#szpd things

[urnmom]

i will never be able to maintain friendships without pretending because everyone is a fucking bother. theyre either better than i, or im better than them. im tired of acting like i give a shit. no one is special. i hate them all

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[urnmom]

thinking, "i despise them. they think im softer and kinder than i truly am. but of course people below me wouldnt understand," when my mask around my family literally consists, and consists deliberately, of being more innocent to hide the fact that i am growing up to be a shitty human

via ☀️

[urnmom]

vagueposting with a doodle

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[urnmom]

okay but what purpose is there in life other than to make your brain produce the happy chemical and why cant i develop a major substance abuse problem to do it

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[goblinheirarchy-archive]

when your life is falling apart around you but you dont care enough to fix it

[schaddenfreude]

Tszpdfw I don't think I'm the ideal person to be helping people with certain things and yet I seem to be constantly offering comfort or advice to people who come to me BECAUSE I'm impartial and detached.

[fiathefae]

me: types, "see you soon :)" me internally: i Lied. i am not Happy i do not feel the Joy i am a Liar and will be found out Soon

[goblinheirarchy-archive]

i think

i think im going to add to my my original self diagnosis that i have bpd i think i may have schizoid too

i know i already established bpd and this that and the other stuff and to be blunt some of what i reblogged to my bpd tag was just to yknow, fit into the label (which is a common bpd thing) and actually not at all related to me

but anyways heres the checklist

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty perceiving myself, other people, and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

2 / 4

Section II Must check FOUR or more of the following:

I don’t enjoy close relationships at all, including being part of a family.

I prefer solitary activities which don’t involve communicating with others.

I have little or no interest in having intimate experiences with another person. (OP’s note: The DSM actually says “sexual” experiences, but I feel this excludes asexual people and attempts to pathologize asexuality, so I change the wording to “intimate” to include closeness in any kind of relationship.)

I don’t enjoy a lot of activities, and it’s difficult for me to be interested in anything.

I have no close friends or confidants other than maybe first-degree relatives.

I am pretty much indifferently to both praise and criticism from others.

I am emotionally cold and incredibly detached.

6 / 7

Section III Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

My symptoms are not better explained by schizophrenia, an episode caused by bipolar disorder, or autism spectrum disorder.

Section IV Common symptoms ad behaviors (not required for diagnosis):

I am not a very expressive person at all.

I am the ultimate introvert, in that I do not like spending time with other people at all most of the time.

I feel I am less sensitive in my five senses as well.

My feelings are not easily hurt.

I have difficulty relating to others and understanding them.

I don’t pick up well on social cues.

I’m never sure how to react in social situations, and I find myself sticking to simple movements (such as smiling and nodding).

I rarely express my feelings to others.

I find social situations incredibly distressing.

I have difficulty expressing anger, even when someone is confronting me directly.

I have difficulty setting goals for myself, and I feel like I drift through life.

I can usually work very diligently on a task if I am left alone to my own devices and do not have to work on a team.

I experience psychotic episodes.

I am often depressed and/or anxious.

I am far more passive than assertive.

10 / 15

hm

i met the minimum here and then some as compared to my bpd checklist which didnt even meet the minimum but i did have a bunch of the minor symptoms so

major: schizoid

minor: bpd

there i think that makes more sense to me tbh

okay carry on