Traumatized System X Stable-ish Singlet love is so underrated.
- safe person X protective collective
- we get to experience love in so many different ways together: romantic love with those dating, platonic love from others who aren’t together but still close, and a family like love with some of the younger alters
- system partner gets to fall in love with singlet partner over and over as different alters get to know the singlet (we can actually go on 50 first dates lol /ref)
- spoon swapping!! It has helped us both so much, our partner handling tasks that are too painful or complex for us and we handle tasks that are too mentally taxing for him, while we both learn to taking the time to understand who in our system is better at handling what
- as the system can recognize dangers, abuse, and toxicity, the singlet gets protected and taught about red flags & mistreatment
- as our singlet partner grew up with a more stable life, our partner has helped us understand what is actually normal and safe, what wasn’t okay, and helping us find a more stable and happy life
- having someone to help us in the morning when blurry, confused and in pain (this morning for example, we couldn’t move our limbs properly due to poor circulation and our nerve pain, nauseous as fuck, and he quickly got up to help us move and reassured us in our blurry state)
- our singlet partner slowly gets to recognize each individual based our different facial expression, body language, voice, interests, etc… (our partner has gotten so good at it that he can notice our micro-switches and have accurate guesses of who was out for a moment)
- our singlet partner has such a deep understanding of each individual he meets and who we are as a collective
- as a system we get to see so many different sides of our singlet partner and we individually have our own reasons for loving him
- being able to have safe sexual experiences with eachother where we can better learn and understand our boundaries, interests and preferences, despite the both of us having sexual trauma
- learning and understanding together how deep and multifaceted the human brain can be
- taking the time to research each others disorders to better understand one another’s similarity’s and differences
- seeing our singlet partners different ego states and helping him understand himself better
- being physically disabled being able to trust our partner to help take care of us when we’re in too much pain and be patient with the more vulnerable alters that end up fronting
- our partner meeting our alters we don’t have good communication with helping us establish better connection within ourselves
- we have to add a note about how beautiful cluster B and autistic love can be when there’s mutual trust and support
- us being chronically ill and physically disabled and our partner taking time to knowing how to take care of us and be patient with vulnerable alters when we can’t take care of ourselves due to pain
- Grounding and Stimming together
- being an interabled couple means we’ve been able to have help with our mobility aids, someone to help manage our medications, help in the shower, assistance walking and moving around when we can’t, help with pain and comforting the alters that have to go through it, and generally just having assistance wherever and whenever needed has changed our life drastically and for the better
- understanding that affective empathy isn’t needed to love each other when building love off of connection and understanding, while practicing using cognitive empathy
- we have been so lucky as to have a partner who’s family has been so understanding and curious about our system as well as our other issues, and have done there best to make us feel safe and comfortable- we used to not be able to hug others but we were hugging everyone last time we saw them!!! /pos
- a group of boyfriends that all love their boyfriend <3
I wish I could explain it all better, as we struggle with alexthemia and have npd/aspd so love is difficult, weird and confusing, however this relationship and connection is so deep and special to us, something we never thought possible, expecially with someone without a system and I wanted to share as it’s almost the end of pride month and we love our boyfriend.
