My inspirational headteacher soon became intimidating. It ripped my life apart – but I know I’m not the only teacher who has suffered
I stared at the screen, feeling physically sick, as I read the long list of signs of bullying on a teaching union website. Excessive fear, loss of self worth, a reluctance to go to school, physical ill health including weight loss, disrupted sleep, headaches, depression, panic attacks. Suddenly it all made sense. The realisation left me reeling.
As a primary school teacher, I had put my poor mental health down to overwork. I was a busy mum and a successful teacher with a responsible, conscientious nature. When I reached a point where I could no longer keep going, I was signed off for six weeks by the doctor. For most of that time I sat lifeless on the settee and dozed. Slowly, I managed to resurface and return to the job I loved. Then it happened again, and again.
The doctor struggled to put his finger on what the problem was. I was variously diagnosed with depression, fatigue, anxiety and stress. He gently advised me to try a new career, and I resigned myself to the fact that I was clearly unable to deal with the demands of the teaching profession. But then I realised that what I had faced throughout my career was bullying – and that it had had an incredible physical impact on me for more than a decade.
