Domestic Taekey | Heartbroken
a/n This takes place right after Kibum cheated on Taemin when they were younger (read about it in Scrapbooks )
We don't want our hearts to break in two
Partying like he had been over the past few months wasn’t apart of Taemin’s plan. Who wanted to spend the end of his senior year either drunk, high, or hungover? But for Taemin, it was his only way to cope. The alcohol made him forget, the weed made him numb, every one night stand and hookup he had made him feel wanted, and being hungover was just a way to distract himself from the pain in his heart. Kibum cheating had left such a large hole in him that he didn’t know if he would ever be happy again. He’d spent a whole month locked up in his room apart from school after that night. He cut off all their mutual friends apart from Jongin and the occasional ranting phone call to Jinki while he was sad drunk.He ignored every call and text he got from Kibum, and he was glad when slowly the calls stopped and the text frequency dwindled. He was content with his new life, because he could have fun and forget everyone who hurt him.
Rule #1: You gotta have fun.
He was hurt.
He was angry.
He was devastated.
He was broken.
One of his favorite people has gone and done something he didn’t know if he could ever forgive.
How could Kibum cheat? And right before Taemin was due to start school at the same university. He accepted the dinky college scholarship for Kibum. What does a 17 year old do when his love ripped his heart out?
He parties, goes out, forgets about the pain.
Life is too short to spend it grieving over a relationship that meant nothing to the other person. Kibum was Taemin’s first real love. Kibum had been who Taemin wanted forever with. He craved to be with Kibum, but if Kibum didn’t want him. Didn’t see him as good enough, who was Taemin to stop him from leaving?
Alcohol and Weed ran through his veins, late night parties at abandoned warehouses, and racing their cars along dirt roads and hiding in the bushes from the cops. This is what his life had become post-Kibum.
Rule #2: Don't get attached to somebody you could lose.
He doesn’t let himself get blackout drunk this often. It was his 18th birthday, he had just graduated, and he was finally free of that shitty school that held so many bittersweet memories.
He stumbled through the warm living room of his best friend’s house, winding around other people to get to the dancefloor. His plastic cup was clutched in one hand and his phone was in the other. He was on his fourth drink, two more than he usually needed to get drunk. He was too small to have a decent alcohol tolerance, so he was already gone for the night.
He was looking for someone to hookup with, someone who wouldn’t mind him leaving before the morning. Some called him a player, others a slut. It all depended on who he was going to hookup with that night.
He spotted a thin guy, probably around his age across the room from him. The guy had sandy brown hair and pale skin and Taemin thought he looked perfect to have for the night.
He made his way over and made eye contact with the boy who grinned devilishly as soon as Taemin drew closer.
“Lee Taemin.” the boy said in an arrogant voice. “Zach, right?” Taemin questioned, sipping his drink. He was hooking up tonight.
Rule #3 Wear your heart on your cheek, but never on your sleeve unless you wanna taste defeat
Being cruel to his old friends wasn’t easy. But he had to hide the hurt, hide everything from them. He would fall into a depression if he didn’t supplement Kibum’s void with temporary happiness, he would lose himself completely. Not telling and now showing people how messy he was on the inside was part of the facade. On the inside he was a young kid who lost the only person he could ever actually see himself loving truly. He was a boy who has gotten his heart ripped out and set on fire. He threw away his hopes of being a famous dancer to he close to the one he loved, so he lost everything at once. He felt so lonely and broken. And the only people who knew were Jongin and Jinki. They were the only ones telling Taemin’s previous friends how he was.
Rule #4 Gotta be lookin’ pure. Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more
He tried dating after a few months of recklessness over his last semester of high school. Maybe going on dates rather than just sleeping with someone could make Taemin release the void that still sat in his heart and weighed on his stomach.
Summer is a great season for dates; bike riding, picnics, movies in the park. But that didn’t help Taemin at all. He realized that more people liked him without the party boy facade, however he also realized that he was leading these boys on when they went on dates. He’d drop them at their house and if they were lucky he’d give them a kiss on the cheek. But he never contacted them after the first date. No one was Kibum, and no one could break the emotional walls he had built after Kibum. A/N I know I haven’t written in a hot minute. But I’m going through a breakup with a horrible guy and I’m really reckless feeling at the moment so I wrote about being reckless instead of being reckless. I hope to write more soon becuase I’ll be moving back home in like 2 weeks~
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