#temulencegenetrix

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Prezidankal Coup

[[The doors stand close, looming and kinda greasy for when dem boys am arrive]]

DAVENFORTH: -HOL UP. We dem boyz.-

ROXANNE: -That us.-

DEREK: -looks the door over. huh.- We just bustin in?

ROXANNE: Looks weak enough like we could if we gotta'.

DAVENFORTH: Im takin my house back -He gonna kick it open-

DEREK: -SUCK MY DRAGON BALLZ BITCH CALL ME GOKU-

[[the door is so greasy and so easy to open that if Davenforth isn't carefull that kicking could make him fall into a full split]]

[[Upon entering the newly decked out captial of pimposity they will be faced with an intricate maze of mirrors. Oooooh aaaaah.... how annoying]]

ROXANNE: -Makes a face.- This shit is dizzying.

ROXANNE: Also ya'know always thought i wanted to visit the white house until now.

DAVENFORTH: -Takes off his mask and ventures in-

DAVENFORTH: I mean honestly fuck the white house but yeah it aint deserve all this

ROXANNE: -Walking in.- So weapons out now, or nah?

DEREK: -THE SWORD ALREADY OUT- ...

DAVENFORTH: -He brought rebellion for this one-

[[To be honest it's all kind of bullshit. And to make it bullshittier almost immediately there's already there’s some lanky cackling human slipping between the walls with TWO SWORDS. He flips them all around like crazy while laughing maniacally. This is the host. Where are your tickets?]]

ROXANNE: -Thats all the okay she needs, say hello to her semi-automatic, and a belt of reloads.-

ROXANNE: Mmm.

DEREK: -pretty hot roxanne. ngl.-

DEREK: ... Bro you need to chill.

ROXANNE: -Thanks, she tries.-

DAVENFORTH: Real talk

DAVENFORTH: How much you wanna bet ro pegs this motherfucker one shot

2SWRD: =Tazmanian devil noises, this is his real talk. He stammers and points a sword at them... they're tapped to his hands=

DAVENFORTH: Seriously

ROXANNE: Better at long distance but I got somethin' for this, one sec. -Shoulders the riffle and decaptcha's the hand gun she got from Eridan. Shes been practicing with this one too.-

DAVENFORTH: Kinda hot roro

ROXANNE: -There is very little time before getting it and then she is firing two shots at sword guy.-

2SWRD: =CLANG CLANG, looks like he knows how to use those swords... look out he's pointy and a banoodle and oh yeah he's in a thong with full body paint. Fellas, lady. Your welcome. SWINGS SORDS=

ROXANNE: -Gdi.-

ROXANNE: -So many levels of uncomfortable with this guy.-

DAVENFORTH: This voldo ass motherfuck well looks like its my turn -Raises his shades for a split second and winks at Rox before charging at this bitch and stabbing at him-

ROXANNE: -Shoots him a brief smile for that, but she is still internally so many levels of "Fuuuck this."- Fuck 'em up.

DAVENFORTH: Just gonna warm em up roro this is a team effort after all dont you tag team

2SWRD: !??!!?!?! =MORE TAZ NOISES, Crosses swords with Davenforth and raspberries nasty spittle into his face while gibberish speaking=

DAVENFORTH: -GROSS MY GUY. Tries to push him back.-

2SWRD: =He is a lanky thing so he gets shoved back pretty easy. Stops. Turns. Runs arms flailing into the white house. Making siren noises=

DAVENFORTH: Uh

ROXANNE: -Can she shoot him now?? Shes gonna try, POW.-

DEREK: Bitch. Wheres he think hes goin?

[[You can see his many reflections on the mirrors, if he doesn't get too far at least]]

DEREK: ... -starts breaking mirrors near him with the hilt of his sword-

DAVENFORTH: -Same tho-

[[The bullet crashes through the mirrors and now with other mirrors being broken the sirens stop]]

DAVENFORTH: I meant three shots

ROXANNE: Damn.

ROXANNE: Well thanks for the confidence anyways.

DAVENFORTH: You got the next one babygirl

ROXANNE: -Steps further in and smashes one of the mirrors with her boot clad foot. Feels good destroying government property.-

DEREK: Fuck yeah.

DEREK: -advances, smashing up mirrors as he goes-

[[They clear out the mirrors to a certain point but the deeper into the maze the mirrors seem to go liquidy then completely clear and watery. A troll woman strides out of the shimmery surface and steps down onto the floor. Her gown and hair are flowing in a way that's so effortless but probably has some effort to it and she just stares at these three bozos.]]

ANGSTGTH: =Sigh=

ROXANNE: -Um.-

DEREK: Oh shit its Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way.

DAVENFORTH: Fucking preps

ROXANNE: -SNRK.- Wow.

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= yOUr outDAted meMes aRe so.....

ANGSTGTH: =gurgles= grOdy

ANGSTGTH: guEss yOu goTta, lIKe... dIe. or whaTEver =SIGHHHHH=

ROXANNE: Us grody? Ya' seen the whole capital lately?

ANGSTGTH: uGh yEs

ANGSTGTH: eVRy dAy

DAVENFORTH: -Captchas Rebellion and pulls out his sword that matches his brothers.-

ANGSTGTH: =UGHH=

DAVENFORTH: Whats the chances of you fuckin off and lettin us through you dont have to expend effort or die and i keep my suit clean fair trade

ANGSTGTH: =Tsks=

ANGSTGTH: uGh wELl i mEAn

ANGSTGTH: i prETty mUCh gEt... nOt suCky benEFits???

ANGSTGTH: so.... yEAh...

ANGSTGTH: anYWay.....

ANGSTGTH: =holds her crystal ball and it glows hotly before shooting WHITE HOT or... red hot or blue hot.... rainbow beams of light at them. Fires her laser=

DAVENFORTH: -Jet noise as he flips out the way-

ROXANNE: -Thats really cool, but also really deadly. She's gonna duck.-

DEREK: -oh shit, he zips out of the way too. damn magical goths.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGHHHSS= jUSt.... no..... =Just die, she wants to get back to brooding=

DAVENFORTH: -Flashsteps towards her but flips over her at the last minute, aiming a kick at her back-

ANGSTGTH: =DOOF, goes ragdolling into one of the mirrors= uuuuugGHhhhhhh

[[She disappears into the liquid silver, bloop]]

ROXANNE: Nice shot. But also what the fuck? -How she do that.-

ANGSTGTH: =The same way she emerges from another one, shooting bright yellow heat beams at Davenforth= rUDe uGh i lIKE

ANGSTGTH: waSHed tHIS, iT's a pAIn to lauNder hERe =gurgles=

DEREK: Oh damn.

DAVENFORTH: -Backflipping for his GODDAMN LIFE-

ROXANNE: -Its rude to shoot beams at people. Although now that there is distance between her and Davenforth, Roxanne is shooting to disarm her of the use of her arms, how do you like bullets heading for your shoulder.-

ANGSTGTH: =They suck like.... big time=

ANGSTGTH: =Her shoulder jerks and she winces, clenching teeth atthe bullet in the shoulder= my tOp UUGGGGGHHHHH, i cAN't croTChet lIKE tHIS

ANGSTGTH: gOd

ANGSTGTH: =lifts her uninjured arm charges up the crystal ball here comes a rainbow fire party everywhere but directly under it=

ROXANNE: -WELP.-

DAVENFORTH: Sorry ro -Flips and FLINGS Roxanne towards the girl. He's gonna....try and dodge this fuckery with flashsteps????-

ROXANNE: -DUDE.-

ANGSTGTH: =WHY? HER PERSONAL SPACE?? Doof! That startles her enough that the crystal ball goes wobbling out of her hands= oh my gOOOOOOOOOOOOOd! =Today is just... #TheWorst=

ROXANNE: -But also sort of thanks. well if she is going to be anywhere in proximity shes going clubbing with the butt of her hand gun.-

ROXANNE: -NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BAD DAY LADY.-

ANGSTGTH: =AND she's hit in the face? RUDE.=

ROXANNE: -B)-

DEREK: -oh shit, slides to snatch up the crystal ball as it rolls away, after he TOO flash steps around the fuckery. assuming it doesn't just break...-

[[The ball doesn't break, it's just hecka warm. Meanwhile her mirrors are still liquidy and glowing and she's laying on the ground. Today. BLOWS.]]

ROXANNE: -Gently kicks her with her foot.- 'Kay that went alright.

DEREK: Ooo fuck hot potato. -bounces it between his hands a couple times before he sticks it into his sylladex.-

DAVENFORTH: -Skids to a halt, panting a little.- Alright lets go

ROXANNE: -Causally reloads.-

ANGSTGTH: uGh yOUr shOes aRe diRty sTOp >:(

ANGSTGTH: nooooooooooo UGGGHHHHHHH

ANGSTGTH: =Sighs and lays here, reciting poetry about her shitty day=

ROXANNE: What about goth girl here. -Doof punt pow. Keeps sticking her foot on her.-

ANGSTGTH: MMNNGNGNGNNG

DAVENFORTH: -Walks over and poises his blade over her face.- Occupational hazard

ROXANNE: -She backs up, hands up, giving Davenforth the space.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= i mean =shrugs on arm= yEAh

DAVENFORTH: -Doesn't think about it, just stabs down. Then he lifts it back up, walking forward like nothing happened.-

[[DED]]

ROXANNE: -Gonna try not to commit that image to memory. Store it away for later, Roxanne.- .............

ROXANNE: -Cool shes good lets roll.-

DEREK: -whoops, he doesn't seem all that phased by this. it's almost like they've done this shit before.-

DAVENFORTH: Fuckin annoying holy shit -He keeps pressing forward-

ROXANNE: Mhm. How many of this side show freaks ya' think we gonna' run into?

DAVENFORTH: As many as we gotta put in a casket i guess

[[Here they are.... The end of the maze and an arch to even celebrate that. How simple..... TOO SIMPLE. Or it’s just simple.One thing’s for sure it’s dusty as hell over there. Do they not sweep here? Probably not.]]

DAVENFORTH: All this shit and still no housekeeping unbelievable i bet barack is turning in his grave

ROXANNE: Where are the standards.

[[There are none]]

ROXANNE: -Terrible. Where is the nation's pride.-

[[There is none]]

DAVENFORTH: -It never had it-

DEREK: -shimmies thru the arch... expecting confetti... or some kind of indiana jones style booby trap.-

DAVENFORTH: -Walks through-

ROXANNE: -Shes going through last.-

[[It’s never that easy, let’s be honest here. As soon as they get closer the arch starts to waiver and then SPLATS onto the ground making a mess of water onto the dust that was on the floor. They will get wet.]]

ROXANNE: -W hy.-

[[Party]]

DAVENFORTH: ! -Jumps away-

ROXANNE: Eugh. This hole place makes me feel like im on drugs.

DAVENFORTH: You think this is what bein on drugs is like

DAVENFORTH: Kinda close

ROXANNE: 'Dunno never did any.

[[ The dust absorbs the water and builds up. It bubbles ominously and from the muddy slime googly-eyed skitter critters start to emerge. Damn. Those are some big seamonkeys.]]

DEREK: Well I know what were doin when we get outta here.

DAVENFORTH: Okay nevermind definitely like what being on drugs is like

DEREK: …

DEREK: Huh.

ROXANNE: Im too old for-- .........jeez.

[[They look slimy and crawl over each other, skitter critters. Like giant beetle/crossed silverfish]]

DAVENFORTH: What the fuck actually

[[Clickity clackity bug noises as they climb all over the walls and on the floor. If y'all thought roach problems were bad here comes the monkeys]]

ROXANNE: This is hell. -Okay switching to the big gun for this, strapping the hand gun on her belt and taking the safety off her rifle.-

DAVENFORTH: Im pretty sure youre right about that -Eyeing these creatures and their surroundings. -

ROXANNE: -Shes gonna test popping one right between its many eyes. Please let it be that simple.-

[[Thery're here to crawl right up your leg Davenforth. Also Roxanne does shoot and kill it. It gurgle clicks into a mound of slime and releases a cloud of noxious gas that'll make any sniffers dizzy. The slime is thick and slippery. They're not even attacking. They just exist and crawl around]]

DAVENFORTH: -EUGH. He kicks them off and starts backtracking away, until he gets a whiff. Trips and stumbles behind Roxanne.-

ROXANNE: -Finally she kills in one hit. Thank god. Except there is no god, not here.-

ROXANNE: About damn ti--nngnh. -Woah head rush. Shes quickly covering her mouth and nose.-

[[The more these critters crawl the slimier the floors and walls get, the slime faintly has that smell effect but as it builds up the scent gets stronger.]]

DEREK: -covers his mouth quickly before he catches too big of a WHIFF but mmmmmnnggg. this is getting hairy as the fumes spread... he grabs his wobbly brother with his free hand, and while he still has coordination, shoves him across the slime down the end of the hall. IT'S LIKE A WATER SLIDE, DAVE. HAVE FUN.-

DAVENFORTH: What the fu--- -Goes sliding past all these slimy heckers.-

[[WHEEEEE, he's too fast for the bugs, they're not even worried about him. They're just being adorable sea monkeys]]

ROXANNE: -They would be cute if they didnt stink.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and shakes his head. Pulling himself up. Looks back at Derek and Roxanne.- What the shit are you doing asshole

DEREK: -JUST OK HANDS AT HIM. you got this. meanwhile, he's starting to cough too.-

DAVENFORTH: DEREK

[[Fumes: Are noxious]]

ROXANNE: -She got to put the safety on her gone shes too dizzy for this shit. Also fuck standing, Derek mind if she leans on you a bit.-

ROXANNE: Fuckin'..

ROXANNE: Gotta' get over there.

DEREK: -wheeze. hooks an arm around roxanne's waist to support her and waves the other arm at dave.- BITCH MOVE.

DAVENFORTH: You shittin me right now youre in the middle of a fucking stank cloud

KURLOZ: =Walks up behind Derek and Roxanne. Looking Davenforth in the eyes=

KURLOZ: 👍

ROXANNE: -Wow because thats not creepy.-

DAVENFORTH: -Has he seen this clown before?-

KURLOZ: =At the college, he organized them arriving there. Your welcome=

DAVENFORTH: -You bitch-

KURLOZ: =Taps Derek on the shoulder, and will support his weight if need be. Move your meat sack before you pass out and he isn't hoisting anyone tbh=

DAVENFORTH: You die im kicking your fucking ass twice over -Ugh. he keeps running. Guess the Oval office is soon.-

ROXANNE: -Clown bro how are you not suffering from the gas.-

KURLOZ: =He doesn't breathe, easy= :o)

KURLOZ: =Nods and is gonna guide them on outta there to fresh air=

ROXANNE: -Also wraps an arm around Derek, they will stay up together dammit. What do we say to death, not today.-

ROXANNE: -Also nudges him to move his ass.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nyooming down the hallway.-

[[The Oval Office is trashed with graffiti, the presidential seal on the floor updated with the ICP logo. There are discarded Faygo bottles everywhere. There’s also just magical STARDUST piled up on the desk and on the floor. There’s also this BITCHIN spiral staircase to the roof]]

DAVENFORTH: -Stops to take a selfie.-

DEREK: -HE'S NUDGED.- Aight Im movin Im moooovin. -MOVES. WOBBILY. but he glances back at where his brother was. he didn't want him to do this alone... he don't trust that motherfucker to NOT do something stupid.-

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on up that staircase-

ROXANNE: -Stop talking and breathing you DINGUS. Shes still dizzy as fuck but shes doing her best to guide them after the clown. Also yeah she is also really worried about Davenforth...-

ROXANNE: -For once please dont be an arrogant bastard, friend.-

DAVENFORTH: -Literally no guarantees-

ROXANNE: -Dont.-

DAVENFORTH: -8)-

[[The higher he ascends the stairs the more obviously he can hear the sound of beat boxing and fresh, muffled lyrics. The smell of Faygo is stale and sickeningly sweet. Gritty special stardust leaves a trail and once he gets up there... there they are. Jamming away]]

SHAGGY: =Check his baggy jorts, check his high white socks, check his Polo slippers and probably blank white eyes maybe. Or is that the stardust in the air Homeboiiii =

VIOLENT J: -everything was blue... his jorts, his jants, his japris...-

VIOLENT J: -but there is definitely something extra unsettling about this pair as they slam back this wicked elixer. the larger of the two wipes away the sugar liquid dribbling down his chin with an ashen pale arm, trashy tats glowing with some weird energy. discarding the half consumed bottle, he turns to davenforth with blank eyes framed by pitch black makeup.-

VIOLENT J: WELL SHIT LOOK WHO'S PUNK ASS DECIDED TO SHOW UP?? THIS RICH BITCH.

SHAGGY: UH OH FUCKO JAY. THE MAD MEDIA SHIT TALKIN, STALKIN BITCHASS DUDE GOT BALLS. SHAGGY: FOR NOW, BUT NOT LONG.

DAVENFORTH: -Rests his blade on his shoulder.- Wow just wow im impressed honestly

DAVENFORTH: Tell me guys

DAVENFORTH: Howd yall manage to look even less threatening in real life thats a real talent honestly

VIOLENT J: -belly laughs with an unsettling, undernatural kind of growl underlying it.- HOMIE AIN'T AS CLEVER IN PERSON. YOU THINK HIS SPOILED ASS HAVE SOME BITCH WRITING HIS TWEETS FOR HIM OR SOMETHING???

SHAGGY: YO, WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT HE IS THE BITCH! =Laughs, it's gurgling and layered while taking one last swig of his elixer=

DAVENFORTH: Spoiled aww come on we all cant live in the lap of luxury getting raised by wild dogs in the midwest -He's eying them, studying them and this fucking...what the fuck is this glowy bullshit anyway.-

DAVENFORTH: Losin your virginity to an ear of corn man that must have been wild times

SHAGGY: DON'T STALL YO. CAME UP HERE WITH A PAIR THEN YOU TREMBLED EM DOWN YOUR PANTS SUIT, FUCK! SHAGGY: TIME'S IS WILDIN OUT, COME GET YOUR WHOOPINS MONEYBAGS.

DAVENFORTH: -He smirks- Youre gonna feel this pair on your forehead before this is said and done with

DAVENFORTH: Be useful and hold this for me -He chucks his sword at Shaggy and flashsteps out of view, appearing behind Violent J, removing his suit jacket and trying to throw it over his head.-

SHAGGY: =Thats a sword incoming hot, spins his arm up and suddenly long, dark and shiny ropes are in his palm. He spins them and jams his ass on out the way. Whipping the ropes on over for them ankles my man. He gon latch=

DAVENFORTH: -Oh what the fuck. That sure is a rope latching around his ankle. He's got barely enough time to draw his pistols from his strife specibi. Tries to get off a shot or two before whatever is about to happen.-

SHAGGY: =If Davenforth looks down, he'll see the rope is Shaggy's greasy, lopped off dreads. Longer.... stronger, gettin their friction onger=

VIOLENT J: -damn, man. this is the nicest thing he's ever worn on his body. it's easy enough to dispose of, turning to throw this jacket back around dave's neck. the combob of jacket and dreads is intended to push and pull him down to the ground.-

DAVENFORTH: -Oh fuck! He lets out a strangled noise. Yeah okay, breath is suddenly hard to come by, he misses that commodity. Alright new target. He aims his pistols at Violent J's face, letting out a flurry of bullets.-

VIOLENT J: -TAKES A WHOLE BUNCH OF LEAD TO THE FACE... which, realistically, should kill a bitch dead. but instead he just... staggers, touching at bullet peppered face paint .- DAMN! FUCKOOOFFFF!

DAVENFORTH: -Tries to slip his own jacket from around his neck-

SHAGGY: =It's okay man bro he got you= YO, YOUR PAINT JAY. HOLD UP! =Snags ropes again and is going to flail and body slam Davenforth on the WhiteHouse Helepad. TARGET CENTRAL YO=

VIOLENT J: OHHHHH SPLASHED! -says while face... oozes...-

DAVENFORTH: -Pain shoots through his body and he lets out a pained noise. What the FUCK man? He's trying to shoot at Shaggy now, to get his legs free.-

SHAGGY: =NOT HIS JORTS, he takes many bullets. One to the knee and stumbles. Davenforth can feel the greasy dreadlocks writhe and squirm in pain as he does so. But they loosen=

DAVENFORTH: -He pulls his feet free, tumbling back and taking the time to reload. Eyes his sword. Starts flash stepping around and peppering them with bullets to confuse them.-

VIOLENT J: -wobbles around rather comically. WhOoOOOOoOOA!!! the bullets are disorienting and he's taking a few hits, but it doesn't seem to be doing much to him... he just keeps oooozing from the wounds.- THIS BITCH IS SLIPPERY!

SHAGGY: =He's not really looking any better, a frustrated wet sound bubbling up in side him as he leaks.= THEN LET'S GET SLIPERRYIER! =Whips the dreads again then slams them on the ground and they branch out wildly in different directions. Where's your feetsies Dave=

DAVENFORTH: -NAH FAM. Stows his pistols and whips past his sword, hupping it up and slashing wildly at dread vines. Don't you fuckers play videogames?-

VIOLENT J: -ONLY BACKYARD WRESTLING 2: THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD-

DAVENFORTH: -GOD DAMMIT-

SHAGGY: =Speaking of the dreads leave grease all on that sword but also here comes this lanky motherfucker, he's coughing up vicous fluids but not befor he tries for a good grip On Davenforth, are y'all ready for this?=

DAVENFORTH: -Are ya ready kids? He EXPLODES forward, propelling this grease ass sword at Shaggy again and trying to slide under this gross bile. He knew y'all bitches was sticky, but greasy too? HELL NAW-

SHAGGY: =SHUNK, he gets stuck with the sword and laughs giddily spilling all kinds of sloppy fluids while this sord protrudes from his lanky frame=

VIOLENT J: -time to tag team this shit again. he's RUNNIN' IN to grab dave from behind. they're all slippery now... but if he can get a grip, he's taking him to suplex city.-

SHAGGY: =Its a sammich=

DAVENFORTH: -Tfw you thought you were sliding home free but some fat clown motherfucker decides nah you out. There's a slight crunch as Davenforth is suplexed. he lets out a groan as the world spins for a bit, but it's not too long before he's trying to recover, get to his feet so he can plan his next attack.-

SHAGGY: =Will he get that plan though? Here comes a chest slap, look alive vulnerable human. That AND he's rockin a sword better than you could. DAMN=

DAVENFORTH: -DOOF! Grabs the hilt and drives it DEEPER, then tries to force it upward, all the while they're slipping across the roof.-

SHAGGY: =HRK! SPLORTS more nasty fluids on Davenforth as they slip, the sword is inching upward that's for sure and he's gonna try to drive them right to the edge= CAN YOU SURVIVE THE BIGGEST BASS DROP IN HISTORY PLAYBOY? =His voice even more distorted and offkey with itself=

DAVENFORTH: -Smirks at him- Fuckin drop it -Jumps and flips over him, yanking the sword out, and as he's twirling overhead opens his legs and rubs his nuts ALL ON HIS FOREHEAD. When he lands he slices at his neck. Give him the top first.-

SHAGGY: =There goes the sword and also his neck he done gets sliced=

DAVENFORTH: -Catches that head in his sylladex casually-

VIOLENT J: -OH FUCK!!! ok, he's not laughing anymore. his face twists with paint and ooze and rage, running at dave with beefy arms ready to clothesline.-

DAVENFORTH: -That's a lot of big coming at him all at once.- Oh shit big babys mad DAVENFORTH: -Tries to duck and slice at that leg-

VIOLENT J: -well if he's gonna try THAT then he's just gonna jump to tackle him instead.-

DAVENFORTH: -My guy. MY DUDE. BOOMF! Davenforth groans as he's just crushed by this meaty oozey mother fuck. He's pretty sure he heard something crack. Not sure on who but it happened....-

VIOLENT J: -he's about to hear something ELSE crack. time for a good old fashioned beat down, fists 2 face.-

DAVENFORTH: -OOF OOF OOF OOF. His face is just eating these blows like sunday brunch and his glasses crack. He's not bein a bitch tho, trying to throw his own blows back.-

ROXANNE: -Fresh air had done wonders for her head, it was killing her but at least she could see straight. See straight enough to drag herself to another roof top anyways. She meant it when she said she was going to cover these boy's asses, Davenforth doesnt get off the hook just because of noxious fumes.-

ROXANNE: -Shes had enough time to set herself up, finger steady on the trigger, eye piercing through the scope. As much as it sucked to see Dave getting his face beat on, this was a great line up for a shot. Eat rounds, clown.-

ROXANNE: -Pulls the trigger and shoots a bullet for right between Violent J's eyes. Rest in rip.-

VIOLENT J: -that ninjette got him square in the noggin, and despite all the blows he's taken to the face, this one has his thrown back, off of dave and left a twitching mess. not quite dead -- but not quite

functioning

either. it's like he's trying to get back to his feet but can't quite make it without flailing. WHAT EVEN IS HE? MAN, MACHINE, SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?? one thing is for certain, he's about to be DECEASED.-

ROXANNE: -Hes nasty thats what. She may also be quietly congratulating herself on shooting the juggalo president.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and sputters up some blood, dragging his ass up standing. Goddamn, he must have one hell of a guardian angel. Everything is blurry, not quite right...oh shit is that sunlight? Maybe that's why his noggin hurts so much...well that and the tenderizing it received. At some point his sword left his hand, he scrambles for it, trying to steady himself. The broken frames on his face are thrown aside, his left eye scarred by broken glass but whatever. Despite the searing pain he focuses. His sword passes through J's neck like a hot knife through butter, and that's another skull in the dex. Everything looks like a JJ Abrams movie but he can tell everything's on fire, with no means of escape. Wheezing a bit and choking up another bloody loogie he leans on his sword. He's kinda fucked ain't he?-

DEREK: -NOT QUITE. thanks to clown intel about the white house layout, and after fighting through a few more bullshit obstacles, a slightly battered brother emerges from the stairwell a few moments later, zipping over so dave can lean on him instead.-

DEREK: Hey... Looks like I made it just in time. Convenient. -notices the sunglasses have been fucked up, so he offers up his own to place on dave's face instead. that's why he has them in the first place, after all.-

DAVENFORTH: -Leans heavily on Derek, wheezing a little. Thanks for the shades though, maybe the pain in his head will subside a little.- You asshole -Coughs a little bit more, spitting blood to the side-

DAVENFORTH: I knew you didnt want these hands

DAVENFORTH: So whats your brilliant escape plan

DEREK: Well we got a getaway vehicle waitin... Considering we arent being discreet anymore... Why not fly to them? -we both have to have hoverboards, come on...-

DAVENFORTH: -Wheeze laughs at that, except it causes him to cough a little more blood.- DAVENFORTH: Think i punctured somethin but sure why the fuck not wheres everyone else though

DEREK: Ridin around in an ice cream truck.

DEREK: -takes out the hoverboard and helps dave to stand on it with him- You good? Like your not gonna go flailing into the wind after we take off right?

DAVENFORTH: -Gives him a bloody grin- Come on dude what kind of scrub do you take me for these headless scrublords

DEREK: -snorts- Ok cool. -keeps a tight hold of him though... and then they nyoom, ice cream truck bound.-

DAVENFORTH: -See, look Qirin. He's alive!-

QIRIN: =somewhere she is making this face: :/ =

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 27

DEREK: -after some time passes and folks get patched up, derek's nestled into whatever spot he can find... probably wedged up against the wall next to the back doors of the truck.-

ROXANNE: -Same, shes held up in the back as well, feeling weary as fuck after all of that. But, despite it all, she still cant manage to even entertain the thought of sleep and so she just silent wipes the gross paint off her face.-

DEREK: -looks over at her, sitting up a little more.- How you holdin up?

ROXANNE: -Wordlessly gives him a thumbs up.-

ROXANNE: Good as im gonna' get.

QIRIN: =is just screaming internally about this eye, but she takes out qtips, rubbing alcohol, and some gd tweezers to get all the junk out of Davenforth's face.=

DAVENFORTH: -HISSES loudly at her-

ROXANNE: -Take your medicine, dude.-

DAVENFORTH: -JUST TAKE THE FUCKING EYE HOLY SHIT-

QIRIN: You realize if I do not do this, you could potentially lose vision in your eye?

DAVENFORTH: Fuck it call me patchy ill get over it

DEREK: -glances at them... ok so people are still getting patched up-

QIRIN: You realize if you lose vision in your eye, your depth perception will be off until you relearn how to fight?

DEREK: -looks back at roxanne- We made a pretty sweet team back there though.

DAVENFORTH: You dont relearn how to fight you just get used to fighting with shitty perception just like you get used fighting with a searing fucking migraine

DAVENFORTH: These glasses arent even prescription

ROXANNE: Yeah, guess we did. ROXANNE: first time tryin to assassinate anyone, think it went pretty alright.

DAVENFORTH: -He won't admit how sloppy it was. How sloppy HE was...-

QIRIN: I do believe you would prefer fighting with adequate perception rather than the shitty variety. =tries to get him to stay put= I am certain you will thank me later. =Brandishes her tweezers. They're patterned with Hello Kitty.=

DAVENFORTH: -He's staying put, just complaining A LOT. Is he being himself? Is he upset? Who knows. Qirin, Derek, and Lif probably do.-

DEREK: Yeah. DEREK: -glances at the floor- Sorry again for draggin yall into this.

ROXANNE: -She is pretty sure Davenforth is just upset because he got his face pounded by juggalo zombie freaks. Its completely understandable.- ROXANNE: Well its done now at least.

DAVENFORTH: -He's upset because usually he'd be able to take this on his own despite the bullshit and YET.-

QIRIN: =Good. Because she's going for a broken piece right now= QIRIN: =Chimes in though= No need. We all survived with minor injuries being the worst of it.

DAVENFORTH: -Mocks her voice- We were all able to survive with minor injuries excpet for you davenforth

QIRIN: :|

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

DEREK: -glances from the floor to roxanne again and rubs at the back of his neck.- Yeah. DEREK: Thanks Ro.

ROXANNE: -Dude.-

QIRIN: I meant to say that minor is not on the verge of death considering our track record.

ROXANNE: -Stares at Davenforth's rudeness before looking back at derek.- ROXANNE: No problem.

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

QIRIN: =mocks his mocking of her voice= We were all able to survive with minor injuries including you, Davenforth. QIRIN: Congratulations.

QIRIN: c:

DAVENFORTH: Dont fuckin patronize me

ROXANNE: (Jeez.) -Someone is grumpy.-

QIRIN: =plucks a shard from his cheek= QIRIN: You believe that I am concealing surperiority under a layer of false kindness?

DAVENFORTH: -Hisses softly- Sometimes

DEREK: -snorts a little at the exchange-

QIRIN: =Just...stares out the window for a brief moment= QIRIN: =she inhaled, like it was hard to say.= You are right. I apologize. It all could have gone poorly for us on the lawn. QIRIN: I did not intend- =She sighed= I am only grateful you were not... =There was significant pause before she finished= ....injured further.

DAVENFORTH: -That's.....not quite what he's expecting. Still he's wincing at the pain and letting her do her job- DAVENFORTH: Yeah well thank you that shit didnt

DAVENFORTH: me too

QIRIN: =She's really grateful. Look at the expression on her face.= QIRIN: I will not lecture you, Davenforth. There is very little I can say that will not brand me a hypocrite. QIRIN: I am aware of the sacrifice needed in order to see victory to the end. QIRIN: You did well and what is more, you came out of it alive. =She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.= Not many can stake claim to that. =The larger shards were out - she would focus on the slivers later. Once she started in the more sensitive area, she had numbed his face with a shot and carefully began extracting shards that had gotten into his eye.

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi why are you so sweet....-

[With Kurloz and Eridan's connections, the ice cream truck was able to bypass all the pesky road blockades in record time, and soon enter the midwest. Hopefully none of you ate any of the juggalo ice cream, lest you get a wicked bad tummy ache... At least there is respite at the lake house in Minnesota.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Get Off the Lawn

[The PARTY TRAIN is a-rolling... and given the sort of situation at and, they've officially reached a time when it's now-or-never. Indeed, the white house lawn-- and much of the DC area-- has been overtaken by massive, colorful circus tents, and BRIGHT, with BRIGHT, SHINING SPOTLIGHTS. Rolling up on this in Jeff's tiny train, it's amazed they aren't run over by what amounts to a media circus-- news vans and camera crews are practically EVERYWHERE, an enormous crowd of people behind velvet ropes and leaning over to watch the small trickle of juggalos entering the circus tents, surrounding the literal circus with a media circus. Despite this, there is no line for entrance to the carnival itself, the dark labrynth of twisting tents and attractions having only a single vendor jamming to horrorcore and a whole heap of INTERVIEWERS looking for a HOT SCOOP.]

[ It's a hell of a scene to look at from a distance. The white house itself isn't even visible beyond the DARK CARNIVAL.]

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- What the shit actually

QIRIN: ... 

QIRIN: I have not yet determined whether a lack of a welcome party is good news or not.

PENNY: yeeeeeeeeEEEEHAW.

ROXANNE: -Euugh, she didnt really mind clowns until this very moment.-

[ Fortunately there are no clouns in IMMEDIATE sight. Just clown-adjascents.]

JEFF: =SWEATING SO MUCH and stays right where he is=

PENNY: -she's made up in clown paint and shit too, rattling her car. she's ready to be rowdy.-

PENNY: -NOT LIKE THEY CAN INFILTRATE REALLY GREAT AFTER BROADCASTING THEMSELVES BUT HEY. MAYBE.-

DEREK: -he's with you, penny... both in attitude and attire.-

KURLOZ: =takes one look around, scrunches up his nose=

[ The current question is: Who is in some kind of disguise, clown makeup or otherwise, and who is not? THE OTHER QUESTION is how close are they getting to the entrance? There is a clear path straight down the middle to the entrance-- with the only landmines being a few reporters and papparazos, and only the occasional fully-garbed Juggalo strides confidently through the entrance.]

RILEY: -this is some bullshit but they have to blend in. And she also refused to stay back by herself. So you win some and you lose some.- holy fuck.

DAVENFORTH: -He's wearing a latex Donald Trump mask. The biggest clown of them all-

RILEY: -DAAAAAAAMN-

ROXANNE: -Most people are getting down with the clown disguise and she is no exception, this is a serious mission despite the smile painted onto her face.-

QIRIN: =She loves you Davenforth, but she can't help but make a face at that mask=

DAVENFORTH: -Well if no one else is getting out, he is. Hello. This is gonna be yuuuuuuuge.-

REPORTER:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

REPORTER: -This one troll is scampering up for the FIRST and HOTTEST scoop-

REPORTER: We;; HE;;O and WE;COME to this historic occasion!

REPORTER: Wou;d you be wi;;ing to answer a few questions? For AMERICA?

DAVENFORTH: Anything for america of course no one loves america more than me if anyone claims as such theyre lying so many people ask me how can you love america and i tell them america is just so wonderful ill show you how much i love america its just the best

ROXANNE: -Davenforth plz.-

RILEY: -she's gonna lose it at this answer so she has to carefully cover her mouth and not mess up her make-up at the same time. Fucking ridiculous-

DEREK: Can I get a whoop whoop for America?

QIRIN: =She wants all this over with so she can get this horrific layer of oil off her face= QIRIN: Whoop whoop!

REPORTER: We;; A;; give a whoop whoop for America! -Makes sure she's in frame as a tubby cameraman holds up a few recording devices with telekinesis. HE LOOKS INCREDIBLY DISINTERESTED IN THIS WHOLE PROCSES.- REPORTER: Te;; the country how EXCITED you are to be taking part of the judicia; process in the first ever, hands-on pub;ic execution of justice on this FORMER;Y backwards world!

ROXANNE: -Stay strong Riley. She is also hoping off the train.- Whoop, lets go 'Murica!

PENNY: WHOOP WHOOOOOP!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Ill tell you this never again will there be so many whoop whoops the amount of whoop whoops today will just be staggering theyre all going to wonder why so many whoops were not had before and ill tell you the american will whoop again they will whoop like they never did before thank you so much

LIFERA: -she, too, is in clown makeup... and made up to look way more purple than she actually is.- 38D

RILEY: -fuck. - whoop fuckin' whoop.

REPORTER: -she is just plain FLABBERGASTED by this man's charisma-

PENNY: -leans and whispers to Qirin- (whats she mean public execution?)

QIRIN: =has a feeling that some pyropes would not take too kindly to the public execuction of justice of any kind= QIRIN: =just..again= Whoop whoop!

HIGHBLOOD: =Gets his bigass on up out here, picking his fangs=

QIRIN: (It is likely exactly what she means.)

REPORTER: One ;ast question! Are you hoping for a seat on the cabinet? Or are you just here for the exhuberant and divine joy of mass mu-- OH GOOD HEAVENS!

REPORTER: (ARE YOU GETTING HIM IN FRAME? GET HIM IN FRAME, ASSHOLE.)

REPORTER: -the other one pans up a bit to look at the Highblood's BIG OLD FACe.-

HIGHBLOOD: =HE'S A FRESH 600 SWEEPS MAYBE=

DAVENFORTH: Look at my my highblood caste friend over there just look at him look at my purple american friend

REPORTER: Ahahaha! Yes indeed, America! You are seeing it here first and best!

REPORTER: Even dishonored expatriates are eager to win their p;ace in the New America! REPORTER: I'm assuming that you are hoping for a spot on the cabinet, but-- oh!

REPORTER: Any statements you'd ;ike to make?

REPORTER: -HOLDS THE MIC UP TO GHB-

LIFERA: -really close to GHB... she is not comfortable now that the camera is in their direction...-

LIFERA: >38D;;

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down at this reporter troll= HIGHBLOOD: ...... =leans on down, slowly, covering this tiny fish with his hair probably= HIGHBLOOD: hah HIGHBLOOD: haha...hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =Big booming laughter, she don't even need the mic for this= HIGHBLOOD: =straightens up, lifts hand= no further inquiries sis. =strides his ass on=

REPORTER: -CLEARLY UNNERVED AND FORCING A FAKE SMILE-

DAVENFORTH: What an articulate speaker there he goes my clown american friend give it up everybody

REPORTER: ..... (:C

ROXANNE: -Dammn big clown, you go.-

LIFERA: -DOES SOME KIND OF DIMISSIVE HAND SIGN FROM UNDERNEATH THE HAIR. It's about all that can be seen of her as she strolls along-

[ The other seem to be TRYING to get an interview, but the circus itself beckons, and they're all a TEENSY bit intimidated by GHB's presence.]

DEREK: Much clown love from that jolly motherfucker amirite?

DAVENFORTH: -Falls in line with GHB- DAVENFORTH: You alright magilla

PENNY: hell motherfuck yeah my ninja. -leans against Derek with an entire bottle of Faygo.-

HIGHBLOOD: :o) HIGHBLOOD: alls am gonna get right and recalibrated

RILEY: -they're way too good at this-

RILEY: -sticks with lifers tho-

RILEY: -or you know...lifera-

PENNY: -IT'S TWO WHOLE LITERS.-

DAVENFORTH: Im calibrated get me and my bro a big enough distraction and ill get the rest taken care of

ROXANNE: -Shes trailing behind Davenforth to make this a clown entourage.-

[ The ticket taker, too busy jamming to bother stopping them or even explaining anything, could PROBABLY be hassled with a determined effort, but they could also slip right past if they didn't care about this guy's shit. ]

HIGHBLOOD: dones is done and done

HIGHBLOOD: =Would killing him be a determined effort=

[ no man he's pretty easy to kill ]

PENNY: -squeezing past and also quipping at the reporter now- yeah tell yallselves the fams gonna party real hard tonight. HATCHETS HIGH IN THE SKY.

DAVENFORTH: Thank you my clown american friend

LIFERA: -pulls Riley into the hair. join her.-

DEREK: Ill raise my faygo to that juggalette.

RILEY: -OOOOH HAIR TENT-

PENNY: -CACKLES-

RILEY: -it tickles-

DEREK: -CHUGS HIS OWN BOTTLE. its orange obv.-

LIFERA: -whispers to her- (Stick with me. If it gets dangerfish, I'll protect you.)

HIGHBLOOD: =He's a secret meeting place, good yes=

RILEY: (i'm swooning already. take me away.)

[ The carnival itself-- and oh, fuck, this is kinda dizzying. It's not set up like a regular carnival, with lots of games and attractions and flashing lights to attract attention and tokens, but rather, it's decorated with strung lights and smears of blood on the floor. Most of the blood appears to be human blood, and the lighting seems to turn at a dime from dim to blindingly bright. There are TONS of exits from this one circus tent alone-- at least five-- and it's hard to tell where the others lead to. Notes are scrawled on the canvas in blood, but most of them are extolling the virtues of mass murder, or the first few lines of JUGGALO PRAYERS.]

[ On a less severe note, the place is just sorta grody besides that. Like carnival grody.]

RILEY: ...

ROXANNE: -Nasty.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Makes face atthat scripture on the walls.= :o/

DAVENFORTH: -Stretches a little. Adjusts his tie.-

ROXANNE: -Also moves up next to Davenforth.- (Hey wall building homie. plan of route?) ROXANNE: -She ASSUMES he roughly has some sort of plan...please.-

DAVENFORTH: (They fucked this up a lot more than i thought it may take me a little bit to make out a route play along for now)

PENNY: -strides almost drunkenly along with Derek, but it's all just a ruse. She's just trying to seem nonchalant about this whole thing, eyes half-lidded and grinning, but her heart is pounding. This place is fucking weird.-

ROXANNE: (M'kay.) ROXANNE: (Is it also just me or does this place reek like a compost dump?)

RILEY: -you're doin' good lil sis.-

DAVENFORTH: (Welcome to juggalos lil mama)

DAVENFORTH: -Looks for a high point for him to clamber up and gain a better view-

ROXANNE: (Im already ready ta'say goodbye.) -Keeps smiling besides being anxious as fuck.-

[Tent poles, if he wants to shimmy. Once he gets high enough he can cut a hole in the canvas and peep out of it.]

LIFERA: -GIGGLING at Riley for a moment, but just keeps her hand on her arm and quiets again. That blood everywhere... humans are so fragile. She doesn't want anyone to be hurt here.- (I fish I cod!) LIFERA: (It smells like stale stank.)

DAVENFORTH: (Be right back yall) -Already shimmying up a tentpole-

DEREK: -he's got u penny. he's pretty zen himself, but pumped to be here and do this shit finally. pats the sisters shoulder, but guides the pair of them over to davenforth and roxanne so he can eavesdrop on their whispering-- oh but he ascends.-

DEREK: -bobs while he watches this-

PENNY: -that's not conspicuous at all... just fuckin tips up her two liter of faygo and drinks while watching this. this is normal.-

ROXANNE: -Look at him go.- ROXANNE: -Just gonna lean on that pole a little, its totally chill there is nothing suspicious going on here.-

[YOU KNOW HE LOVES TO SHIMMY]

RILEY: (honestly i've been liking the whole mouth breather thing.)

DAVENFORTH: -Shimmy shimmy coco puff. Shimmy shimmy now. Cutting this tent all up, what's he peepin now?-

LIFERA: (You shouldn't talk about your husband like that.) 38)

[The bright light from the Outdoors streams in through the hole he just cut-- and it's kind of a run, sure, but he can see the white house now that he's got a good vantage.]

DEREK: -damn..................... or should he say dwamn-

[There's actually a decent enough route BETWEEN the tents, if he commits it to memory-- leading right to the front door. It seems like the secret service has been co-opted by carnival attractions, though.]

DAVENFORTH: -Slides down the pole on some cirque de soleil shit-

DAVENFORTH: Alright got it its kind of a jog but nothin too bad lot of tents in the way

ROXANNE: -Steps away from it so he has room to get down.- ROXANNE: Sweet.

DAVENFORTH: -Looks at GHB- Everyone ready

PENNY: say the word homie.

RILEY: -she snorts at that comment lifera makes- (oh shit. nice.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Thumbs up and rolls his shoulders=

ROXANNE: Lets fuck shit up.

LIFERA: -glubs softly and nods! wait. peeks out of the hair and then nods!-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes through the tent into the actual carnival itself and it's hitting him how fucking....CARNIVAL like this shit is. Oh...-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody like carnival games like i mean just for the record just asking for a friend a cheeto dusted friend

[READY OR NOT, here it comes. And by IT i mean the true nature of the Dark Carnival itself; it is where sinners are taken to be TESTED and learn the DARK MORALS of the joker cards. Indeed-- here's one now! The sinner in question is a human, gagged, blindfolded and tied, atanding underneath some kind of strength-tester machine-- the kind where you hit the lever and a big metal thingy flies up to ding a bell. Set up in such a way that after it goes up, it's going to come straight down on this dude's head, and guarded by a four-foot-five troll who is frankly built with terrifying muscles.-

ROBUSTO: YOU THINK YOU ARE AS STRONG AS ROBUSTO???? PROVE YOUR STRENGTH OR DIE LIKE COWARD-MAN WHO TELLS STATE SECRETS TO FOREIGN POWERS.

LIFERA: !!!

PENNY: -oh god yep here they go.....-

DAVENFORTH: -Whispers a reclaimed racial slur under his breath-

RILEY: (anybody tries to fucking do that shit i'll be the one whackin you over the head.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Ants=

ROBUSTO: -HOLDS UP AN ENORMOUS MALLET. It's wooden and heavy.- WHO WILL TAKE ROBUSTO'S CHALLENGE????

DAVENFORTH: And if we say fuck yourself with that righteous noise

DAVENFORTH: Just checkin for a friend

LIFERA: -soft hissing in this hair. She.... starts shuffling closer to Davenforth.- (Go. Keep going.)

DAVENFORTH: (Lif)

RILEY: - fucking striders-

ROBUSTO: -SQUINTS. And twirls his moustache.-

LIFERA: (Now.)

ROXANNE: -Hhgh. This is already another layer of hell, but also Davenforth dont call attention.-

HIGHBLOOD: testin strength...... HIGHBLOOD: =eyeballs Robusto= we can play this game while y'all check shit it :o)

ROXANNE: -Listen to your fish wife.-

LIFERA: -punches Davenforth in the shoulder and laughs-

DAVENFORTH: -Soft marge noise-

ROBUSTO: A-HA! ROBUSTO: FINALLY. ONE WHO IS NOT WEAK AND COWARD WHO FAILS TO WIN GLORIOUS HONOR OF BLOOD PRIZE DEAD MAN SHATTER SKULL.

ROBUSTO: -shoves the mallet in GHB's hand-

LIFERA: T)(IS MOT)(-ERFUCK-ER TOO WIMPY TO DO IT. G-ET OUTTA )(-ER-E.

RILEY: (jesus christ.)

DAVENFORTH: When that beat hits yall -We book it-

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST indeed-

DEREK: -he's ready to book it... sipping his faygo.-

ROBUSTO: -STRENUOUSLY FLEXES-

HIGHBLOOD: =This mallet is a toothpick isn't it? Look at his ham hands... but he takes it. Snrks=

HIGHBLOOD: =Crouches= :o)

LIFERA: -watches GHB carefully-

ROBUSTO: -FLEXES EVEN MORE-

ROBUSTO: ✨💪✨

RILEY: i would prefer not to have someone's blood on me but you know.

HIGHBLOOD: =Bops Robusto like a field mouse. Right on the cranium bro=

ROXANNE: -Ah, yep. There it is.-

DAVENFORTH: Cheese it

PENNY: -WELL JESUS-

ROXANNE: -Time to book it fellas and lady gents.-

RILEY: -OK BYE-

LIFERA: -WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR THIS-

DAVENFORTH: -Bolts to the right and rips through the canvas. White house here we come!-

ROBUSTO: -oh MAN he takes a lump for sure. His head is CRACKED loudly and he holds up a finger in SHEER OUTRAGE- ROBUSTO: COWARD WIGGLER STRIKES ROBUSTO INSTEAD OF RUBOSTUS KILLMAN KILLING... ROBUSTING... ROBUSTO: ROBOTS??? ROBUSTO: -he falls over DEAD.-

DEREK: -throws this sugary shit on the dirty ass ground and flash steps after davenforth-

DAVENFORTH: -Babe I'm already gone. Kanye shrug-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYES the others and opens his arms= now now HIGHBLOOD: what else ams i testin?

ROXANNE: -YOU BOYS AND YOUR FLASH STEPING. She cant do that but she can sure sprint like hell after sending a glance to the rest of the group. Good luck guys.-

PENNY: -aaaaAAAHHHHH. SHAKES UP HER FAYGO FURIOUSLY and DUNKS it on the ground. it goes shooting up like a fucking rocket and sprays the crowd-

[The nearby juggalos murmur and mutter something. A few of them SCAMPER OFF, but a small group brandishes a set of hatchets.]

[Apparently this seems to indicate that they'd tie a rope to their dicks and jump off a building, should the mood strike them, but ALSO, that they think they can Totally take the guy that murdered Robusto.]

DAVENFORTH: -Well he don't wanna leave Rox behind. No flash stepping yet, but he's also sprinting around the perimeter of tents. It's hard to breathe in this Trump mask y'all.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't let him talk them out of it. There's gonna be a lot of blood back here as he will grab and squish skulls...sans for One. One he'll voodoo and have murderlate their pals.=

ROXANNE: -That is greatly appreciated.-

LIFERA: -grabs Riley's wrist and drags her behind GHB, toward the fucked up strength tester and the human that's tied up. She sure doesn't need to see this, and while that's happening, they could get this guy outta here-

PENNY: -she's just gonna uhhhh. stay outta GHB's way. yeaahhhh-

[I WILL SPARE U THE GORY DETAILS OF HOW DEAD THE GROUP IS. Except for the one guy hollering and raising his hatchet chasing after the other clowns. The others don't think there's anything fucked up about that, though, that just sorta happens sometimes.]

PENNY:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PENNY: -she's gonna need to get REAL fucked up after this-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's snickering as this happens, what a bunch of idiots. He's covering the ladies=

RILEY: -IS PULL. Looks up at this tied up Guy. SHES PRETTY GOOD AT UNTYING. Except when she isn't. She's going to do her best- okay dude you're going to run as fast as you can outta here.

LIFERA: B-ETT-ER Y-ET. -She unties the gag around the guy's mouth and the blindfold from his eyes, and then pulls out a little container of greasy black paint, smearing his face with it.- 38)

GUY: -wheezes.- th-thank you. Those people a-are... -TRYING NOT TO FOCUS ON THE GORE OVER THERE- GUY: ... GUY: don't eat the funnel cake. -As soon as he's free he BOLTS.-

HIGHBLOOD: yo what >:o/ HIGHBLOOD: how the fuck they fucked up funnel cake... dumb motherfuckers

LIFERA: Glub...

RILEY: no funnel cake over here.

QIRIN: =She doesnt even know how to comment to all of this=

LIFERA: Ocray... ST-EP BACK.

[It seems that this particular tent is cleared, save for some gruesome reminders. There are three other flaps; one leading back where they came from, near the ticket booth, one branching to the left and one branching to the right.]

LIFERA: -motions the other ladeez to get outta the way before doing a little half lean and then KICKING the strength tester to try to knock it down. NO MORE OF THIS.-

[ IT CRASHES.]

[CLONK]

QIRIN: =claps softly= Property damage, hurrah. ^_^

LIFERA: T)(ANKS.

QIRIN: =high five, lif!=

LIFERA: -SLAP-

LIFERA: Where to now?

[would they like to inspect any passages in particular]

[One leading back where they came, one to the right and one to the left.]

[There is the vague sound of music coming from the right... and the vague sound of someone furiously arguing to the left.]

QIRIN: =is is possible to hear what they are arguing about from here?=

[NOPE]

[u would have to get closer, and 'closer' means probably 'through the passage entirely.']

PENNY: -she's already heading toward the left one....-

[aw shit. If she makes it through, she'd see... well, someone who MAY or MAY not be recognizable to her.]

PENNY: -she's DOING IT.-

PENNY: -waves the others over-

[either way, it's the current secretary of state, one Alex Abbiss. He seems to be shouting down a group of juggalos-- some hatchet-wielding and TERRIFIED fellows who probably just saw Robusto get murdered.]

HIGHBLOOD: =Hey what's up hello, I murdered up your friend and now it's your turn to go=

[It is OBVIOUS that this is an important guy, and as they get closer to the man in a bloodstained jersey with a whole rack of vynyl records strapped to his back, they can hear what he's helling about-- how important he is and how NONE of these goddamned posers are gonna be gunning for HIS job, he MADE the ICP, do you HEAR HIM]

[This changes as he hears them enter, and FLINGS a razor-sharp record at them in a fury.]

PENNY: - SH I T-

PENNY: -JUST TRIES TO DUCK-

[she gets... a SMALL haircut. ]

[He's pulling some more records on them. HE'S READY TO TUSSLE.]

PENNY: -THAT MOTHERFUCKER.-

PENNY: -whips out her gun because... well, it's really the only thing she knows how to use, but it's gonna make a lot of noise...-

LIFERA: -leading Riley along after her??-

[The other juggalos seem to have fallen in rank behind him, because shit, okay, MAYBE they just tried to murder him, but they can also get in good with him if they kill these people? Whatever. IT'S A SURE FIRE RUCKUS HAPPENING, THAT'S FOR SURE.]

QIRIN: =oh hell WHY= QIRIN: =raises her dukes! Her spear is noticable enough that it might blow her cover and that would just put prospit in a (more) precarious situation.=

ERIDAN: -some masquerade masked fish is rolling into the scene. Literally rolling in on an actual unicycle somewhere under the flashy cape he's wearing. A relic from a time he used to be proud to wear such a thing.- ERIDAN: -Hey, Penny. He's here and swinging out a LAUNCHER of some kind. They'll find out what it does in the second he fires it.-

PENNY: -THE FUCK???-

[Don't worry boys, clustering up together in a tight group is the BEST kind of tactics.]

[The juggalos all agree with that sentiment.]

LIFERA: -peeks in for this... the fuck-

PENNY: -she agrees with that sentiment, as it happens-

ERIDAN: -Fires the launcher like he's shooting fish in a barrel. In a single swift PCHOO, it explodes in a thick vault of LIQUID NITROGEN right over the juggalos. The chemical will be freezing on impact with their skin.- B/

[oh FUCK. They start to charge as a group, hatchets HIGH, and then they continue to do so, with their hatchets high, in that EXACT position, possibly FOREVER. They are SUPER DUPER FROZEN.]

ERIDAN: -Owwned.-

ERIDAN: so ERIDAN: the others been on their wway huh looks like it -just kinda balancing there. Just another Thursday afternoon.-

PENNY: ....... dude.

LIFERA: Y-ES. You're about on tide.

[By the look of things, YES. This cut rate Fieri-clone has been put to his end; along with a sizable number of juggaspirants.]

ERIDAN: -pockets the rifle. Safe and sound.- alright ERIDAN: yall finishin the job or should wwe keep pressin wwith the dispatchin ERIDAN: it aint goin to end wwith the death a the figureheads wwe ought to be securin a method a escape

LIFERA: CL-EARING T)(-E WAY. Sounds good to me.

[Behind them, there is suddenly the sound of... sizzling grease?]

QIRIN: =is there an alternate weapon she can grab? perhaps from literal cold, dead hands?=

[Hot oil and something being poured into it-- and though he was not visible there before, he is now.]

VENDOR: You look like you could use some

funnel cakes.

PENNY: oh hell no.

[As for weapons, there are SHARP VINYL RECORDS and HATCHETS to choose from Qirin.]

VENDOR:

FREE OF CHARGE.

ERIDAN: -mghhh. He's hungry suddenly, flicking fins in the direction of the sound.- ERIDAN: -taking out a sniper's rifle now, balanced on his unicycle. B[ -

VENDOR: [He holds out the funnel cake.. towards you, specifically, Eridan.]

VENDOR: [It smells... intoxicating. Literally.]

VENDOR: This... is rare supply. We're running low. Haven't had our shipment from scenic niagra falls.

LIFERA: Don't eat that.

VENDOR: But you can eat it.

VENDOR: Carnival food is pure food, son.

VENDOR: Good... pure... food.

ERIDAN: -Nah thanks. He shoots this fucker and his funnel cake.-

VENDOR: -!

VENDOR: -Frying dough pours out of the hole in his head.-

VENDOR: FOOL!

VENDOR: -Pulls out both fry baskets, brandishing the HOT METAL as the inhuman figure staggers, attempting to LUNGE at him despite his... rapidly spilling vital dough.-

ERIDAN: -pedals backwards with finesse. Pew. Pew. Pat. Pat. Yeah, fine, brandish the hot metal. Eridan is swinging the butt of his rifle to combat this oily fuck.-

VENDOR: -GURGLING AND SCREAMING AS HE COLLAPSES INTO A PUDDLE OF YEAST.-

VENDOR: -DEAD-

[Only the hot grease cart remains.]

QIRIN: ......................

ERIDAN: gross ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: -flicks a lighter on and eyes the hot grease cart.-

QIRIN: =She came back from retrieving the vinyl records because heck, at least it's like throwing knives.= QIRIN: Either they have been altered to a molecular level or they have found a way to make yeast sentient. I am unsure which prospect is the more disturbing.

[It's pretty tricked out, as far as hot grease carts go. It's also full of boiling hot, flammable liquid, which COULD very well be useful.]

ERIDAN: -Damn... true... slowly puts the lighter away.- wwe got ourselvves a bomb

QIRIN: It may very well be the diversion the others require. =She's inspecting the cart further. Does it have wheels for rollin?=

[IT SURE DOES]

QIRIN: =peeps out the tent flap. Anything downhill? Anything important looking that needs burning?=

[Would that be the tent flap back the way they came from, or the next unexplored tent?]

PENNY: ... a bomb?

PENNY: sounds good.

PENNY: what are we blowing?

QIRIN: =the next=

ERIDAN: good question -squints heavily and considers. All of it would be ideal...- somethin thatll draww the majority of wwhos left for a brawwl ERIDAN: that wway provvidin the means to escape for the others ERIDAN: wwhere the shit is that impregnated twwinkie gobbler

[There is something down the way... something that looks... important. Or at least, important enough. She can only get a glimpse, but it's a pretty popular spot, and the flashing light appears to say PRIZES.]

QIRIN: =Well that settles that= QIRIN: The prize booth calls to us. ^_^ QIRIN: Everyone prepared for vandalism and arson?

PENNY: excuse? -stares at Eridan-

ERIDAN: wwell aint she -Really doesn't see anything wrong with his word choice.- you her wward or not

PENNY: yeah maybe. could also be called a twinkie gobbler.

PENNY: prefer Nuthands McMike though.

ERIDAN: -frowns- i disagree she aint done nothin to earn such a title

[WOULD YOU LIKE EVIDENCE ERIDAN]

ERIDAN: -Yeah sure. He's seen worse shit.-

[oh well he doesn't have any actually]

[go back to rigging ur greasebomb]

ERIDAN: -alright. Moves off the unicycle to cover this stupid grease cart with his cape.- wwere the shit wwe takin this

PENNY: -she's talking about herself u fuck-

PENNY: approximately thattaway. -points to where Qirin indicated-

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: oh shit i smell the funnel cake dude

[the voice WAFTS from that direction]

[calling in a siren song]

ERIDAN: -mmm better get this cart moving. Wrings out a hankerchief like BLEH and uses it to get a grip on the handle. Now pushes it along.- ERIDAN: this reeks somethin' awwful

QIRIN: =She smoothly saunters out to the sound of Some Fuckin Juggalo to greet them as the others try workin the cart'=

[It does... like grease, but also some sinister chemicals. And sinister jujus.]

[THE JUGGALO MOSTLY JUST WANTS FUNNEL CAKES.]

[But he is at least blocked from what is to come.]

ERIDAN: -wheels this cart outtie, definitely holding his breath from BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS. Hello prize booth.-

[There's all kinds of prizes on display: Axes, special stardust, clown facepaint. Essentials.]

[Seems like they're paying in blood tokens, which are, in fact, human ears. Probably from people less lucky than the guy they rescued.]

LIFERA: -She's following as well, ready to punch a clown if necessary.-

PENNY: ... -can she grab one of those axes? are there people around??-

[THERE ARE. Lots of people, actually. Trying to get their prizes. Some of them are now trying to get funnel cakes.]

ERIDAN: -The funnel cake cart is TARPED by cape, you idiots. Can you not SEE.-

[THEY CAN SMELL IT YOU BOGARD]

[BOGART?]

[WHATEVER]

QIRIN: Helllllloooo there! =She does block his way, cocking her hip as she greets the juggalo cheerily!= A miraculous evening to you!

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: YEAH POPPIN HOT SHIT NINJETTE WHERES THE DOUGH AT????

PENNY: -aUGH-

QIRIN: Aw man, the line's all clogged up! Some eighth grade history class came for their class trip! Dough guy has gotta feed the next generation, you know what I mean? Ahahahaha!

[The juggalo has NO idea what this fresh pimpin ninjette is going on about. But at least that buys them some room and some time to move the thing.]

RILEY: -she wandered a little too far and got lost... Suddenly panting next to them- holy shit you would not believe-- oh my god what NOW?

ERIDAN: havve at it -whirls the cape off the cart and throws it over Riley.- keep that on wwould you ERIDAN: its durable the kind to ride out lightnin storms through

RILEY: -catches it. Thank you ace reflexes. She puts it on- i'm such a badass.

QIRIN: =are they even done yet? She's waiting for BOOM!= So...while we wait for Boogie Woogie Wu to scare off the tiny children, why do we not exchange pleasantries on this fresh turf?

JUGGALO: :o/

QIRIN: What do you favor? Halls of Illusion or House of Horrors?

JUGGALO: -SLOWLY REATCHING FOR HIS HATCHET-

RILEY: -penny do I need to get my gun-

ERIDAN: -turns his back to riley in a dramatic fashion and arms himself with an assault rifle. All eyes on him, folks.- alright you insatiable GREASE CLOUT FUCKS CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKIN PATH ERIDAN: -and promptly bombkicks the cart and the whole trap of grease into the crowd.-

MOVVE I SAID

QIRIN: Ah, I see you have a hatchet. You should never run with one...unless you're

running with a hatchet,

amirite? QIRIN: ;)

JUGGALO: -oh shit.- JUGGALOS: -OH SHIT-

[They suddenly bolt out of the way of the HOT GREASE CART-

RILEY: -this is suddenly the most exciting shit she's seen in a while. Gun time.- B)

ERIDAN: -taking this time to line gallons of sparkle fish gasoline by the display stands. Marching like the grimest of military marches. They only really have one shot at this. His glasses glint menacingly at the crowd.- STRIDER -bares fangs- ERIDAN: LETS BLOWW THIS TENTED SHITSTAIN OF A FESTIVVAL

QIRIN: =still distracting this one juggalo if he isn't distracted already. She's going to rinse her mouth with salf water after this=

[HE IS DISTRACTED WITH RUNNING FROM THE EMINENT FIRE]

QIRIN: =Awesome.= QIRIN: =she quickly joins everyone else, more than gently urging everyone back. She has a feeling this will be a fireball.=

RILEY: -WHERE IS PENNY SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HER-

ERIDAN: -God damn it, STRIDER.-

ERIDAN: -You're back at being the twwinkie gobbler.-

RILEY: -so....you're saying I was promoted? SHES NOT LEAVIN WITHOUT PENNY-

PENNY: -SHE'S COMING SHIT-

RILEY: -YOU BETTER OR IMGONNA DRAG YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE-

LIFERA: -also just gonna keep distance from this shit-

ERIDAN: -brandishing the assault rifle at the crowd. Now that everything is in order, Eridan whirls on the prize tent and begins peppering the gasoline tanks with gunfire. Hasta la vista you salted juggalo fucks.-

JODIE: - She's been GHOSTING away from the main group in full aggrobat regalia, even throwing in a cartwheel or two. yup she totes mgoats belongs here. she's looking for a get away vehicle of some kind. -

RILEY: -LETS GO-

[THAT IS A KABOOM]

[The prize stand goes up in flames. Clown paint and stardust? Flammable.]

[The gasoline tanks goes up in flames. The tent itself? IT IS ON FIRE YOU BET YOUR ASS]

[The smoke is choking but it's spreading WAY too quick across the whole dang long.]

[lawn]

[whatever]

ERIDAN: - 🔥🔥🔥 -

JODIE: - well it looks like things are going well over there. -

[THAT LONG LAWN.]

QIRIN: =shoving people in the away direction. Forgive her lack of being gentle, but if it's spreading, and people are lagging, she'll resort to hupping em under an arm and toting them away.=

JODIE: - Let's see... something not on fire... not on fire... -

[There is a BEAUTIFUL convertible that-- no wait it's on fire. And it was a raffle prize anyways.]

[Looks like the ice cream truck isn't on fire. Don't eat the ice cream though.]

JODIE: - That'll work. She sneaks up and checks the windows to make sure it's empty. She can't be sure about the back though, she'll need to. open it up. Scurries-

ERIDAN: -holding his goddamn breath in all this. Seadweller skills activate. Fuck, his gills are going to burn something fierce in all this smoke.- ERIDAN: -SHOVING HIS SOLDIERS, GO GO GO GO GO. Messaging Jeff and the others stationed outside the premises. There's no going back to the campus after this.-

LIFERA: -DON'T YOU SHOVE ME BOI-

ERIDAN: -THEN GET IN THE ICE CREAM TRUCK QUEENIE. CHRIST.-

RILEY: -SORRY BOUT THE SMOKE RYAN IM TRYIN OVER HERE-

ERIDAN: -At least she has the cape and won't get burned by ash.-

QIRIN: =Helping Riley in the van. She's preggers with an energy consumer, after all.=

JODIE: -KEYS? IF NOT ROLL TO HOT WIRE. This takes her back to 6th grade. -

RILEY: -thanks qirin you are a gem-

ERIDAN: -balancing himself out in the back, ready to defend with one arm on his rifle. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES.-

LIFERA: -just kinda joins Eridan there, just in case-

PENNY: -hops up front with Jodie- lets get this shit rollin huh??

QIRIN: ^_^

JODIE: -She's managed to get it WORKING. Ice cream truck noises-

ERIDAN: -side eyes the juggalo ex-empress. Has another moment of disconnecting surrealism.-

[Broom broom. She's in her mum's car.]

LIFERA: 38D

JODIE: bet your sweet ass. everybody in? -

RILEY: yeah! floor it!

ERIDAN: -Still remains... the sound of silence...-

JODIE: haha... ha.... - FLOORS IT. TOWARDS THE WHITEHOUSE. This is her life. -

JODIE: - Not the worst thing she's done with an ice cream truck but at least the worst thing she's done on the white house lawn.-

RILEY: -HOLDING ONTO THE NEAREST PERSON FOR BALANCE-

QIRIN: =It's okay, she's sturdy=

[Once the twins and Roxanne are SECURED, the getaway ice cream truck is now Minnesota bound. For everyone's safety, it's best not to hide out anywhere near here... The campus had been evacuated after the concert, anyway. Just to be safe.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 23

ROXANNE: -There are aspects of the campus that really are quite spectacular and maybe if it wasnt the circumstances of this basically being a kind of revolution base Roxanne still would have wanted to visit it anyways. For instance this fountain she is looking at is quite lovely! Dont mistake her stern expression for not appreciating it, she is just fairly stressed the fuck out.-

RILEY: -too restless. she's always so restless lately, especially from last night. the walk she's taking leads her by the fountain, where roxanne is, and she doesn't look too happy.- hey.

RILEY: -alternatively HEY!!!!!-

ROXANNE: -The smaller hey will suffice in getting her attention away from the water.- Hm? oh hey.

RILEY: what are you doing out here this late? can't sleep either?

ROXANNE: Sure.

RILEY: -looks around before approaching closer, also looking at the fountain- that's. RILEY: sure an answer.

ROXANNE: Yeah. -Sighs and rubs her eyes with the back of her hand.- Sorry, Im just. Yeah cant sleep.

ROXANNE: Too much to think about ya'know?

RILEY: oh, yeah. too much shit. RILEY: hard to even feel rested when all of this is going on.

RILEY: also when i have this beautiful little fucker kicking my insides.

ROXANNE: Yeah I was about to ask if that was the reason you are still awake. th'kicking is the absolute worst sometimes. ROXANNE: I remember at one point i couldnt even sit comfortably let alone lay any which way without feeling my organs crushed.

RILEY: -she laughs- yeah, sounds about right. it's like...okay, yeah. i get you're bored, kid. can't you just like move those really tiny fingers you developed instead?

ROXANNE: Nope 'cus feet are hell of a lot more interesting. thats why babies love chewing on their own toes.

RILEY: fuck, i remember that. when i first saw dirk do that i was like...freaking out about it because i thought i had a monster baby, but i didn't.

ROXANNE: Nope your baby is just normal as every other toe eating baby.

RILEY: thank god. didn't want to return that one.

ROXANNE: -Turns and looks at her with a raised eyebrow.-

RILEY: joke. joking. not serious.

ROXANNE: Yeah got as much.

RILEY: ha. haha. yeah. RILEY: -clears her throat- anyway. you thinking about the whole...i don't know what the fuck to call it. mission?

ROXANNE: -Nods.- I might sound dramatic in sayin' it but to be honest its the only thing i really can think about right now. -Sighs, and glances back at the fountain again.- which is pretty damn annoying considerin' i didnt want us to go through with it in the first place. i still dont.

ROXANNE: But what can you do.

RILEY: no. it's all i can think about too. i get that.

ROXANNE: Yeah? What are your thoughts.

RILEY: i don't want to do this, honestly. but i understand why more now. RILEY: i just hate the risk.

ROXANNE: -Well at least one of them understands why. Like, yeah no the concert was great and amazing and inspiring but... This just wasnt something she could ever really support.- Same. ROXANNE: I was having a talk with that Eridan guy. he said it pretty spot on there is a real chance we all are gonna' die doing this.

RILEY: -she looks down when she says that- what does that guy know anyway? RILEY: it's obvious. isn't it. -her expression softens-

ROXANNE: ..... Hey do me a favor, Riley.

ROXANNE: If... or I dunno' when shit hits the fan. gets hot. goes crazy, whatever you want to call it. Keep yourself away from it and get the hell out of here and all the way to minnesota. -Says this all without looking at her.-

RILEY: -she nods- yeah. of course. RILEY: do me a favor?

ROXANNE: Name it.

RILEY: -sniffs a little- stay the fuck alive.

ROXANNE: -Riley dont sniff. She tenses a little when she hears it, Riley better not cry.- ROXANNE: ....Okay.

RILEY: -she's tearing up a little. she wipes at her eyes quickly cuz she doesn't WANT to cry right now- good.

RILEY: cool.

ROXANNE: -Yes please dont cry because if she starts crying then Roxanne is definitely just going to let it out too.- ROXANNE: -Contain the sads and stress for the win.- ROXANNE: Thanks by the way...for asking for that. I mean like not that I wasnt planing to but I'm pretty damn serious to my word so now its a for sure thing.

RILEY: yeah. of course. RILEY: i'm really shitty at it, but. RILEY: i still want you to be okay?

ROXANNE: I want you to be okay too. Fuck... I just want all of us to make it out of this alive, in any semblance of okay. but every day its starting to feel like thats asking too much. ROXANNE: Like i dont even want to check the message board anymore but I cant not look at it you know?

ROXANNE: Everything is going to hell for us. For everyone. how are we supposed to stay positive about this stupid suicide run when everyone else is struggling to just get to minnesota. -Her fists tighten at her sides and shes trying really hard to keep the anger out of her voice.- ROXANNE: I get it, its really important that we do this. Earth is my planet, I get it as well as anyone else but its impossible for me not to feel like it shouldnt be us doing it.

ROXANNE: -Her shoulders sink a little now.- Ugh. What the fuck do I know though, I never dealt with combat I'm a shitty scientist.

RILEY: -she listens to roxanne, her chest tightening. she laughs weakly- i think that's what makes you a great scientist.

RILEY: in my professional educated opinion.

RILEY: with my degree in scient....ology. RILEY: wait no.

ROXANNE: .................................................................... -snrks.-

RILEY: point is you're fucking smart and i am not.

ROXANNE: Yeah but youre good in other ways. ROXANNE: Th'singing was pretty top notch.

RILEY: -she snorts- hey, thanks. RILEY: means a lot coming from a scientist.

ROXANNE: Are ya' going to keep pointing out how im a scientist now?

RILEY: i mean it makes everything i say sound true, so...yeah.

ROXANNE: Hah, alright have fun using my credentials to validate your arguments.... hmmm. -Folds her arms as she thinks.- Ya know come to think of it thats probably the best use of them. ROXANNE: Cant say the whole scientist title has been too useful since we all got labeled criminals.

ROXANNE: I mean sure I still have the skills and all, but i dont actively talk about my old work anymore.

RILEY: oh, i will. -watches her with a grin- there has to be some benefits that come with being friends with a musician, too. like...you can get away with a lot of shit.

ROXANNE: Oh yeah?

RILEY: sadly not treason, but everything else, sure. i guess i'd just have to be present for whatever it was. then it goes hush hush.

ROXANNE: -Snaps.- Damn asking ya' to get us off the hook for presidential murder was going to be my next question.

ROXANNE: I'll keep it in mind though next time i think about doing something crazy.

RILEY: i'm already down.

ROXANNE: Pft, okay.

RILEY: put me on that pre-registration shit.

ROXANNE: After you give birth maybe, I dont wanna' see you do anything risky with me until after.

ROXANNE: Im sure derek would lose it if you ended up in the slammer because of me.

RILEY: ah, it's fun to watch him lose it sometimes. rile him up.

ROXANNE: Wouldnt say I really know i guess, haha.

RILEY: -whoops. she laughs it off- need me to sing you a lullaby so you can sleep?

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 12

RILEY: -she's tired, she's grumpy, and she can't get herself to fall asleep. so she sits in the common area of the dorms wearing a sweatshirt and pajama pants while ryan tests out her feet against the inside of her stomach. and bladder. it's great.-

DAVENFORTH: -Comes in and flops on a couch-

RILEY: -watches him, squinting- hey.

DAVENFORTH: Sup

RILEY: can't sleep either?

DAVENFORTH: Nah

RILEY: same. RILEY: this fucking sucks.

DAVENFORTH: Honestly though

--------

PENNY: -She's currently vandalizing a bulletin board on the campus with a paint pen she found somewhere. She's drawing an incredibly detailed VAGINA.-

PENNY: -PRODUCTIVITY-

JEFF: =Ma'am.......=

PENNY: - ;) -

PENNY: -gotta educate the trolls-

JEFF: =There's.... there's books...=

PENNY: -AND WALLS-

JEFF: =Mmmmmnnng=

RILEY: -she's walking through campus when she stops suddenly seeing someone too familiar drawing on a bulletin board. she too likes vandalizing school property, like writing on benches.- RILEY: -when she realizes who it is, she just moves to stand next to her at this...masterpiece- RILEY: that's some anatomically correct shit right there.

PENNY: you bet. Ive been taking notes.

PENNY: -turns toward Riley slowly and then... reaches the pen out to dab at her cheek.-

RILEY: -unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome. she'll actually let it touch her face before swatting her hand.- trying to give me your birthmark? we'll almost be twins. except not at all.

PENNY: -SNRK- yeah. no! Im making a pentagram. -goes in again-

PENNY: whatll the public think when they find out Robyn Saint is a big ol SATAN WORSHIPPER?

PENNY: probably nothin.

PENNY: they got bigger fish fryin em.

PENNY: lets become Satanists right now.

PENNY: Im inducting you.

PENNY: via paint pen.

PENNY: its loaded with the blood of underpaid workers.

RILEY: well shit, that's deep. RILEY: there's so much meaning in paint pen satanism. RILEY: i have found my life's purpose. RILEY: fuck scientology.

PENNY: ex-act-ly. -smears paint on her cheek. WHERE DOING IT WHERE MAKIN IT HAPEN-

PENNY: then you have to draw one on my tummy and Ill tie my shirt in one of those goofy thirteen year old Sexy Shirt knots and well run around campus seducing new members.

RILEY: -letting this happen- you got it. RILEY: anything to get me into the satan club.

PENNY: HAIL LUCIFER.

PENNY: -leans back to admire the hot pink pentagram... its pretty silly-

PENNY: nailed it.

PENNY: okay here I go. -tries to flip the bottom of her shirt into the neck... smears paint on it in the process...-

PENNY: -yeah shes drunk ok-

PENNY: this is gonna be so good.

PENNY: wheres Jeff.

PENNY: JEFF!!!!!!

RILEY: calm your ass down. you were talking loud enough for the entire state to hear you already. -snorts-

PENNY: I HOPE SO BECAUSE ITS A SHIIIIIIITTY STATE!!!

PENNY: not as bad as Texas though.

RILEY: fuck texas.

PENNY: FUCK TEXAS.

RILEY: FUCK TEXAS!

PENNY: FUUUuUuUuUUuCK THE STARS.

DAVENFORTH: -FUCK TEXAS-

RILEY: hey leave them out of this.

PENNY: and the Alamo.

PENNY: -belatedly offers Riley the paint pen-

PENNY: oh my God Texas.

PENNY: oh my Satan Texas.

PENNY: I went there when all this started and you know???

PENNY: I went there and they didnt even-- -SNORTS-

PENNY: they cut us both out of eeeeverything so we wouldnt even KNOW.

RILEY: forget the alamo. -takes the paint pen and while she's figuring out the most efficient way for her to be level with her sister's stomach without hurting herself, she's listening to her talk. she definitely smells of liquor- RILEY: who?

PENNY: Mom and Dad??

PENNY: theyre dead Riley.

PENNY: yup.

RILEY: wait--what?

RILEY: really?

PENNY: YEAH.

PENNY: those fucking. assholes.

PENNY: I went all the way back for them.

PENNY: and thats not even the worst part.

RILEY: -frowns slightly- what's the worst part? -she's not sure how she feels about this-

PENNY: my only other family just. POOF. -splays a hand in a dramatic POOF gesture. you know the one.- PENNY: hes gone too. PENNY: so why the hell am I still here??

RILEY: wait. -puts her hand up momentarily- two things. RILEY: since you're spitting out information like an auctioneer or whatever the fuck. RILEY: how did they die? and what do you mean other family?

PENNY: ffffff...

PENNY: my SON Riley. my SON.

RILEY: -her expression softens- your son? RILEY: ... RILEY: what...happened?

PENNY: -she sniffs now, reaching up with a hand to rub at suddenly teary eyes- isnt it obvious??? PENNY: they took him from me.

RILEY: no, it's-- -jesus her heart feels like it's melting in her chest because she knows that feeling. she knows it well, but what are the circumstances?- trolls?

PENNY: no.

PENNY: -that one word is miserable-

PENNY: no Im just a shitty mom.

PENNY: -she's crossing her arms over her stomach now, sort of curling in on herself- I wanna find him.

RILEY: what? -HEY ME TOO. but that's not the time for this- where did they take him?

PENNY: I dunno.

PENNY: maybe out of here.

RILEY: who's even regulating kid shit nowadays? i'm sure we can do something to find him.

RILEY: i know a lot of people who are into shady location grabbing and hacking and computer shit.

PENNY: -sniffs- are you for real??

ROXANNE: -Riley you need to stop.-

DAVENFORTH: -Don't come for us like this?-

RILEY: uh. -she didn't have that option before. but she also thought dirk was dead. she sighs- i'm just saying i've seen...some really crazy instances of reuniting due to how talented this group is. RILEY: -she shrugs- i'd just say...it's worth a try.

PENNY: fuck...

PENNY: we cant die fighting stupid ass juggalos.

PENNY: I wanna see Brett.

RILEY: yeah, you can't die. exactly.

PENNY: fuck..... -AGGRESSIVELY RUBS AT EYES-

RILEY: i want to meet him too. RILEY: like i want you to meet my kids.

RILEY: thought my oldest was dead for like...20 years. but he found me.

RILEY: so what i'm saying is...it might not be over yet.

DAVENFORTH: -YAINT-

RILEY: -WHAT-

PENNY: thats super reassuring. -SNIFF.-

RILEY: -she sighs a little at the sarcasm- i know. you can't see anything in the future when your kid's gone. RILEY: how old is he?

PENNY: hes not even one.

RILEY: -fuck. she's feeling so much right now. a lot of guilt, a lot of regret, a lot of wondering if she could have actually saved her from this. she takes a deep breath- i'm. RILEY: i'd say sorry but that doesn't even touch it. RILEY: fucked me up a lot.

PENNY: yeah well. PENNY: it happened so. PENNY: Im gonna. PENNY: keep vandalizing stuff.

RILEY: ... -looks down a moment before looking back up at her- RILEY: can i join you?

PENNY: -wipes her eyes and looks at Riley- PENNY: how good are you at drawing vaginas?

RILEY: -she grins slowly- i happen to be a pro vagina artist. -cracks her knuckles-

PENNY: pretty sure I just figured out why were related.

RILEY: our vagina art skills?

PENNY: the one good common thread.

RILEY: fuck yeah. RILEY: -starts drawing on this bulletin board- so you never dyed your hair huh?

PENNY: some of that shitty temp dye.

PENNY: I tried to make it BLUE.

RILEY: that's-- man. that was setting yourself up to have anything but blue hair. RILEY: i did the shitty pink dye.

JEFF: =Please... stop drawing vaginas around his home..=

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 10

DAVENFORTH: -Does this university have a gym? It better. Well, Dave is in there. Not that you can see him, there's a heavy punching bag taking quite the abuse. There's flurries of hits, but their source can't be seen.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Watching this. He's here. He's maybe always been here. Crunches nacho slowly, loudly.=

DAVENFORTH: -When the fuck did you even get here-

DAVENFORTH: -Flashes in and kicks the bag, sending it flying into a wall. He lands, huffing, sweating.-

QIRIN: =she comes in eventually, sitting quietly on a bench with her hands open in her lap, watching Sonic the Hedgehog beat up a gremlin.=

HIGHBLOOD: =hands Qirin cheesy nacho chips= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -He hasn't noticed the audience yet, walking over and hoisting the bag up, placing it back on its rack.-

QIRIN: =....thanks. She nods and takes it, not wishing to be the one to disrupt the silence.=

HIGHBLOOD: =loudly crunches chip again=

DAVENFORTH: -Looks up. Oh. He gives a sup nod-

HIGHBLOOD: you tirin already brother, shit just got good =eats more chips and nods at him=

QIRIN: =waves gently. hi, she read the news.=

DAVENFORTH: Nah just didnt realize i had an audience

DAVENFORTH: -Rolls his shoulders and goes back to punching the bag, normally this time. He's putting a lot of effort behind these swings, the impacts very audible in the gym-

-----------

ERIDAN: -Somewhere in the first floor of the university science department, a fish troll has made his headquarters. The door of a lab is thrown open while music plays, if it could be called music. It was muffled and the signal was terribe with static. It was obviously a radio hotwired to pick up whatever far off-planet station that dared to air all the way to Earth. A small sign of life in the otherwise gloomy dark school hallways.- 

ERIDAN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=And-yo5jwko

ROXANNE: -Obviously if she was going to tour around anywhere to distract herself from the stress and danger it would be the science building. It would be like a blast from the past. When Roxanne had still been in school she spent all her time in her campus science department or observatory (good place to study, really quiet.) She walks aimlessly around the empty halls of the first floor peeking in through a window or two until the sound of shitty music gains her attention and she follows it until she is looking in through the open door to the lab.- 

ROXANNE: Huh. -Looks like they were re-purposing rooms.-

ERIDAN: -Repurposing the rooms in a manner of speaking. The tables were lined with Eridan's "meager" collection of assault weapons. Everything ranging from harpoon guns to muskets, photon, and of course, the standard automatic was laid out on display.- 

ERIDAN: -Eridan himself was half sprawled over the professor's desk, having fallen asleep over maps of the Washington battle grounds next to his honest-to-god duct taped radio hull. The source of the static music.- (zzzz)

ROXANNE: -What a hero, what a pro.- 

ROXANNE: -Maybe she should just let him sleep, but tickle her curious at just why he was napping in a slightly redecorated lab while leaving dangerous weaponry about.- ROXANNE: Hm. -She knocks on the frame of the doorway to see if that will wake him up.-

ERIDAN: -SNORTS AWAKE, hunting knife almost instantly in his hand. Maybe he fell asleep with it? He lifts his head to peer blearily around, glasses askew.- zzzuhfuck -Spots Roxanne at the door, eyebrows furrowing until he's giving a mighty stretch at the desk.- 

ERIDAN: oh dammit 

ERIDAN: justa human -yawns toothily, using the pointy end of the knife to scratch at the base of his horns.- wwhats the commotion

ROXANNE: -Yep just a human 8) - 

ROXANNE: -Briefly flinches when he wakes up with a knife of all things.- Jeez ya' expecting certain company with that tooth pick? ...horn pick?

ERIDAN: surprised you aint similar wwise givven your situation -The horn pick feels good actually.... he casually keeps sweeping the blunt end along the wwavvy shape of his horns. The amphibious insectoid that he is, totally half asleep.- 

ERIDAN: mess hall aint this wway if youre lookin

ROXANNE: Man I'd be real dumb if I was lookin' for a bite to eat. 

ROXANNE: Surprise Im here to steal the guns you left out on the table for absolutely basically anyone to come and get. -jabs a thumb at the arms display. Do you get her point.-

ERIDAN: -gives her this LOOK.- wwhat 

ERIDAN: do you think im sendin these folks out there empty handed 

ERIDAN: kinda presumptuous a you assumin im runnin that kinda operation here

ERIDAN: takin is wwhat theyre FOR

ROXANNE: Right right i get that, but no sign in sheet or nothin'?

ROXANNE: Dang its like you got no respect for 'em. -Steps all the way in and eyes the collection close up. Some of these are nice.-

ROXANNE: Also seems dangerous.

ERIDAN: yeah probably thats also in essence the point -rubbing his eyes under his glasses and then reaches under his desk. Time to pour himself a drink.-

ROXANNE: -Picks up the automatic and looks it over, is it in good condition?- ROXANNE: Then you run a risky armory.

ERIDAN: meh -Damn. He has no more cups. Just swings back this rock n rye flavored faygo with a grimace.- 

ERIDAN: -All the rifles are in good condition. It's one of the few things Eridan gives a shit about enough to invest and maintain.-

ERIDAN: run your owwn armory if you wwanna criticize

ROXANNE: If I had plans ta' stick around i might. We could have a whole competition, best arms dealer wins.

ROXANNE: -Puts down the automatic and picks up the harpoon gun, inspecting it in quite the same manner and then aiming it at the opposite wall. Her finger isnt on the trigger of course, but shes never shot one before and wanted to try holding it.-

ERIDAN: run me outta business fine 

ERIDAN: so long as the job gets done -The safety's on and it gleams sharply in the flourescent lighting. A deadly harpoon, especially in the right hands.-

ROXANNE: -Noice. Its got a good weight to it.- Those are the words of someone plannin' on losing. 

ROXANNE: -Turns her head to flash him a small smile.- But like i said not stickin' around to do your job for you.

ERIDAN: yeah -What he's agreeing to, it's not apparent. He's just chugging more faygo, eyes drooping heavily.- mmmmh

ERIDAN: ought to pick one you like or somethin

ROXANNE: Hm? 

ROXANNE: ....Are you just gonna' give me a gun? -How sleepy IS this guy.-

ERIDAN: -fingers are knotted into his hair as he gives himself a massage around the temples- ...fuckin 

ERIDAN: yes i am 

ERIDAN: it aint that goddamn complicated sometimes a request or a question is just simple 

ERIDAN: not wwarrantin the necessity to react like youre batshit insane 

ERIDAN: i already had to deal wwith one a you

ERIDAN: or else just drop it clearly attempts at generosity or concern at you humans just aint wworth it

ROXANNE: Sorry consider me a lil' hesitant around strangers lately. 

ROXANNE: Thanks for the offer though, ill take ya' up on it. -Shes putting down the harpoon gun and taking one of the automatics. sure the spear was cool, but this would be a lot more useful later.-

ERIDAN: -reaching under his desk again. This time pulling out a twinkie, peeling apart the wrapper.- least you got your senses about you -mutters.-

ROXANNE: -Tucks that gun away safe and sound in her sylladex now before turning to watch eridan snack.- 

ROXANNE: So... besides hand out guns an' chug shitty soda brands, what else do you get up to in here?

ERIDAN: i aint in here most instances 

ERIDAN: im out and about runnin the operation a course 

ERIDAN: the fuck else wwould i be 

ERIDAN: besides sittin square wwith my thumb up my ass

ERIDAN: dealin wwith local patrols and organizin scouts for supplies and shit a that nature

ROXANNE: -She shrugs.- 'Dunno what else you would have been doing thats why I asked. 

ROXANNE: -Did they get rid of any of the tech in this lab?-

ERIDAN: -grunts. Nah, they didn't. But they did disembowel the computers for various things. Mainly so they wouldn't be used.-

ROXANNE: -She doesnt care too much about them being gutted, she just wants to look at them. She takes a seat at one of the counter tops and fiddles with the ripped open technology.- Hah. Ya' know its kinda' nice to see that not too much has changed in the sense of the standard open to public campus computers.

ERIDAN: i wwouldnt fuckin knoww 

ERIDAN: i aint gone to no humanclad univversity

ROXANNE: You sure missed out then.

ROXANNE: Human uni. is where it is at.

ERIDAN: -just. Stuffs this whole twinkie in his mouth. Chews balefully.- sounds like its a baised drawwn conclusion but alright

ROXANNE: Oh it absolutely is but its also the damn truth. 

ROXANNE: You ever had a "Week of Welcome" wherever you studied?

ROXANNE: Its crazy let me tell you.

ERIDAN: -fixes her with a dubious frown.- a wweak of wwelcome sounds like the traditionalistic ritual of testin the constitution newwly ascended trolls 

ERIDAN: vvia drowwnin their heads in load gapers and seein if they resuscitate afterwwards

ERIDAN: guess humans got more spine to them than i thought initially

ROXANNE: ......Wowie. 

ROXANNE: Nah we didn't do any of that. 

ROXANNE: It was basically a week of clubs an' academic society groups tryin' to out-do each other with fun or dumb activities.

ROXANNE: You could pet like seven dogs by the library. 

ROXANNE: Or get free pizza or cup cakes for shaking a teachers hand.

ROXANNE: Although sometimes you got to pay $20 to smash a car with a sludge hammer but that was more often around finals.

ERIDAN: so 

ERIDAN: youre sayin there aint some kind of mutilation or murder plots invvolvved 

ERIDAN: not evven a little

ROXANNE: Not usually.

ERIDAN: evven the recreational shits got some bite to it 

ERIDAN: ...huh -sips faygo thoughtfully.-

ROXANNE: Yep. School is a place for petting dogs, makin' the grades, and getting sloshed on a thursday night when you know you have a 8am lecture hall.  

ERIDAN: suppose i relate on some level -hmphs, unimpressed.- 

ERIDAN: but nothin too solid

ROXANNE: Thats okay. Lets agree to leave it as a cultural difference I guess

ERIDAN: fairs fair -sloshes down the rest of this lukewarm faygo. Disgusting.-

ERIDAN: im eridan

ROXANNE: -If its so gross dont drink it.- 

ROXANNE: -She turns around on her stool.- Nice to meet ya'. 

ROXANNE: Im Roxanne.

ERIDAN: uh sure -He DOUBTS it's nice to meet him but accepts this introduction anyhow.- dunno if i ought to point it out or nothin ERIDAN: but you aint lookin like the battlefield type so ERIDAN: noww im wonderin wwhat the shit youre doin taggin along the assassination brigade for

ERIDAN: it aint exactly the equivvalent to pizza and pettin puppies or wwhatevver the fuck

ROXANNE: Ya' aint wrong there. 

ROXANNE: Its kind of a long story. But to summarize why I'm goin' along on this crazy shoot the duo president mission is to make sure the dad of my infant daughter doesnt get himself killed in the process. 

ROXANNE: Plus I got no weekend plans.

ERIDAN: -He understands these words individually and is trying to piece them together into something comprehensible.- so outta obligation to your mate aka the sire a your offspring

ROXANNE: Mmmm, not technically either of those things. 

ROXANNE: But close enough. 

ROXANNE: Derek is my ex, and we adopted a lil' girl while we were still together.

ERIDAN: so it wwas a beforan style cullin ritual 

ERIDAN: wwherein the twwo a you havve obligation ovver some helpless wward 

ERIDAN: all the wwhile ditchin wwhat i presume wwas a romantic entanglement 

ERIDAN: but its enough for you to pledge loyalty enough to head facefirst into the troll davvy jones locker of suicide missions for 

ERIDAN: ...

ERIDAN: wwho the hell is this guy anywway

ROXANNE: Bingo. 

ROXANNE: Derek Strider. You'd know him if you met him. 

ROXANNE: About yay tall -Gestures the height.- kinda' full of himself. 

ROXANNE: Triangle shades.

ERIDAN: oh 

ERIDAN: him 

ERIDAN: .... 

ERIDAN: i dont see it

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Dont see what? Him being a dad or the relationship?

ERIDAN: wwhy the shit hes wworth you dyin for 

ERIDAN: you aint even invvolvved anymore

ERIDAN: the risks real possible just FYI

ERIDAN: but on top of losin a dad your grubs riskin losin its mom too aint it 

ERIDAN: wway to fuckin go the both a you

ROXANNE: Yeah i know. 

ROXANNE: But hey if we both die then i dont have to tell my baby that her daddy died. -Yes, just smile the real truth away.-

ROXANNE: Nah but... caring about someone can make ya' do crazy shit.

ROXANNE: We may not be together anymore but it doesnt change the fact that I still love him in other ways.

ERIDAN: crazy shit like a plea for attention if i evver fuckin saww it 

ERIDAN: hey blowwhole look wwhat im puttin at risk for you 

ERIDAN: -snorts- bet he dont appreciate it none

ROXANNE: -Snrks.- Even if it was a cry for attention, 

ROXANNE: Which its not. 

ROXANNE: He might appreciate it at least a little.

ROXANNE: Or at least feel damn well guilty when its all over, haha.

ERIDAN: not appreciativve enough to vvalue your grubs livvelihood it dont look like ERIDAN: smfh wwhat do i knoww 

ERIDAN: just got a general sense a wwhat a guardians supposed to behavve to compare it to 

ERIDAN: and i wwas reared by a goddamn skyhorse scrod rest his fuckin soul

ROXANNE: Ya' probably know just about as much about proper parenting as me, to be honest. 

ROXANNE: Still workin' on that whole "Perfect suburban mom" deal.

ROXANNE: But he cares about her a lot. I think he just got his head dragged into this mission.

ROXANNE: Keep hoping he's gonna' snap out of it but maybe its his feelings from how hes about to have another baby with his wife that makes him feel like he needs to save the world.

ERIDAN: -grunts- i guess 

ERIDAN: still a fuckin shame says i 

ERIDAN: pitys gonna only go so far and in the ends its gotta be you and your owwn hide 

ERIDAN: the shit youre invvested in or wwhatever 

ERIDAN: wwardin the grub 

ERIDAN: cant be a bad thing 

ERIDAN: but youre wwastin your fuckin energy expectin anybody to change for you wwho aint done shit to try 

ERIDAN: except ask you to be there and vvalidate you feelin needed or wwhat not 

ERIDAN: makes the cycle addictivve -sighs out, staring off. Time to break out more faygos.-

ROXANNE: Well damn.

ROXANNE: This is some impromptu broken relationship advice or what.

ERIDAN: no -turns to her to deadpan.- its advvice on survvivin past tomorroww

ROXANNE: Oh i know im gonna'.

ERIDAN: the credits goin to you then 

ERIDAN: or him rather 

ERIDAN: hes the one in the front lines aint he 

ERIDAN: suspect much -asks it like a question. Suspect much??-

ROXANNE: Yeah he is. 

ROXANNE: But while derek has a big talk I also know he has the skills to back it up. 

ROXANNE: And I'm mostly tagging along to provide immediate cover for the kill group.

ERIDAN: right... -Sure Jan. He believes you.-

ROXANNE: What ya' dont believe i can do it?

ERIDAN: wwhats it matter wwhat i think 

ERIDAN: im the guy leavvin my wweaponry lyin strewwn about wwilly nilly

ROXANNE: ...... -Chuckles.- 

ROXANNE: Fair point.

ERIDAN: -slorps a new faygo. This one a grape flavored one.- 

ERIDAN: doesnt matter wwhat i say 

ERIDAN: its you and your time and wwho youre puttin it towwards 

ERIDAN: hope you get it back at the end of the day is all

ERIDAN: -says this because he's totally judging you, Rox.-

ROXANNE: -Seriously, How many sodas is this guy going to drink.- 

ROXANNE: -She shrugs. He is free to judge away, the plan is stupid and risky and she knows that by going into it she might die. But if there was anything she could do to help minimize the chance of any more casualties on this suicide run it would be worth it.- 

ROXANNE: Ya' know we've talked a lot about me, but what about you Eridan? 

ROXANNE: I could be wrong but ya' dont seem like the type to be visiting earth to get a load of our, albeit currently dying, culture. Is it the soda brands that caught your attention?

ERIDAN: the only thing wworth a damn to come outta earth if you ask me -snarks but it lacks bite. He just shrugs.- 

ERIDAN: just so happens i got a free wweekend too

ROXANNE: Aww really? Thats all you enjoy about it?

ERIDAN: you got decent pastries i guess -Don't aww at him...-

ROXANNE: Pastries and soda. 

ROXANNE: Well. Everyone's gotta have their favorites.

ERIDAN: sos you 

ERIDAN: it just so happens yours got pointshades

ROXANNE: -HRGH.- 

ROXANNE: Pft... Nah.

ERIDAN: youd die for it so 

ERIDAN: wwheres the fuckin lie tee bee ach

ROXANNE: I'm not going to die for him, because we're not going to die. 

ROXANNE: Also like I said before you can care about someone without them being your favorite.

ERIDAN: guess youre right 

ERIDAN: wwith that logic im layin my life on the line for a mime

ROXANNE: Is the mime your buddy?

ERIDAN: hell no 

ERIDAN: he dont evven like me and frankly i dont care for his foot wwear

ERIDAN: wwho am i kiddin 

ERIDAN: at least its consistant -just B/ at himself.-

ROXANNE: Pfft. 

ROXANNE: Hilarious. Well I havent met this mime but ill be keepin' an eye out for what shoes he's wearing.

ERIDAN: -lowkey fist clenching memes.- youll see it

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 7

PENNY: -She's been around the dorms for a while and now ended up in the cafeteria, some shitty beer in a cup. Why?? College kids is why.-

RILEY: -at some point she also goes to the cafeteria, and actually runs into penny. she's drinking something. riley misses alcohol. she looks at what's around the cafeteria before approaching her younger sister- hey.

PENNY: oh hey sup beautiful. 

PENNY: geddit. -points between their eyes with two fingers.- we have the same genes.

RILEY: that we do. -snorts, looking around again before back at penny- how's college life for you?

PENNY: -SIIPS.- you know I think Im winning at it. 

PENNY: closest Ive gotten before. -raises cup like a toast- 

PENNY: cheers to a lonely mediocre adulthood.

RILEY: same. fuck college, honestly. 

RILEY: trust me, you stick with us it won't be lonely or mediocre for long.

PENNY: itll be crowded and shitty instead. -SNORTS WAY TOO LOUD and starts laughing-

RILEY: it'll be something. that's all i can promise you. 

RILEY: -pauses- you're pretty good with a gun. dad ever teach you?

PENNY: pfff. -sip- 

PENNY:  Dad never kept a lock on it. I taught myself. -sniffs. She's trying to imagine her dad being around enough to teach her more. In her day, he drifted even further.-

RILEY: ha. sounds about right. all kinds of fucking safety hazaards in that house. -it's hard not to get sucked into the memories. the hard parts. the pain of it all. she's trying her damnedest to push it away-

PENNY: -stares at Riley for a long moment, just holding her cup- 

PENNY: ... you know you dont have to like. -waves her other hand around- relate to me or whatever. maybe you were there once but you have no idea what I went through. 

PENNY: you dont know what they were like after you left.

RILEY: it's not me having to relate to you it's... nevermind. 

RILEY: but you also don't know what they were like before i left. 

RILEY: you were just the tiniest ginger.

PENNY: yeah maybe. -looks off, shifting in the stupid cafeteria seat-

PENNY: who knows. maybe they were the same.

 PENNY: just a little different when theyre right in your face with it and the one person you think can get you out of it never shows up.

RILEY: -her expression softens- i uh. 

RILEY: i wanted to take you with me.

PENNY: and look at me now.

RILEY: oh, i am. i have been. 

RILEY: they tell you they kicked me out?

PENNY: -squints at her- why?

RILEY: -glances at the table- embarrassed mom i guess. 

RILEY: one of her friends saw me. uh. 

RILEY: -winces a little- with this guy who was a total dick but i was stupid, whatever. we were so fucking drunk. we didn't expect anyone to just fucking...show up there. but they did. so that lady called mom and i came home wasted and "oh no my daughter's a slut blah blah blah." mom lost her shit. dad threw me out. 

RILEY: mom had been telling everyone stuff about me that wasn't even close to fucking true. if i ever ran away, she would tell people about how i was specially chosen for some kind of made up conference because of my excellent grades and outstanding character. she got real elaborate, you know? 

RILEY: so when her friend got a taste of who i really was--everything mom already knew--her world just fell apart because how do you explain that when you've been telling everyone how AMAZING your child is and none of it is true?

PENNY: -she's quiet for a long moment, then sips again.-

 PENNY: and then you went off and made your own new family and forgot I ever existed. PENNY: no I get it. 

PENNY: you had to move on with your life. 

PENNY: so did I.

RILEY: no. -she shakes her head- that's not-- what happened at all. 

RILEY: -she sighs- if i could have taken you without not having anything to support you, kidnapping charges, or you bouncing around a foster care system then i would have. 

RILEY: nothing is that simple.

PENNY: yeah. I know. -taps the bottom of her cup against the table-

RILEY: -she exhales- i haven't spent most of my life with family. so i never did replace you or whatever you were implying. nothing was gonna replace you.

PENNY: fuck. -it's not very elucidating, but it's all she's managing right now.- PENNY: no. nope. I cant do this. -stands up- I tried and Im done. sorry everybody.

RILEY: well fuck, penny! i'm trying to be honest with you here--i'm not gonna feed you bullshit and say yeah, everything you think i did was exactly the way it happened!

PENNY: you dont-- 

PENNY: Im not doing this. Im not pulling my fucking guts out right now. Im not NEARLY fucked up enough.

RILEY: -exhales again in frustration, standing- you don't even-- -she stops herself, going over the things she's saying in her mind, and sits back down- just know i'm. not going anywhere.

PENNY: fuck... -she just threads fingers into her hair, standing there for a good ten seconds too long before turning and walking stiffly away-

RILEY: -when she walks away, she doesn't know why the hell she's trying this, humming at first where she is, maybe tearing up a little when she quietly sings- RILEY: is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? 

RILEY: that must be so confusing for a little girl. 

RILEY: and i know you're going to need me here with you. 

RILEY: but i'm losing myself and i'm afraid you're going to lose me too.

PENNY: -and now she stops, just shuddering silently where she stands. She doesn't know how to deal with this, either, and she's feeling increasingly more sick. A few beats later, she jogs to a trash can.-

RILEY: -maybe she remembers. it certainly seemed like it. But the hardest part is keeping herself from going after her. Penny needs space. she can't afford chasing her away and she's already pushed boundaries. so she will sit there for a long while, thinking and hoping and praying to something, anything that she sticks around with them. she gets up and goes over to wherever Derek is so they can head back. What a night-

[[ For those staying on campus if they wanted to meet the ones who made all of this possible then Jeff informed everyone that they would be making an appearance and introduce themselves. There was going to be a little meeting in the library. The space is large enough for everyone and there are tables and chairs and loads of BOOKS and also covered computers because we can't be using those now can we?]]

TAKODA: -his interest is definitely piqued... he's HERE to meet the person pulling the strings.- 

TAKODA: }:o

???: -Excuse fucking you. That's people pulling strings. The executives behind the puppeteering and okay. Maybe one of those people was charged with the physical labor of barricading the university but the HEIARCHY STILL STANDS.- 

???: -A whole mahogany desk from one of the dean's offices has been moved to the library, complete with the matching squishy chair in order to convey to all who's boss. A fish troll sits, reclined with his boots up. Dressed to the nines in dark colored militial swag-- vest, overcoat, belt. The works. All reflecting the violet status of his blood color and.... hairstreak?? He must be some kind of hipster.- 

???: -He's also drinking a lot of whatever this red beverage is. Could be punch. Whatever, it's in a glass with some ice.-

???: =Extra. Incredible. He's just dropping some files on the desk completely content with ruining all the.... whatever this dude has going on here. He's just stepping forward in the same thing he's been wearing this entire time. Shorts, tights, heeled boots, and a skeleton-esque top. His face paint less.... clowny and more mime-ish but it was a clown troll= 

???: =Gives Takoda a wave and friendly smile after dropping off the important documents in front of the show-boating seadweller. His lips are sewn shut so he won't be speaking any time soon but hello=

???: -slorrrrrrp. Fish troll leans forward to 👀 the docs. Definitely rifling through them. Let him see, mime.-

???: =Feel free to rifle. He's not stopping you, he's not even paying attention to you=

TAKODA: -suddenly getting vibes from his time on europa, glancing between these extravagent and eccentric highbloods.- 

TAKODA: -smiles a little lopsided as he smiles back and then shuffles over to them.- 

TAKODA: HELLO. 1 WAS TOLD THAT, 1 COULD MEET THE PERSON... PERSONS... WHO HELPED US, OUT OF A ST1CKY S1TUAT1ON?

JODIE: -PEEPING ON THIS FROM THE SHADOWS.-

JODIE:  👀

???: =Nods and waves a hand, signing at Takoda= [Mine and my associates efforts what made the stick unstuck. Myself am Kurloz. Humble pastor who hath stumbled upon these fertile lands most prosperous.]

???: -fixes Takoda with a hostile squint but that's just really the look of his face. He's just saying hi.- 

???: yeah and youll be fuckin glad wwe did nitram -Definitely speaking in some kind of douchey accent.- 

???: barrellin into frays like you aint knowwin the ups and dowwns of navvigatin through hostile territory 

???: just askin for a pike wwith your name on it seems like -Pouring himself more drink. As it turns out, it's cherry Faygo.-

???: aint my business though my aims at competance

TAKODA: -maryam glances between them- OKAAAAY. 

TAKODA: 1 GUESS, 1 NEVER REALLY WAS ONE FOR UH... HOST1LE S1TUAT1ONS, SUCH AS TH1S. 

TAKODA: BUT 1T ALL TURNED OUT ALR1GHT. SO, THANK YOU FOR THAT. 

TAKODA: WHOEVER YOU PEOPLE ARE, THOUGH YOU APPARENTLY KNOW WHO 1 AM?

JODIE: -Hmm. Should she be worried? She continues to snoop.-

???: course i knoww wwho you are -flicks a fin dimissively, settling back to brood in his chair like a grumpy supervillain.- cant be listed high in the univverses most wwanted lists wwithout some sorta correspondin infamy followwin the deed ???: luminary 

???: ironic wwhens there not much bright about you to start wwith looks like -scoffs.-

KURLOZ: =Is this another motherfucker whom don't know the language of the hands? He glances at the fishtroll and pats the files again, puffing up dust in the "villain"s grill. Files. Takoda. This is how=

???: -accepts the puffs of dust on him. He deserves this. Slorps more sodas.-

???: stitchmaww heres been real keen at meetin you ???: huge fan kinda pathetic -grumbles-

KURLOZ: =ur on the way to a fast nap my guy, but other than that completely ignores the fish and stares at Takoda.=

TAKODA: -honestly he should know sign language... he makes a note to learn it... it's good for his job.- 

TAKODA: OH, R1GHT... HAHA. 

TAKODA: -stares back at kurloz- A FAN?

???: thats real helpful a mime holdin a presentation -hhhheh hah. He's actually snorts into his glass.- mmmyep ???: number one fan

KURLOZ: =Opens one of the folders and leans on the desk with his back to the fish. Pulls out a printed report of the happenings in FLAVORTOWN. He knows they peeps are connected=

JODIE: -decides it's safe enough for now and cartwheels out of the shadows- hey.

JODIE: sorry if i'm interrupting any super secret negotiations. -she doesn't seem very sorry.-

???: aint secret if evveryones gone and been invvited -sets glass aside, letting Kurloz do the boring paperwork. Serves him right.-

KURLOZ: =Looks to the cartwheelingy human and shakes his head. She doesn't seem sorry but he also don't care if she doesn't seem sorry. None secrets here=

JODIE: -hup! perches on desk and extends her hand for a shake.- oh yeah? we're having an assembly? you got a projector stuffed in that coat? -glances around.-

JODIE: -actually she offers both hands. 2x shake combo.-

KURLOZ: =He's holding one (1) whole paper, so his hands are pretty much tied. Gestures to Eridan. He's so social. Eridan should make friendly with her. He's so good at that=

JODIE: -it's okay Kurloz, you can have a fist bump instead. she gently taps your knuckles.-

???: ... -kinda awkwardly nudges at her hand?? As a form of greeting.- ???: eridan ampora

JODIE: -CAN'T HELP BUT GRIN AT THAT. WOW.-

JODIE: hehehhe. well, i don't have a title like hunkalicious over there i'm just jodie the human.

TAKODA: }:)

ERIDAN: -sitting there, squinting with more suspicion.- right 

ERIDAN: ... (wwho the fuck is--) 

ERIDAN: oh -Eyes set on Takoda for a second. The muscles, really but whatever. He turns in his chair.- 

ERIDAN: guess so

JODIE: -yes you, hunkalicious.-

KURLOZ: =They can all agree, he is hunky=

JODIE: -yeh ERIDAN get on board.-

TAKODA: -he knows he's hunky. they should all be able to agree.-

ERIDAN: -he gives him a 6. Maybe a 7. He's not very sharp for intrigue in Eridan's opinion.-

JODIE: -YOUR RATING SYSTEM IS HIGHLY FLAWED, JODIE THINKS.- so any hints what the presentation will be about?

JODIE: modern television has made me a little nervous about public gatherings.

KURLOZ: =shows Jodie a picture of the two presidential candidates. He also has a folder of davenforth's prodding tweets. This is what this is about=

JODIE: -She studies the pic and SIIIGHS a little- oh, that.

JODIE hmph. well if you ask me we could use all the help we can get.

KURLOZ: 👍

JODIE: who knows maybe you'll pull a trump card out of your sleeve that gives us a snow ball's chance in hell of survivng. -she doesn't sound very hopeful. also TRUMP CARD. get it TRUMP card. presidents. they won't get it.-

ERIDAN: look its all to do wwith the public acts a defiance the other portion of your group wwent and committed themselves at 

ERIDAN: regardin flavvortowwn 

ERIDAN: alla that rebellious flare has got the circus excuse for a govvernment up in arms about headin these types a threats 

ERIDAN: so wwhat youre tryin at just got a hellava lot harder to execute 

ERIDAN: and i do mean execute should they get their hands on you

JODIE: yeah yeah i got it.

KURLOZ: =Nods, bouncing all them curls. That's what he's here for. To give them the chance of getting close, let alone surviving. Takes a step back and gestures to the folders again. Holding up the map to Eridan's face. The ones with all the blocked routes. Tell them the thing=

ERIDAN: -ghhh. His eyesight's not THAT bad. Christ.- 

ERIDAN: -snatches the map up.-

JODIE: i don't think any of us have illusions about what the consequences are....well at least i don't. you might want to emphasize that for the boys when they turn up.

JODIE: not that it'll make a difference.

JODIE: -where's her cigarettes. she wants one again.-

JODIE: -oooh, what's this. she peeps on the map.-

ERIDAN: you gone and done the human thing and elected a leader a your group or nah -looking over the map- sounds like a spell for trouble if you ask me ERIDAN: by the by these wwill be your blocked passagewways to the capital ERIDAN: im talkin shitloads of patrols navvigatin the land sky and wwaterfronts

ERIDAN: puttin this shit in perspectivve wwhere the lot of us can see it -sets map onto table.-

TAKODA: -looks into the camera for the first part of that-

JODIE: as for the leader thing, i don't know. it's sure as hell not me though. -SORRY GUYS, SHE'S SMOKING INSIDE. this is stressing her out already.-

TAKODA: TH1S W1LL BE HELPFUL, YES. -peeps at the maps-

KURLOZ: =Holds up one finger, hold up. Know what is also useful? He unfolds blueprints to the WhiteHouse lawn with booths and "attractions" marked on it. This is also something they'll need. Kurloz draws a cresent moon on the WhiteHouse map. Night time Fight time.=

ERIDAN: -This one speaks for itself.- hope youre gettin alla this 

ERIDAN: stitchmawws the type to only say it once

JODIE: -glances at takoda- he's got it. and if he doesn't got it well i'll pick up the scraps.

QIRIN: =She is a little tardy due to sleeping in forever - she hadn't realized how much sleep she wasn't actually getting - but her appearance suggests otherwise. She's prepped and ready for a brand new day!= 

QIRIN: =She's here now, that's what matters. Qirin walked up to the gathered (and partially familiar) group, joining them. Sup yall.=

ERIDAN: -Oooooo, what the Dersite monarchy would give to know Eridan's been in the same room as the White Queen. THIS IS SO SATISFYING.-

ERIDAN: -he's so squinty eyed and pleased about this.-

TAKODA: -is she speaking for him? that's fine... he only side eyes her a little- 1 CAN KEEP THESE, R1GHT?

KURLOZ: =Already eyeing Eridan. Don't even. But he nods to Takoda=

ERIDAN: -He wasn't going to say anything, jeez. Stop projecting intents.-

KURLOZ: =He can. But he won't.=

QIRIN: =not wishing to place a break in the conversation, she nodded at Kurloz and Eridan, acknowledging them, before drawing her eyes across the map. Hm....battleplans...=

ERIDAN: figurin wwe may as wwell collaberate in missions of equal standin 

ERIDAN: the uus gotta be knowwn best for nothin else in fact

LIFERA: -SPEAKING OF FORMER QUEENS...- 

LIFERA: -She's not far behind Qirin. They might have even come in together. Maybe with some agreement to make Davenforth sleep some more in favor of grabbing necessary info themselves. This guy is sort of dumb about not taking care of himself.-

ERIDAN: -chokes on his drink a little bit and ends up swallowing a particularly large airbubble.- ................ -wheeze-

KURLOZ: =Oh. Was he not aware. Vague catknifing=

ERIDAN: -Well yes but also nO.- 

ERIDAN: -now he has cherry soda on his front.-

LIFERA: -SHE GRACIOUSLY SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THIS. Just taking a seat with the other adults.-

KURLOZ: = pathetic=

ERIDAN: -He's going to die.-

KURLOZ: =He can only hope bro=

ERIDAN: -fuck your hopes, bro. He's living out of spite now.- 

ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: i forgot wwhat i wwas sayin

LIFERA: Something about CORALABORATION?

KURLOZ: = 🙄 @ eridan, useless. =

ERIDAN: right 

ERIDAN: helpin achievve similar wwise goals and such 

ERIDAN: the text book definition of the stuff -Thrown out of sorts and whaps his front.- fuck 

ERIDAN: wwhat the shits this soda stuff made outta

KURLOZ: =the dryest of stares. Can you be stupid later?=

ERIDAN: -Waht??? He feels STICKY.-

LIFERA: I'm curious. W)(-ER-E are the both of you from? And why the finterest in assisting us?

QIRIN: ^_^ 

QIRIN: Excellent question.

LIFERA: Shorely this would not be easier for you.

KURLOZ: =Gestures out of the window towards the Chapel. He's a holy man. And this?? Gestures to clown presidents. This? Really?? No, no. =

LIFERA: You disagree with the -EX-ECUTIV-E C)(OIC-ES?

KURLOZ: =He thinks on that.... taps his chin. Shrugs and nods slowly. Simply put and as far as he'll go into it yeah sure.=

ERIDAN: -averts eyes at being asked a question by an empress. An ex-empress but still. He sure feels stupid regardless and follows Kurloz's gesture outside.- in essence ERIDAN: lotsa shit wwould be easier but it aint 

ERIDAN: go hard or fuck off the oxygen supply is the muck up of it from my end

LIFERA: Like what?

LIFERA: A violet in the CURR-ENT reign doesn't seem to me like he would be faced with too many difficulties.

QIRIN: =yeouch lifera....she was wondering the same, honestly.=

ERIDAN: dunno could be right 

ERIDAN: but then theres submittin to the likes of an empress wwhod sooner moww dowwn good loyal trolls for a laugh before anythin resemblin honor 

ERIDAN: -broodingly rocks in chair.- but it aint much of a story so wwhatevver im here noww

LIFERA: )(m. -stares at him for a very long moment, CONCHSIDERING-

ERIDAN: -Well if she's staring, she's gotta know and see that DESPITE the way he's dressed, Eridan is young. Barely capping into his ninth sweep. Also he is shifting uncomfortably under her stare. Lots of things to study about him.-

LIFERA: -Young. He's probably not that good of an actor, not yet. Or maybe that's the convenience of the ruse, but he does seem genuinely awkward and wounded, and that's not a trait she sees often even in good actors.- 

LIFERA: Maybe you're not so loyal to her anymoor. But why help us? Revenge? Or is whatebber you did so bad that you have nothing else to LOS-E?

ERIDAN: besides meetin a cullfork your highness no -chugs the rest of his drink down.- nothin else

QIRIN: =she is also scruitinizing him in her own way. The way he's shifting allows her to see that despite his air of confidence, he is nervous. Perhaps by being asked too much of his past? Or that he is in the presence of two ex-queens. He'll get used to the latter, eventually.= 

QIRIN: Of course. 

QIRIN: Was the sharp end of a cullfork the only thing to sway your loyalty? 

QIRIN: It has been a couple years since the crewmembers of the Union were accused of treason. I am sure our faces are everywhere. Word travels easily when spreading discord. 

QIRIN: How can we assure the safety of the rest of the crew with our bounties so high? 

QIRIN: What we need-- What we require is assurance. Forgive me for saying, but tell us... =Her eyes went from Erdan to Kurloz, addressing borth= How can you assure us that you are allies?

KURLOZ: =Holds up his hand and shakes his head. Nothing can be done to immediately gain trust=

LIFERA: Glub. 

LIFERA: -stands up from her seat, nearing the desk- I have a porpoisition that might be agreeable.

ERIDAN: -continues being broody. Not making eye contact with these here royals.- mmgh 

ERIDAN: wwhats that

LIFERA: If the two of you come with us, and help us execute these plans... LIFERA: In whatebber role we sea fit to give you. 

LIFERA: I think that shoald help BASSUAG-E any doubt.

ERIDAN: i knoww wwhat the hell im good at 

ERIDAN: but 

ERIDAN: fine 

ERIDAN: if it wwavves off the trouts your conchiness -says it, meaning for it to come off as sarcatic but really, he just sounds like a bratty youth. Good old Eridan.-

QIRIN: ^_^ =u wee shit=

LIFERA: 38) 

LIFERA: -EXS)(-ELL-ENT. 

LIFERA: And what do you say? -looks at Kurloz-

ERIDAN: he says nothin he agrees obvviously look at him

KURLOZ: =He puts up a folder to Eridan's face, holding it like a hand model but blocks him out. The adults are talking. Shut up. Sighs and shrugs oh.... he supposes... if only he couldn't stayed in this university forever....=

KURLOZ: =OH WELL.=

QIRIN: =keeping the straightest face=

ERIDAN: -he is heavily considering biting the shit out of this hand.-

QIRIN: =inside, she's laughing her head off=

ERIDAN: see i told you

KURLOZ: =Remember that nap? Still a possibility man=

LIFERA: V-ERY W-ELL. 

LIFERA: -glances at the rest of the peeps there- Are we in agreeance?

ERIDAN: -just sitting there with his fingers tented like B[ -

QIRIN: It is a good plan in accordance to our level of advantage here. =Which is almost none, but she'll take it=

QIRIN: I agree. =She turned to others for their answers=

RILEY: -despite sleeping in an actual bed last night, her quality of sleep was not amazing. last night was eventful, ending with too much stress and trying to get comfortable and a lot of staring up at the ceiling. she's been in the room all day, so she decides to go to the cafeteria. she doesn't need to eat right now, but it's nice to not be traveling, so she's taking advantage of it-

ROXANNE: -She had the same exact idea about 20 minutes ago, and is sitting at one of the tables with a mug of tea that is starting to border on turning lukewarm. Her phone is off to the right, after she had made herself stop checking for any sort of update from the others.-

ROXANNE: -She glances up from her drink just in time to see Riley entering.- ROXANNE: -Should she... Invite her over?-

RILEY: -she walks in and meets roxanne's gaze. she smiles tiredly and kind of stops where she is. should she...go over?-

ROXANNE: -They have a small staring contest before Roxanne settles on bringing an equally trying smile before waving her over.-

RILEY: -OH OK. she goes over to roxanne's table and takes a seat across from her- hey.

ROXANNE: Hey yourself. 

ROXANNE: -Drops her gaze to stir her tea.- How are ya'.

RILEY: as good as i can be i guess. what about you? what are you doing in here?

ROXANNE: Well, it's a cafeteria so I should probably be eatin' but instead I'm just takin' up a seat because I can. 

ROXANNE: Ya' here to do the same or are you going to eat?

RILEY: makes sense. and nah, i'm doing the same. had to get out of my room at least once today.

ROXANNE: -Small chuckle.- A reasonable goal.

RILEY: -she laughs a little too before quieting.- you hear from rose or roxy?

ROXANNE: -Her mood drops and she shakes her head.- I haven't heard from Rose since she last posted on the group server. And never once from Roxy. ROXANNE: What 'bout you with Dave and Dirk?

RILEY: -she smiles empathetically- dirk's been good about posting, but no one from dave's group has said anything. -she frowns- so. haha. that's worrying.

ROXANNE: Yeah... 

ROXANNE: -She takes a quiet deep breath.- I'm sure they are okay. Or at least that's what I keep tellin' myself to stay positive. 

ROXANNE: Our kids are real strong and resourceful.

RILEY: makes you regret a lot of stuff. and kind of...overanalyze things you did. when you don't have any clue if they're safe or not. -sighs- but you're right. they're pretty amazing.

ROXANNE: Ain't that the truth. ROXANNE: Not that I have much to analyze in the first place. In fact I think I'd rather wish I had more times where I questioned my parenting or raising of the both of them.

RILEY: yeah. i get that. i wish i had that too. but hey. maybe with this one i'll be more of a decent parent. anything should be a step up.

ROXANNE: -She nods.- Ya probably will. Growin up helps a bunch. ROXANNE: I think I'm doin'.... Okay with russet. Got plenty of help though and so will you.

RILEY: you're great with russet. if i could be half as good as you are, i'd be okay.  

ROXANNE: Heh, well, I'm sure ya' are gonna' be.

RILEY: thanks. -doesn't look like she believes it exactly- hey, have you seen penny at all today?

ROXANNE: Penny? Oh, nah I haven't. 

ROXANNE: she's your sister right? Penny? -Not that she knows much else about her.-

RILEY: -she nods- yeah. yeah she is.

ROXANNE: You guys secretly close or is it usually like it is between you from what I've seen? -Maybe she's digging a bit too deep, but hey anything to get off the topic of kids.-

RILEY: -pffts- no. haven't seen or spoken to each other in what...17 years? last time i saw here she was 3. i was 18.

ROXANNE: Oh wow. ROXANNE: Hah, that's not to different from me and Ruth I guess. Except a bigger age gap.

RILEY: how far apart are you two?

ROXANNE: Only about three years.

RILEY: oh. yeah. i mean. it doesn't feel like that much of an age difference now? things would have been different if we were born closer together. i know that much.

ROXANNE: Ya' think so? -Hmm, she thinks for a moment.- 

ROXANNE: If me an'Ruth were born that far apart I think we'd probably be in the same boat we are now. If any boat at all.

RILEY: i know so. even if we were ten years apart. by the time i got kicked out...i don't know. we could work together trying to see each other.

RILEY: but when she's just an innocent little girl...it's different.

RILEY: she would grow up believing everything our parents said about me. that would be her truth.

ROXANNE: -Her brows raise.- Ya'got kicked out?

RILEY: uh huh. i think i...would have stayed for her.

ROXANNE: Oh yeah? 

ROXANNE: Gotta' say thats pretty noble of you.

RILEY: can't take credit for what i would have done given another circumstance. -she shrugs- sentiment doesn't matter now.

ROXANNE: Mm. I think it does. Even the thought counts for somethin'. 

ROXANNE: Didn't sound like leavin' was much of your own choice anyways.

RILEY: it doesn't help our relationship, though. you know?

ROXANNE: -She shrugs.- 

ROXANNE: Maybe, maybe not.

RILEY: just watch, i guess. you'll see. 

RILEY: still gonna, try, though. it sounds like she's all alone.

ROXANNE: Thats what counts in the end, keep tryin'. 

ROXANNE: Even if she is bein' stubborn about the whole thing. And hey, if this isnt one hell of a bonding journey then what is, am i right?

RILEY: -she smiles a little- yeah. you got that right. i just hope she's not already gone.

ROXANNE: Well, I dont know her well but doesnt family got that whole dumb bond going on? 

ROXANNE: I think there is always room for gettin' over stuff. like the few times ive seen Ruth we've been working on resurrecting the near extinct relationship we have. Its been goin' okay.

RILEY: not...necessarily. it's not that easy. even still me and dave are still...working through things. -will they ever be able to get where they need to be is the question-

ROXANNE: -Thats the biggest question ever.- 

ROXANNE: Mmm, yeah not sayin' its going to be easy. 

ROXANNE: But you've got to keep trying right?

RILEY: of course. can't let penny get away. haha. -pauses- she would probably like you a lot. and the more connections to people she has that aren't me the better. gives her more reason to hang around. would you mind talking to her? just having a conversation with her or something.

ROXANNE: Oh. 

ROXANNE: Yeah i could probably do that. We can do the stereotypical bonding over being the lil'sister haha.

RILEY: yeah, maybe! 

RILEY: thanks. i...appreciate it. i want to keep on eye on her now that we're in the same place.

ROXANNE: Sure thing no problem. 

ROXANNE: Heres hopin' she and I hit it off then. -Gives Riley a thumbs up. Wow, look how nice they are being to each other. Is this what personal growth feels like?-

RILEY: i'm rooting for you guys. -she smiles at her. wow. this feels. like they're friends.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 6

[[The road has been silent as it always was. The evening dying down into a nice little chill. The only good thing about all these roadblocks and heightened security around DC is that they get to take backroads and routes through small towns which gives them some time to gas up and get supplies and food as they go.The security had been tightened a bit after the incident in FoodTown, and they tended to avoid other vehicles which they saw more and more of the closer they got. Eventually they had been re-routed as far as Baltimore. Keeping their eyes peeled for headlights on the horizon which would be a sign for them to pull over and try to be inconspicuous.]]

TAKODA: -the evening seems pretty quiet so far... maybe they'll make it through DC soon... they can only hope. at this point there's no avoiding the whole assassination plan. the flavortown debacle has the bros extra riled, and what with davenforth calling the presidents out as he is... if they don't make a move then someone on the other side will. maybe? that's probably pessimistic!-

HIGHBLOOD: =Might be. But either way he's still in the back. Sitting up against a wall. Praying, meditating. Messiahs give him strength=

RILEY: -I ain't get no sleep cuz of y'all-

ROXANNE: -Shes been switching between watching out the window on the bus and watching Typhon do whatever it was that he was doing.-

DEREK: -SOMEHOW manages to nap despite being rowdy. slumped in a seat with his cap hiding his face. zzzz.-

RILEY: -I HOPE YOURE HAVING FUN SLEEPING-

DEREK: -dreamin' about puppets. it's a good time.-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's just still. Mediating with his hands all folded up. He is also holding a bike horn..... gd clowns=

MAYOR: -every stack of thing he tries to build falls over from bumps in the road. NEEDLESS TO SAY HE FINDS THIS AGITATING. He's drawing (poor) diagrams of automobile shock absorbers and suspensions on the windows, floors, and chairs in chalk.-

ROXANNE: -Peeps at the Mayor's work too.-

ROXANNE: Hm...not a bad idea.

MAYOR: -jitters. yes. why would you ever have a car you couldn't build a Pyramid of Things inside of?-

QIRIN: =She has been sleeping when she can, and right now she can't, whether it's the potholes in the road or uncertainty she's going to wake up with a pie in her face or her hand in warm water.=

[[Passing under another street light if Takoda looks in the rear-view he... sees something when it goes under the light. It’s shiny with spots of white?.... Hm. It doesn’t look like good news at all or maybe he’s being paranoid. But the moments passed as they move from under the street lights. The night is still quiet so. You know. Could just be nerves.]]

ROXANNE: -An excellent point mr. Mayor.-

TAKODA: -jitters a little at the strange sight, fleeting as it is- ... ER... TAKODA: -ignores it for now.-

PENNY: -She's bored, withdrawing, and irritated. She's been stuck on a bus with Riley so long that now she actually seems it appropriate to start a conversation with her, plopping down in the adjacent seat.-

PENNY: so hes the baby daddy? -nods at the napping Derek.-

RILEY: -completely surprised that penny's doing this. But she's not going to take it for granted.- yeah. that's him. The other guy's his twin brother.

ROXANNE: -Shes not trying to eavesdrop, but snrks at the question penny asks.-

PENNY: seems like a happy little family. PENNY: why the hell did you come here?

DAVENFORTH: -He's awake, quietly observing things-

RILEY: well... kind of a long story. our sons hunted me down. came for the holidays. got stuck so long i decided to stay.

[[Davenforth’s phone goes off. It’s a twitter alert which I’m sure there are and I don’t know how twitter works. Anyhow it’s a tweet from you're very own elected officials.

DaPrezidanks: @Davenforth 👎 ]]

[[FLASH. There it is.... A pile of bodies folded and stacked on top of each other but crouched low to be aerodynamic. The bodies appear to be covered with glimmering spandex leotards with white masks covering their faces. Soulless, black plastic covering their eyeholes..... The ones at the bottom peddle inhumanly fast on unicycles. Oh no. Acrobats.]]

PENNY: more kids??

QIRIN: =squinting out of the window= Oh my word.

DAVENFORTH: Pfffft weak ass tweet

RILEY: yeah, we have two adult sons too--what the fuck.

TAKODA: ...UHHH...

TAKODA: 1 DON'T MEAN TO ALARM YOU GUYS BUT-- UM... TAKODA: YES, "OH MY WORD" EXPRESSES MY OWN FEEL1NGS, EXACTLY. ABOUT US BE1NG FOLLOWED BY WHAT'S APPARENTLY-- ACROBATS...?

ROXANNE: -At Qirins and Takoda's announcements Roxanne is seat hopping closer to the carapacian to look out and- .....Oh jeez.

DAVENFORTH: What are you talkin about

QIRIN: How are they keeping up with our means of transportation?

MAYOR: -SHAKES HIS FIST AT THEM-

[[Here they come, not even jostled by all the bumps in the road. They’re catching up to the party bus as we speak. Spreading their formation wider and wider... then breaking into two squads. Arms out for show and applause]]

ROXANNE: Freakin' circus magic or some shit.

QIRIN: =Turns Davenforth around to face the window they're staring out of=

[[PLEASE APPLAUD THE PERFORMERS]]

ROXANNE: -APPLAUD YOURSELVES.-

DAVENFORTH: You gotta be shittin me

RILEY: -gives penny a very tired and confused look- oh jesus christ.

MAYOR: -HE FRANKLY DOES NOT APPROVE AT ALL-

[[The two squads are forming what looks like.... human catapults.... FLING there goes two into the air then disappearing to land on top of the bus. Tumbling on the roof. Light on their feet, bendy inthe joint. Listen to them gracefully tumble. Thump, whump, ba-du-dump]]

ROXANNE: !! -Looks up at the ceiling of the bus at the thumps.-

ROXANNE: Shit!

MAYOR: -FALLS OVER-

DAVENFORTH: -Suddenly a pistol in each hand. He's already pointing one at the roof trying to pinpoint locations by the thumps-

DEREK: -RATTLES AWAKE- Bwa???

DAVENFORTH: Might wanna cover your ears guys

[[There are a lot as they are throwing MORE performers]]

PENNY: HA.

RILEY: TOO MUCH FUCKING CIRCUS SHIT.

QIRIN: Now Dave, that shall only puncture the bus full of unnecessary holes.

PENNY: COME ON IN DOUCHEBAGS.

ROXANNE: -Her rifle is making an appearance as well but shes keeping the safety on, its not a great in close distance. But it sure as hell is better then nothing.-

PENNY: -whips out... A GUN.-

TAKODA: AAHHH?? -can't cover his ears }:( but he does try to speed up, maybe they'll fall off?? he can only hope.- AAAAHH.

ROXANNE: Yo, can we not try and antagonize the mobile freakshow maybe?

QIRIN: =Are all of you Americans???=

ROXANNE: -Absolutely.-

DEREK: -also we're all from texas-

RILEY: -puts her hands on her stomach even though it might not make a difference. Ryan'll hear it anyway- well damn. okay. shit.

DEREK: -most of us-

RILEY: -YEEHAW-

DAVENFORTH: Im gonna put some holes in them -His finger is hesitating. He's not firing yet.-

ROXANNE: -Nah, shes a newyorker.-

[[YA HESITATED. One swings into the window and rolls about on the floor like a WHEEL. Kicking the nearest person in the face as they spring up and another is thrown in. Sorry about the face Roxanne but there is canned applause playing from.... Nowhere. BEAUTIFUL. GRACEFUL. AMAZING.]]

ROXANNE: Just keep aim up if you-- -DOOF. She stumbles back from the sudden clown kick. See this is exactly WHY we keep the safety on, so we dont acidently shoot anyone when we fall on our butts.-

PENNY: -YOU CARTWHEELED INTO THE WRONG PARTY BUS!! She tries to fire at one of the invading acrobats.-

[[A gun. On a bus. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?]]

RILEY: -she wasn't going to but now seems like a necessary time to get out her own gun...because she too...is a Texan... BUT THAT NOISE IS SO LOUD-

MAYOR: -he is being very helpful and supportive as he basically just bounces around the bus like a -

MAYOR: -thing that rattles inside of another thing-

ROXANNE: -Well shes getting back up real quick, ignoring the split lip and trying to drive the butt of her gun into the face of the acrobat that kicked her.-

QIRIN: =a rock in a tin can?=

QIRIN: =Because that's what we are right now=

MAYOR: -LETS GO WITH THAT-

DEREK: -everyone's got their gd guns out, someone is gonna get shot and odds are slightly stacked against them... probably not a good idea to bust out the close quarters fighting moves if they're shooting at their targets so he hangs back to defend the wife.- DEREK: Yo damn how long have you had that on you? -HE HASN'T SEEN HER USE THAT BEFORE. he's kind of amused.-

[[The acrobat ROXANNE butted her gun at bends over into a bridge. Another acrobat uses them as a vault to kick her in the stomach. Sadly for the acrobat Penny was aiming at she shot them and they roll to the side. The crowd BOOS her. BOO PENNY]] [[Here comes one through the passenger window. They would like the wheel please. PUNCHES for Takoda]]

QIRIN: =The only thing she has that really resembles anything pew pew are her throwing knives=

RILEY: -that's because she hasn't needed to use it- like twenty something years? never know what shit's gonna go down. -staying alert- oh fucking fuck.

ROXANNE: -She grunts but takes the kick like a champ this time since she was better expecting it. She staggers further back in the bus but if that clown comes closer its getting the same treatment as the last one. Get CLOCKED in the FACE.-

ROXANNE: -Its the best she can do because she isnt going to fire any bullets in here.-

TAKODA: AAAHHH! -more screaming at the acrobat coming at him, he takes the hit, swerves a little, then WHIPS his head back at them to try and knock them with his horns.- YOU STOP THAT!

ROXANNE: -Shes grabbing a seat for balance at the swerve.-

QIRIN: =sprints to the front and just...= QIRIN: =presses her entire palm against the acrobat's face, trying to shove them back out.=

[[While one fights Takoda if someone looks out the window they can see MORE acrobats in giant hamster balls. Cartwheeling WILDLY along the side. Some acrobat bends in from the window and tries to grab Derek to take him OUTSIDE]]

RILEY: -almost loses her balance but sees that acrobat and attempts to shoot IT before it can take Derek.-

[[The acrobat QIRIN strikes against gets a horn then a palm. But they make no sound, instead jumping their butt back onto the dashboard and spreadeagle kicks both Takoda and Qirin. The crowd CHEERS]]

DEREK: SHIT. -half grabbed, half got a BANG ringing in his ear-

RILEY: -SORRY BABE LOVE U-

PENNY: -she just shot a person... WHAT ELSE IS NEW. She decides to crouch down and look for the Mayor. WHATS THIS CRAZY GUY UP TO??-

QIRIN: =Spreadeagled plop right on the ground=

[[As for Roxanne there are two more clowns coming for you doing splits and flips and just.... Other unnecessary things.. Also Penny don’t look too hard for the mayor there’s an acrobat under a seat. Gonna KICK YA. Riley shoots the acrobat... in the shoulder. Also Derek they smell like jockstraps. Enjoy but the grip is weakened.]]

MAYOR: -it almost seems like he got lost in the shuffle?! U BETTER DEAL WITH THAT CLOWN FIRST-

PENNY: -OOF.- DICK?? -dives under the seat after them. SHE WILL FIGHT-

TAKODA: -DOOF. he's swerving again. that's just the way it's gotta be, but he's at least not so disoriented he forgets to hit the breaks as they careen off the road and into the wilderness to the side. they manage NOT to crash, but takoda will have to stop to defend himself.-

ROXANNE: -Why do they have to be so fancy about kicking their asses. Shes not backing up anymore, and is now aiming her gun at them as a threat. She really doesnt want to have to fire this thing in here but clearly using it as a club isnt working.-

[[They like the mayor... but he will also be getting the business. An acrobat is bent with it's head between its legs. Arms forward. C'MERE MAYOR]]

MAYOR: -NO-

MAYOR: -he is bouncing-

MAYOR: -here and there and EVERYWHERE-

DEREK: -tries the old HEAD BUTT on this smelly jerk grabbing him-

RILEY: -her balance is off already thanks to being pregnant, so that swerve makes her fall into a seat, just barely catching herself-

[[The seat is their battle ground Penny. The acrobat sneks between support bars to grab her gun wrist. Bending from around the seat to kick her in the face. APPLAUSE. Roxanne is also going to have to make good on that promise becase here comes one, leaping like a graceful spider monkey off a tumbling ally to chokehold her with its thigh]]

QIRIN: =she's stumbling to her feet again, trying to help Takoda out if he needs it!=

[[DOOF. The headbutt connects. The crowd BOOS Derek. BOO]]

[[But he's free]]

ROXANNE: -Her promise rings true when she reaims the shot at the acrobat sailing towards her and pulls the trigger. BANG-

RILEY: -aims for the acrobat kicking her little sister and SHOOTS now that she's right side up.-

QIRIN: I certainly hope this is not their bus and they are attempting to reclaim it.

DEREK: -FUCK ALL YALL. he's back to riley, just in time for more gun shots in his ear. but its fine. ITS

FINE

RILEY. he's just here to keep her upright and keep everyone off her. also, away from the windows. guides her gently towards the middle of the bus.-

DAVENFORTH: -Casually trying to kick motherfuckers out windows despite still dual wielding pistols.-

[[Both Roxanne and Riley shoot acrobats dead.... Dead dead. But the bodies inflate in their leotards. And keep inflating. The crowd gasps!! And BOOM. They explode into confettis. And also flashbang your eyes.]]

[[Davenforth doesn't get the flashbang. BUT HE GETS BOO'D]]

[[BOOOO]]

ROXANNE: -AGUH WHAT THE FUCK!-

RILEY: -what a team. She manages to get to the middle of the bus with him, looking, searching for any next threat--and....she crouches at the bang. ITS TOO BRIGHT AND LOUD-

ROXANNE: -Quickly goes to shield her eyes, its spots everywhere.- God dammit!

[[The woods lead to a construction area for Takoda. He’ll have to be careful unless he wants to crash it.... Say..... into that giant pile of sand and gravel. That’s RIGHT THERE RIGHT NO, because it’s night time and the dark is unforgiving. Hopefully he isn't blinded like everyone else!]]

QIRIN: x_x

QIRIN: =whatever she just witnessed, the flashbang was surely the follow up purge=

DAVENFORTH: What the fuck -Dodging and kicking at weird fucks-

TAKODA: -winces. yep, impossible to avoid this collision, but he's slowed down enough that he doesn't get fucked up when he crashes.- HRK. -jostled, tho.-

MAYOR: -THAT RATTLES HIM EVEN MORE!!! HOLY HECK-

RILEY: -From crouching, she falls backward at that jolt-

ROXANNE: -Half blind and rattled when they hit, She clings to another seat cushion to avoid being gently tossed any further.-

[[There are more FLASHBANGS AND BOOMS from acrobats biting it at the collision]]

QIRIN: =Slides all the way to the front of the bus. As gracefully as one can in a crash.=

DEREK: -HOLDS RILEY. he doesn't let her fall, because luckily he is graceful like a swan.-

RILEY: -thanks babe-

RILEY: -babe swan-

DAVENFORTH: -Has one of his most ungraceful moments and goes barreling towards the front. DOOF. Hi Qirin.-

QIRIN: =Glad you could join us, Dave!=

DAVENFORTH: -Sup babe-

PENNY: -whenever her gun wrist was grabbed, she decided to try to shoot this acrobat before she can lose it-

PENNY: -BUT NOW SO MANY EXPLOSIONS AND JOSTLING IS HAPPEN, she's probably rolling across the floor of the bus-

MAYOR: -hello penny welcome to the floor zone-

TAKODA: HHHHH... -if there's anymore acrobats up here, he's going to stagger to push them through the door. GTFO.-

[[They've cut down the number of acrobats a good bit but they seem to be a persistent bunch. Two more jumping in as the all the dust starts to clear and settle from the impact-- doof one gets shoved out by Takoda. Here comes it's feet of fury Takoda]]

QIRIN: =Just chillin=

HIGHBLOOD: =There's a lot of noise and jostling and shooting. When he wakes from his eerily still.... trance? Meditation he looks around and EYEBALLS one acrobat before grabbing its head in one big ham-fist= THE. MOTHERFUCK. AM. THIS. BLASPHEMOUS NOISE. =He is big. And angry. It's probably time to leave the bus=

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- We should move

TAKODA: -WRESTLES WITH THESE FEET. at least he's opened up the way to exit, even if he's kind of on the ground outside writhing around against the acrobat.-

MAYOR: -LIFTS HIS HEAD UP ENOUGH TO PEEP-

QIRIN: =But it's likely still salvagable!=

RILEY: -WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON-

ROXANNE: -...Yeah shes moving to the front and away from the senior clown troll. Look at her quickly move through the isle towards the front of the bus. Anyone need help getting up while she passes?-

[[Takoda and the acrobat are wrastling..... and by wrassling. The acrobat is sneking around him.]]

QIRIN: =yes, please :(=

TAKODA: -FLAILING FLAILING-- - OH... -lays there when he realizes he's gone.- HEY!!

DEREK: -scoops riley bridal style and books it out of the way of this clown rage. LEAPS over takoda.-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes himself. Helps the Qirin. Checks to make sure Lif is okay. She's a tough fish but still.-

RILEY: -OH HERE WE GO. HOLDS ON-

ROXANNE: -As shes moving through the isle shes going to help usher everyone out at a rappid pace.-

MAYOR: -HE IS DEFINITELY USHERED-

MAYOR: -he doesn't want anything to do with that gnarly affair over there-

QIRIN: Thank you-- =she was getting a bit squished... Well heckeroos, maybe they should vacate the bus after all=

HIGHBLOOD: =IT SURE IS AN AFFAIR. None of you have ever gone to war with this guy but, well. He's kinda busting out the party bus... come to think of it... how did they comfortably fit 2 9+ foot trolls in there with them..... miracles=

HIGHBLOOD: =There's roars and unpleasantness behind you. Also exploding acro-bodies=

MAYOR: O_O

DEREK: -HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR-

QIRIN: =excalibur face=

RILEY: -just yells- HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

[[If they keep running away from all the destruction and carnage there is a neighborhood that was once going to get an expansion. An abandoned one now... with no expansion. And also there are the sounds of persuing flips and cartwheels in the distance. Listen to their palms and feet omniously slap the dirt]]  

MAYOR: -abandoned cities??? He's good at looting those!!!!-

QIRIN: =She's with the mayor on this one, as long as it's in the opposite direction of glitter bombs=

[[Derek’s comm goes off. Buzz buzz! It's a STRANGER]] -- 

thaumatolatryChanslayer [TC] began messaging transientTutor [TT] -- 

TC: HAUL THINE ASSES THREE BLOCKS FORWARD. ENTER THE ONE-STORY CHARTREUSE ABODE. TC: CEASE THOU STEPPAGE FOR A QUARTER OF THE HOUR. TC: PROCEED HERE IN SHADOWS. 

TC: [link to gps] -- 

thaumatolatryChanslayer [TC] ceased messaging transientTutor [TT] --

DEREK: -god bless computer shade upgrades that dirk convinced him to get... he reads the message to himself and makes the executive decision that he should follow the directions being fed to him. and with that risky decision, he sprints his way to the front of the group to guide everybody.-

RILEY: -I guess we're fULL SPEEDING AHEAD NOW. Crosses her arms. She's here for the ride-

PENNY: -she is not happy but she is helping Mayor along because she finally found u....-

MAYOR: ...?

MAYOR: -nibbling some grass-

LIFERA: -AND SHE'S HERE TOO-

ROXANNE: -Shes just gonna trust Derek somehow knows where hes going because the other option is hanging out with the exploding acrobats.-

PENNY: ...babe no....

MAYOR: o_o

[[The grass is delicious and lush]]

PENNY: cmon you adorable town official.

MAYOR: -HE FOLLOWS. for the voting public.-

MAYOR: -ANYTHING FOR YOU CITIZEN-

MAYOR: O,_,O

LIFERA: -probably around the back of the party, ready to punch anything-

MAYOR: -those are tears-

[[Grass:  😢💔 ]]

PENNY: -...adorable...-

[[Anyway the decidedly chartreuse house is just up ahead. The mailbox is full but should they check it though? Maybe not... or maybe. There's a closed door garage though and a front door. And wily grown hedges... they need trims]]

[[Acrobat plopping in the distance but its a softer sound.... searching flips and tumbles]]

PM: -single tear somewhere... has mail not yet been outlawed??-

DEREK: Hey you think anybodys home?

[[How else would the masses get their mandatory glitterfication paints for their ugly little shacks? Oh right. There's no one here. They wouldn't.]]

RILEY: squatting can be fun. 

RILEY: they ain't checking their mail.

QIRIN: =She'll take this mail inside so that the contents will not be damaged by the rampant duststorms. She's thinking of you, PM.=

ROXANNE: Fair point. 

ROXANNE: So long as they arent home.

PM: -BLESS YOU-

[[ Mail: comically FLOODS out of the box as soon as Qirin opens it ]]

QIRIN: =comically begins scooping this mountain of paper into the fabric of her skirts for easier carrying.=

DEREK: Then lets pass through the threshold babe. DEREK: ... Cept my hands are full somebody else open it. Like you bull boy. -just in case theres something bad on the other side. sorry takoda.- TAKODA: OH, CERTA1NLY. -opens the front door, if it does indeed open...-

[[It's unlocked. How unsafe]]

RILEY: we could start a fight club here.

[[Burgles could happen any moment. They could be happening RIGHT NOW. Only there's no burgles in here just darkness and silence]]

QIRIN: Ominous.

PENNY: maybe theres a fight club already started and waiting to unicycle out of the shadows again.

MAYOR: -NODNODNOD-

ROXANNE: -Thank goodness for no burgles.- ROXANNE: -Shes shouldering her gun but not putting it away yet. Her trust levels of this house are in the lower percentiles.-

PENNY: why are we here tho?

PENNY: this place is flamboyant to say the least.

PENNY: green as fuq to say the truth.

[[Wow.]]

RILEY:  his name is robert paulsen.

[[Chartueuse]]

QIRIN: Yes... The exterior is bit of a beacon.

PENNY: -FINE, A KIND OF YELLOWY-GREEN THEN-

MAYOR: -delicious more like....-

DEREK: Guess it aint the most inconspicuous place to lay low but hey. -lies so much...-

DEREK: -seems to be looking around for something, though... and he isn't letting riley down.-

PENNY: -GROSS-

PENNY: -looks down at Mayor- you wanna pick me up like that?

RILEY: where are we going?

RILEY: did i lose my legs?

LIFERA: -HUPS Davenforth into her arms. She's doing it too.- 38)

DEREK: Figured your feet was botherin ya so youre welcome.

RILEY: aw. how nice.

???: =A small, throat clearing.= Um.... howdy th-there..... =From the stairs. It’s soft and nervous. In the darkness=

QIRIN: Greetings.

RILEY: ... -GUN OUT-

ROXANNE: -Startles and turns towards the voice, hand flying to get her rifle again.-

LIFERA: -DAVENFORTH UP. She'll throw a superstar don't test her.-

???: !! Oh good gracious please no no no I was sent to guide you!! =RUNNING NOISES, knocks over a vase. CRASH=

QIRIN: Oh? We were led here?

RILEY: okay maybe they lost their legs by the sound of things.

PENNY: -cants hip- mmmmmhm sent by who?

???: =Hiding further down the hall, his voice sounds farther= By my pastor... he s-s-said some folks need shelter.... please don't shoot me...

TAKODA: OH... WE WON'T SHOOT YOU... TAKODA: WE'RE JUST, A L1TTLE SK1TT1SH TOO, 1S ALL... -glances at the others-

PENNY: shit theyre religious.

PENNY: everybody pack it up.

TAKODA: NOW HEY.

RILEY: OH SHIT THEY'RE RELIGIOUS.

QIRIN: =Dont look at me, i got no weapons out=

PENNY: this yellowgreen building screamed trouble from the start.

QIRIN: =just MAIL=

MAYOR: ?

MAYOR: -can they... maybe... nibble the walls a little bit.-

TAKODA: -the pen is mightier then the sword qirin-

PENNY: mayo no.

???: Please! I not one of th-them...! =Sinks further down the hall.=

[[The walls are brown. Sorry Mayor]]

MAYOR: -wtf-

[[Whoever lived in this house liked color]]

ROXANNE: -Her hand is slowly retracting from her gun.- Aight. so.

RILEY: -sighs and puts away her gun- you gonna show yourself now?

ROXANNE: Yeah what she said.

ROXANNE: Says the people bargin' into your house...dang we probably seem pretty sketchy too.

PENNY: yeah DEREK.

RILEY: -pats his cheek-

DEREK: Im used to it.

???: Mmm.... A-alright.... here I go.... =Creeps out from behind the door and steps into the dim light. Its... A. Human. Huh. Like a normal human with the hair and the freckles. He's pudgy and nervous and sweating considerably. Tugging down his varsity jacket= Um. Name's Jeff.

ROXANNE: 'Course ya'are Derek.

PENNY: - 👀 - hello Jeff.

RILEY: aw, he's cute.

ROXANNE: -Looks to the new face now though.- ROXANNE: Hey Jeff.

PENNY: need a hanky?

QIRIN: Salutations, Jeff. ^_^ 

QIRIN: It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

JEFF: =Relaxes more and nods= Like-wise. Sorry for, giving you all a scare. Hah. Situations tense.... 

JEFF: But don't worry there's more humans and even some trolls and.. =Looks at Qirin= ..well you're all welcome. 

JEFF: The university isn't too far from here, it's really a blessin in these tryin times when you're just tryin to survive.

PENNY: oh shit. are we going to dorms?

JEFF: =He smiles= Yes indeedy!

PENNY: oh thank God.

PENNY: lead the way Jeff.

RILEY: -winks at derek-

PENNY: my new BFF Jeff.

ROXANNE: -Indeedy...- ROXANNE: -Small smile- Huh, havent been on any campus in years. -Still some hesitation though.-

PENNY: bee eff Jeff.

QIRIN: =havent you seen a Carapacian before? Well Mayo and Qirin will show you the world.=

JEFF: Oh... haha well I'm glad to be your friend. =Looks at his watch... it's time= Let's hustle on The Shadows. 

JEFF: =Comes down the stairs and walks around them= S'cuse me, pardon me... =goes to the garage and turns on his flashlight because it'd be silly to turn on the HOUSE LIGHTS.....The Shadows... are a little black mini train. ALL ABOARD=

MAYOR: 😮

QIRIN: Oh! =smiles= How delightful.

PENNY: ... -cute... damn it. She grins and points at Jeff once he's ahead of them, looking back at Riley and really anyone so she can mouth "ADORABLE."-

PENNY: -tails him close-

JEFF: =MAYBE SHE'S JUST SCARED? But he's also nervous a lil. IT's ok ma'am...=

RILEY: -gives her a thumbs up-

PENNY: whoa this is our ride?

DEREK: -nothing suspicious about getting into a van with a stranger. of course he doesnt exactly trust it but its also a little too obvious if its on behalf of the prezzies... so guess they're going in.-

DEREK: -well now that I see what it looks like this is just silly-

JEFF: =It's functional and quiet..... and adorable=

PENNY: hold on guys I might cry. this is beautiful.

PENNY: I feel like Im twelve again.

RILEY: let's ride the fuck out of this train.

JEFF: Yes ma'am haha... made it myself. Everyone pile in and draw your curtains down.

PENNY: oh my God??

DEREK: Doot doot.

PENNY: Jeff just wondering. how single are you?

RILEY: -more aggressive winking at Derek-

PENNY: -crawls into a mini train car-

JEFF: =Goes red= P-pardon??? Um.....

JEFF: =climbs in the driver seat= .... =sweating= (umm....)

JEFF: A.. little???

DEREK: -draws the curtain... ;) -

RILEY: ;) ;) ;) ;)

JEFF: =PLEASE NOT ON HIS TRAIN=

PENNY: INTERESTING.

PENNY: -tents fingers-

ROXANNE: -The pipers and striders are all ridiculous, shes getting in her own train car.-

LIFERA: -dunks Davenforth into a car as well-

QIRIN: =Oh whoops she probably put the mail in a neat pile in the house somewhere, ordered by month.= 

QIRIN: =SMH at this whole convo, boy howdy. She gently lifted her skirts and climbed into a train car.=

MAYOR: -he is actually perfectly sized for a train car-

QIRIN: =dear, sweet, precious bean=

JEFF: =He doesn't know how to handle this and just clears his throat= Here we go...! =The garage is lifted via a steam pulley system and they chug off silently down the street. Thanks to it being the future the train has cloaking technology. Oooooooh. Aaaaa!=

PENNY: -hot damn...-

PENNY: -leaning forward in her car- so Jeff. how many of you are there?

JEFF: Well there's only one me! =Laughs softly while driving this train. It's going at a good pace= JEFF: But there are over 30 of us on Campus.

PENNY: -HILARIOUS- oh sweet. PENNY: are there all separate mini trains or is this like the Big Kahuna?

JEFF: Oh well there are lil golf carts we charge up. There's only this train though!

PENNY: thats the saddest thing I ever heard get said.

PENNY: actually nevermind the fact that we have even one mini train makes this completely baller.

PENNY: hey... anyone know what happened to the big guy?

QIRIN: Still demolishing our previous mode of transport, I assume.

PENNY: is he uh. gonna catch up?

ROXANNE: Probably?

QIRIN: More than likely. 

QIRIN: ...Eventually?

PENNY: -stares into camera-

JEFF: =The train ride itself is peaceful and soon enough they're driving on up to the campus. It's a research university, he looks in the rear-view= Big guy..... did I miss anyone? =Oh no...=

PENNY: apparently hell catch up.

PENNY: but if you see a big-- actually this isnt reassuring at all nevermind.

JEFF: Mnnng... =slight marge noises= I'll let my pastor know...

GAIZKA: =Pouring miniature oreos into his mouthhole in the back of the train. How does he fit??? He's liquid.=

JEFF: ..... =That's a big.....=

RILEY: -is this a holy train-

JEFF: =Yes.=

RILEY: -whoops-

GAIZKA: =He can't feel his legs.= :'o)

ROXANNE: -thats one of the bigs.-

LIFERA: -you are a treasure tho-

JEFF: But... um. Lemme take y'all to the dorms so you can rest up. Uh. If you see anything you gotta report then there's over 144 police boxes on campus and we got some minor defenses! 

JEFF: There's the cafeteria and the gardens, a pool, a gym, a library, some computers but... I don't recommend it. Don't wanna be tracked and hunted down haha.....

JEFF: =Clears throat= Anyway! There's a chapel if you're the prayin type! We have services when we can.

PENNY: ...riiiight. so where are the people that host the parties?

DAVENFORTH: -Casually in a train car. Okay this is cool. At least his legs are well rested.-

JEFF: Um... I.... couldn't say.... but. There... are drinks in the cafeteria... we just. Are a lil tense so we try not to make too much noise.

PENNY: got it.

JEFF: =Look at these dorm buildings.... not so shitty at all. NEAT.= JEFF: Well... these are some of the dorms. Most ones in this building are open since there are only a few of us and so many rooms!

DAVENFORTH: Well good golly goddamn

GAIZKA: have GuEsStImAtE of WhAt HoLy GrOuNdS here PoSsEs ain't for ThE MaNnEr of WhImSy JoViEs a BrOtHeR keep on SaCrEd, but none JoUrNeY to find EnLiGhTeNmEnT in SoUlSpAcEs of other be for NaUgHtLiKe. GAIZKA: might point a NiNjA in direction of the HeArT? :o)

JEFF: =Stares at Gaizka= Erm............. JEFF: The.... chapel is that way and real inclusive! Actually you and the pastor might get along real swell! :) JEFF: =Steps off the train, its their stop=

JEFF: =He also totally points where tha chapel is and you can see it in the distance=

MAYOR: -LEANS OUT TO SEE-

GAIZKA: =Stares into Jeff's soul.= :o) GAIZKA: BiTcHtItS. 👌=

DAVENFORTH: -Kinda interested in what the fuck this chapel is like....-

JEFF: =Sweats..... please=

JEFF: Uh...yes. Good! Haha!....

QIRIN: =she kinda has a feeling deep in her gut=

DAVENFORTH: -So does he, but he has to see it...for himself...-

RILEY: -oh it's time to get out OKAY. she draws the curtain back and emerges. her hair's a little more messed up than it was before but WHATEVER-

DEREK: -his hair is always a mess so hes good-

RILEY: -that's the good thing-

ROXANNE: -Love birds plz.-

DAVENFORTH: -Learn how to be discrete jeez-

DEREK: -as if you're discrete about anything my dude-

DEREK: -also he's going to try and find a place for riley to rest.-

GAIZKA: =Staring directly into Jeff's soul still as he begins to wiggle out of the train car. Very slow shimmy wiggle.=

RILEY: -what aRE YOU GOING TO DO-

DAVENFORTH: -You don't know if I macked on the fish wife on the train. Boom-

JEFF: =N...O=

GAIZKA: :o)

JEFF: =He sweats and tugs mor at his jacket= ....

JEFF: =coughs into fist and looks.... to the right=

RILEY: -may have plans to stalk penny tonight. that only she knows of.-

GAIZKA: =Snorts bemusedly. He won the stareoff he is the champion.= GAIZKA: =POPS out of the train car. He is free. Scratches his belly and stretches. He's going to mosey over to the chapel.=

PENNY: -she's heading for the dorms and cafeteria-

DAVENFORTH: -Joins Gaizka, stealthily.-

GAIZKA: =Joining these majestic buns? He understands. ;o)) ))=

TAKODA: -joins his good buddies. guys bein dudes goin to church-

LIFERA: -davenforth has no choice, because she would carry him to Gaizkas buns regardless-

RILEY: -quietly at derek- i think i'm gonna go talk to penny. since. you know. she doesn't hate me so much she can't look at me. and i know where she is right now.

DAVENFORTH: -Babe...I can walk.-

DEREK: ... Aight. Can I come?

LIFERA: -no- 38)

RILEY: uh. yeah. that actually might be better. she gets along pretty well with you.

DAVENFORTH: -Please-

DEREK: I am one charismatic motherfucker.

RILEY: -rolls her eyes- oh shut up. -grabs his hand and drags him along in the direction that penny went-