Too Much Fun
A humorous series of vignettes in which people try to atone for having “too much fun” during certain Jewish holidays. One guy just has a long list of people he threw up on, and he tries to apologize to all of them in a single day.

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Too Much Fun
A humorous series of vignettes in which people try to atone for having “too much fun” during certain Jewish holidays. One guy just has a long list of people he threw up on, and he tries to apologize to all of them in a single day.
RAVENCLAW: “I have learnt much from my teachers, more from my colleagues, and most from my students.” –Rabi Hanina (Ta’anit)
I know that the fast is coming up this Thursday, but I was wondering: since I have anemia and a very, very low body weight for my age group, would I be prohibited from participating in the fast? I want to, but I'm not sure if it would harm me.
I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel qualified to answer this. I’m a fifteen-year-old schoolgirl, not a religious or medical authority, and I could do real harm if I gave you the wrong answer.
If you’re very worried about this, speak to a doctor and/or rabbi, but remember that your health is paramount.
Because I tend to forget minor fast days until 11pm the night before, and the last time I posted a reminder people thanked me, here it is.
Thursday 13th March is Ta'anit Esther, the Fast of Esther, during which you cannot eat from dawn until dusk (you can find your exact timings here), unless you have a health problem
The Jews were given leave to fight back against the Persian oppressors on 13th Adar, and so they fasted on this day. Also, before her audience with the king, Queen Esther fasted. We fast to commemorate these fasts.
Adar 13th is on Shabbat this year. Normally, when a fast falls on Shabbat, we delay the fast until Sunday, but it would interrupt the Purim festivities if we were fasting during it so instead we fast on the Thursday beforehand. In honor of the Shabbat, we even refrain from fasting on Friday. (If, however, you forget to fast on Thursday, you should fast on Friday.)
More technical fast information here.
May your fasts be easy and meaningful!
Also, it is customary to give three coins in "half" denominations (half-dollars for Americans; I guess I'd give three 50p pieces?) to charity on the afternoon of the Fast of Esther, to commemorate the half-shekel given by every Jew to the Holy Temple. The Talmud credits these half-shekel donations as having counteracted the 10,000 silver talents Haman gave to King Achashveirosh to obtain the royal decree calling for the extermination of the Jewish people.
Ta'anit: Chapter 4, Mishnayot 7-8; Megillah: Chapter 1, Mishna 1
When Ab comes, rejoicing diminishes. On the week of the 9th of Ab, it is forbidden to get a haircut and wash clothing. The foregoing comprises the sum total of the mishna's contribution to the modern industrial complex known as the "three weeks." How far we've come from these basics in our current competition of stringencies.
Shim'on the son of Gamliel describes the tranquil scenes on kippur and the 15th of Ab. Israelite girls emerging from their houses in white dresses dancing in the vineyards. it is unclear which Shim'on authors the statement: the one who lived through the destruction of the temple or the 2nd century tanna. It would be infinitely richer if it was the former, describing the hopes of the people in the immediate aftermath of destruction in returning to the joys of temple times.
The last chapter of our mishna concerns itself with the 9th of Ab and the 17th of Tammuz. No mention is made of the other "historical" fast days of the Hebrew calendar, the 3rd of Tishri, 10th of Tebet and 13th of Adar. The absence of the first two are exceptionally curious, considering they were mentioned in Zechariah 8:19 and must have been in effect during mishnaic times. The absence of Ta'anit Esther does not perturb; it seems that this fast day was not practiced until post-talmudic times.
An appropriate segue into Massekhet Megillah.
Ta'anit: Chapter 4, Mishnayot 4-6
The mishna lists the events that according to tradition occurred on the 9th of Ab and the 17th of Tammuz. Historically-minded readers may question the veracity of whether each of these events actually occurred on the exact same date.
A timely selection about Jewish memory from Yerushalmi's Zakhor (lightly edited):
What was "remembered" had little or nothing to do with historical knowledge in any sense that we would assign to such a phrase. The Jews who mourned in the synagogue over the loss of the Temple all knew a date of the month, but I doubt if most knew or cared about the exact year when either the First or Second Temples were destroyed, let alone the tactics and weapons employed. The memories articulated in dirges of great poetic power were elemental and moving, but phrased in modes that simply bypass our notions of "knowing history." Here is a short selection from a long lament for the 9th of Ab which reveals just one way in which Jewish collective memory could structure itself:
Moses sang a song that would never be forgotten—when I left Egypt, Jeremiah mourned and cried out in grief—when I left Jerusalem.
The sea-waves pounded but stood up like a wall—when I left Egypt, The waters overflowed and ran over my head—when I left Jerusalem
Moses led me and Aaron guided me—when I left Egypt, Nebuchadnezzar and the Emperor Hadrian—when I left Jerusalem.
It is the antiphony of the hammering refrain that first catches out attention. The "memory" of being exiled from Jerusalem is established and heightened by a repeatedly inverted comparison with the exodus from Egypt, the archetypal locus of Jewish historical reference. The lament is almost devoid of concrete historical details. That which is remembered here transcends the recollection of any particular episode in an ancient catastrophe.
For whatever memories were unleashed by the commemorative rituals and liturgies were surely not a matter of intellection, but of evocation and identification.
It is a curious thing, how we fast today. I recently received this flier for an event taking place on the ninth of Ab: commemorate the destruction of the temples with an Elizabeth Taylor film.
Calendrical felicities: yesterday was the 9th of Ab, almost exactly to the day of reading this mishna.
Ta'anit: Chapter 4, Mishnayot 1-3
In pursuit of comprehension, the rabbis of the talmud feel free to violate the text of the mishna. Per the mishna, "there are three occasions in which kohanim bless the nation four times a day, in shahrit, musaf, minha and ne'ilah: on fast days, ma'amadot and yom kippur." But, considering ne'ilah is recited only once a year, on yom kippur alone, this statement seems faulty. The rabbis of the talmud insert the words into the mishnaic text: "there three occasions in which kohanim bless the nation at each prayer and of these, on yom kippur, the blessing is recited four times a day..."
I will admit that this freedom strikes me as scandalous. But I cannot conceive the realistic possibility that the rabbis of the mishna actually had the practice of reciting ne'ilah on days other than kippur. The sole explanation that satisfies is that the redactor was seeking the most economical formula; or that the formula was already fairly fixed by the time the mishnaic redactor arrives at this subject matter.
The reference to ma'amadot puzzle. The temple administration consisted of shifts of Kohanim and Levites, and of ma'amadot of Israelites. The latter fasted on certain days of the week and read the torah. This group was present in the temple precincts, and they maintained certain practices even outside of Jerusalem. Considering their place in the temple practices, this group suffers an extremely low public awareness in Jewish circles. Their low profile, coupled with their proximity to temple worship, leads to an Eco-esque suspicion of an ancient guild holding secrets to the universe, like the Templars or the Rosicrucions.
Additional Note! Birkat kohanim is not daily performed during minha because of the fear that kohanim would recite it drunk, a forbidden practice. Just what were these kohanim doing during the day that this was a real concern?
Ta'anit: Chapter 3, Mishnayot 7-9
Magick and the divine name. In the intersection of a high dependence on agriculture with the belief in the efficacy of prayer, Jews were highly sensitive to appeals to the divine to halt rainfall.
On Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, the high priest enters the holiest of holies. Among his short prayers is that God deny the requests of travelers, who pray for no rain. Our current mishna includes the story of Honi the circle drawer who invokes the authentic divine name to make it rain instantaneously and in the precise manner intended. Honi refuses to request God discontinue the rainfall.
All this praying in favor of and against an occurrence strikes me as uncomfortably similar to the sophomoric practice of fans of opposing football teams holding up similar "John 3:16" oak tags.