Request: Hi! Can I request ohshc x host reader? And just something fun and reader teasing them or something along those lines?
Title: Teasing the Ouran Host Club
Genre: fluff, comedy (i mean...it’s the host club. what is to be expected when they’re being lighthearted.)
Pairing: Ouran Host Club x GN!Reader (platonic)
Notes: Okay, so this request sent me someplace because this sounds hilarious and the antics that a host could get up to with these guys - oh my.
That being said, I defaulted the reader here to be gender neutral, mostly because Haruhi is a host, and I want to be able to keep anybody reading in the general fantasy of the whole experience.
I also took some liberties with the format, so I hope that you don’t mind these being headcanons. I find them the easiest to write, but they also leave room for the most comedic moments on both parts (the hosts and the reader).
I left some things vague for the sake of reader ‘control’ if you understand. I hope you don’t mind it and enjoy the piece nonetheless.
Below the cut!
let me cover something first: you being an addition to the host club is a blessing to this group of students.
whether or not you are an official part of the host club, the group can and will find a way to tease you (excluding tamaki - in the beginnning)
tamaki may also jump in to provide an attempt at comfort, but-
who are we kidding? he’d be quick to embarrass himself and hide away in his emo corner.
otherwise, when you do become an official host - HOO BOY.
the twins will target you.
the catch is that you have observed all of their tricks from the halls and classrooms.
you were able to pick up on a fair amount of things that they would pull.
so this led to you recruiting some backup to get them back.
if their prank was set for you, it would backfire (at least the first time).
if you set a prank for them, it’d get them (the first few times - guaranteed)
seriously. catch them doing something stupid and obnoxious (read: P R A N K) and boom
there’s your chance.
when they’re plotting, you’ve already had a plan and they just fell into your trap.
this would be rare though, as you’d be avoiding each other’s pranks after the first couple run-ins.
once the pranks become common, you’d be jumping to prepare yourself with a water gun and ice cold water at the beach and a fresh pack of gum and a gag toy to leave them in the middle of class.
otherwise, while tamaki is trying to claim dominance in the club endeavor(s), kyoya is watching you and the twins go at it.
eventually, your attention will be drawn from them (whether from your own clients or theirs) and most likely to honey-senpai or kyoya himself.
the difference between the two is that you tease honey about his cake choices and kyoya about the way he handles himself
(cheesy as it is, ‘icicle’ and ‘mr.-ever-bored-parent’ are your favorites and some of the other host club members have picked up on it).
otherwise, when things get completely settled and you get into a routine, kyoya will take up teasing you relentlessly.
yep, he might even ignore the twins antics just to make sure that you are a vulnerable-ish target
and then he’ll attack.
it may be a simple verbal attack (”that’s very rich, coming from someone that cannot find a way to keep their mouth shut and their hands out of trouble.” “oh, shut it icicle.”)
or it may be something in which he would put a figurative cherry on top of the twins last prank
(read: he would actually put something on top of your head to finish it off. it gets the whole club into tears, aside from tamaki - he busy trying to contain any of the customers if they’re in the room.)
otherwise, intellect teasing comes with the job.
it’s a lot of cheesy chemistry-based pick up lines that kyoya will either follow along with or try not to walk out of the room.
either way, the banter is enough to keep the both of you content.
when it comes to tamaki, though...
yeah, he refuses to outright tease you.
and you know this, so you take advantage of it.
one day, you may actually tag team with the twins and go at him relentlessly.
“hey, tamaki, has that girl with the host-hopping disease come by lately?”
tamaki: emo corner mode
“hey, tamaki-”
“no, (y/n). not today, please. i don’t want to talk about her.”
“i wasn’t. i was gonna ask how the chase for haruhi was doing, you dolt.”
tamaki: emo corner.
haruhi: wtf, (y/n)
(if he does really get bothered by it (like, seriously bothered and upset), just remind him that this is all in good fun.)
otherwise, haruhi is a different story.
she is 100% willing to throw a monotonous comment at you if you were to ever shoot one at her.
want to tease her about her debt? great, she’ll shoot one at you about the uniform you destroyed in an attempt to get back at the twins.
tease her about her reactions? she’ll throw one right back at you about how your childishness “reeks and can be smelled from miles away.”
yeah, pretty fun when you have someone that isn’t afraid to pull something out of her big brain and throw out what she can take.
it’s mutual and it’s easily one of the most entertaining parts of your day.
from time to time, too, you share some teasing with mori.
yeah, he doesn’t speak much, but when it does get him to say something
yeah, you get ecstatic. you, simple (y/n) (l/n), got the takashi morinozuka to say something.
most of the time, it’ll be when you are trying to test your limits and throw out a few cheesy math pick-up lines at him in an attempt to gather a reaction.
“i heard you like math, so what’s the sum of u + me?”
“are you a 30 degree angle? because you are acute-y.”
“are you a square number, because my love for you is exponential.”
(credits go to jokes4us, you may continue.)
that last one got a small smile out of him and your ego just got boosted by ten.
yeah, stuff like that got you excited. honey-senpai enjoyed the show, as well.
on that note, you rarely teased honey-senpai to the extent of the others.
he was too sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything more than tease him about his cake of the day.
even then, it was very light.
typically something along the lines of, “honey-senpai, that’s the cake for today? i thought you didn’t like that flavor.”
“but, (y/n)-chan, they liked the cake! i hadn’t tried it before.”
“wow, really? pardon me saying this, but that’s new.”
yeah, the teasing and the complete demeanor between the two of you attracted more customers for the both of you, and you two would often work together when you had customers.
but, overall, teasing within the club is great on all fronts.
tamaki may falter a little bit, but he is very much for it otherwise. yeah, he won’t say anything, but the experience is great.
the other hosts enjoy your company as well, and from time to time, kyoya and tamaki will jump at the chance to praise you on your ability to attract customers (though the reasons will be different.)
so yeah, 10/10, definitely worth the relentless hours of annoyance they can cause. your ability to tease them keeps them in check when they need to be (in the case of the members that need that to be established).
