#taylorthomas

[soulpowercoach]

#GRATITUDE to @iamcandiceadkins & the wonderful staff at @whurfm for inviting me back into the studio for a great conversation about When Is It Okay To Say No? on #thedailydrum w #TaylorThomas sitting in for Harold Fischer. If you missed the great tips on enforcing your personal boundaries that @doking & I shared, look out for the replay on #WHUR #thedailydrum blog The link to the Stress & Anxiety workshop I mentioned http://FindUnspeakableJoy.com/Workshop is in my bio

[crowsister-archive]

Blackwatch Theme (Overwatch Tribute) by Taylor Thomas http://ift.tt/2a6y4I4

[gypsysoulandweakbones-blog]

Anew

It felt like fire. When you touched me for the first time. But I didn't burn. No, you didn't leave scares for an entire year. And its funny & stupid & fucking ridiculous to me that no matter how much they tell you it will hurt you don't believe them until its happening. Until you feel your throat closing up and your seem to be failing you because there are no tears to quite measure up someone not loving you anymore. I can't help but question what all you remember about us. Because I remember how many seconds it it took you to kiss me the first time I looked into your eyes in a way that screamed, Take me for all that I am! And I remember our first touch, your arm around me, we were joking. And I hate writing about you because you don't deserve my words and you never quite appreciated my shitty writing or the fact that I see the world so differently from you. And I'm sorry that I'm not beautiful or elegant and that yeah, I tried to leave you so many times with the scissors and the pills and I'm Still Here.

And when you're still here you have to hope there's a reason. Its ironic how a failure can save your life.

You were a lie, a disease to my life and I'll stand by myself before I'd ever lay by your side. I tape myself to walls to see how long I can hang.

I know that you took me down.

Somewhere, somehow, I'm all boxed up and dusty and I don't quite matter as much as I do in my own head and I guess we all end up that way one day and I should feel okay or normal about it but I don't. I wanted to be strung above your bed and gazed at like the stars and I know I'm not a god but I wanted to be the girl that changed your life.

And that makes me feel like such a pussy, like wow there's a part of me that wants marriage and kids and that's disgusting.

I hope you hold yourself up to the stars because there are pieces of you in every single one. I hope that you glance in a mirror one day and you don't grimace because your smile is beautiful. The sun lives within you and if you can just stand to peel back your skin long enough to let it shine through, I swear to god that you'd see it too.

If I could, I'd take your hand and grip it tight and you'd have me until our hands went numb and you'd have me until they withered away. I am yours. I do not belong to myself, I am a string of words, I am a gust of wind, I am a ray of light.

I'd let you nestle into me like a mouse to a home in the winter. You can fill my empty spaces and keep them warm.

You know, I was so scared of all these little things when you left. I thought I'd never breathe again. I thought I'd never be able to wear the same perfume.

Like, if I did the things I used to with you, if I smelled the same, I'd only be me without you.

But I am a piece of the sky.

I am a piece of heaven and hell and I swear to God that I matter. Even if I don't count to you, or the rest of the world, I am here. My lungs are moving and all is as well as it can be.

I hope that you hold yourself up. I hope that when your legs break, you shed them and grow anew on the sunny steps. I hope that when your lungs fill with tar, you have the courage to reach in and scrape them clean.

I hope that I won't be angry with you in five years.