Discover Top Posts Tagged with #talking to inanimate objects

Oh my god, he’s me

My shirt *catches on the door handle*

Me *staring sternly and pointing at the door handle*: “keep your hands to yourself!”

Me, talking to the inanimate object that fell over after I told it to stay: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

dropping my iphone in 2012: heart racing. terror rising. Is The Screen Broken??? No. Whew. My life can go on.

dropping my iphone in 2019: watching it fall and feeling nothing... oh, you think you’re special or something?

they’re both NERDS

Netflix Struggles

Me: Time to watch Netflix.

Netflix: I'm here to ruin your life and waste your time

Me: Starts binging the Vampire Diaries

Netflix: You're going to regret this.

Me: No I'm not.

*5 episodes in*

Netflix: Are you still watching?

Me: Yes, yes I am. Shut up and go away.

Netflix: Just trying to be your buddy and watch out for you and help you reach your life goals.

*midnight approaches*

Me: one more episode.

Netflix: you should probably go to bed. You are going to be a complete miserable mess tomorrow if you don't get enough sleep.

*ignores Netflix's suggestion* *falls asleep at 6am after watching 5 more episodes*

Me: wakes up a groggy miserable mess and forgets everything I need to do and goes back to binging.

Netflix: Did I not tell you to sleep and stop watching?

Me: Is that your polite way to tell me I told you so?

Netflix: Yes, yes it is.

Me: screw you Netflix for ruining my life.

One t-two three for five six s-seven ei- How'd you get h-here?

Me: [standing at the fridge with the door open, gazing hopelessly within]

The fridge door: [beeps]

Me: oh shut up. No one likes a whiney baby.

#talking to inanimate objects