i word vomited genderfluid!teddy/james at uswolves on LJ and i figured i’d put it all together here because who doesn’t like genderfluid!teddy and who doesn’t like teddy/james come on
teddy is sometimes a girl and james refers to her as 'my girlie friend' and 'my sweetie' and sometimes teddy doesn't feel like being anything but a blob and james is all SIGH THAT'S *MY* SWEATER but cuddles them anyway and kisses their nose and fetches them tea
when he's a guy james refuses to give him cute nicknames (but he'll always kiss his nose) and sometime he braids his hair because guy!teddy wears it long but girl!teddy wears it short (she's a big fan of pixie cuts for some weird reason, james has never sussed that out) and when they’re neither they change it up all the time, so when james come home to find teddy with green hair and undercut or maybe black hair in a bob or blond and buzzed short, he knows it's a they-day. because it's not a) long and blue or brown, and it's not b) short, cute and pink or blonde. teddy's kind of a disaster, but he's james' colourful disaster and regardless of what kind of day it is, teddy's clothes are always 30% something he stole from james
i am also one hundred per cent certain that teddy owns one of those copenhagen bikes and rides it everywhere. (think colourful, woven basket and a shitload of plastic flowers. the other day i saw a bright turquoise bike with a white basket and pink flowers, it was gorgeous.) james teases him for it because those are super girlie bikes, and they're muggle, and they're gaudy (but kinda pretty, he admits) and teddy's response is always to just change his hair to match the bike and stare at james until he shuts up. (AND THEN HE TAKES JAMES OUT ON THE BIKE, JAMES ATTEMPTING TO NOT FALL OFF THE BACK AND CLINGING TO TEDDY AND ONE TIME THEY TRIED TO DO IT SO HE SITS ON THE HANDLE BAR INSTEAD BUT HE DEFINITELY FELL OFF THAT TIME AND LONG STORY SHORT JAMES DOES NOT TRUST TEDDY ON THE BIKE. he's convinced the bike is sentient and has it out for him. teddy says james should be more polite to the bike in that case.) sometimes they have brooms vs bikes arguments and teddy always wins "because we live in futzin london, james, WE CAN'T FLY ON BROOMS IN FULL DAYLIGHT ARE YOU CRAZY" even if james always counters with "ARE YOU KIDDING ME THE TRAFFIC IS CRAZY THERE ARE NO BIKE PATHS HOW DO YOU NOT GET RUN OVER BY A CAR HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET WHAT THE FUCK TEDDY WHAT THE FUCK" and then teddy: *jazzhands* "magic!" and then they stop arguing and kiss instead
in the summer teddy’s a girl 92% of the time and wears cutoff jeans and oversized tops and ridiculous sunglasses and alternates between pastel pixie cuts (mostly pink, often blond, sometimes yellow), she’s got the cutest button nose james has ever seen (and he tells her roughly five times a day) and they go to brighton and to france and take lots of silly pictures and james has so much ice cream. so much. that he ends up sick at least twice, and teddy refuses to help him at all (”it’s your own fault, i told you to stop at the third cone but did you listen. NO. YOU DIDN’T.” “fuck you,” james says, lying face down on the floor, making sad noises. “james you are an adult man how does this happen every year HOW”)
the autumn is teddy’s favourite, because the autumn comes with SWEATERS and SCARVES (all the scarves are james’, he’s given up on getting any of them back at this point) and TWEED and BROGUES and it’s all brown and orange and moss green and their hair is a state of constant fluctuation and it’s brilliant. james stocks up on tea and takes them out to second hand shops to replace some of those sweaters that died last winter. come winter, the sweaters teddy’s wearing are no longer autumny, but are the flashiest weirdest shit he can find, most of it should go back to the 90s but teddy loves it and so james loves it too. teddy grows a beard and keeps it the whole winter, except when he doesnt, and james both hates and loves that beard, because it makes teddy look like a moron but he also likes how it scratches against his skin.
the thing is, people think teddy is the hipster, the weird person with seasonal dress codes (and seasonal genders, what the fuck), who even does that apart from, like, fucking royalty (genders notwithstanding), is what they say, but the truth is that eleven out of fifteen garments that teddy owns actually belong to james
EXCEPT
for the garish 90s sweaters, those are all teddy's and james won't go near them (except for that one time he thought they'd look cute if they had the same sweater on, that backfired MASSIVELY. lily didn't let him live it down at all and strangers thought they were an odd sort of mismatched twins. NEVER AGAIN. james matches their clothing in much, much subtler ways now (lily notices. of course she notices. screw little sisters and their observant ways).)
sometimes james just wants some hipster credit, dammit. sort of. he lives by the philosophy that if you say you're a hipster you automatically cease to be one, so he will never ever in life admit to it, but he's the one who buys vinyl records and collects cacti in little colourful pots and vintage cameras to put on display and wants their kitchen to look "rustic" and "vaguely swedish", so he gets his hands on an entire set of madam blå at one point that teddy loves to hate (really he thinks it's charming, like he thinks james' filthy grins are the most charming thing in the world ("i'm not being filthy on purpose i was born this way stop laughing at me THIS IS WHAT MY FACE LOOKS LIKE" and teddy just copies it until they're both crying laughing))
the truth is that james regularly goes through bad boy phases and digs out all his old leather jackets (second hand shop finds, for the most part) and gels his hair back and one time he almost takes up smoking, except he finds out that he hates smoking "wow, why would anyone voluntarily suck smoke into their lungs when it tastes this bad, this is the grossest thing ever" and teddy laughs at him and gives him a mint and tells him that he's bad boy enough without the cigarettes, and james huffs a little and buys white tshirts with black print on them and one time he even got a little side cut. he was so proud of that side cut. he was touching it all the time, and checking himself out in every single reflective surface he came across, and he looked incredibly smug about it (so teddy informed him) which always started another "IT'S MY GODDAMN FACE" argument. he inevitably goes back to his comfy sweaters and scarves and skinny jeans every time. next time he'll pierce his eyebrow, he says. "you said that last time," teddy tells him. "and the time before that, and the time before that. I dare you to do actually do it." james glares at him. "i'll do it. you just wait." he chickens out. every. single. time.
