#tbdlp

[entrenous88]

me: I'm going to get SO MUCH DONE TONIGHT

also me: *drinks two glasses of wine*

me: okay. time bed. *takes off clothes in hallway*

[entrenous88]

[entrenous88]

I’m unhappy and disconnected and I know it has a ton to do with the broken wrist. 

handwriting isn’t allowing me to lose myself in my writing as i’m used to doing and that in all honesty is a big blow, impacting everything else.  I’m can’t safely drive yet so I feel stuck and trapped, and I can’t get rides to the gym as often as /i would like so i’m tense from less exercise.  though I can hang out with people irl, i’m used to having lots of interactions online that I’m cut off from because I can’t type easily or quickly with one hand so chatting & emailing aren’t really an outlet.  there is also a discouraging family health situation that I can’t help but feel i’d be way better equipped for without all the hindrances and discouragements of this situation

tl;dr everything sucks rn.  I fully get that the scope of what I can do and have access to will improve when my wrist heals but for now it freaking bites

[entrenous88]

Hey, people who leave "YOU HAVE TO UPDATE NOW“ comments on fics -- does that ever actually get you what you want?  

[entrenous88]

Ugh, so the back of my leg hurt like hell yesterday -- it’s a bit better today in that area, but now my whole leg is twinging/aching.  I’m icing/advil-ing cautiously, and it’ll probably resolve with rest and tuning down the intensity of any activity for a bit, but it’s grating to feel like I want to work out like normal and have to do a super low-key slow walk instead. 

ALSO, our internet connection has been absolutely craptacular for a few days, and it sounds like we need a new modem, which is now on its way to us.  BUt I lost connection about eight times yesterday morning while trying to work and GOD DAMN IT KENNY it better not happen that much today. 

[entrenous88]

haha, you can see HOW MUCH COFFEE I NEED by the fact that I posted something else before my actual coffee post. 

[entrenous88]

So that’s a lot of 74 word fanfics

[entrenous88]

Earlier this week my cousin died unexpectedly of an overdose.  It’s been heartbreaking and terrible trying to get from day to day since then.  There are so many things I wish I could have changed for her, burdens that she had to bear that I feel like I should have been able to lighten more.  What’s  horrible isn’t so much the regrets of the past but the shock of this stasis now - nothing can ever change for her again.  There’s nothing else we can do.