nothing explicitly sexual about the mock execution, it's very obviously a sex thing.

The Dragon Princess - a sweet li'l cutie patootie in an adorable dragon costume. Has personally executed 1,295 uppity serfs.