So I've learned a lot about 3-4 year olds and their perception of gender as a trans preschool teaching assistant! Being a trans teacher is so important!!!
Sure, working at a preschool my first day me and the teacher I assist had to explain that just because a toy was pink and glamorous doesn't mean the boys in the class can't join in on the fun, but that's just the sad reality of gender norms starting to bleed into their life.
I am a pre-T (genderfluid) trans guy, and I'm not out to my coworkers. Though the teachers refer to me as 'Miss [X]' and the kids follow suit when told to, I get to hear cool ass phrases like, "Ask Miss [X], HE was there."
I bring in my Mirage plush with her little dress, and all the kids call her a boy. When I draw traditionally masculine figures for the kids, they'll deem them women just for fun. I'll draw them a boy, and they'll ask me to give him a pretty ribbon. Dresses can be for boys. They don't care.
It also should be noted they don't call boys girls or girls boys in a mean, joking way. I've never heard any malice behind their words. It's just.. normal to them. Not something to think about or consider weird because they're too busy worrying about when they get to go outside or who gets to get their back patted first at naptime.
I'm Miss [X] sometimes, they'll use she/her for me, or call me a sister, but not without immediately following up calling me a guy. It's pretty great!
I've come in without binding sometimes or maybe with a little excess eyeliner from the night before, and they'll still call me a boy. I think that in my coworkers (likely clocking me) not correcting them, I might be able to open their minds a little to how much fun you can have without limiting yourself to what's "only for girls/boys".
I'm both to them. I'm a trustworthy sister to the girls in the class and a brother to play monster trucks with for the boys. It's actually really funny how they fought over which 'team' I was on my first few days there.
I think we need more trans teachers consistently throughout all schooling, but especially early on so that kids know how many opportunities they have. A lot more kids would start out confident in themselves and explore outside of what they were born into if they only knew they were allowed to do that.
