Series summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.
He wants to say it. God, he wants to say it, can feel the way the words form on the back of his tongue, and now would be so perfect, butβ¦ but they have a deal, they have a promise, and he wonβt break it.
βEighteen,β he breathes instead, wobbly smile pulling at his lips. βYβknow?β
or: five times harley almost saysΒ i love youΒ and the day he finally does.
To Build A Family (Adore-centric) 1/? - passionβvictim
AN: This is the prologue for the story, more action to come! Also more chapters of Strange Love are coming (meanwhile enjoy a fluffy fic).
AU set in a period where Adore isnβt getting booked much. Female pronouns for Danny/Adore. Pronouns shift for Roy/Bianca depending on the level of drag.
PS I apologize for any formatting issues this was written & submitted on mobile
β
βYANX!β Adoreβs face lit up as she opened the FaceTime call.
βHey pussyface, enjoying my house?β
βI ran out of cheetos last night.β
βAnd you thought Iβd have them becauseβ¦.?β
βI left like 8 bags in your pantry a few months ago but I guess weβve had them all.β
βWE?β
βI miss you. Your bed was extra lonely last night.β
βOnly a few more months.β
βToo long. Iβm bored,β Adore whined. βAll by myself, donβt wanna be, all by myself, anymoreβ¦β she sang.
βYou could do something you know, meet up with someone?β
βEveryoneβs on tour,β she said quietly.
βIβll be home soon.β
βLiesβ she quipped.
βWhy donβt you find a baby queen to mentor? Find a mini you, or if youβre really desperate join one of those big brother programs,β Roy teased more gently than his audiences could imagine.
βFuck all the way off,β she said, rolling her eyes. βWhat city are you in anyways?β
βUh, somewhere in Spain. Jamie will tell me before I step on stage.β
Adore was quiet for a moment. βB?β
Roy wordlessly raised an eyebrow.
She chewed her lip for a moment and looked up at him, βsβok,β she paused. βI should let you go, Iβll be fine,β she said with a small smile.
βIβll call later?β
βHave a good show Willow.β
β
Now Roy had been joking when he suggested that Adore find someone to mentor and Adore understood that but a few days later she found that idea bobbing around in the back of her mind.
She was performing at a local festival. Instead of being sponsored by big corporations and liquor companies, small community organizations and charities, catering to people of all walks of life, lined the rest of the park. To say she was excited was an overstatement, sure it felt good that someone wanted to book her but this fucking festival? It was a joke. Rumour had it one of Ninaβs drag daughters was set to perform but cancelled last minute due to sickness. She had given the organizer a list of names, and apparently Adore was the only one desperate enough to agree. Her manager had warned her that she needed to tone down her set and reminded her not to swear but god damn this was not her crowd. Gone were the bars and crowds chanting her name, arms reaching for a chance to feel her presence and boys throwing themselves at her. Today her audience consisted of a group of old ladies, some adults and many families.
βJohn?β
βYeah?β
βCan you get a beer?β
βDid you see your audience?β
βExactly.β
-
βYANX!β she yelled when her FaceTime call was picked up.
βHey baby.β
βGuess what.β
βYou miss me?β
βNo, I mean yeah but thatβs not it. I had a gig. I know itβs dumb and it was a joke butβ¦β
βProud of you, really. The calls are just gonna start rolling in soon.β
βThey better. Anyways thatβs not it.β
βOh?β
βI bought a kid!β
βExcuse me bitch?β
βNot bought. Rent? Iβm gonna rent one but I donβt pay.β
Roy just stared at her. βYouβre going to need to back 5 steps up and explain.β
βAt the festival there was this tent and you can get a kid to hang out with. Like you suggested Yanx.β
βOh like a Big Brother program?β
βThatβs what the tent said!β
Roy laughed to himself imaging Adore in full drag, not even day drag, singing up at a festival tent. When he had suggested that Adore find someone to mentor or teach he was mostly joking and the part that wasnβt was thinking a young queen, not someone under the age of 18. But hell this could be good for Adore, get her out of the slump she was in and do a little good for her community.
They talked for a little while longer. Roy, desperate to not make Adore more jealous, shared only bits of his tour life (what he had for dinner, how his flight was delayed 3 hours and one particularly cool fan gift).
βI wanna see itβ Adore whined.
βFine. One sec,β Roy said grabbing a drink out of the mini fridge. βThrew it in a bag here, letβs see, knew youβd want to see it.β He rummaged in his boy suitcase, βAnyways when do you meet the kid?β
βUmm I donβt know they said theyβd contact me soon I think.β
βAh here it is.β Roy said producing a perfectly done cross stitch of the ABC group, featuring Bianca in the centre with the slogan βNot Today Satanβ on the top and βCAUSE I WONβ below.
βOhmggod B I love it. I look fucking hot there.β
He chuckled and turned to see his assistant walk through.
βCar will be here in 10,β Jamie said off-camera.
βI gotta go baby girl. Miss you,β he said, puckering his lips. βKeep me updated on all this,β he said.
βLove ya B. Go kill the show,β she said pressing her face to the screen.
β
Fuck. Whereβs the fucking phone. Why is it so fucking loud. She stumbled out of bed, head throbbing, shirt missing but wearing a chain bra? Fuck.
βShut up!β she yelled at her empty apartment. There it is. Going to silence the device she accidentally picked up. βFuck.β
βDaniel Noreiga?β
βYeah?β
βThis is John from Big Brother calling. Weβre so excited to let you know that weβve found a match for you.β
βYeah what?β
βWe hope youβre able to join us and your new little sibling at our welcome event next Wednesday at 5pm. Haha thatβs a little joke there but weβre so excited to have you part of our program,β the man on the phone paused.
βOh yeah I signed up for this?β
βYes Mr. Noreiga, we have you listed and weβre very excited. We canβt tell you much about your new sibling but I know sheβs great and very excited to meet you.β
π₯π¨NOW PLAYING ON OUR #YOUTUBE CHANNELπ₯π¨.. #Repost @j_rhodes γ»γ»γ» Your #Squadron ainβt real if they donβt walk into the radio interview to dope beats in Slllllloooooow Moooo. Weβre playing Season 2 of @TheseBeatsAintFree over at @MaschineMasters ! Stay tuned as we get you all caught up in preparation for Season 3. Thank you for your continued support as we push the show all the way to a major network ! . . #TheseBeatsAintFree #TBAF #Maschine #MaschineMasters #Kontakt #NativeInstruments #Blessed #producersgear #Akai #Dallas #Texas #ProducerLife #Producer πΉ#Director π₯#Author π#Actor π¬#GeekSquad π€ πΆ#MusicProducer
Series summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.
Tw: parent abandoning their child, fluff, angst
Series masterlist
The afternoon sun filtered through the living room window and cast a swath of gold over Noah's house. You were sitting crossed-legged on the couch, watching Luna play silently, her small hands precisely set her favorite toys in a small, neat row, where Mr. Flop, her favorite bunny, had proudly taken the central point, guiding whatever game was in her head.
You smiled at her concentration, something warm blooming in your chest.
She was a perfect blend of Noah's features, a mirror image of him in her own way. She had his warm, deep brown eyes with his same subtle almond shape, dark hair, with a way chubbier face.
Noah leaned against the counter in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. Some brown locks fell over his eyes as they darted between you and his daughter in quiet contemplation and hesitation.
You could tell something was on his mind. It had been incredible between you and Noah in the past few months, but there was one part of his life he'd held carefully at arm's length: Luna.
That wasn't because he didn't trust you, you knew that. It was deeper than that, more complicated. He was protective of her in a way hard to explain unless you knew the full story, which he had only recently begun sharing with you.
It had been late one night, just the two of you curled up on his couch after Luna had gone to bed, when Noah first opened up about the relationship with his ex. In the beginning, it had been passionate-whirlwind-type love, felt like the kind that could move mountains.
But once Luna was born, everything shifted. She was never ready for the reality of being a mother, and slowly but surely, it dawned on him that with each passing day, she actually resented it. Noah tried to understand her, tried to support her in whatever way he could, but nothing seemed to help. The more he tried, the more she pulled away.
One night, Noah had come home to an empty house. No note, no explanation, just Luna, not even a year old yet, lying in her crib, and complete silence in every room. His ex was gone, had walked out on both of them, and though Noah tried to reach out, tried to get her to come back, she never did.
From that moment on, he'd vowed to protect Luna from anything or anyone that might hurt her. Or perhaps that was his way to protect himself, too.
You both were up late, the only sound in his living room coming from a small lamp in the corner of the room, its dim light.
Noah was sitting next to you on the couch, his back hunched and his elbows to his knees as he stared into the floor for thought collection. You knew he had been carrying something heavy in his head for quite some time.
"I never thought that I'd ever be a single parent," he said gruffly, as though the words hurt him to utter. "But then again, after what happened β¦I don't really see my life in any other way anymore. She is everything to me."
He stopped, rubbing a hand over his face, and in those eyes you could almost see his tiredness, not physical, but an emotional toll, when one carries so much on his shoulders alone. You said nothing, just let him work through the words at his own pace. You could feel his vulnerability hang between you like some fragile thing he was just willing to show you.
"I didn't have time to process what happened," Noah whispered. "One day I'm in this relationship and we're trying to make it work for Luna, and the next⦠she's gone. Just like that. I came home and she'd left. No explanation. No good-bye."
Your heart ached with the pain in his tone, even now raw with emotion.
βI didnβt know what the hell I was doing,β, he admitted, shaking his head. Just like that, it was him and Luna against the world.
"I was fucking terrified" he said, the corner of his lip curling up in a self-deprecating smile. "I had to figure out how to be a dad by myself, how to balance that with the band, how to be there for her when I was barely holding it together myself."
He glanced up at you then, his eyes warm with appreciation and a little fear. "She's the reason I'm so careful, you know? With relationships, with people in general. I don't ever want to bring someone into her life unless I am really sure."
He paused, his throat swallowing hard as his eyes drop once again to the floor. You could tell there was more he wanted to say, but it was hard for him to speak.
"I'm scared thatβ¦," he started, then had to force himself to continue, his voice faltering. "I'm scared that you're mad at me. Or disappointed, maybe. That I'm taking things too slow with you. That I haven't fullyβ¦ let you in yet. It's not because I don't care about you, because I do. A lot. It's justβ"
"Noah," you said softly, leaning in closer to him. "I'm not mad. I'm not disappointed. I get it, why you want to be careful. It's okay."
His eyes finally met yours, surprise flickering in them. He had been so consumed by his fear of messing things up that it hadn't occurred to him you might actually understand where he was coming from.
"You've been through much," you went on, your voice soft but clear. "And I get why you'd want to protect Luna. I'd be more concerned if you were being anything less than careful, honestly. It says how much you love her, and how much you want to do right by her. And I respect that, Noah. I'm not going anywhere."
He blinked, like he was trying to absorb what you were saying, his shoulders loosening as your words soaked in. You reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. His hand closed around yours, clasping at it like he was holding onto something solid for the first time in a long while.
"I can wait," you said with an even voice. "You need more time, I'm waiting. I do care for you, for both of you. And I don't want to make anything if you are not ready yet. What matters to me is that we're moving forward, even if it's slow."
Noah's breath slightly caught, emotion swelling up in his eyes as he continued to carry that weight for such a long time, terrified that by taking things slow, he was pushing you away, when all you wanted was to meet him where he was.
"I don't know how to do that," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I've been so scared of screwing this up, of screwing us up. But you⦠you've just been there."
You smiled softly and squeezed his hand. "You've been hurt, Noah. And it takes time to heal from that. I'm not here to hurry you or push you into something that you're not ready for. I am here because I care about you. And I care about Luna. I want you only to know that I'm in this for the long haul whenever you're ready."
He breathed shakily, his forehead leaning forward to rest against yours while his hand remained tightly wrapped around yours. You could feel the tension start to seep from him, replaced by a silent sort of relief that he didn't have to bear the burden of his fears alone anymore.
"Thank you." he whispered, his voice full of gratitude. "For understanding. For being⦠you."
You pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips, silently communicating that he had nothing to thank you for, that this was where you wished to be.
You saw Noah in all his completeness: a good father, a man who had been wounded but kept trying, learning how to trust once more. You were more than ready to wait for him to fully open up that part of his heart.
You sat in that silence, the weight of the past there still, yet lighter now. You knew Noah still had a really long way to go before letting go of all the pain he had been carrying with him, but you knew he was on his way. You would be here every step of the way, to build something real, something lasting, with him and with Luna.
Now, months after you and Noah had started dating, you were sitting in the middle of that guarded space he had created around her.
Now you knew why he was being so careful, why he had not pushed for more interaction between you and Luna.
She meant the world to him, and after all she had been through, he would never risk anything that could disrupt her life. But still, you waited. You had cared for Noah, and by that extension already cared for Luna, too. So you gave him the time he needed to let you in.
Today, though, there was something different in the air, something to let you know Noah was about to take a step forward.
"Hey," Noah finally said, breaking the comfortable silence that had overcome the room. He set his coffee cup down and rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous quirk you'd come to know well. "Can I ask you a favor?"
You raised an eyebrow. "Of course. What's up?"
He turned to Luna, still deep in her toys, and back to you again. He paused a beat, you basically saw the cogs turning as he picked his words with all care.
"The band's got a thing later today, just some planning stuff for the new album. I was supposed to go meet the guys, butβ¦" He trailed off, gesturing toward Luna with a helpless look. "Usually, I ask one of them, but they are all busy today."
You chuckled softly at that, imagining Luna in the hands of Noahβs bandmates. As much as they loved her, you knew they werenβt exactly all equipped for child care even if you were sure they all deeply cared about her.
"So⦠you want me to stay with her?"
Noah nodded, his expression softening as he met your gaze. "Yeah. If you're okay with it. I mean, I know it's last minute and I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, butβ"
"Noah," you interrupted softly, standing up and walking over to him. You reached out, resting your hand on his arm. "It's okay. I'd love to stay with her."
He exhaled, the relief washing over his features, but there was still that damned hesitation in his eyes. You knew how big of a deal this was for him, trusting someone with Luna, especially after everything he'd been through.
"Are you sure?" he asked more quietly now. "I mean, she's really shy, with most people and with you too, and I don't want any of you to feel uncomfortable."
You smiled, leaning up to press a kiss against his cheek. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine. She just needs time, that's all. And I think she got her shyness from her dad."
Noah closed his eyes for a second, his head slightly leaned into your touch before pressing a gentle kiss against your forehead. When he pulled back, his eyes were different, warm and a deep well of silent appreciation.
"Thank you," he whispered. "This⦠this means so much."
Now, you were sitting on the floor, after Noah had gone off to his band meeting. At first, Luna had been quiet, keeping to herself to play with her toys, but bit by bit, she'd started to warm up toward you, like you'd wanted.
You leaned forward for Mr. Flop, the stuffed bunny, and held him out to her with a playing grin. "You think Mr. Flop needs some tea?"
Luna's eyes sparkled, a shy smile overspreading her face as she nodded vigorously. "Yes! He is very thirsty."
You laughed softly, watching her scurry over to her tiny plastic tea set. She first poured an imaginary cup of tea for Mr. Flop and then one for you. As she handed you the pretend tea, your heart swelled with affection for this little girl who was letting you into her world slowly, piece by piece.
"Thanks, Luna," he said, making a big show of taking a sip. "This is the best tea I've ever had."
She giggled, her cheeks blushing with pride. For several moments, the two of you played in comfortable silence, with her showing you through the rules of the tea party.
"You think Mr. Flop would like to go on an adventure?" you asked after some time, breaking the silence as Luna finished pouring more imaginary tea.
With eyes aglow with excitement, she said, "Yes! He loves adventures!"
"Okay, where shall we go?" you asked, leaning in conspiratorially.
Luna tapped her chin, and then a huge grin spread over her face. "The jungle! I love jungle! Dad loves jungle too! We have to find the lost treasure!"
You gasped melodramatically. "The jungle? Wait. Noah made you listen...nevermind. That does sound dangerous! You think we can make it?"
She laughed again, her head bobbing up and down quickly. "We can do it! Mr. Flop is very brave."
And then you both launched into your make-believe jungle adventure. The shyness had left Luna by now, replaced by a bubbly, fearless energy that took your heart soaring.
The front door creaked open a couple of hours later when Noah returned home, but you didn't notice him first, too caught up in the game with Luna sitting next to you on the floor.
Noah stood in the doorway, watching the both of you, and his heart swelled in his chest. He had always known you were special, knew from the moment he met you that there was something different about you, but seeing you now, playing with Luna, made him feel something he hadn't felt in years.
Love, not just for you, but for the idea of you becoming a part of him and Luna's lives in a deeper way.
When you finally saw him standing there, you smiled. "Hey, you're back!" you said. Noah nodded, stepping closer, his eyes soft. "Yeah, I'm back."
Luna ran to him and wrapped her arms around his legs as he scooped her up, holding her close to his chest for a moment before turning back to you. "You two seemed to have fun."
Noah had Luna in his arms, babbly excitedly about some "jungle adventure" and lost treasure. He listened intently, though his eyes never left you. There was something there in his gaze, something so raw and deep, that made your heart go racing. It wasn't the usual softness, the usual affection, it was heavier, like something nestled between you when nothing was said.
"We did," you said, smiling at Luna as she continued her excited recount of the day. "We found the lost treasure, and Mr. Flop was the hero of the day."
Luna giggled, snuggling into Noah's chest as she added her own details. "We were very brave, Daddy! Mr. Flop was so good at being quiet, and we didn't get eaten!"
Noah chuckled, brushing a hand through her hair as he kissed her forehead. "Sounds like you had quite the adventure."
"Yes! We had a lot of fun. And your friend is amazing. I want to play with her again. I think she is my friend too now."
Noah smiled, his brown eyes full of affection for the both of you. "I'm glad you made a new friend. We'll ask her again, okay?"
Luna nodded, her eyelids drooping as the excitement of the day finally started to catch up with her and she rested her head against the soft fabric of his dad's hoodie. Noah glanced at you over her head, a soft smile tugging at his lips once again.
"Would you like to help me get her ready for bed?" he whispered, and with Luna nuzzling her head into the crook of his shoulder, half-asleep.
You nodded, and your heart fluttered with the thought. This felt like some sort of minor but meaningful step in being included in the nighttime routine, part of something as personal and intimate as this.
All three went into Luna's room together. It was not a big room, but it was cozy with soft toys, bookshelves, and a little carpet that glittered from strings of tiny fairy lights.
Noah was soon to gently lay Luna down into her bed, and you sat down beside him, watching as he tucked her in, his hands moving with the sort of practiced ease that came from more than two years of being a single parent. You leaned over, setting Mr. Flop down beside Luna, who smiled sleepily as she cuddled the bunny close.
Noah leaned over her, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead with tenderness that would ache your chest. "Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered into her hair. "I'll be right outside if you need me."
"Goodnight, daddy," she muttered the tone in her voice drowsy. Then her tiny eyes flickered open just enough to glance at you. "Goodnight Y/N."
You smiled warmly, your heart swelling in the simplest of words. "Goodnight, Luna."
After several minutes of quiet whispers and soothing reassurances, she fell asleep, her breathing evening into the quiet rhythm of her sleep. Noah leaned forward and pressed another soft kiss to her forehead before he eased himself up, motioning you to follow him from the room.
As the door is shut quietly behind you, he let out a very, very long breath, running his hand through his hair, leaning against the wall.
"Thanks," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. "For sticking with her. For being so⦠incredible with her."
You shrugged. "She's a pretty amazing kid. It wasn't hard."
Noah turned fully toward you now, his eyes searching yours with a sort of intensity that hitched your breath. His hand rose and delicately swept a strand of hair back behind your ear, where it lingered on the side of your face. His thumb tracing the line of your jaw sent you leaning into his touch, your heart beating with each passed second a little faster.
"I never knew whether I would find anybody that could fit in this part of my life," he whispered, his voice not a decibel over a whisper. "With Luna, after what happened⦠I felt I needed to keep her world small, you know? Keep it safe. I didn't want to bring someone in that might hurt her."
His eyes welled with that same vulnerability you had seen before, and you knew how hard this was for him, to open up, to let you into this part of his life he had guarded so much.
"You don't have to worry about that," you said softly, laying your hand over his. "I would never hurt her. Or you."
Noe's thumb stroked over your cheek, his eyes sealing to yours in an tight seriousness, as if you were the only person existing. "I know. That's why I love you."
The words hung between you and him, heavy with tension. You couldn't breathe for a second, heart pounding in your chest as you tried processing what he just said. He loved you.
You hadn't expected it, not so soon, not in that moment, but the way he looked at you, the way he had been with Luna, it made sense. It wasn't just the two of them anymore; it was all three, the small family that had formed.
A soft smile overspreads your face as you looked up at him, your hand clenching a little tighter around his. "I love you too, Noah."
The relief in his expression was genuine, and for him at least, it was as though the weight had finally been pulled off his shoulders. He pulled you into his arms, and you wrapped yours around him, holding close as he buried his face in your hair, breathing you in like he couldnβt believe you were real.
And for a long time, neither of them said anything. They only stood there with each other, wrapped in their own warmth, and the silence just told it all.
Then Noah leaned back, just a little, just enough to look down at you. And then his eyes were deeper and surer.
"I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't met you," he whispered huskily. "I don't think I even knew how much I needed someone like you, not just for me but for Luna, too."
You reached up and brushed a thumb over his cheek. "You're an amazing dad, Noah. You've done everything right for her. But you don't have to do it alone anymore."
He closed his eyes, like almost to let your words sink in. Opening them a second later, there was something soft, something vulnerable, that made you want to pull him closer still.
"I don't want to do it alone anymore," he whispered with his forehead against yours. "I want this. Us. You and me, and Luna. I want a family."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you nodded, your voice barely louder than a whisper. "Me too."
Noah's arms tugged closer, his lips finding yours in a gentle unhurried kiss that felt almost like a vow, like a start, the type of kiss that spoke of love, of trust, of a future that finally was starting to feel real.
He drew back and his eyes shone bright now with a happiness in them that hadn't been there before. He reached down, took your hand in his, and guided you back onto the couch. You sat together in the quiet glow of the livingroom.
You knew you would have one of those movie nights where you definitely fall asleep in his arms on the couch.
Noah for once in a long while felt something he hadn't dared to believe in, peace. Peace in knowing that he didn't have to protect himself and Luna anymore. Peace in knowing he was finally able to let you in, fully without any fear.
You sat there, his arm around you, knowing this was only the beginning of something beautiful: a life no more his or yours, but one which both of you had started building together.
hello friends in my phone! would you like more parts of this? (ｑββΏβｑ)
It was dark when you stirred, the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend still in deep shadow, and only a faint strip of moonlight slipped through the edge of the curtains. The whole house was quiet and the sheets were cool, tangled loosely around your legs.
You didnβt fully wake at first but you registered a movement beside you.
The mattress shifted slightly beneath you as he rolled away, and you immediately felt the absence: the soft, subconscious way your body leaned toward his warmth even in sleep, only to find cool air instead. You stayed still, half-dreaming, too tired to open your eyes, but your senses reached for him anyway.
A second later, his hand brushed lightly against your arm, fingertips grazing your skin with that gentleness he always reserved for moments like this. He pressed a kiss to your temple, slow and soft.
You wanted to say something, mumble a sleepy βgoodmorningβ (even if, was it actually morning? Everything was so dark) or maybe "Stay for a bit longer", even if you knew he couldn't, or just his name, but your mouth stayed still, too weighed down by sleep to move.
Still, you felt his presence hovering just a moment longer, like he didnβt want to leave either. Then he exhaled quietly and slipped away, the door clicking shut behind him a few seconds later, leaving you there, wrapped in the warmth he left behind.
You knew he was going to the studio again.
Lately, he'd been leaving earlier than usual, joining the others at some unholy hour while the world was still asleep, pushing himself to work longer days on the album.
Even though heβd been working a lot lately, he seemed happy. Not drained or overwhelmed, but focused on his project, motivated in a way that made it clear how much the album meant to him. You could see it in the way he talked about it, the excitement in his voice when he played you something new, his pride when he explained his vision. He was building something he loved, with people he trusted. And you were glad. Really glad.
Still, lying there alone in the darkness, you couldnβt help but already miss him. Just a little.
You knew it wouldnβt last forever, and that soon enough, things would slow down again, the bulk of the album would be finished, and heβd start spending more time at home with you.
Heβd warned you this stretch would be intense, and youβd understood, and you still did. But it had been a few weeks now, and you missed waking up next to him and talking lazily about nothing for half an hour before you went to work. You missed the small rituals youβd carved out together, putting on music while cooking, playing with Luna, going for a walk with Neki, seeing them at the coffee shop, the warmth of his hand finding yours just because.
You were proud of him, genuinely, and excited for everything he was creating. But still, you couldnβt help but think about how much you were looking forward to having your Noah back all to yourself.
You buried your face in the pillow and reached out for Noahβs, hugging it close to you. You always did that when he wasnβt there, you'd started noticing it in the mornings, the way you held it like Luna did with Mr. Flop.
You were just about to drift off again when you heard footsteps in the hallway. Small and slow. Then, another set, this time Noahβs.
He said something you couldnβt quite make out, and then you heard:
βWhere are you going, daddy?β
Her voice was soft and sounded so sleep, and that was terribly cute.
βYou know I have to go to work, baby,β Noah whispered, probably trying not to wake you. βBut itβs still really really early, you can sleep for many more hours.β
You were more awake now, slowly piecing together what was happening. You rubbed your eyes with one hand and turned over in bed.
There was a small silence, and then Lunaβs voice came again, more insistent this time, with that tone she used when she was trying to be brave, even though she felt sad or scared. Like when she went to the doctor for the first time.
βBut youβre never hereβ¦β she said quietly, βYouβre always leaving.β
You heard Noah let out a soft sigh, like he already knew how hard it was for her to understand.
βI know, Lu. I know it feels like that,β he said, βBut Iβm not leaving because I donβt want to be here."
There was a little shuffle, like maybe she nodded against him.
βIβm working a lot right now, it's something very important,β he continued. βBut I think about you all the time. And I miss you so much when Iβm not home.β
Another silence. You could almost picture him crouched in the hallway, holding her close, both with sleepy faces and messy hair.
βBut I want you here now,β she mumbled.
You pushed the blanket back and sat up slowly, you reached for the edge of the bed, your feet finding the cold floor as you stood and walked toward the door. When you opened it, the hallway light was dim but enough to catch them both standing just a few steps away. Luna was in her pajamas, clutching her stuffed bunny, eyes wide and glistening, bottom lip trembling just slightly.
Noah was barefoot beside her, one hand gently resting on her back. He was in nothing but a pair of old boxers covered in little white stars, that one pair he always wore on tour, and a faded oversized Naruto t-shirt. His hair was a mess, and his face looked tired but tender, and he had the kind of look he always had when Luna needed comfort. He glanced up at you with an almost guilty smile, like he hadnβt meant to wake you.
You looked at her, at the way she clung to Mr. Flop and leaned into her dad, clearly trying not to cry. That brave-sad face she made, it got you every time.
You crouched down in front of her, your voice barely above a whisper.
βOh, baby,β you said gently, brushing a stand of hair from her face. βDo you want to come sleep with me?β
She nodded without saying anything, stepping toward you instantly like sheβd been waiting for you to say those exact words. You scooped her up into your arms, her little body warm and soft, already relaxing against you, and straightened up. Noah stepped back just slightly to give you room, watching the two of you with eyes full of affection.
βSheβs all yours,β he said softly, his voice a little husky.
You met his eyes for a moment and smiled, and he leaned in to kiss Lunaβs forehead, then yours.
Noah lingered for another second, eyes fixed on the two of you wrapped up in each other, Luna clinging to you like sheβd just found her safest place. His expression softened even more, the corners of his mouth lifting in that quiet, lovesick way he sometimes smiled when he looked at you and Luna.
βYou two look so cute right now,β he whispered, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. βI almost canβt leave.β
You smiled, shifting Luna a little higher in your arms as she buried her face in your shoulder, one hand curled in the fabric of your shirt.
βThen donβt,β you murmured, just to tease.
He huffed a quiet laugh, stepping in one last time to press another kiss to Lunaβs hair, then one to your cheek.
βIβll make it up to you both,β he said softly. βTonight itβs just us. Dinner, movie, cartoons, whatever you want.β
You gave him a look that said weβre holding you to that, and he backed away with a small smile, like it physically hurt him to do it.
βI love you,β he said, eyes bouncing between you and Luna.
βLove you,β you replied.
βBye daddyβ Luna whispered, almost already sleeping.
βBye, squish."
He hesitated at the top of the stairs, taking in the moment like he was trying to burn it into his brain, and then finally, went into the bathroom to get read to leave.
You took Luna back to the bedroom and climbed into bed with her tucked tightly in your arms, her head resting against your arm.
She let out a tiny sigh, her breath warm against your skin, you brushed your fingers through her hair.
She was almost asleep when her tiny voice piped up again, muffled against your shirt.
βDo you think daddy has snacks at work?β
You smiled, your hand still gently stroking her hair. βI hope so. Otherwise heβll get cranky.β
She let out a sleepy giggle. βHe gets the cranky face,β she mumbled, scrunching her nose like she was trying to imitate him. βLike thisββ She looked up at you with narrowed eyes and a little pout, clearly very proud of her impression.
You laughed softly. βThatβs exactly it. That's grumpy Noah.β
She giggled again. βBut not with me,β she addedβHeβs never cranky with me.β
You nodded. βOf course not. Youβre his favorite person.β
She blinked up at you, pleased. βAnd youβre the second.β
βOh wow,β you said, pretending to be shocked. βSecond place? Great.β
She giggled again, βNooo, youβre the favorite too. But different.β
βDifferent how?β
βCuz you smell nice and he really really likes you and you let me use your lip stuff.β
You snorted. βWell, Iβm honored. Those are very important qualifications.β
It reminded you of just a few days earlier, when Luna had decided she wanted to βget readyβ with you before heading out. Sheβd climbed up onto the little stool by your dresser, βI want lips too, please,β she had said, pointing to your open makeup bag. βLike yours.β
So you let her pick through your lipsticks: the glossy ones, the creamy ones, the slightly-too-expensive ones you normally saved for nights out. She tried almost all of them, smearing color just slightly off-center, puckering her lips in the mirror after each one.
βThis oneβs too pink,β she had announced at one point, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
Youβd laughed and said, βMaybe because you're wearing it on your chin.β
Sheβd giggled and moved on to the next.
βAnd you donβt get cranky face.β She added now.
βHmm,β you hummed, βmaybe not cranky face, but I do get sleepy face.β
She reached up and poked your cheek with one tiny finger. βThis face?β
βYep,β you said, grinning. βThat one.β
She smiled at you, eyes droopy now. βI like this face.β
βI like yours too.β
She snuggled in closer, her voice barely above a whisper now. βCan we have pancakes when the sun comes up?β
You laughed under your breath. βSure, baby. Pancakes when the sun comes up.β
βWif blueberries?β
βAll the blueberries you want.β
She let out a happy hum and went quiet, and within minutes, her breathing evened out.
