Dec 19, 2022
Alucard: I live for two reasons and two reasons only!
Anderson: And what are these reasons?
Alucard: I've been born and I haven't died yet.
seen from United States
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Alucard: I live for two reasons and two reasons only!
Anderson: And what are these reasons?
Alucard: I've been born and I haven't died yet.
Pro Se Day
Insurance Defense Interrogatory: State the name of your President, Safety Director, Federal Safety Regulation Officer, and the Dispatcher at the time of the Incident.
Response: Defendant states that the President of the United States is Donald J. Trump. Defendant further states that he is an individual, and accordingly he has no information responsive to the remainder of Plaintiff’s request.
Derek *grumbling about contacting someone too far away*: GRRR! I just need a some sort of radio.
Abby: A radio?
Derek: That’s what I said.
Abby: Ohhhh. Ha! You mean you want a phone? HAHA!
Derek: Do you have one or not?
Bea: Uh ... why don’t you just use this one? *grabs the landline phone off a nearby desk*
Derek: Because it’s not mine, and you said someone would get all whiny if I stole something again. *snatches it*
Abby: HAheh, hey. Hey Derek. What do you call this?
Derek: A radio.
Bea: Huh?
Abby: HAHA! Okay. What’s this?
Derek *with ultimate surety*: A radio.
Bea: Derek, that’s -
Abby: Wait, wait wait - Bea. Derek. These?
Derek *frustrated*: A radio.
Abby: THIS?
Derek: Radio.
Abby: THIS?!?!
Derek: THAT’S A COMPUTER!!!!
Bea and Abby laughing in hysteria.
Bea: Oh man Derek. You’re killing me!
Derek: I am not! That would violate our truce agreement!
Santa only visits homes on December 24th. That's in December, you nitwit!
Miles Edgeworth
hanma attends his daughter's 'introducing my dad day' at preschool and stands out from those drab dad fits all decked out in his pinstripe suit and leather gloves to hide his tattoos; looking so huge perched on the plastic chair and when it's his turn to answer what he does for a living he just shrugs and says "insurance"
My brother apparently thought I never finished my degree at The University of Chicago.
I told him I finished in 2021 with a BA in English Literature.
He responded: Oh, so you finished on easy mode
Technically he's not wrong
“watch her like dragons’ gold”
*falls asleep*