If Warbreaker and Stormlight characters met each other...
[Spoilers for Warbreaker & for Stormlight!]
Stormlight characters have previously encountered Mistborn characters from both Era 1 and Era 2. But in honor of my finally rereading Warbreaker, let’s see what that matchup might be like!
Adolin: THREE new elaborate dresses? Every morning?!
Siri: Yes!! And they always had some more in the back too, just in case!
Adolin: And they just...destroyed the ones you didn’t wear?
Siri: I think so! They NEVER repeated options and I know they burned the ones I did wear!
Adolin: Who was designing & crafting half a dozen royal gowns every single day??
Siri: I don’t know! But they must have been AMAZING at their jobs--and very okay with their beautiful work being destroyed.
Adolin: It’s both a fashion triumph and a fashion crime at the same time!
Vivenna: And I hired these mercenary bodyguards to help me stop the war but it turned out they were working against me and tried to kill me!
Elhokar: Omg that’s my worst nightmare!
Elhokar: It happened to me too! One of my own guards tried to assassinate me!
Vivenna: That’s horrible! How come?
Elhokar: Oh some mix-up where I threw his innocent grandparents in jail & left them there until they died.
Vivenna: And you’re the good guy in this story?
Susebron: For fifty years, I had no tongue. They cut it out.
Susebron: Until one day, a god gave his life to heal me.
Lopen: That’s an amazing story, gon!
Lopen: I was a one-armed Herdazian for a while.
Lopen: Then I grew my own arm back. And nobody died!
Lopen: Hey, so basically, I’m stronger than a God King!
Lopen: Can I stick you to a wall?
Denth: Funny thing about being a mercenary.
Denth: You literally tell people that you’re just in it for the money. That you’re not a good person.
Denth: And they’re still shocked when you betray them for the money!
Sadeas: I know what you mean.
Sadeas: I told Dalinar that his honor would get him killed.
Sadeas: And then when I took advantage of his honor and left him to die, he was like...surprised Pikachu face.
Denth: [tsks] No one values honesty anymore.
5. Weatherlove & Bridge Four
[Author’s note: Weatherlove is just a random Returned that Lightsong hangs out with once.]
Drehy: Wow! Look at this small but muscular man!
Weatherlove: Small?? I-I’ll have you know that we gods TOWER over the common man!
Teft: I mean, you’re only a little taller than Kaladin and Moash.
Rock: And shorter than me, ha!
Sigzil: The Fused are quite a bit taller than you.
Skar: You do look strong, though! I bet you could carry a bridge--with practice.
Weatherlove: ...I hate this place.
Lightsong: I hear that you are one of the wittiest characters in your book.
Shallan: I’ve been known to turn a phrase or two. You as well?
Lightsong: Written to be someone who could thrive in an Oscar Wilde play!
Shallan: Why do you suppose we’re talking about wittiness rather than actually saying anything witty?
Lightsong: I have to imagine the blogger doesn’t have any idea how to write dialogue between characters like us!
Lightsong: A true loss for all.
Jasnah: As a Veristitalian, I’ll admit I’m interested to talk with another planet’s Goddess of Honesty.
Blushweaver: Yes, and with the two of us together, one truth has already been made plain.
Jasnah: Oh? What is that?
Blushweaver: Looking at us, it’s clear that honesty must be stored in the boobs.
Blushweaver: They don’t call you a VerisTITalian for nothing!
8. Kaladin, Adolin, Renarin & Vasher
Vasher: Yes, yes. It’s me.
Adolin: Stormfather! It’s YOU!
Vasher: So we’ve established.
Vasher: Yes, yes. Everyone is so observant today.
Hoid: Stop stealing my bit!!!
