#tenaciousgodliness

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Prezidankal Coup

[[The doors stand close, looming and kinda greasy for when dem boys am arrive]]

DAVENFORTH: -HOL UP. We dem boyz.-

ROXANNE: -That us.-

DEREK: -looks the door over. huh.- We just bustin in?

ROXANNE: Looks weak enough like we could if we gotta'.

DAVENFORTH: Im takin my house back -He gonna kick it open-

DEREK: -SUCK MY DRAGON BALLZ BITCH CALL ME GOKU-

[[the door is so greasy and so easy to open that if Davenforth isn't carefull that kicking could make him fall into a full split]]

[[Upon entering the newly decked out captial of pimposity they will be faced with an intricate maze of mirrors. Oooooh aaaaah.... how annoying]]

ROXANNE: -Makes a face.- This shit is dizzying.

ROXANNE: Also ya'know always thought i wanted to visit the white house until now.

DAVENFORTH: -Takes off his mask and ventures in-

DAVENFORTH: I mean honestly fuck the white house but yeah it aint deserve all this

ROXANNE: -Walking in.- So weapons out now, or nah?

DEREK: -THE SWORD ALREADY OUT- ...

DAVENFORTH: -He brought rebellion for this one-

[[To be honest it's all kind of bullshit. And to make it bullshittier almost immediately there's already there’s some lanky cackling human slipping between the walls with TWO SWORDS. He flips them all around like crazy while laughing maniacally. This is the host. Where are your tickets?]]

ROXANNE: -Thats all the okay she needs, say hello to her semi-automatic, and a belt of reloads.-

ROXANNE: Mmm.

DEREK: -pretty hot roxanne. ngl.-

DEREK: ... Bro you need to chill.

ROXANNE: -Thanks, she tries.-

DAVENFORTH: Real talk

DAVENFORTH: How much you wanna bet ro pegs this motherfucker one shot

2SWRD: =Tazmanian devil noises, this is his real talk. He stammers and points a sword at them... they're tapped to his hands=

DAVENFORTH: Seriously

ROXANNE: Better at long distance but I got somethin' for this, one sec. -Shoulders the riffle and decaptcha's the hand gun she got from Eridan. Shes been practicing with this one too.-

DAVENFORTH: Kinda hot roro

ROXANNE: -There is very little time before getting it and then she is firing two shots at sword guy.-

2SWRD: =CLANG CLANG, looks like he knows how to use those swords... look out he's pointy and a banoodle and oh yeah he's in a thong with full body paint. Fellas, lady. Your welcome. SWINGS SORDS=

ROXANNE: -Gdi.-

ROXANNE: -So many levels of uncomfortable with this guy.-

DAVENFORTH: This voldo ass motherfuck well looks like its my turn -Raises his shades for a split second and winks at Rox before charging at this bitch and stabbing at him-

ROXANNE: -Shoots him a brief smile for that, but she is still internally so many levels of "Fuuuck this."- Fuck 'em up.

DAVENFORTH: Just gonna warm em up roro this is a team effort after all dont you tag team

2SWRD: !??!!?!?! =MORE TAZ NOISES, Crosses swords with Davenforth and raspberries nasty spittle into his face while gibberish speaking=

DAVENFORTH: -GROSS MY GUY. Tries to push him back.-

2SWRD: =He is a lanky thing so he gets shoved back pretty easy. Stops. Turns. Runs arms flailing into the white house. Making siren noises=

DAVENFORTH: Uh

ROXANNE: -Can she shoot him now?? Shes gonna try, POW.-

DEREK: Bitch. Wheres he think hes goin?

[[You can see his many reflections on the mirrors, if he doesn't get too far at least]]

DEREK: ... -starts breaking mirrors near him with the hilt of his sword-

DAVENFORTH: -Same tho-

[[The bullet crashes through the mirrors and now with other mirrors being broken the sirens stop]]

DAVENFORTH: I meant three shots

ROXANNE: Damn.

ROXANNE: Well thanks for the confidence anyways.

DAVENFORTH: You got the next one babygirl

ROXANNE: -Steps further in and smashes one of the mirrors with her boot clad foot. Feels good destroying government property.-

DEREK: Fuck yeah.

DEREK: -advances, smashing up mirrors as he goes-

[[They clear out the mirrors to a certain point but the deeper into the maze the mirrors seem to go liquidy then completely clear and watery. A troll woman strides out of the shimmery surface and steps down onto the floor. Her gown and hair are flowing in a way that's so effortless but probably has some effort to it and she just stares at these three bozos.]]

ANGSTGTH: =Sigh=

ROXANNE: -Um.-

DEREK: Oh shit its Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way.

DAVENFORTH: Fucking preps

ROXANNE: -SNRK.- Wow.

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= yOUr outDAted meMes aRe so.....

ANGSTGTH: =gurgles= grOdy

ANGSTGTH: guEss yOu goTta, lIKe... dIe. or whaTEver =SIGHHHHH=

ROXANNE: Us grody? Ya' seen the whole capital lately?

ANGSTGTH: uGh yEs

ANGSTGTH: eVRy dAy

DAVENFORTH: -Captchas Rebellion and pulls out his sword that matches his brothers.-

ANGSTGTH: =UGHH=

DAVENFORTH: Whats the chances of you fuckin off and lettin us through you dont have to expend effort or die and i keep my suit clean fair trade

ANGSTGTH: =Tsks=

ANGSTGTH: uGh wELl i mEAn

ANGSTGTH: i prETty mUCh gEt... nOt suCky benEFits???

ANGSTGTH: so.... yEAh...

ANGSTGTH: anYWay.....

ANGSTGTH: =holds her crystal ball and it glows hotly before shooting WHITE HOT or... red hot or blue hot.... rainbow beams of light at them. Fires her laser=

DAVENFORTH: -Jet noise as he flips out the way-

ROXANNE: -Thats really cool, but also really deadly. She's gonna duck.-

DEREK: -oh shit, he zips out of the way too. damn magical goths.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGHHHSS= jUSt.... no..... =Just die, she wants to get back to brooding=

DAVENFORTH: -Flashsteps towards her but flips over her at the last minute, aiming a kick at her back-

ANGSTGTH: =DOOF, goes ragdolling into one of the mirrors= uuuuugGHhhhhhh

[[She disappears into the liquid silver, bloop]]

ROXANNE: Nice shot. But also what the fuck? -How she do that.-

ANGSTGTH: =The same way she emerges from another one, shooting bright yellow heat beams at Davenforth= rUDe uGh i lIKE

ANGSTGTH: waSHed tHIS, iT's a pAIn to lauNder hERe =gurgles=

DEREK: Oh damn.

DAVENFORTH: -Backflipping for his GODDAMN LIFE-

ROXANNE: -Its rude to shoot beams at people. Although now that there is distance between her and Davenforth, Roxanne is shooting to disarm her of the use of her arms, how do you like bullets heading for your shoulder.-

ANGSTGTH: =They suck like.... big time=

ANGSTGTH: =Her shoulder jerks and she winces, clenching teeth atthe bullet in the shoulder= my tOp UUGGGGGHHHHH, i cAN't croTChet lIKE tHIS

ANGSTGTH: gOd

ANGSTGTH: =lifts her uninjured arm charges up the crystal ball here comes a rainbow fire party everywhere but directly under it=

ROXANNE: -WELP.-

DAVENFORTH: Sorry ro -Flips and FLINGS Roxanne towards the girl. He's gonna....try and dodge this fuckery with flashsteps????-

ROXANNE: -DUDE.-

ANGSTGTH: =WHY? HER PERSONAL SPACE?? Doof! That startles her enough that the crystal ball goes wobbling out of her hands= oh my gOOOOOOOOOOOOOd! =Today is just... #TheWorst=

ROXANNE: -But also sort of thanks. well if she is going to be anywhere in proximity shes going clubbing with the butt of her hand gun.-

ROXANNE: -NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BAD DAY LADY.-

ANGSTGTH: =AND she's hit in the face? RUDE.=

ROXANNE: -B)-

DEREK: -oh shit, slides to snatch up the crystal ball as it rolls away, after he TOO flash steps around the fuckery. assuming it doesn't just break...-

[[The ball doesn't break, it's just hecka warm. Meanwhile her mirrors are still liquidy and glowing and she's laying on the ground. Today. BLOWS.]]

ROXANNE: -Gently kicks her with her foot.- 'Kay that went alright.

DEREK: Ooo fuck hot potato. -bounces it between his hands a couple times before he sticks it into his sylladex.-

DAVENFORTH: -Skids to a halt, panting a little.- Alright lets go

ROXANNE: -Causally reloads.-

ANGSTGTH: uGh yOUr shOes aRe diRty sTOp >:(

ANGSTGTH: nooooooooooo UGGGHHHHHHH

ANGSTGTH: =Sighs and lays here, reciting poetry about her shitty day=

ROXANNE: What about goth girl here. -Doof punt pow. Keeps sticking her foot on her.-

ANGSTGTH: MMNNGNGNGNNG

DAVENFORTH: -Walks over and poises his blade over her face.- Occupational hazard

ROXANNE: -She backs up, hands up, giving Davenforth the space.-

ANGSTGTH: =SIGH= i mean =shrugs on arm= yEAh

DAVENFORTH: -Doesn't think about it, just stabs down. Then he lifts it back up, walking forward like nothing happened.-

[[DED]]

ROXANNE: -Gonna try not to commit that image to memory. Store it away for later, Roxanne.- .............

ROXANNE: -Cool shes good lets roll.-

DEREK: -whoops, he doesn't seem all that phased by this. it's almost like they've done this shit before.-

DAVENFORTH: Fuckin annoying holy shit -He keeps pressing forward-

ROXANNE: Mhm. How many of this side show freaks ya' think we gonna' run into?

DAVENFORTH: As many as we gotta put in a casket i guess

[[Here they are.... The end of the maze and an arch to even celebrate that. How simple..... TOO SIMPLE. Or it’s just simple.One thing’s for sure it’s dusty as hell over there. Do they not sweep here? Probably not.]]

DAVENFORTH: All this shit and still no housekeeping unbelievable i bet barack is turning in his grave

ROXANNE: Where are the standards.

[[There are none]]

ROXANNE: -Terrible. Where is the nation's pride.-

[[There is none]]

DAVENFORTH: -It never had it-

DEREK: -shimmies thru the arch... expecting confetti... or some kind of indiana jones style booby trap.-

DAVENFORTH: -Walks through-

ROXANNE: -Shes going through last.-

[[It’s never that easy, let’s be honest here. As soon as they get closer the arch starts to waiver and then SPLATS onto the ground making a mess of water onto the dust that was on the floor. They will get wet.]]

ROXANNE: -W hy.-

[[Party]]

DAVENFORTH: ! -Jumps away-

ROXANNE: Eugh. This hole place makes me feel like im on drugs.

DAVENFORTH: You think this is what bein on drugs is like

DAVENFORTH: Kinda close

ROXANNE: 'Dunno never did any.

[[ The dust absorbs the water and builds up. It bubbles ominously and from the muddy slime googly-eyed skitter critters start to emerge. Damn. Those are some big seamonkeys.]]

DEREK: Well I know what were doin when we get outta here.

DAVENFORTH: Okay nevermind definitely like what being on drugs is like

DEREK: …

DEREK: Huh.

ROXANNE: Im too old for-- .........jeez.

[[They look slimy and crawl over each other, skitter critters. Like giant beetle/crossed silverfish]]

DAVENFORTH: What the fuck actually

[[Clickity clackity bug noises as they climb all over the walls and on the floor. If y'all thought roach problems were bad here comes the monkeys]]

ROXANNE: This is hell. -Okay switching to the big gun for this, strapping the hand gun on her belt and taking the safety off her rifle.-

DAVENFORTH: Im pretty sure youre right about that -Eyeing these creatures and their surroundings. -

ROXANNE: -Shes gonna test popping one right between its many eyes. Please let it be that simple.-

[[Thery're here to crawl right up your leg Davenforth. Also Roxanne does shoot and kill it. It gurgle clicks into a mound of slime and releases a cloud of noxious gas that'll make any sniffers dizzy. The slime is thick and slippery. They're not even attacking. They just exist and crawl around]]

DAVENFORTH: -EUGH. He kicks them off and starts backtracking away, until he gets a whiff. Trips and stumbles behind Roxanne.-

ROXANNE: -Finally she kills in one hit. Thank god. Except there is no god, not here.-

ROXANNE: About damn ti--nngnh. -Woah head rush. Shes quickly covering her mouth and nose.-

[[The more these critters crawl the slimier the floors and walls get, the slime faintly has that smell effect but as it builds up the scent gets stronger.]]

DEREK: -covers his mouth quickly before he catches too big of a WHIFF but mmmmmnnggg. this is getting hairy as the fumes spread... he grabs his wobbly brother with his free hand, and while he still has coordination, shoves him across the slime down the end of the hall. IT'S LIKE A WATER SLIDE, DAVE. HAVE FUN.-

DAVENFORTH: What the fu--- -Goes sliding past all these slimy heckers.-

[[WHEEEEE, he's too fast for the bugs, they're not even worried about him. They're just being adorable sea monkeys]]

ROXANNE: -They would be cute if they didnt stink.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and shakes his head. Pulling himself up. Looks back at Derek and Roxanne.- What the shit are you doing asshole

DEREK: -JUST OK HANDS AT HIM. you got this. meanwhile, he's starting to cough too.-

DAVENFORTH: DEREK

[[Fumes: Are noxious]]

ROXANNE: -She got to put the safety on her gone shes too dizzy for this shit. Also fuck standing, Derek mind if she leans on you a bit.-

ROXANNE: Fuckin'..

ROXANNE: Gotta' get over there.

DEREK: -wheeze. hooks an arm around roxanne's waist to support her and waves the other arm at dave.- BITCH MOVE.

DAVENFORTH: You shittin me right now youre in the middle of a fucking stank cloud

KURLOZ: =Walks up behind Derek and Roxanne. Looking Davenforth in the eyes=

KURLOZ: 👍

ROXANNE: -Wow because thats not creepy.-

DAVENFORTH: -Has he seen this clown before?-

KURLOZ: =At the college, he organized them arriving there. Your welcome=

DAVENFORTH: -You bitch-

KURLOZ: =Taps Derek on the shoulder, and will support his weight if need be. Move your meat sack before you pass out and he isn't hoisting anyone tbh=

DAVENFORTH: You die im kicking your fucking ass twice over -Ugh. he keeps running. Guess the Oval office is soon.-

ROXANNE: -Clown bro how are you not suffering from the gas.-

KURLOZ: =He doesn't breathe, easy= :o)

KURLOZ: =Nods and is gonna guide them on outta there to fresh air=

ROXANNE: -Also wraps an arm around Derek, they will stay up together dammit. What do we say to death, not today.-

ROXANNE: -Also nudges him to move his ass.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nyooming down the hallway.-

[[The Oval Office is trashed with graffiti, the presidential seal on the floor updated with the ICP logo. There are discarded Faygo bottles everywhere. There’s also just magical STARDUST piled up on the desk and on the floor. There’s also this BITCHIN spiral staircase to the roof]]

DAVENFORTH: -Stops to take a selfie.-

DEREK: -HE'S NUDGED.- Aight Im movin Im moooovin. -MOVES. WOBBILY. but he glances back at where his brother was. he didn't want him to do this alone... he don't trust that motherfucker to NOT do something stupid.-

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on up that staircase-

ROXANNE: -Stop talking and breathing you DINGUS. Shes still dizzy as fuck but shes doing her best to guide them after the clown. Also yeah she is also really worried about Davenforth...-

ROXANNE: -For once please dont be an arrogant bastard, friend.-

DAVENFORTH: -Literally no guarantees-

ROXANNE: -Dont.-

DAVENFORTH: -8)-

[[The higher he ascends the stairs the more obviously he can hear the sound of beat boxing and fresh, muffled lyrics. The smell of Faygo is stale and sickeningly sweet. Gritty special stardust leaves a trail and once he gets up there... there they are. Jamming away]]

SHAGGY: =Check his baggy jorts, check his high white socks, check his Polo slippers and probably blank white eyes maybe. Or is that the stardust in the air Homeboiiii =

VIOLENT J: -everything was blue... his jorts, his jants, his japris...-

VIOLENT J: -but there is definitely something extra unsettling about this pair as they slam back this wicked elixer. the larger of the two wipes away the sugar liquid dribbling down his chin with an ashen pale arm, trashy tats glowing with some weird energy. discarding the half consumed bottle, he turns to davenforth with blank eyes framed by pitch black makeup.-

VIOLENT J: WELL SHIT LOOK WHO'S PUNK ASS DECIDED TO SHOW UP?? THIS RICH BITCH.

SHAGGY: UH OH FUCKO JAY. THE MAD MEDIA SHIT TALKIN, STALKIN BITCHASS DUDE GOT BALLS. SHAGGY: FOR NOW, BUT NOT LONG.

DAVENFORTH: -Rests his blade on his shoulder.- Wow just wow im impressed honestly

DAVENFORTH: Tell me guys

DAVENFORTH: Howd yall manage to look even less threatening in real life thats a real talent honestly

VIOLENT J: -belly laughs with an unsettling, undernatural kind of growl underlying it.- HOMIE AIN'T AS CLEVER IN PERSON. YOU THINK HIS SPOILED ASS HAVE SOME BITCH WRITING HIS TWEETS FOR HIM OR SOMETHING???

SHAGGY: YO, WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT HE IS THE BITCH! =Laughs, it's gurgling and layered while taking one last swig of his elixer=

DAVENFORTH: Spoiled aww come on we all cant live in the lap of luxury getting raised by wild dogs in the midwest -He's eying them, studying them and this fucking...what the fuck is this glowy bullshit anyway.-

DAVENFORTH: Losin your virginity to an ear of corn man that must have been wild times

SHAGGY: DON'T STALL YO. CAME UP HERE WITH A PAIR THEN YOU TREMBLED EM DOWN YOUR PANTS SUIT, FUCK! SHAGGY: TIME'S IS WILDIN OUT, COME GET YOUR WHOOPINS MONEYBAGS.

DAVENFORTH: -He smirks- Youre gonna feel this pair on your forehead before this is said and done with

DAVENFORTH: Be useful and hold this for me -He chucks his sword at Shaggy and flashsteps out of view, appearing behind Violent J, removing his suit jacket and trying to throw it over his head.-

SHAGGY: =Thats a sword incoming hot, spins his arm up and suddenly long, dark and shiny ropes are in his palm. He spins them and jams his ass on out the way. Whipping the ropes on over for them ankles my man. He gon latch=

DAVENFORTH: -Oh what the fuck. That sure is a rope latching around his ankle. He's got barely enough time to draw his pistols from his strife specibi. Tries to get off a shot or two before whatever is about to happen.-

SHAGGY: =If Davenforth looks down, he'll see the rope is Shaggy's greasy, lopped off dreads. Longer.... stronger, gettin their friction onger=

VIOLENT J: -damn, man. this is the nicest thing he's ever worn on his body. it's easy enough to dispose of, turning to throw this jacket back around dave's neck. the combob of jacket and dreads is intended to push and pull him down to the ground.-

DAVENFORTH: -Oh fuck! He lets out a strangled noise. Yeah okay, breath is suddenly hard to come by, he misses that commodity. Alright new target. He aims his pistols at Violent J's face, letting out a flurry of bullets.-

VIOLENT J: -TAKES A WHOLE BUNCH OF LEAD TO THE FACE... which, realistically, should kill a bitch dead. but instead he just... staggers, touching at bullet peppered face paint .- DAMN! FUCKOOOFFFF!

DAVENFORTH: -Tries to slip his own jacket from around his neck-

SHAGGY: =It's okay man bro he got you= YO, YOUR PAINT JAY. HOLD UP! =Snags ropes again and is going to flail and body slam Davenforth on the WhiteHouse Helepad. TARGET CENTRAL YO=

VIOLENT J: OHHHHH SPLASHED! -says while face... oozes...-

DAVENFORTH: -Pain shoots through his body and he lets out a pained noise. What the FUCK man? He's trying to shoot at Shaggy now, to get his legs free.-

SHAGGY: =NOT HIS JORTS, he takes many bullets. One to the knee and stumbles. Davenforth can feel the greasy dreadlocks writhe and squirm in pain as he does so. But they loosen=

DAVENFORTH: -He pulls his feet free, tumbling back and taking the time to reload. Eyes his sword. Starts flash stepping around and peppering them with bullets to confuse them.-

VIOLENT J: -wobbles around rather comically. WhOoOOOOoOOA!!! the bullets are disorienting and he's taking a few hits, but it doesn't seem to be doing much to him... he just keeps oooozing from the wounds.- THIS BITCH IS SLIPPERY!

SHAGGY: =He's not really looking any better, a frustrated wet sound bubbling up in side him as he leaks.= THEN LET'S GET SLIPERRYIER! =Whips the dreads again then slams them on the ground and they branch out wildly in different directions. Where's your feetsies Dave=

DAVENFORTH: -NAH FAM. Stows his pistols and whips past his sword, hupping it up and slashing wildly at dread vines. Don't you fuckers play videogames?-

VIOLENT J: -ONLY BACKYARD WRESTLING 2: THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD-

DAVENFORTH: -GOD DAMMIT-

SHAGGY: =Speaking of the dreads leave grease all on that sword but also here comes this lanky motherfucker, he's coughing up vicous fluids but not befor he tries for a good grip On Davenforth, are y'all ready for this?=

DAVENFORTH: -Are ya ready kids? He EXPLODES forward, propelling this grease ass sword at Shaggy again and trying to slide under this gross bile. He knew y'all bitches was sticky, but greasy too? HELL NAW-

SHAGGY: =SHUNK, he gets stuck with the sword and laughs giddily spilling all kinds of sloppy fluids while this sord protrudes from his lanky frame=

VIOLENT J: -time to tag team this shit again. he's RUNNIN' IN to grab dave from behind. they're all slippery now... but if he can get a grip, he's taking him to suplex city.-

SHAGGY: =Its a sammich=

DAVENFORTH: -Tfw you thought you were sliding home free but some fat clown motherfucker decides nah you out. There's a slight crunch as Davenforth is suplexed. he lets out a groan as the world spins for a bit, but it's not too long before he's trying to recover, get to his feet so he can plan his next attack.-

SHAGGY: =Will he get that plan though? Here comes a chest slap, look alive vulnerable human. That AND he's rockin a sword better than you could. DAMN=

DAVENFORTH: -DOOF! Grabs the hilt and drives it DEEPER, then tries to force it upward, all the while they're slipping across the roof.-

SHAGGY: =HRK! SPLORTS more nasty fluids on Davenforth as they slip, the sword is inching upward that's for sure and he's gonna try to drive them right to the edge= CAN YOU SURVIVE THE BIGGEST BASS DROP IN HISTORY PLAYBOY? =His voice even more distorted and offkey with itself=

DAVENFORTH: -Smirks at him- Fuckin drop it -Jumps and flips over him, yanking the sword out, and as he's twirling overhead opens his legs and rubs his nuts ALL ON HIS FOREHEAD. When he lands he slices at his neck. Give him the top first.-

SHAGGY: =There goes the sword and also his neck he done gets sliced=

DAVENFORTH: -Catches that head in his sylladex casually-

VIOLENT J: -OH FUCK!!! ok, he's not laughing anymore. his face twists with paint and ooze and rage, running at dave with beefy arms ready to clothesline.-

DAVENFORTH: -That's a lot of big coming at him all at once.- Oh shit big babys mad DAVENFORTH: -Tries to duck and slice at that leg-

VIOLENT J: -well if he's gonna try THAT then he's just gonna jump to tackle him instead.-

DAVENFORTH: -My guy. MY DUDE. BOOMF! Davenforth groans as he's just crushed by this meaty oozey mother fuck. He's pretty sure he heard something crack. Not sure on who but it happened....-

VIOLENT J: -he's about to hear something ELSE crack. time for a good old fashioned beat down, fists 2 face.-

DAVENFORTH: -OOF OOF OOF OOF. His face is just eating these blows like sunday brunch and his glasses crack. He's not bein a bitch tho, trying to throw his own blows back.-

ROXANNE: -Fresh air had done wonders for her head, it was killing her but at least she could see straight. See straight enough to drag herself to another roof top anyways. She meant it when she said she was going to cover these boy's asses, Davenforth doesnt get off the hook just because of noxious fumes.-

ROXANNE: -Shes had enough time to set herself up, finger steady on the trigger, eye piercing through the scope. As much as it sucked to see Dave getting his face beat on, this was a great line up for a shot. Eat rounds, clown.-

ROXANNE: -Pulls the trigger and shoots a bullet for right between Violent J's eyes. Rest in rip.-

VIOLENT J: -that ninjette got him square in the noggin, and despite all the blows he's taken to the face, this one has his thrown back, off of dave and left a twitching mess. not quite dead -- but not quite

functioning

either. it's like he's trying to get back to his feet but can't quite make it without flailing. WHAT EVEN IS HE? MAN, MACHINE, SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?? one thing is for certain, he's about to be DECEASED.-

ROXANNE: -Hes nasty thats what. She may also be quietly congratulating herself on shooting the juggalo president.-

DAVENFORTH: -Coughs and sputters up some blood, dragging his ass up standing. Goddamn, he must have one hell of a guardian angel. Everything is blurry, not quite right...oh shit is that sunlight? Maybe that's why his noggin hurts so much...well that and the tenderizing it received. At some point his sword left his hand, he scrambles for it, trying to steady himself. The broken frames on his face are thrown aside, his left eye scarred by broken glass but whatever. Despite the searing pain he focuses. His sword passes through J's neck like a hot knife through butter, and that's another skull in the dex. Everything looks like a JJ Abrams movie but he can tell everything's on fire, with no means of escape. Wheezing a bit and choking up another bloody loogie he leans on his sword. He's kinda fucked ain't he?-

DEREK: -NOT QUITE. thanks to clown intel about the white house layout, and after fighting through a few more bullshit obstacles, a slightly battered brother emerges from the stairwell a few moments later, zipping over so dave can lean on him instead.-

DEREK: Hey... Looks like I made it just in time. Convenient. -notices the sunglasses have been fucked up, so he offers up his own to place on dave's face instead. that's why he has them in the first place, after all.-

DAVENFORTH: -Leans heavily on Derek, wheezing a little. Thanks for the shades though, maybe the pain in his head will subside a little.- You asshole -Coughs a little bit more, spitting blood to the side-

DAVENFORTH: I knew you didnt want these hands

DAVENFORTH: So whats your brilliant escape plan

DEREK: Well we got a getaway vehicle waitin... Considering we arent being discreet anymore... Why not fly to them? -we both have to have hoverboards, come on...-

DAVENFORTH: -Wheeze laughs at that, except it causes him to cough a little more blood.- DAVENFORTH: Think i punctured somethin but sure why the fuck not wheres everyone else though

DEREK: Ridin around in an ice cream truck.

DEREK: -takes out the hoverboard and helps dave to stand on it with him- You good? Like your not gonna go flailing into the wind after we take off right?

DAVENFORTH: -Gives him a bloody grin- Come on dude what kind of scrub do you take me for these headless scrublords

DEREK: -snorts- Ok cool. -keeps a tight hold of him though... and then they nyoom, ice cream truck bound.-

DAVENFORTH: -See, look Qirin. He's alive!-

QIRIN: =somewhere she is making this face: :/ =

[gulescamisade]

Betty Crocker Headquarters:  Battleship Condescension

)(IC: -there's a lot of hair and glitter awaiting those who DARE to challenge her. toss of the head, trident at her side. she's WADING.-

JOHN: -HERE HIM COME-

JOLENE: -she's been waiting for this moment... NYOOMS THE FUCK IN, GOING IN FOR AN ATOMIC PUNCH RIGHT TO FISH HITLER'S JAW.-

)(IC: -IT LANDS! DOOF!! but clearly she let her have that hit as she promptly slaps grandma out of the way with her trident.- nice to sea u 2 jojo

JOLENE: -skids across the roof of the ship. DOOF X2 COMBO-

DAVENFORTH: -Lands and skids to a halt. How did he even get up here? Uncaptchas his second second and helps JoJo- Damn you got some fight

ARADIA: -she knows her role. She's ascending to a good vantage point-

JOHN: -lets this magical torando he's been building LOOSE. It'll serve as a great distraction and def. mess up her hair.-

LIFERA: -She's up here too, maybe not quite first because it seems Jolene beat her to the PUNCH.... quite literally, and also gravity is a thing she had to wait on, but she lands on the ship, trident scraping the hull with her impact.-

ROXY: =AM HECKIN ARRIVE=

DIRK: -hello bitches indeed, dirkjakeroxy drops the fuck in-

QIRIN: =It took her a while, but she's here now, stowing away the magnetic grappling hook and trading it for her spear.=

DAVENFORTH: Gangs all here nice

)(IC: -NOT HER HAIR??? stupid lil johnny... she lets it swoop her back, getting a good distance from the group forming in front of her.- whale look at the tricks u all got up ur sleeves now

JAKE: -NOT HIS GRANDMA YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!!!-

JOHN: -HE HOPES YOU LIKE IT IN YOUR FACE AND MOUTH AND EVERYWHERE.- you got a lot to answer for, you dirty old lady. >:O

DAVENFORTH: Really

)(IC: buoy im in the prime of my life 38)

)(IC: as such i aint gonna waste my breath on ya

)(IC: -the jewel of her tiara flashes a symbol in brown while she also... dusts something on the ground?? a second later, they can hear several SPLASHES as creatures of the deep launch themselves out of the water, and then proceed to hitch a ride up to the ship.-

)(IC: -HERE COME THE WATER BABIES. big, furry clawed crabs zoom in on top of a giant... flying nautilis. they drop down in front of the group then, as their wet bodies ACTIVATE THE SPECIAL not star DUST she laid on the ground. the sea monkeys return. and this time they have company: fighty crabs.-

DAVENFORTH: Not these fuckers again

ROXY: keep ur nastyasss crabs to urself >:( 

ROXY: =GUN OUT=

DAVENFORTH: Watch out for those slimy fucks they release noxious fumes when they die and just in general

[The crabs PUT UP THEIR DUKES and lunge at the others. And it's true, the slimey sea monkeys are already spreading their weird stonk as they ooze around the ship's surface. It's going to disorient them in no time.]

JOHN: -He dissipates the tornado. Gotta save energy.-

[The Nautilus seems to be minding it's own business up in the sky... FOR NOW.]

ROXY: fine then.... =HOCKEYSTICK TIME, BATS EM=

JOHN: -And instead he hurls a gust of wind at the onslaight of "babies". They're not very cute.-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOOM-

QIRIN: =Good plan, Lalonde! She is also doing the same, only with her spear=

JOHN: -He's zipping around, not staying in one spot.-

LIFERA: -NOT THE WEIRD STONK.-

LIFERA: -SHE FIGHT!!-

ROXY: =She's going to try and smack one of the bugs right at Condy.... and by one she means 20000=

DAVENFORTH: -He's on the move, flashing around and kicking sea monkeys at Condy-

ARADIA: -using psiioniics to attempt to smash one of the water babies into a group of them. Defeating from within-

[WOOSH. The gases disperse with John's wind, but the sea monkeys seem to glue themselves to the floor... Well, most of them. Some go flying into Condy's face. But she mostly just seems inconvenienced by it-- AND THEN THESE ASSHOLES START CHUNKING THEM AT HER.]

)(IC: --

)(IC: -STARTS PLAYING BASEBALL AND KNOCKS THEM BACK. she hiss.-

ROXY: i play zelda bitch i am all about THIS =SMACK=

DAVENFORTH: -KICKS a couple into the crabs-

JOHN: -FWOOOOOSH. And finally...when the dust settles....IT'S HAMMER TIME. He's been wanting to test this baby out.-

)(IC: -floats up to avoid it that time- nice try

[The crabs wobble!! But they are loyal and persistant, leaping at Davenforth and Roxy in particular. Dog pile.]

[MEANWHILE, the Nautilus takes this as a sign to step in, aiming it's tentacles in John's direction. It wiggles, sending off pulses of psychic waves at him before turning towards the other air born one, Aradia, doing the same at her. They are STRONG.]

ROXY: EUGH ROXY: =PUNCHES a crab with her brass knuckles, get cracked bitch=

[WHERE'S THE BUTTER?? It cracks and rattles into another crab. There is much scrambling happen.] DIRK: -tag team, he comes up, stabbing his sword into the crack in the shell to pierce the sweet meats beyond.-

DAVENFORTH: -Surges towards the crab, aiming a slice at a joint that connects its claw and arm.-

JAKE: -SHUCKS!!!!!!!! Peppering these sea monsters with bullets aplenty. HE'S HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH TENTACLES AND CRABS AND TERRIBLE AWFUL FISH PUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-

JOHN: -can you dodge psiionic waves? because he's being very dodgy he's going to try to ZIP AWAY. But it is an ATTEMPT and it may FAIL.-

JOHN: -not all fish puns are bad, jake :( just when bad people do them.-

ARADIA: -using more telekinesis abilities to throw the crabs into each other. Fights fighty crabs-

ARADIA: -OH SHIT. IS THIS PSYCHIC WAVE DODGEABLE. She's gonna try-

ROXY: =She's punching all these cra-.. wait.... FLIPS one=

[Okay, so it's easy enough for OTHER flying targets to dodge... But the same cannot be said of the folks on the ship, because the beams are now headed straight for them. So if anybody isn't paying attention, they're gonna potentially get knocked off the ship.]

JOHN: -THIS HAPPENS TO HIM. He's blasted backwards. GOOD FUCKIN BYE.-

[John tried so hard and got so far... But i nthe end, it doesn't even matter.]

DAVENFORTH: -Someone wanna grab the bara doctor-

JOHN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

[Also crab: is flip. IT WIGGLES ANGRILY.]

ARADIA: -GOT YOU. SWOOPS to John-

ROXY: =LMAO--DOOF, slides=

JOHN: -my hero! he c: at her for a second.-

ROXY: =WHY DOES IT GOTTA BE SO CUTE AND SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS=

ROXY: =oh shit wait a minute..... disappears=

ARADIA: -smiles back and brings him back up to the ship. PLOP DO YOUR THING-

[The crab is confused... Where did she go??]

QIRIN: =literally has to dive out of the way and almost falls off the ship regardless, hanging on to one of the ships enormous prongs.=

JOHN: -HE GOES UP REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLY HIGH. And tries to come back down with his hammer at full force. He's aiming for that weird shelflish thing from the top. Maybe it won't see him above it's shell?-

JOHN: -it's always worth experimenting, ppl.-

ROXY: =APPEARS above the naughty nautilus. She's gonna kick it in the shell...... land on top of John's hammer for Xtra force=

DAVENFORTH: -Scoots away to help Qirin. Get you some good footing bb-

JOHN: -raises eyebrows in surprise but does not stop. let's do this crazy shit, rocks my socks.-

[In the middle of all this scrambling, most of the sea monkeys have gotten squished... So the cloud of gas they've given off is starting to waft gently towards anybody near. But at least they're squashed?? Also these things are not as effective outside geez.]

ROXY: =;) =

QIRIN: =omg thank you. She shakily grabs onto his arm and gets solidity under her feet again.=

[THE COMBINED EFFORTS OF JOHN AND ROXY is more then enough to take the beastie off guard, and the nautilus is launched right into the hammer. IT BASICALLY EXPLODES from the force of both of these things.]

)(IC: 38/

JOHN: -LAUGHING MANIACALLY-

ROXY: =BITCHIN. Does a flip off the hammer up into the air... she is the heckin ball and does many turns in the air back to the ship=

DIRK: -zip zip zoom on the hoverboard again, he snatches jake away to avoid getting gassed while he also evades the fumes. and while he's on here, might as well knock some of the crabs back into the ocean since a good portion of them are cracked and/or filled with holes.-

ARADIA: -telekinetically focusing to try and work the crabs not being handled by dirk right into the condesce's head-

JAKE: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. What are enemies if Jake can't wreck them with his fists??? Or his guns??? So much gunfire.-

DAVENFORTH: -Dusts Qirin off.- Be careful alright

ROXY: =unfurls and releaes a battle cry, shoots spinning green drills from her fists at Condy. PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH= AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! >:U

JOHN: -RAISES FIST IN THE AIR AS ROXY DOES THIS- yEAH!!!

)(IC: -HISSSSSSSS!! fine, enough SEA MONKEYING AROUND. the trident is up, spinning to deflect crabs AND green drills. she can even believe roxy wasted all that time and energy practicing with these gotdam cubes when she coulda been makin orbs. unreal...-

ROXY: =suck my bootyhole dingus! but she lands on the ship with an oof and rolls to run off again=

JOHN: -Since there's nothing stnading in his way he's going to ZOOM to the other side of Condy, to help Roxy's onslaught, summoning some wind to back up the force of Zilly. FRAYMOTIF, BITCH.-

ROXY: =BATTLE BROYALE=

)(IC: -DOOF!! she takes the hit with few other options, but as she's launched, she recovers after digging her trident into the ship's hull and using the momentum to rock and roll and ride this poll, swinging back towards john ready to kick him in the FACE.-

ARADIA: -focuses her energy on John in an attempt to speed him up. With psionics? Or time magic? Who knows-

JOHN: -well he was GOING to get kicked in the face, but...something is happening to him and he does the opposite of getting kicked in the face.-

ROXY: =WOW= ROXY: =She's got your back John, here comes... A BEAUTIFUL PONEE, It's green, it's mechanical with a heart on it's ass and it stampedes all at Condy's general area=

JOHN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! -This is all very confusing and surreal, so he does what he does best and screams incoherently as his unkicked face CHARGES.-

)(IC: oh thats some bullship -there's presumably a tangle of hair, john, and a beautiful pony happening as everyone collides all at once. THIS IS STUPID!! flashes everywhere as she flails... but then remembers she, too, has psionics and as red and blue flashes around her, she sends john and the horse flying in opposite directions from her person. she takes to the sky, trident finding it's way back into her hands.-

JOHN: -This time with feeling- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

ROXY: GET BACK HERE

ROXY: =Musky young lady shakes fist at the sky=

QIRIN: =CHUCKS a throwing knife at her as she ascends= Coward.

JOHN: -He gets flung PRETTY DAMN FAR, but he can float so it's easy enough to stop himself as she makes an imposing figure from above. EL SQUINTO up at her.- ok enough fucking around. -HE STARTS CHANNELING AS MUCH ENERGY AS HE CAN, wind and blue light flurying around him It's going to take a little while but...-

ROXY: =Looks at John chargin up his laser.... she runs over gaunltets out. LAUNCH ME BRO=

ROXY: =i'm gonna punch her in the tit=

DIRK: -zips around behind condy so his jake shaped rail gun can riddle her with bullets and distract her while john, yes, charges his laser. it's a good time.-

ROXY: =bruh...=

JOHN: -yea he hates to just float here being a sitting duck, but this takes so much concentration for him he can't even really focus on moving around.-

)(IC: -gdi... her hair seems to eat bullets, so she's just kind of annoyed and trying to stab her trident at dirk and jake flying around her.-

DIRK: -oh shit... hold onto your butts, this is gonna take some tricky maneuvering to avoid.-

JOLENE: -does roxy still need someone to launch her? because jojo is here with her rocket boots, ready to help and then also propel herself for another sucker punch...-

ROXY: =Take me to the skies hot mama=

JOHN: -Well it's not exactly a LASER, as it turns out. What happens is he just FADES out of existence in a gust of wind.-

JOHN: ~!!

JOHN: ~~~

ROXY: =goodbye forever...... but she assumes.... he's, that's on purpose... you go baby.. she believes in u=

ARADIA: -there he go-

JOLENE: -so long space cowboy... she's here, grabbing up roxy and flying into the sky with her. they zip around for a moment before she builds enough momentum to aim and drop roxy at condy. PUNCH HER TIDDY!!!-

JOHN: -I'M LEAAAVIN ON A JET PLANE. DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK AGAIN~-

ROXY: =HERE COMES ME!!!!! FLIES IN FIST FIRST!!!!!!=

JAKE: -CLINGING TO DIRK IN SHEER TERROR. He's so useless in this battle and is probably crying a little bit. All he can think about is getting home to his babies.-

ARADIA: -any loose debris on the ship? It's flying at condy-

DAVENFORTH: -He's riding a piece of it at her if so. Surprise bitch. Get this sword slash-

)(IC: -this is honestly such bullshit... they're all like a bunch of annoying flies buzzing around her, and she's had it up to here with it. first roxy gets slapped the fuck out of her face with a swipe of her trident, then turns davenward, psionics the sword out of his hands, and turns it right back around on him.-

ROXY: =Doof, BITCH=

JOHN: -MATERIALIZES BEHIND HER. SURPRISE!!! She's gonna catch this hammer. If he makes a sucessful roll-

QIRIN: =This is so stupid. She needs to get a pair of rocketboots or wings or=

SOLLUX: -It's difficult for him to keep up with what exactly is going on, but he can tell shit is getting precarious. Condy isn't the only one with psionics -- he's going to send a wave of them at her, one he's been building up for the right moment, to identify where she is and that everyone else is far enough away.- SOLLUX: -Well, everyone except John.-

LIFERA: DAV-E--!

DAVENFORTH: -Um. Excuse? There's a pained noise of confusion as his body is pinned to the ship with his own sword. This is an all too familiar feeling now, the cold creeping in, the ebbing of his senses. The darkness creeps in while he gurgles for breath that won't come.-

ROXY: =BRUH TF=

QIRIN: =From her throat escaped a soft cry as she watched Davenforth become impaled to the hull. She's rushing toward him, her mind already running through the list of potential injuries, how to stop the blood loss, how to stitch him back up when they are so far from any medical facility and so far off the ground..=

)(IC: -john's strike ends up launching her right into sollux's blast. she lets out an enraged noise as her flesh burns, but still, she's too strong-- the pain only seems to fuel her as she returns fire right back at sollux in overwhelming beams of red and blue.-

ARADIA: -her cheeks are streaked with fresh tears-

DAVENFORTH: -Twitch-

DIRK: -everything is happening so fast, he isn't sure what to focus on first-- but he should probably focus on FLYING or getting off the hoverboard otherwise he's gonna crash him and jake... oops too late.- FUCK! DIRK: -takes a nasty spill onto the ship.-

JOHN: ugh! fuck! dammit. -for just a split second second, he's torn on what to do, go help davenforth or attack condy again???-

SOLLUX: -And he holds his hands out -- they're bright enough that even he can see them, feel the sizzling heat in the air, and he's holding her blast back with his own psionic force, the power of the blasts enough to muffle the scream in his throat.-

QIRIN: =she knows taking it out will only make him bleed faster and she cannot hide the underlying panic in her voice as she touched his cheek, trying to pat him into conciousness.= Dave? Dave, stay awake!

ROXY: =HOLD UP!! She disappears again and tries to be quick about it=

ROXY: =tap dances anxiously in the void=

LIFERA: -No, no, no,

no.

This isn't happening. He isn't-- LIFERA: -He's right there. He was right there, just a second ago...- LIFERA: -Everyone was. Everyone was just right there.-

JOHN: -flinches. he has to shake off all the screaming. he can't do any more for davenforth right now than quirin could. he has to fight. he rides another gust of wind, trying to stay out of the crackling blast of psiionics going on between condy and sollux.-

JOHN: -and charges, yet again.-

JAKE: -Vision jarred and blurred from tears, Jake sees some terrible things as he crashes with Dirk. Hears them, Jake doesn't think he's ever going to be able to shake the images and sounds out of his skull.-

ARADIA: -as much as she wishes she could interfere. She can't. And so the tears keep coming-

JOHN: just fucking die already!!!

ROXY: =APPEARS up above the battle, hoping she can stop this. droppin in a worm style concrete donkey=

)(IC: -HURK. with all her concentration on the optic blast, roxy knocks her out of it and the remainder of sollux's blast sends her flying off onto the other side of the ship.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's no response. It was shocking how damn hearty Davenforth was in the first place. But the fact remained: He was dying, quickly. The only signs of life were the occasional gasp for breath, or twitching of the body. It's not long before he's motionless.-

SOLLUX: -hovers there, panting. He's still upright. That's... something.-

ROXY: =oh thank lort, that took a lot out of her she wheeze=

DIRK: -THANK JESUS FOR THAT. he's scrambling to get up to his feet, helping jake with him.-

ROXY: =ughhhh her body hurts, concrete donkey why are you so merciless=

SOLLUX: -He seems to waver, dizzy, as he floats to touch down on the roof of the ship, and he seems to remember something suddenly. He reaches into his sylladex and pulls out a pair of tyrian-colored goggles.-

SOLLUX: -They're cute. He tugs them onto his head.-

SOLLUX: c00l.

JOHN: -I'm going to say he SEEs this whether it makes sense or not. HE DEF. SEES YOU DO THIS, SOLLUX-

JOHN: -AAAaaaa-

QIRIN: Dave?? =she's tapping his face harder, her words more urgent.= Dave, look at me, do not... Dave!

JOHN: -Kind of screams incoherently again, with frustration, pain, anger. Yeah he's CHASING Condy wherever she's flying, chasing her with his HAMMER.-

ROXY: =she's right there with you john just... let her catch her breath=

JAKE: -He can't breathe, out of his mind in terror but follows Dirk's lead anyway. Please help him, he's so useless.-

JOHN: -He's tired too, but he's too mad. He'll just keep fighting until he passes out.-

JOHN: -The breeze carryijng her along might help her tho-

)(IC: -catches herself with her trident again, leaning on it heavily with a hiss. she's down, but not out.- )(IC: -aims another blast in the direction of the chump coming at her.-

JOHN: -He counters the psiionic blast with a Breezy blast of his own. He doesn't know if that works like that, but if it does maybe it'll give Roxy some time.-

JOHN: -If it doesn't work well...HE'S GOING TOO FAST TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS-

ROXY: =okay, yeah.... back into the fray... she inhales then starts to run in that direction... looking at Davenforth one last time then SPRINTING. Here comes a chubby brown roundhouse=

SOLLUX: -whether or not it works like that, he's swooping in to try to intercept it anyway -- he's not letting John get fried today, and these things are bright enough for him to detect. He grits his teeth at the force it takes to rebound that energy for yet a second time -- and there's a metallic taste in his mouth.-

DIRK: -WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING??- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?? -okay, he's panicking now because that shit is no joke. between sollux and his uncle-- he can't just keep standing around. the sword's back out, he's flash stepping in there to join roxy in an attempt to strike condy while she's dealing with sollux and john.-

)(IC: -yes, sollux very much saved john right there... and she isn't about to be duped again, she blinks away the blasts, rolling off the side to avoid roxy's kick and the remainder of sollux's attack. maybe if she's lucky roxy will get fried.- DIRK: -but she's going to have to deal with him flying in at her!!-

)(IC: -which she does... swiping her trident at him, catching him at the end of her prongs and sending him flying in another direction. ally oop. she didn't pierce enough to rupture anything too much... PROBABLY. but whatever, she's taking to the sky again, breathing shallow.-

JAKE: -left behind to watch all this in green-eyed horror.-

ROXY: UGH! =misses!=

ROXY: =also owie zowie good thing for these gauntlets her hand is on fire while the other tries to catch the ship, OOF=

ROXY: =fuck, everyone's, flying and shit. ughhh=

JOHN: - He is non fried and yet still continues his dogged pursuit. He sends multiple powerful blasts of wind at her as he zips around, hoping to disorient or push her. He's sweating and breathing hard. Even staying in the air while he's doing this is starting to feel difficult. It's sapping all. his energy--

LIFERA: -She can't fly, but she can fucking JUMP. And that's exactly what she's going to do, leaping up high to try to follow the Condesce while she was distracted with everyone else. Sort of uncaring for the potential attacks she's leaping into the middle of. She's been running from this fight for long enough.-

SOLLUX: -There's a sort of white noise in his pan -- something like dull ringing that blots everything else out, including the thunkof how his body crumples onto the roof of the ship. It's all metallic and ringing and sort of peaceful.-

ROXY: =wUT=

ROXY: =That gets her up, no matter how tired she is= (fuck)

JOHN: - Sees this from above. no. -

QIRIN: =turns from Dave's fucking dead impaled body to see wtf that thunk was=

ARADIA: -standing on the ship, behind everyone else, watching. Watching what she's seen before. Watching what is supposed to be the better outcome-

)(IC: -grits her teeth at lifera. she might have found it funny just earlier this evening. it might have been fun to toy around with this guppy, who really believed she could ever wear the same mantle as her... but not anymore. as she tries to get her energy back, she focuses on stabbing her trident right at lifera.-

JOHN: -he curses to himself and gives up on the wind blasts for now while lifera distracts condy, changing directions and nyooming back down to where sollux fell. he couldn't save davenforth, but maybe sollux is still salvageable. god, he hopes so.-

DIRK: -he sits up, clutching his stomach that's been torn the fuck up by trident prongs. hhhhhh. he's... had worse... technically? watch this idiot try to stand.-

ARADIA: -she's gonna help you out dirk-

QIRIN: =even through she doesn't want to, she tears herself from Dave's side and joined John, stooping to her knees across from him on Sollux's other side. She had to help the living.=

QIRIN: John? =There is everything in the question, medically speaking and everything else.=

JOHN: -he lands by sollux's crumpled up body- i think he had an anyeurism. psiionic burnout. let's try compression.

ROXY: =UGHHH, DIRK.....=

JOHN: -HES' GONNA ...TRY HIS DAMNDEST. to resuscitate.-

ROXY: =so much is happening right now.... Qirin and Aradia have them boys but she's just gauging how much more she can do rn and gurgling anxiously but there's also fighting fish. It's a lot to take in=

LIFERA: -Her trident is extended, too, and there's a determined fury in her eyes as the two of them soar to meet one another.-

LIFERA: -And a pain her chest. She knows it impaled her. But she's strong, too, and it's just enough that maybe she has an opportunity to strike back, that one window where if she can do something...-

LIFERA: -She thrusts her trident, but she can't tell if it hits. Another moment later, her body is wrenched off of the Condesce's spear points, and there's nothing below her to catch her, no way for her to keep herself airborne. She begins to fall toward the lake.-

ROXY: =MMMNNGN GDI=

ROXY: =Welp... here goes the remainder of her juice.... if she has enough.... LEAPS=

SOLLUX: -There's blood from his mouth, his ears, filling up the lenses of the goggles. Whatever life is in him, it's fading fast. John's efforts have his body responding for a moment, and then... nothing.-

JOHN: - he tries again and again. when chest compression fails he tries mouth to mouth despite it getting his mouth all bloody. he feels chilled, right down to the bone. this can't be happening. He has to be able to save him-

ROXY: =She feels like something terribad just happened.... mmmnng, she's diving for Lif, gonna cling on you girly and travel them through the void at least back up to the deck..... sorry for the momentum if she catches her in time=

LIFERA: -CATCH, DOOF. She wasn't expecting anyone to come after her... and she's still conscious, surprisingly, as she blinks at Roxy, mouth twitching in a smile even as she bleeds out.-

ROXY: =GDI NO=

ROXY: =she can't even void up gauze or anything she's just panting and like.... pressing on these wounds. STOP bleeEDING YOU FUQ=

QIRIN: =she's sitting there silent as John does his work.=

LIFERA: -She refuses to stop keep bleeding.-

LIFERA: -But she does move a hand to lay it over one of Roxy's on her chest, just... quiet. A silent request. This is more than she expected... and more than she could have hoped for.-

)(IC: -lifera got a lucky hit... there's fuchsia dripping down her middle, and as she sputters, she takes a moment to look around. she can't believe the impact they've all managed to make on her, on her forces... all that hard work rebuilding an empire and it's all about to go up in smoke.-

)(IC: -she's only got one last trick up her sleeve -- something she borrowed. thanks, lil jamison. she remains airborn, a white aura forming around her. this is it, this is her last hope. at least they're all pretty distracted while she works on charging it up...-

ROXY: =She's not your biggest fan but there's a lot of death and watching an, admittedly, pretty reformed fish lady die under her hands is something that has her bawling. Wtf :'''( =

JOHN: - stupid noodle you've got two beautiful husbandos that I love and children and a moirail that just came back to life and you're wearing feferisgoggles and you saved him YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE. -

ROXY: =bitch dun u dare=

DIRK: -he's disoriented from the spill he took, and the blood loss, so he just kinda... leans on aradia while also trying to guide them in the vague direction of other people.- Sollux?

ROXY: =She's not going to stop holding Lifera's hand but also. Suns out, guns out Conds she will bip a bitch between the eyes and will if she can fire one off=

ARADIA: -holds onto dirk tightly because she knows what's coming and she's crying about it already and she has to be strong for dirk right now as they come closer-

JOHN: - he tears himself away in frustration...and just IS MORE UPSET THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. he thinks about saying something... but he just can't. instead he lifts into the air again. to keep fighting. and now he's covered in yellow blood. *

LIFERA: -Roxy's gun -- the determination in her face -- is the last thing she registers before she decides to close her eyes. She managed it. Maybe now she can rest.-

QIRIN: =She's sitting quietly, noticing that more and more time passed without a sign of life. When John left, she carefully arranged Sollux's body, straightening his legs and folding his hands over his chest.=

ROXY: =NO. >:( =

JOHN: - maybe he has enough juice left to help Roxy. He nyooms away towards her NOT looking back at the ground.

ROXY: =John... FUSE WITH ME=

JOHN: - OH HE WOULD. IF THAT WAS A THING HE COULD DO. BUT NAH. he's just gonna pour everything he's got into one last fraymotif. he's so tired. -

QIRIN: =When she finished, Qirin rose to her feet and walked back to Davenforth. Gripping his sword, she pulled it free, catching him with her other arm as gravity took him. Her face was drawn into an expressionless mask as she carried him over to Sollux, arranging him the same way.=

DIRK: -aradia is crying, so... that could only really mean one thing. haha, fuck.

Fuck. they make it to sollux and he's so light headed he just lets himself drop to his knees next to him.-

DIRK: You... fuck. -what else do you even say in a situation like this? that's always been his response to sollux doing stupid shit, so why should now be any different.-

DAVENFORTH: -Unfortunately, as she pulled on the sword there was a cracking as the hilt separated and shattered, still leaving the blade in his chest. Unbreakable sword my ass.-

JOHN: - he looks really haggard, glancing at Roxy and then back at Condy. - what should we do? i think this is our last shot.

ARADIA: -lowers herself next to dirk-

JOHN: - w/e she's doing it'd be best if they don't let her fuckin do it-

QIRIN: ..... =That....just about does it. When that happens and she has to actually pull him off his own sword, she has to close her eyes for it, trying to retain the calm that centuries of being queen had demanded.=

QIRIN: =Davenforth and Sollux side by side, she stood over them even as the remnants of the battle raged below. She couldn't bring herself to face Dirk when he arrived, and despite herself one tear escaped and dripped down to the bodies lying still.=

QIRIN: =another rolled down her cheek.=

QIRIN: =and another.=

QIRIN: =one after another tears flowed freely from her eyes until her vision clouded and she could no longer make out their features. She says nothing and makes no sound.=

DIRK: -leans foreward -- which fucking hurts, given his injury, and just... rests his head on sollux, taking up his hand tight. he doesn't know what to think or feel, what he expected... he just knows he wants to hold onto that last bit of warmth.-

ROXY: =This fish lady has gone full cold..... she just stands up to John, winded as she is= lets fuckin.... grand slam this shit hff tbh =SO DETERMINED SO ANGER=

JOHN: - he looks at her gratefully. that was p much what he wanted to hear. - alright. let's do it. - he'll try. -

JAKE: -It's so painful to be conscious of reality. Watching Sollux fall and Dirk get flung in a slow searing pain of events for Jake. Davenforth was down. Lifera. It's happened before. The will of some cruel monster that took everything he loved, and warped it into something unrecognizable. And all Jake could do was stand there and watch it all happen from a distance. Far, far away like he was doomed to do it seemed. But why? Why? Why??

JAKE: -Stares and stares. Stares so hard, the tears at the edges of his eyes feel like they're burning off his face. All by the sheer weight of his agony and his willingness to COMMIT to this reality.-

JAKE: -This was real. Jake English was real and he finally believed it.-

ROXY: =LATCHES to him= beam us tf up scottie >:/ =she flexes her core and just. Push through the pain. les do dis=

JOHN: - HE BEAMS THEM THE FUCK UP. Using every last bit of energy he has to do it. But there's more than there should be, there's more energy than just him. And John doesn't know it, but the only reason he can come in this hard and fast, carrying Roxy with him- is because Jake believes in it. *

JAKE: -It's as John and Roxy prepare to take off that Jake sees it in the line of his vision. Finally. It was like looking into a glass sphere, the tapestry of everything that he ever perceived. It was framed by a surge of energy, the picture-perfect essence of why any of this mattered.-

JAKE: -He could hear it speak in whispers, washing over him until EVERYONE IN THE MILES WIDE DISTANCE OF THE BATTLEFIELD is tuning in on it like some kind of ridiculous radio. Hushed sounds that brought to one's mind the feeling of being a child again... the warmth. The comfort of being told there was so much more than the creatures hiding in the dark. The bump on their knee. The breaks in their hearts.-  

JAKE: -The raw light pulls at Jake, until he feels himself pulls back. With the simplicity of rushing water, the feeling was pooling into his soul. Heating his brain, spilling out of his very being with the inability to contain it all.-

JAKE: -The very air begins to crackle with such HEAT. Reality was warping, tearing itself apart in gashes of blinding bright light. Gravity doesn't exist anymore, the world is closing in on Jake ... until he starts to rise. Higher, brighter, and more powerful than the Condesce will ever think to be. -

JAKE: -It's suddenly clear to everyone HOPE WAS ALIVE. And it intended to stay that way.-

ROXY: =She feels this surge of energy, she's holding to John, clipping them in and out of the void as they gather up speed and MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE VELOCITY as John rockets them through it=

ROXY: =Blips them right in her fucking grill. TIME FOR A DUO UPPERCUT TO THE GD CHINBITS=

JOHN: - He's never really felt like this before it's like... not exactly a happy feeling. In fact, it feels like too much, he wants to scream but it's moving him. either way. And his hammer is following the arc of energy-

QIRIN: =When she was a child, she was far more volatile than this. Far less in control. Far less a Queen. She was free then. And feeling it now she wanted to share that freedom and live like she had long before her coronation. A quiet sob, full of heartache and unsaid things, escaped her at last.=

)(IC: -all last ditch efforts to believe in herself and her empire are snuffed out – dwarfed in comparison to what real hope feels like. the white light around her is drowned in the much more powerful one coming off of jake and it's blinding. yet for a moment, it's enough for her to feel what he feels, believe what he believes, and it's not quite like anything she's ever experienced before.-

)(IC: -john and roxy had already done a good number on her, but there's no hope in this particualr situation for her as her face gets brutalized by a fucking rocket punch and hammer of friendship. there she goes... but a sparkle in the sky... until she comes crashing down into the water below.-

JOHN: -TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIN-

ROXY: =B Y E B I T CH. She also looks at all that heat. All that raw power Jake was putting out near those fresh bodies. Her arm found it's way around John's. Flexing to squeeze it..... they were leaders..... now time to be friends. Get their friends outta there. Lets free fall into it homeboy=

JOHN: -It's not like they can communicate...but in a way they kind of can, now that they're using their magic together, it has a sort of rythmn. In any case, he understands what she wants him to do, or at least the Heir of Breath does.-

ROXY: =Don't make it gay John. Only do. Time to get everyone up outta there. Swirls of blue and black on the deck. bubckle up babes let's get he snuzz outta here=

JAKE: -Clouds, wind, and debris is being pushed with the massive volume of this hope field. It's raw emotion in its most simple form. Basic motivation and the sheer force of Jake's will begins to manifest into a form. Serpentine and winged as VENGEFUL SCREAMS erupt from their mouth. The first sounds of their beings.-

JAKE: -So much hopelessness and despair drawn to one place. The angels turn their sightless gaze on nothing but the SS CONDESCENSION. Suddenly, they're cutting through the air in swift, cruel movements. Ripping the entirety of the bright red ship hull apart in their rage and hunger.

JAKE: -Always hungry.-

JOHN: -how can he make it gay when the gay was always in his heart the whole time.-

JOHN: -Also yeah, holy shit. White hell just opened up. It's time to SKEDADDLE. As Roxy's void magic starts to pull them, John's magic wraps protectivley around them and expands it. THEY'RE ALL GETTING TELEPORTED.-

JAKE: -Suddenly in a giant boom of what is unmistakably Jake's voice.- HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN!

ROXY: =Both of you... plz=

JOHN: -that was the single most terrifiyng thing he ever heard.-

DIRK: -I'm laughing I'm crying it feels like I'm dying-

JOHN: -It was like hearing God speak and God said: HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN-

QIRIN: =When the winds died down from transport, Qirin eventually sunk to her knees and adjusted Dave's sunglasses on his nose. Brushing his hair from his eyes, she glanced up at their surroundings. Where was Lifera?...they should be placed together.=

JAKE: -It hurts to feel this much. Have it tear up his insides and he knows... for every up, there must be a down. Gauging time was impossible for Jake but he certainly wasn't going to be conscious enough to try.-

JAKE: -The brightness of the field begins to wane, the angels disappear. Jake's eyes droop until he's lurching forward. Falling... falling... falling... way down into a pit of dark quiet.-

JOHN: - when this shit is said and done, he's also passing out.-

JOHN: -literally, fainting.-

ROXY: =yo same.... jake tho she reaches for them then conks tf out ugh=

ARANEA: -before jake's lows literally take him into the depths, a pixie who had been watching all this chaos swoops in to save him. it's alright, now... she only hopes it doesn't look like she's trying to square away her past mistakes by rescuing this man. but the hope he's given everyone to finish this fight... it's something to be cherish, it's something to be preserved.-

ARANEA: -she carries him back to the others, zig zagging through remnants of the battle on the lake -- the forces are being driven back now and the rebels are celebrating all around them. it's over now and they won. for once, they won against the empire.-

ARANEA: -sets jake down with the others with nothing to say. it isn't her place... and well, everyone is passed out now, at best. she only helps mend any wounds she can with her own powers.-

JAKE: -Only deams of brain ghosts and tropical islands now.-

[Relief comes by way of the rebels until the UU arrives. It scoops everyone away and finds a place to lay low before they think about taking to space again. They earned a little time to rest at home.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 27

DEREK: -after some time passes and folks get patched up, derek's nestled into whatever spot he can find... probably wedged up against the wall next to the back doors of the truck.-

ROXANNE: -Same, shes held up in the back as well, feeling weary as fuck after all of that. But, despite it all, she still cant manage to even entertain the thought of sleep and so she just silent wipes the gross paint off her face.-

DEREK: -looks over at her, sitting up a little more.- How you holdin up?

ROXANNE: -Wordlessly gives him a thumbs up.-

ROXANNE: Good as im gonna' get.

QIRIN: =is just screaming internally about this eye, but she takes out qtips, rubbing alcohol, and some gd tweezers to get all the junk out of Davenforth's face.=

DAVENFORTH: -HISSES loudly at her-

ROXANNE: -Take your medicine, dude.-

DAVENFORTH: -JUST TAKE THE FUCKING EYE HOLY SHIT-

QIRIN: You realize if I do not do this, you could potentially lose vision in your eye?

DAVENFORTH: Fuck it call me patchy ill get over it

DEREK: -glances at them... ok so people are still getting patched up-

QIRIN: You realize if you lose vision in your eye, your depth perception will be off until you relearn how to fight?

DEREK: -looks back at roxanne- We made a pretty sweet team back there though.

DAVENFORTH: You dont relearn how to fight you just get used to fighting with shitty perception just like you get used fighting with a searing fucking migraine

DAVENFORTH: These glasses arent even prescription

ROXANNE: Yeah, guess we did. ROXANNE: first time tryin to assassinate anyone, think it went pretty alright.

DAVENFORTH: -He won't admit how sloppy it was. How sloppy HE was...-

QIRIN: I do believe you would prefer fighting with adequate perception rather than the shitty variety. =tries to get him to stay put= I am certain you will thank me later. =Brandishes her tweezers. They're patterned with Hello Kitty.=

DAVENFORTH: -He's staying put, just complaining A LOT. Is he being himself? Is he upset? Who knows. Qirin, Derek, and Lif probably do.-

DEREK: Yeah. DEREK: -glances at the floor- Sorry again for draggin yall into this.

ROXANNE: -She is pretty sure Davenforth is just upset because he got his face pounded by juggalo zombie freaks. Its completely understandable.- ROXANNE: Well its done now at least.

DAVENFORTH: -He's upset because usually he'd be able to take this on his own despite the bullshit and YET.-

QIRIN: =Good. Because she's going for a broken piece right now= QIRIN: =Chimes in though= No need. We all survived with minor injuries being the worst of it.

DAVENFORTH: -Mocks her voice- We were all able to survive with minor injuries excpet for you davenforth

QIRIN: :|

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

DEREK: -glances from the floor to roxanne again and rubs at the back of his neck.- Yeah. DEREK: Thanks Ro.

ROXANNE: -Dude.-

QIRIN: I meant to say that minor is not on the verge of death considering our track record.

ROXANNE: -Stares at Davenforth's rudeness before looking back at derek.- ROXANNE: No problem.

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles-

QIRIN: =mocks his mocking of her voice= We were all able to survive with minor injuries including you, Davenforth. QIRIN: Congratulations.

QIRIN: c:

DAVENFORTH: Dont fuckin patronize me

ROXANNE: (Jeez.) -Someone is grumpy.-

QIRIN: =plucks a shard from his cheek= QIRIN: You believe that I am concealing surperiority under a layer of false kindness?

DAVENFORTH: -Hisses softly- Sometimes

DEREK: -snorts a little at the exchange-

QIRIN: =Just...stares out the window for a brief moment= QIRIN: =she inhaled, like it was hard to say.= You are right. I apologize. It all could have gone poorly for us on the lawn. QIRIN: I did not intend- =She sighed= I am only grateful you were not... =There was significant pause before she finished= ....injured further.

DAVENFORTH: -That's.....not quite what he's expecting. Still he's wincing at the pain and letting her do her job- DAVENFORTH: Yeah well thank you that shit didnt

DAVENFORTH: me too

QIRIN: =She's really grateful. Look at the expression on her face.= QIRIN: I will not lecture you, Davenforth. There is very little I can say that will not brand me a hypocrite. QIRIN: I am aware of the sacrifice needed in order to see victory to the end. QIRIN: You did well and what is more, you came out of it alive. =She squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.= Not many can stake claim to that. =The larger shards were out - she would focus on the slivers later. Once she started in the more sensitive area, she had numbed his face with a shot and carefully began extracting shards that had gotten into his eye.

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi why are you so sweet....-

[With Kurloz and Eridan's connections, the ice cream truck was able to bypass all the pesky road blockades in record time, and soon enter the midwest. Hopefully none of you ate any of the juggalo ice cream, lest you get a wicked bad tummy ache... At least there is respite at the lake house in Minnesota.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 26, Get Off the Lawn

[The PARTY TRAIN is a-rolling... and given the sort of situation at and, they've officially reached a time when it's now-or-never. Indeed, the white house lawn-- and much of the DC area-- has been overtaken by massive, colorful circus tents, and BRIGHT, with BRIGHT, SHINING SPOTLIGHTS. Rolling up on this in Jeff's tiny train, it's amazed they aren't run over by what amounts to a media circus-- news vans and camera crews are practically EVERYWHERE, an enormous crowd of people behind velvet ropes and leaning over to watch the small trickle of juggalos entering the circus tents, surrounding the literal circus with a media circus. Despite this, there is no line for entrance to the carnival itself, the dark labrynth of twisting tents and attractions having only a single vendor jamming to horrorcore and a whole heap of INTERVIEWERS looking for a HOT SCOOP.]

[ It's a hell of a scene to look at from a distance. The white house itself isn't even visible beyond the DARK CARNIVAL.]

DAVENFORTH: -Peeps this.- What the shit actually

QIRIN: ... 

QIRIN: I have not yet determined whether a lack of a welcome party is good news or not.

PENNY: yeeeeeeeeEEEEHAW.

ROXANNE: -Euugh, she didnt really mind clowns until this very moment.-

[ Fortunately there are no clouns in IMMEDIATE sight. Just clown-adjascents.]

JEFF: =SWEATING SO MUCH and stays right where he is=

PENNY: -she's made up in clown paint and shit too, rattling her car. she's ready to be rowdy.-

PENNY: -NOT LIKE THEY CAN INFILTRATE REALLY GREAT AFTER BROADCASTING THEMSELVES BUT HEY. MAYBE.-

DEREK: -he's with you, penny... both in attitude and attire.-

KURLOZ: =takes one look around, scrunches up his nose=

[ The current question is: Who is in some kind of disguise, clown makeup or otherwise, and who is not? THE OTHER QUESTION is how close are they getting to the entrance? There is a clear path straight down the middle to the entrance-- with the only landmines being a few reporters and papparazos, and only the occasional fully-garbed Juggalo strides confidently through the entrance.]

RILEY: -this is some bullshit but they have to blend in. And she also refused to stay back by herself. So you win some and you lose some.- holy fuck.

DAVENFORTH: -He's wearing a latex Donald Trump mask. The biggest clown of them all-

RILEY: -DAAAAAAAMN-

ROXANNE: -Most people are getting down with the clown disguise and she is no exception, this is a serious mission despite the smile painted onto her face.-

QIRIN: =She loves you Davenforth, but she can't help but make a face at that mask=

DAVENFORTH: -Well if no one else is getting out, he is. Hello. This is gonna be yuuuuuuuge.-

REPORTER:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

REPORTER: -This one troll is scampering up for the FIRST and HOTTEST scoop-

REPORTER: We;; HE;;O and WE;COME to this historic occasion!

REPORTER: Wou;d you be wi;;ing to answer a few questions? For AMERICA?

DAVENFORTH: Anything for america of course no one loves america more than me if anyone claims as such theyre lying so many people ask me how can you love america and i tell them america is just so wonderful ill show you how much i love america its just the best

ROXANNE: -Davenforth plz.-

RILEY: -she's gonna lose it at this answer so she has to carefully cover her mouth and not mess up her make-up at the same time. Fucking ridiculous-

DEREK: Can I get a whoop whoop for America?

QIRIN: =She wants all this over with so she can get this horrific layer of oil off her face= QIRIN: Whoop whoop!

REPORTER: We;; A;; give a whoop whoop for America! -Makes sure she's in frame as a tubby cameraman holds up a few recording devices with telekinesis. HE LOOKS INCREDIBLY DISINTERESTED IN THIS WHOLE PROCSES.- REPORTER: Te;; the country how EXCITED you are to be taking part of the judicia; process in the first ever, hands-on pub;ic execution of justice on this FORMER;Y backwards world!

ROXANNE: -Stay strong Riley. She is also hoping off the train.- Whoop, lets go 'Murica!

PENNY: WHOOP WHOOOOOP!!!!

DAVENFORTH: Ill tell you this never again will there be so many whoop whoops the amount of whoop whoops today will just be staggering theyre all going to wonder why so many whoops were not had before and ill tell you the american will whoop again they will whoop like they never did before thank you so much

LIFERA: -she, too, is in clown makeup... and made up to look way more purple than she actually is.- 38D

RILEY: -fuck. - whoop fuckin' whoop.

REPORTER: -she is just plain FLABBERGASTED by this man's charisma-

PENNY: -leans and whispers to Qirin- (whats she mean public execution?)

QIRIN: =has a feeling that some pyropes would not take too kindly to the public execuction of justice of any kind= QIRIN: =just..again= Whoop whoop!

HIGHBLOOD: =Gets his bigass on up out here, picking his fangs=

QIRIN: (It is likely exactly what she means.)

REPORTER: One ;ast question! Are you hoping for a seat on the cabinet? Or are you just here for the exhuberant and divine joy of mass mu-- OH GOOD HEAVENS!

REPORTER: (ARE YOU GETTING HIM IN FRAME? GET HIM IN FRAME, ASSHOLE.)

REPORTER: -the other one pans up a bit to look at the Highblood's BIG OLD FACe.-

HIGHBLOOD: =HE'S A FRESH 600 SWEEPS MAYBE=

DAVENFORTH: Look at my my highblood caste friend over there just look at him look at my purple american friend

REPORTER: Ahahaha! Yes indeed, America! You are seeing it here first and best!

REPORTER: Even dishonored expatriates are eager to win their p;ace in the New America! REPORTER: I'm assuming that you are hoping for a spot on the cabinet, but-- oh!

REPORTER: Any statements you'd ;ike to make?

REPORTER: -HOLDS THE MIC UP TO GHB-

LIFERA: -really close to GHB... she is not comfortable now that the camera is in their direction...-

LIFERA: >38D;;

HIGHBLOOD: =Looks down at this reporter troll= HIGHBLOOD: ...... =leans on down, slowly, covering this tiny fish with his hair probably= HIGHBLOOD: hah HIGHBLOOD: haha...hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! =Big booming laughter, she don't even need the mic for this= HIGHBLOOD: =straightens up, lifts hand= no further inquiries sis. =strides his ass on=

REPORTER: -CLEARLY UNNERVED AND FORCING A FAKE SMILE-

DAVENFORTH: What an articulate speaker there he goes my clown american friend give it up everybody

REPORTER: ..... (:C

ROXANNE: -Dammn big clown, you go.-

LIFERA: -DOES SOME KIND OF DIMISSIVE HAND SIGN FROM UNDERNEATH THE HAIR. It's about all that can be seen of her as she strolls along-

[ The other seem to be TRYING to get an interview, but the circus itself beckons, and they're all a TEENSY bit intimidated by GHB's presence.]

DEREK: Much clown love from that jolly motherfucker amirite?

DAVENFORTH: -Falls in line with GHB- DAVENFORTH: You alright magilla

PENNY: hell motherfuck yeah my ninja. -leans against Derek with an entire bottle of Faygo.-

HIGHBLOOD: :o) HIGHBLOOD: alls am gonna get right and recalibrated

RILEY: -they're way too good at this-

RILEY: -sticks with lifers tho-

RILEY: -or you know...lifera-

PENNY: -IT'S TWO WHOLE LITERS.-

DAVENFORTH: Im calibrated get me and my bro a big enough distraction and ill get the rest taken care of

ROXANNE: -Shes trailing behind Davenforth to make this a clown entourage.-

[ The ticket taker, too busy jamming to bother stopping them or even explaining anything, could PROBABLY be hassled with a determined effort, but they could also slip right past if they didn't care about this guy's shit. ]

HIGHBLOOD: dones is done and done

HIGHBLOOD: =Would killing him be a determined effort=

[ no man he's pretty easy to kill ]

PENNY: -squeezing past and also quipping at the reporter now- yeah tell yallselves the fams gonna party real hard tonight. HATCHETS HIGH IN THE SKY.

DAVENFORTH: Thank you my clown american friend

LIFERA: -pulls Riley into the hair. join her.-

DEREK: Ill raise my faygo to that juggalette.

RILEY: -OOOOH HAIR TENT-

PENNY: -CACKLES-

RILEY: -it tickles-

DEREK: -CHUGS HIS OWN BOTTLE. its orange obv.-

LIFERA: -whispers to her- (Stick with me. If it gets dangerfish, I'll protect you.)

HIGHBLOOD: =He's a secret meeting place, good yes=

RILEY: (i'm swooning already. take me away.)

[ The carnival itself-- and oh, fuck, this is kinda dizzying. It's not set up like a regular carnival, with lots of games and attractions and flashing lights to attract attention and tokens, but rather, it's decorated with strung lights and smears of blood on the floor. Most of the blood appears to be human blood, and the lighting seems to turn at a dime from dim to blindingly bright. There are TONS of exits from this one circus tent alone-- at least five-- and it's hard to tell where the others lead to. Notes are scrawled on the canvas in blood, but most of them are extolling the virtues of mass murder, or the first few lines of JUGGALO PRAYERS.]

[ On a less severe note, the place is just sorta grody besides that. Like carnival grody.]

RILEY: ...

ROXANNE: -Nasty.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Makes face atthat scripture on the walls.= :o/

DAVENFORTH: -Stretches a little. Adjusts his tie.-

ROXANNE: -Also moves up next to Davenforth.- (Hey wall building homie. plan of route?) ROXANNE: -She ASSUMES he roughly has some sort of plan...please.-

DAVENFORTH: (They fucked this up a lot more than i thought it may take me a little bit to make out a route play along for now)

PENNY: -strides almost drunkenly along with Derek, but it's all just a ruse. She's just trying to seem nonchalant about this whole thing, eyes half-lidded and grinning, but her heart is pounding. This place is fucking weird.-

ROXANNE: (M'kay.) ROXANNE: (Is it also just me or does this place reek like a compost dump?)

RILEY: -you're doin' good lil sis.-

DAVENFORTH: (Welcome to juggalos lil mama)

DAVENFORTH: -Looks for a high point for him to clamber up and gain a better view-

ROXANNE: (Im already ready ta'say goodbye.) -Keeps smiling besides being anxious as fuck.-

[Tent poles, if he wants to shimmy. Once he gets high enough he can cut a hole in the canvas and peep out of it.]

LIFERA: -GIGGLING at Riley for a moment, but just keeps her hand on her arm and quiets again. That blood everywhere... humans are so fragile. She doesn't want anyone to be hurt here.- (I fish I cod!) LIFERA: (It smells like stale stank.)

DAVENFORTH: (Be right back yall) -Already shimmying up a tentpole-

DEREK: -he's got u penny. he's pretty zen himself, but pumped to be here and do this shit finally. pats the sisters shoulder, but guides the pair of them over to davenforth and roxanne so he can eavesdrop on their whispering-- oh but he ascends.-

DEREK: -bobs while he watches this-

PENNY: -that's not conspicuous at all... just fuckin tips up her two liter of faygo and drinks while watching this. this is normal.-

ROXANNE: -Look at him go.- ROXANNE: -Just gonna lean on that pole a little, its totally chill there is nothing suspicious going on here.-

[YOU KNOW HE LOVES TO SHIMMY]

RILEY: (honestly i've been liking the whole mouth breather thing.)

DAVENFORTH: -Shimmy shimmy coco puff. Shimmy shimmy now. Cutting this tent all up, what's he peepin now?-

LIFERA: (You shouldn't talk about your husband like that.) 38)

[The bright light from the Outdoors streams in through the hole he just cut-- and it's kind of a run, sure, but he can see the white house now that he's got a good vantage.]

DEREK: -damn..................... or should he say dwamn-

[There's actually a decent enough route BETWEEN the tents, if he commits it to memory-- leading right to the front door. It seems like the secret service has been co-opted by carnival attractions, though.]

DAVENFORTH: -Slides down the pole on some cirque de soleil shit-

DAVENFORTH: Alright got it its kind of a jog but nothin too bad lot of tents in the way

ROXANNE: -Steps away from it so he has room to get down.- ROXANNE: Sweet.

DAVENFORTH: -Looks at GHB- Everyone ready

PENNY: say the word homie.

RILEY: -she snorts at that comment lifera makes- (oh shit. nice.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Thumbs up and rolls his shoulders=

ROXANNE: Lets fuck shit up.

LIFERA: -glubs softly and nods! wait. peeks out of the hair and then nods!-

DAVENFORTH: -Pushes through the tent into the actual carnival itself and it's hitting him how fucking....CARNIVAL like this shit is. Oh...-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody like carnival games like i mean just for the record just asking for a friend a cheeto dusted friend

[READY OR NOT, here it comes. And by IT i mean the true nature of the Dark Carnival itself; it is where sinners are taken to be TESTED and learn the DARK MORALS of the joker cards. Indeed-- here's one now! The sinner in question is a human, gagged, blindfolded and tied, atanding underneath some kind of strength-tester machine-- the kind where you hit the lever and a big metal thingy flies up to ding a bell. Set up in such a way that after it goes up, it's going to come straight down on this dude's head, and guarded by a four-foot-five troll who is frankly built with terrifying muscles.-

ROBUSTO: YOU THINK YOU ARE AS STRONG AS ROBUSTO???? PROVE YOUR STRENGTH OR DIE LIKE COWARD-MAN WHO TELLS STATE SECRETS TO FOREIGN POWERS.

LIFERA: !!!

PENNY: -oh god yep here they go.....-

DAVENFORTH: -Whispers a reclaimed racial slur under his breath-

RILEY: (anybody tries to fucking do that shit i'll be the one whackin you over the head.)

HIGHBLOOD: =Ants=

ROBUSTO: -HOLDS UP AN ENORMOUS MALLET. It's wooden and heavy.- WHO WILL TAKE ROBUSTO'S CHALLENGE????

DAVENFORTH: And if we say fuck yourself with that righteous noise

DAVENFORTH: Just checkin for a friend

LIFERA: -soft hissing in this hair. She.... starts shuffling closer to Davenforth.- (Go. Keep going.)

DAVENFORTH: (Lif)

RILEY: - fucking striders-

ROBUSTO: -SQUINTS. And twirls his moustache.-

LIFERA: (Now.)

ROXANNE: -Hhgh. This is already another layer of hell, but also Davenforth dont call attention.-

HIGHBLOOD: testin strength...... HIGHBLOOD: =eyeballs Robusto= we can play this game while y'all check shit it :o)

ROXANNE: -Listen to your fish wife.-

LIFERA: -punches Davenforth in the shoulder and laughs-

DAVENFORTH: -Soft marge noise-

ROBUSTO: A-HA! ROBUSTO: FINALLY. ONE WHO IS NOT WEAK AND COWARD WHO FAILS TO WIN GLORIOUS HONOR OF BLOOD PRIZE DEAD MAN SHATTER SKULL.

ROBUSTO: -shoves the mallet in GHB's hand-

LIFERA: T)(IS MOT)(-ERFUCK-ER TOO WIMPY TO DO IT. G-ET OUTTA )(-ER-E.

RILEY: (jesus christ.)

DAVENFORTH: When that beat hits yall -We book it-

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST indeed-

DEREK: -he's ready to book it... sipping his faygo.-

ROBUSTO: -STRENUOUSLY FLEXES-

HIGHBLOOD: =This mallet is a toothpick isn't it? Look at his ham hands... but he takes it. Snrks=

HIGHBLOOD: =Crouches= :o)

LIFERA: -watches GHB carefully-

ROBUSTO: -FLEXES EVEN MORE-

ROBUSTO: ✨💪✨

RILEY: i would prefer not to have someone's blood on me but you know.

HIGHBLOOD: =Bops Robusto like a field mouse. Right on the cranium bro=

ROXANNE: -Ah, yep. There it is.-

DAVENFORTH: Cheese it

PENNY: -WELL JESUS-

ROXANNE: -Time to book it fellas and lady gents.-

RILEY: -OK BYE-

LIFERA: -WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT GETTING OUT OF HERE YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR THIS-

DAVENFORTH: -Bolts to the right and rips through the canvas. White house here we come!-

ROBUSTO: -oh MAN he takes a lump for sure. His head is CRACKED loudly and he holds up a finger in SHEER OUTRAGE- ROBUSTO: COWARD WIGGLER STRIKES ROBUSTO INSTEAD OF RUBOSTUS KILLMAN KILLING... ROBUSTING... ROBUSTO: ROBOTS??? ROBUSTO: -he falls over DEAD.-

DEREK: -throws this sugary shit on the dirty ass ground and flash steps after davenforth-

DAVENFORTH: -Babe I'm already gone. Kanye shrug-

HIGHBLOOD: =EYES the others and opens his arms= now now HIGHBLOOD: what else ams i testin?

ROXANNE: -YOU BOYS AND YOUR FLASH STEPING. She cant do that but she can sure sprint like hell after sending a glance to the rest of the group. Good luck guys.-

PENNY: -aaaaAAAHHHHH. SHAKES UP HER FAYGO FURIOUSLY and DUNKS it on the ground. it goes shooting up like a fucking rocket and sprays the crowd-

[The nearby juggalos murmur and mutter something. A few of them SCAMPER OFF, but a small group brandishes a set of hatchets.]

[Apparently this seems to indicate that they'd tie a rope to their dicks and jump off a building, should the mood strike them, but ALSO, that they think they can Totally take the guy that murdered Robusto.]

DAVENFORTH: -Well he don't wanna leave Rox behind. No flash stepping yet, but he's also sprinting around the perimeter of tents. It's hard to breathe in this Trump mask y'all.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't let him talk them out of it. There's gonna be a lot of blood back here as he will grab and squish skulls...sans for One. One he'll voodoo and have murderlate their pals.=

ROXANNE: -That is greatly appreciated.-

LIFERA: -grabs Riley's wrist and drags her behind GHB, toward the fucked up strength tester and the human that's tied up. She sure doesn't need to see this, and while that's happening, they could get this guy outta here-

PENNY: -she's just gonna uhhhh. stay outta GHB's way. yeaahhhh-

[I WILL SPARE U THE GORY DETAILS OF HOW DEAD THE GROUP IS. Except for the one guy hollering and raising his hatchet chasing after the other clowns. The others don't think there's anything fucked up about that, though, that just sorta happens sometimes.]

PENNY:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PENNY: -she's gonna need to get REAL fucked up after this-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's snickering as this happens, what a bunch of idiots. He's covering the ladies=

RILEY: -IS PULL. Looks up at this tied up Guy. SHES PRETTY GOOD AT UNTYING. Except when she isn't. She's going to do her best- okay dude you're going to run as fast as you can outta here.

LIFERA: B-ETT-ER Y-ET. -She unties the gag around the guy's mouth and the blindfold from his eyes, and then pulls out a little container of greasy black paint, smearing his face with it.- 38)

GUY: -wheezes.- th-thank you. Those people a-are... -TRYING NOT TO FOCUS ON THE GORE OVER THERE- GUY: ... GUY: don't eat the funnel cake. -As soon as he's free he BOLTS.-

HIGHBLOOD: yo what >:o/ HIGHBLOOD: how the fuck they fucked up funnel cake... dumb motherfuckers

LIFERA: Glub...

RILEY: no funnel cake over here.

QIRIN: =She doesnt even know how to comment to all of this=

LIFERA: Ocray... ST-EP BACK.

[It seems that this particular tent is cleared, save for some gruesome reminders. There are three other flaps; one leading back where they came from, near the ticket booth, one branching to the left and one branching to the right.]

LIFERA: -motions the other ladeez to get outta the way before doing a little half lean and then KICKING the strength tester to try to knock it down. NO MORE OF THIS.-

[ IT CRASHES.]

[CLONK]

QIRIN: =claps softly= Property damage, hurrah. ^_^

LIFERA: T)(ANKS.

QIRIN: =high five, lif!=

LIFERA: -SLAP-

LIFERA: Where to now?

[would they like to inspect any passages in particular]

[One leading back where they came, one to the right and one to the left.]

[There is the vague sound of music coming from the right... and the vague sound of someone furiously arguing to the left.]

QIRIN: =is is possible to hear what they are arguing about from here?=

[NOPE]

[u would have to get closer, and 'closer' means probably 'through the passage entirely.']

PENNY: -she's already heading toward the left one....-

[aw shit. If she makes it through, she'd see... well, someone who MAY or MAY not be recognizable to her.]

PENNY: -she's DOING IT.-

PENNY: -waves the others over-

[either way, it's the current secretary of state, one Alex Abbiss. He seems to be shouting down a group of juggalos-- some hatchet-wielding and TERRIFIED fellows who probably just saw Robusto get murdered.]

HIGHBLOOD: =Hey what's up hello, I murdered up your friend and now it's your turn to go=

[It is OBVIOUS that this is an important guy, and as they get closer to the man in a bloodstained jersey with a whole rack of vynyl records strapped to his back, they can hear what he's helling about-- how important he is and how NONE of these goddamned posers are gonna be gunning for HIS job, he MADE the ICP, do you HEAR HIM]

[This changes as he hears them enter, and FLINGS a razor-sharp record at them in a fury.]

PENNY: - SH I T-

PENNY: -JUST TRIES TO DUCK-

[she gets... a SMALL haircut. ]

[He's pulling some more records on them. HE'S READY TO TUSSLE.]

PENNY: -THAT MOTHERFUCKER.-

PENNY: -whips out her gun because... well, it's really the only thing she knows how to use, but it's gonna make a lot of noise...-

LIFERA: -leading Riley along after her??-

[The other juggalos seem to have fallen in rank behind him, because shit, okay, MAYBE they just tried to murder him, but they can also get in good with him if they kill these people? Whatever. IT'S A SURE FIRE RUCKUS HAPPENING, THAT'S FOR SURE.]

QIRIN: =oh hell WHY= QIRIN: =raises her dukes! Her spear is noticable enough that it might blow her cover and that would just put prospit in a (more) precarious situation.=

ERIDAN: -some masquerade masked fish is rolling into the scene. Literally rolling in on an actual unicycle somewhere under the flashy cape he's wearing. A relic from a time he used to be proud to wear such a thing.- ERIDAN: -Hey, Penny. He's here and swinging out a LAUNCHER of some kind. They'll find out what it does in the second he fires it.-

PENNY: -THE FUCK???-

[Don't worry boys, clustering up together in a tight group is the BEST kind of tactics.]

[The juggalos all agree with that sentiment.]

LIFERA: -peeks in for this... the fuck-

PENNY: -she agrees with that sentiment, as it happens-

ERIDAN: -Fires the launcher like he's shooting fish in a barrel. In a single swift PCHOO, it explodes in a thick vault of LIQUID NITROGEN right over the juggalos. The chemical will be freezing on impact with their skin.- B/

[oh FUCK. They start to charge as a group, hatchets HIGH, and then they continue to do so, with their hatchets high, in that EXACT position, possibly FOREVER. They are SUPER DUPER FROZEN.]

ERIDAN: -Owwned.-

ERIDAN: so ERIDAN: the others been on their wway huh looks like it -just kinda balancing there. Just another Thursday afternoon.-

PENNY: ....... dude.

LIFERA: Y-ES. You're about on tide.

[By the look of things, YES. This cut rate Fieri-clone has been put to his end; along with a sizable number of juggaspirants.]

ERIDAN: -pockets the rifle. Safe and sound.- alright ERIDAN: yall finishin the job or should wwe keep pressin wwith the dispatchin ERIDAN: it aint goin to end wwith the death a the figureheads wwe ought to be securin a method a escape

LIFERA: CL-EARING T)(-E WAY. Sounds good to me.

[Behind them, there is suddenly the sound of... sizzling grease?]

QIRIN: =is there an alternate weapon she can grab? perhaps from literal cold, dead hands?=

[Hot oil and something being poured into it-- and though he was not visible there before, he is now.]

VENDOR: You look like you could use some

funnel cakes.

PENNY: oh hell no.

[As for weapons, there are SHARP VINYL RECORDS and HATCHETS to choose from Qirin.]

VENDOR:

FREE OF CHARGE.

ERIDAN: -mghhh. He's hungry suddenly, flicking fins in the direction of the sound.- ERIDAN: -taking out a sniper's rifle now, balanced on his unicycle. B[ -

VENDOR: [He holds out the funnel cake.. towards you, specifically, Eridan.]

VENDOR: [It smells... intoxicating. Literally.]

VENDOR: This... is rare supply. We're running low. Haven't had our shipment from scenic niagra falls.

LIFERA: Don't eat that.

VENDOR: But you can eat it.

VENDOR: Carnival food is pure food, son.

VENDOR: Good... pure... food.

ERIDAN: -Nah thanks. He shoots this fucker and his funnel cake.-

VENDOR: -!

VENDOR: -Frying dough pours out of the hole in his head.-

VENDOR: FOOL!

VENDOR: -Pulls out both fry baskets, brandishing the HOT METAL as the inhuman figure staggers, attempting to LUNGE at him despite his... rapidly spilling vital dough.-

ERIDAN: -pedals backwards with finesse. Pew. Pew. Pat. Pat. Yeah, fine, brandish the hot metal. Eridan is swinging the butt of his rifle to combat this oily fuck.-

VENDOR: -GURGLING AND SCREAMING AS HE COLLAPSES INTO A PUDDLE OF YEAST.-

VENDOR: -DEAD-

[Only the hot grease cart remains.]

QIRIN: ......................

ERIDAN: gross ERIDAN: ... ERIDAN: -flicks a lighter on and eyes the hot grease cart.-

QIRIN: =She came back from retrieving the vinyl records because heck, at least it's like throwing knives.= QIRIN: Either they have been altered to a molecular level or they have found a way to make yeast sentient. I am unsure which prospect is the more disturbing.

[It's pretty tricked out, as far as hot grease carts go. It's also full of boiling hot, flammable liquid, which COULD very well be useful.]

ERIDAN: -Damn... true... slowly puts the lighter away.- wwe got ourselvves a bomb

QIRIN: It may very well be the diversion the others require. =She's inspecting the cart further. Does it have wheels for rollin?=

[IT SURE DOES]

QIRIN: =peeps out the tent flap. Anything downhill? Anything important looking that needs burning?=

[Would that be the tent flap back the way they came from, or the next unexplored tent?]

PENNY: ... a bomb?

PENNY: sounds good.

PENNY: what are we blowing?

QIRIN: =the next=

ERIDAN: good question -squints heavily and considers. All of it would be ideal...- somethin thatll draww the majority of wwhos left for a brawwl ERIDAN: that wway provvidin the means to escape for the others ERIDAN: wwhere the shit is that impregnated twwinkie gobbler

[There is something down the way... something that looks... important. Or at least, important enough. She can only get a glimpse, but it's a pretty popular spot, and the flashing light appears to say PRIZES.]

QIRIN: =Well that settles that= QIRIN: The prize booth calls to us. ^_^ QIRIN: Everyone prepared for vandalism and arson?

PENNY: excuse? -stares at Eridan-

ERIDAN: wwell aint she -Really doesn't see anything wrong with his word choice.- you her wward or not

PENNY: yeah maybe. could also be called a twinkie gobbler.

PENNY: prefer Nuthands McMike though.

ERIDAN: -frowns- i disagree she aint done nothin to earn such a title

[WOULD YOU LIKE EVIDENCE ERIDAN]

ERIDAN: -Yeah sure. He's seen worse shit.-

[oh well he doesn't have any actually]

[go back to rigging ur greasebomb]

ERIDAN: -alright. Moves off the unicycle to cover this stupid grease cart with his cape.- wwere the shit wwe takin this

PENNY: -she's talking about herself u fuck-

PENNY: approximately thattaway. -points to where Qirin indicated-

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: oh shit i smell the funnel cake dude

[the voice WAFTS from that direction]

[calling in a siren song]

ERIDAN: -mmm better get this cart moving. Wrings out a hankerchief like BLEH and uses it to get a grip on the handle. Now pushes it along.- ERIDAN: this reeks somethin' awwful

QIRIN: =She smoothly saunters out to the sound of Some Fuckin Juggalo to greet them as the others try workin the cart'=

[It does... like grease, but also some sinister chemicals. And sinister jujus.]

[THE JUGGALO MOSTLY JUST WANTS FUNNEL CAKES.]

[But he is at least blocked from what is to come.]

ERIDAN: -wheels this cart outtie, definitely holding his breath from BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS. Hello prize booth.-

[There's all kinds of prizes on display: Axes, special stardust, clown facepaint. Essentials.]

[Seems like they're paying in blood tokens, which are, in fact, human ears. Probably from people less lucky than the guy they rescued.]

LIFERA: -She's following as well, ready to punch a clown if necessary.-

PENNY: ... -can she grab one of those axes? are there people around??-

[THERE ARE. Lots of people, actually. Trying to get their prizes. Some of them are now trying to get funnel cakes.]

ERIDAN: -The funnel cake cart is TARPED by cape, you idiots. Can you not SEE.-

[THEY CAN SMELL IT YOU BOGARD]

[BOGART?]

[WHATEVER]

QIRIN: Helllllloooo there! =She does block his way, cocking her hip as she greets the juggalo cheerily!= A miraculous evening to you!

SOME FUCKIN JUGGALO: YEAH POPPIN HOT SHIT NINJETTE WHERES THE DOUGH AT????

PENNY: -aUGH-

QIRIN: Aw man, the line's all clogged up! Some eighth grade history class came for their class trip! Dough guy has gotta feed the next generation, you know what I mean? Ahahahaha!

[The juggalo has NO idea what this fresh pimpin ninjette is going on about. But at least that buys them some room and some time to move the thing.]

RILEY: -she wandered a little too far and got lost... Suddenly panting next to them- holy shit you would not believe-- oh my god what NOW?

ERIDAN: havve at it -whirls the cape off the cart and throws it over Riley.- keep that on wwould you ERIDAN: its durable the kind to ride out lightnin storms through

RILEY: -catches it. Thank you ace reflexes. She puts it on- i'm such a badass.

QIRIN: =are they even done yet? She's waiting for BOOM!= So...while we wait for Boogie Woogie Wu to scare off the tiny children, why do we not exchange pleasantries on this fresh turf?

JUGGALO: :o/

QIRIN: What do you favor? Halls of Illusion or House of Horrors?

JUGGALO: -SLOWLY REATCHING FOR HIS HATCHET-

RILEY: -penny do I need to get my gun-

ERIDAN: -turns his back to riley in a dramatic fashion and arms himself with an assault rifle. All eyes on him, folks.- alright you insatiable GREASE CLOUT FUCKS CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKIN PATH ERIDAN: -and promptly bombkicks the cart and the whole trap of grease into the crowd.-

MOVVE I SAID

QIRIN: Ah, I see you have a hatchet. You should never run with one...unless you're

running with a hatchet,

amirite? QIRIN: ;)

JUGGALO: -oh shit.- JUGGALOS: -OH SHIT-

[They suddenly bolt out of the way of the HOT GREASE CART-

RILEY: -this is suddenly the most exciting shit she's seen in a while. Gun time.- B)

ERIDAN: -taking this time to line gallons of sparkle fish gasoline by the display stands. Marching like the grimest of military marches. They only really have one shot at this. His glasses glint menacingly at the crowd.- STRIDER -bares fangs- ERIDAN: LETS BLOWW THIS TENTED SHITSTAIN OF A FESTIVVAL

QIRIN: =still distracting this one juggalo if he isn't distracted already. She's going to rinse her mouth with salf water after this=

[HE IS DISTRACTED WITH RUNNING FROM THE EMINENT FIRE]

QIRIN: =Awesome.= QIRIN: =she quickly joins everyone else, more than gently urging everyone back. She has a feeling this will be a fireball.=

RILEY: -WHERE IS PENNY SHES NOT GONNA LEAVE HER-

ERIDAN: -God damn it, STRIDER.-

ERIDAN: -You're back at being the twwinkie gobbler.-

RILEY: -so....you're saying I was promoted? SHES NOT LEAVIN WITHOUT PENNY-

PENNY: -SHE'S COMING SHIT-

RILEY: -YOU BETTER OR IMGONNA DRAG YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE-

LIFERA: -also just gonna keep distance from this shit-

ERIDAN: -brandishing the assault rifle at the crowd. Now that everything is in order, Eridan whirls on the prize tent and begins peppering the gasoline tanks with gunfire. Hasta la vista you salted juggalo fucks.-

JODIE: - She's been GHOSTING away from the main group in full aggrobat regalia, even throwing in a cartwheel or two. yup she totes mgoats belongs here. she's looking for a get away vehicle of some kind. -

RILEY: -LETS GO-

[THAT IS A KABOOM]

[The prize stand goes up in flames. Clown paint and stardust? Flammable.]

[The gasoline tanks goes up in flames. The tent itself? IT IS ON FIRE YOU BET YOUR ASS]

[The smoke is choking but it's spreading WAY too quick across the whole dang long.]

[lawn]

[whatever]

ERIDAN: - 🔥🔥🔥 -

JODIE: - well it looks like things are going well over there. -

[THAT LONG LAWN.]

QIRIN: =shoving people in the away direction. Forgive her lack of being gentle, but if it's spreading, and people are lagging, she'll resort to hupping em under an arm and toting them away.=

JODIE: - Let's see... something not on fire... not on fire... -

[There is a BEAUTIFUL convertible that-- no wait it's on fire. And it was a raffle prize anyways.]

[Looks like the ice cream truck isn't on fire. Don't eat the ice cream though.]

JODIE: - That'll work. She sneaks up and checks the windows to make sure it's empty. She can't be sure about the back though, she'll need to. open it up. Scurries-

ERIDAN: -holding his goddamn breath in all this. Seadweller skills activate. Fuck, his gills are going to burn something fierce in all this smoke.- ERIDAN: -SHOVING HIS SOLDIERS, GO GO GO GO GO. Messaging Jeff and the others stationed outside the premises. There's no going back to the campus after this.-

LIFERA: -DON'T YOU SHOVE ME BOI-

ERIDAN: -THEN GET IN THE ICE CREAM TRUCK QUEENIE. CHRIST.-

RILEY: -SORRY BOUT THE SMOKE RYAN IM TRYIN OVER HERE-

ERIDAN: -At least she has the cape and won't get burned by ash.-

QIRIN: =Helping Riley in the van. She's preggers with an energy consumer, after all.=

JODIE: -KEYS? IF NOT ROLL TO HOT WIRE. This takes her back to 6th grade. -

RILEY: -thanks qirin you are a gem-

ERIDAN: -balancing himself out in the back, ready to defend with one arm on his rifle. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSES.-

LIFERA: -just kinda joins Eridan there, just in case-

PENNY: -hops up front with Jodie- lets get this shit rollin huh??

QIRIN: ^_^

JODIE: -She's managed to get it WORKING. Ice cream truck noises-

ERIDAN: -side eyes the juggalo ex-empress. Has another moment of disconnecting surrealism.-

[Broom broom. She's in her mum's car.]

LIFERA: 38D

JODIE: bet your sweet ass. everybody in? -

RILEY: yeah! floor it!

ERIDAN: -Still remains... the sound of silence...-

JODIE: haha... ha.... - FLOORS IT. TOWARDS THE WHITEHOUSE. This is her life. -

JODIE: - Not the worst thing she's done with an ice cream truck but at least the worst thing she's done on the white house lawn.-

RILEY: -HOLDING ONTO THE NEAREST PERSON FOR BALANCE-

QIRIN: =It's okay, she's sturdy=

[Once the twins and Roxanne are SECURED, the getaway ice cream truck is now Minnesota bound. For everyone's safety, it's best not to hide out anywhere near here... The campus had been evacuated after the concert, anyway. Just to be safe.]

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 22, Rebel Concert

[The night has finally arrived! It's amazing how many college kids you can even fit into this theater. Everything is up and running the lights are flashing, and dammit...It's lit. First, Davenforth makes his way to the stage.]

DAVENFORTH: Sup tonight everybody thanks for the turn out

DAVENFORTH: As we all know this country has been run by clowns in the past but in a figurative sense never this literal

MAYOR: -he is WAITING IN THE WINGS. extremely nervously, even for the CONSTANTLY SHAKING MAYOR-

DAVENFORTH: However theres no denying that history was made with probably one of the most bogus elections in the history of this nation and for that some friends and i decided to throw down for them

QIRIN: =She placed a hand upon the Mayor's shoulder and gave it a gentle pat. He'll do splendidly, she believes in him.= ^_^

DAVENFORTH: This concert these songs and deez nuts are dedicated to you two -His shades gleam at the camera as he kisses a peace sign at it.-

DAVENFORTH: Alright lets get this shit rollin

JEFF: =doing nerd things most definitely=

DAVENFORTH: Our first performer is guaranteed to warm your hearts with his vocal stylings as well as his charming good looks truthfully he needs no introduction but here it is anyway give it up for takoda

QIRIN: =claps from backstage=

ERIDAN: -Oh hey mayor, look at that. Where'd the soda bottle come from. Nobody knows but have a cold one anyway.-

MAYOR: !

RILEY: -IS THERE A FISH OVER THERE-

MAYOR: -HE WILL- MAYOR: -the sugar makes him jitter even more in fact but it's nice to have anyways-

DAVENFORTH: -Exits the stage and just pats the Mayor's back-

QIRIN: =soda wont help your vocal chords sir=

MAYOR: -soda helps everything-

GAIZKA: =He's an audience member for this. He's never had any good vocal chords or been particularly musically gifted... Besides he's been in the church eating snacks for the most part. Regardless, he is here, and he is chinhandsing at the stage.=

TAKODA: -HE'S HERE, scurrying out onto the stage, giving the crowd a lopsided smile.- HELLO, EVERYBODY. -greets them cheesily, settling himself in front of the mic- TAKODA: 1'M NO STRANGER TO TH1S WHOLE UH... FREEDOM F1GHT1NG TH1NG. THERE'S A LOT OF SACR1F1CES TO BE MADE, WHEN TH1NGS NEED TO CHANGE... BUT ABOVE ALL, 1 KNOW YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG. TAKODA: BEL1EVE 1N YOURSELF, AND THE PEOPLE F1GHT1NG BES1DE YOU. TAKODA: ANYWAY, OKAY... HERE WE GO.

ERIDAN: -Hell no. He's here for security purposes. Wielding an actual assault rifle on his person in case anything gets the drop on them from above. Nobody look at him...-

GAIZKA: =Whoops and blows kisses.= ;o)

TAKODA: -GOSH-

GAIZKA: FuCkInG pReAcH.

TAKODA: CHANGES WON'T COME OVERN1IGHT FOR TH1S 1 PLEDGE TO F1GHT WE ALL HAVE BEEN DECE1VED TH1S 1S OUR REAL1TY

GAIZKA: MoThErFuCkInG inspirational as all HeLlS. =CHINHANDS...=

TAKODA: ARE YOU READY TO DO ALL THAT YOU CAN? TO STOP THE UNSTOPPABLE UNSTOPPABLE

DAVENFORTH: -He's not shocked by this at all. Gdi Takoda-

TAKODA: -HE SWAYS. WE GOTTA START ON AN UPBEAT NOTE, DAVE };) -

DAVENFORTH: -You beautiful hecker-

TAKODA: -NOW we can pick up the pace here-

TAKODA: 1 ONCE KNEW A GUY OBSESSED W1TH THE AFTERL1FE OH, WHAT A TERR1BLE DAY THAT WAS... HE REAL1ZED HE WASTED ALL H1S T1ME T1ME WAS T1CK1NG BY, AND HE'D BEEN LEFT BEH1ND AND AS THE CLOCK T1CK TOCKED H1S HEART D1D STOP AND EVERYTH1NG HE HAD WAS FUCKED

TAKODA: -this one is slightly more personal too...-

TAKODA: AND WHEN WE FALL, WE W1LL FALL TOGETHER NO ONE W1LL CATCH US, SO WE'LL CATCH OURSELVES

TAKODA: THE BEATEN AND THE BRU1SED, FORSAKEN AND ABUSED OH WHAT A GLOR1OUS DAY WE'LL HAVE, R1S1NG UP AND CLA1M1NG OUR DUES

TAKODA: NOW W1TH THE L1NE DRAWN 1N THE WET SAND YOU NEED TO TELL US WHERE TO STAND S1TT1NG WA1T1NG WATCH1NG ROTT1NG, EVERYTH1NG THEY WARNED US OF 1S TRUE NOW TELL ME WHAT WE'RE ALL SUPPOSED TO DO?

TAKODA: THEY'RE COM1NG AFTER ALL OF US W1TH EVERYTH1NG THEY'VE GOT

TAKODA: W1TH THE FURY OF A SOLD1ER WHO W1LL ANSWER TO H1S GOD

TAKODA: SO HOW W1LL WE FIGHT? ALL WE HAVE 1S LOG1C AND LOVE ON OUR S1DE

TAKODA: -AND HE'S DONE-

GAIZKA: =More adoring whooping, yes. :'o) He's so proud.=

DAVENFORTH: -Loud cheering from backstage!-

ERIDAN: -it was alright.-

RILEY: -lots of clapping-

TAKODA: -beams at the crowd, finding gaizka in particular with his smiles... and with a wave he hops away-

KURLOZ: =golf clapping in his booth=

DAVENFORTH: -He hop...-

GAIZKA: =Makes eyecontact and makes a kissy face.=

RILEY: -she's jittery. she hasn't performed for the public in a very long time and it always makes her nervous no matter how long she's been doing this-

DAVENFORTH: -Wait shit oh yeah he should intro the big lorge now-

DAVENFORTH: -Appearing back on stage just as wonderful and lovely and handsome as ever before.-

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah thats how we get things started but whats that you want more well how about a nine hundred pound gorilla playing a saxophone

DAVENFORTH: Not fucking possible well we got the next best thing

DAVENFORTH: Its the scariest motherfucker you never heard of the massacrer of rainbows the goddamn grand highblood himself

DAVENFORTH: Also after this performance ill be lettin my brother and special guest take over hostin duties

DAVENFORTH: -Disappears backstage. he must change.-

GAIZKA: =Cheers for his caste brother from another mother (grub).=

HIGHBLOOD: =drops a pie on Davenforth as they pass. To help him prep. He's no stranger to performances, especially not doing so for his sweet rail whom he knows is watching. He feels it in his horn. Steps out on stage with a sax, yeah get ready for it childrens=

DAVENFORTH: -Passes this pie to the mayor-

MAYOR: -MESSILY EATS IT-

HIGHBLOOD: =he plays along with the guitar then pulls back sings into the mic= HIGHBLOOD: about time for anyone telling you off for all your deeds HIGHBLOOD: no sign the roaring thunder stopped in cold to read HIGHBLOOD: i get mine and make no excuses; waste of precious breath the sun shines on everyone, everyone love yourself to death

HIGHBLOOD: so you gotta fire up, you gotta let got you'll never be loved 'til you've made your own HIGHBLOOD: you gotta face up, you gotta get yours you never know the top 'til you get too low =LIKE HUMAN CLOWNS FOR INSTANCE WHAT THE FUCK CONDS. Anyway time for him to fuck it up on sax=

HIGHBLOOD: life isn't always what you think it'd be turn your head for one second and the tables turn and i know, i know that i did you wrong HIGHBLOOD: but will you trust me when i say that i'll make it up to you somehow, somehow =gets jazzy for the rest of this=

RILEY: -OH HELL YEAH-

ERIDAN: -wall eyed and distantly having an out of body experience. The actual Grand Highblood.-

GAIZKA: =Smooth jazz... Hells to the yeas.=

HIGHBLOOD: =he'll sing this one= another loose canoon gone bi-polar slipped down couldn't get much lower quick sands got no sense of humor, i'm stil laughing like hellllll

HIGHBLOOD: =soft in the mic= i created the sound of madness wrote the book on pain. HIGHBLOOD: somehow i'm still here, to explain, HIGHBLOOD: That the darkest hour never comes in the night. you can sleep with a gun. HIGHBLOOD: when you gonna wake up... when you gonna wake up and fight...

HIGHBLOOD: =And he's done, he backs on up and goes off stage once more=

RILEY: -aggressive clapping- NICE!

ERIDAN: -excusing himself to the hygieneblock for a moment to run some salt water thru his gills. Can't breathe. Nbd.-

ERIDAN: -all t his fucking god damn motherufcking anxiety.-

????: -Who the heck is this daft punk, power rangers lookin ass mofo behind stage. None other than Dave Skellington of course. Yes hello everyone. He gives a slight bow to ghb and nice little clap. The screen on his helmet lights up and the word "nice!" scrolls across.-

HIGHBLOOD: =ruffles Riley's hair and grins= many thanks sis =also eyeballs this broseph....bruh= :o)

????: - ":o)' He even has a little honk sound effect! Honk!-

MAYOR: -A the stage is vacated he is wheeling out some kind of... HUGE PILE OF FURNITURE. It's all supported by dollies and handcarts and what have you but it still effectively looks like a big barricade made out of trash, being wheeled out single handedly by a tiny carapacian in rags. He begins to climb up the heap once it's fully on stage, reaching the top and raising a bright red flag...- MAYOR: -Using his free hand he tugs down the rags around his face, pulls off his hood, and just sort of stares at the crowd for a good long while from atop his trash heap.-

????: ....

????: -BRUH-

MAYOR: -When he finally opens his mouth to sing, it is BOOMING and OPERATIC. And he starts marching back and forth across the barricade, waving his flag.-

MAYOR: DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN! IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS

MAYOR: THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!!!

RILEY: -okay this is making her a little TOO teary don't fuck up her makeup mayor-

????: -What the fuck though?-

????: !!!!

DEREK: -arms crossed while watching this- Daaaamn. Fuck it up lil dude.

QIRIN: 8D

MAYOR: -When he's done singing he just sorta looks at the audience again. Then he just sorta. Drops his flag on the floor and wheels the barricade away again, without ANY kind of ado.-

MAYOR: O_O

KURLOZ: =nice, claps=

????: -Offers him a TAB behind stage. You know who he is, little friend.-

MAYOR: -TAKES IT AND GUZZLES IT ALL-

????: -Gently elbows Derek. Come on lets go do the host thing.-

QIRIN: =she's clapping!! hell yeah carapacian power!=

DEREK: -nod nod. HERE THEY GO. he saunters on out to the stage.- DEREK: If that didnt get you hype then I dunno what the fuck will. DEREK: Oh yeah maybe our special guest here. DEREK: -gestures to the man beside him- The one and only... The supposedly dead... DEREK: Dave Skellington. DEREK: Come on give it up.

RILEY: -she has to fuck around a little- HOW DO WE KNOW IT'S REALLY YOU DAVE SKELLINGTON? -she yells from offstage-

DAVE: !!!! -Yes hello! He waves at the audience. His adoring fans. He never left you. Holds up his finger to the audience and flings a moonpie backstage at Riley.-

RILEY: -dodges-

DAVE: :D -Back to you guys! Gives Derek a thumbs up. You ever seen a pregnant lady do a dodge roll? You missed it backstage.-

RILEY: -rude ass motherfucker-

[HOWEVER. The audience is p excite. Sure, the chances of this being the ACTUAL Dave Skellington are fucking slim. That guy bit it forever ago. But this person was at least good at acting like they're a happy robot man and for that, they will cheer.]

DEREK: -snorts- Hey I dont blame anybody for bein skeptical. DEREK: But if you keep tunin in I promise youll get your questions answered. DEREK: Our next performer is reppin the carapacian community too. Shes one cool lady and shes got some important shit to say. DEREK: Come on out Qirin.

DAVE: -Mgs Alert sound from his helmet- !

ERIDAN: -guzzling water about the White Queen of Prospit happening on stage now. Flush it out the gills, Ampora. Just flush it out the gills.-

KURLOZ: =😒 can you take that shit elsewhere?=

QIRIN: =Here comes the (ex)Queen walking out onto the stage with a bowl drum. (It may look quite familiar to Dirk, actually.) She waves at the crowd.= QIRIN: Hello, patrons and viewers, friends and family, here or very far away. ^_^ QIRIN: The universe has never been more broken or divided, but especially in times like these, we must remember who we are. It is easy to waver from that and lose sight of our path, but despite the trials we face we must not lose sight of ourselves. Sentinels of Earth. Warriors of truth, justice, and peace. My dear children of Prospit. ...The dreaming dead. Here is to you.

DAVE: -Brother I'm dying in this thing how did I do it for so long...-

DEREK: -WHO EVEN KNOWS YA DINGUS. drags him back stage though.-

QIRIN: Many nights we've prayed with no proof anyone could hear. In our hearts, a hopeful song we barely understood. Now we are not afraid although we know there's much to fear. We were moving mountains long before we knew we could.

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =The melody begins soft and sweet but it is soon evident that it's turning as metal as this drum.=

QIRIN: In this time of fear when prayer so often proves in vain hope seems like the summer birds too swiftly flown away. Yet now I'm standing here my heart so full I can't explain. seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'll say.

DAVE: -He has the strangest heart boner right now....-

QIRIN: There can be miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: They don't always happen when you ask and it's easy to give in to your fears but when you're blinded by your pain can't see the way, get through the rain. A small but still, resilient voice says hope is very near.

QIRIN: Miracles when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe, somehow you will. You will when you believe.

QIRIN: You will when you believe.

QIRIN: =she began soft motions on the drum, her fingers hovering over the notes.= QIRIN: Well, I came home like a stone and I fell heavy into your arms. These days of dust which we've known will blow away with this new sun. QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground. QIRIN: And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: So break my step and relent. Well, you forgave and I won't forget. know what we've seen and him with less now in some way shake the excess.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: Now I'll be bold as well as strong and use my head alongside my heart. So tame my flesh and fix my eyes: a tethered mind freed from the lies.

RILEY: -cANT HANDLE THIS-

RILEY: -THE TEARS-

QIRIN: But I'll kneel down, wait for now and I'll kneel down, know my ground.

QIRIN: 'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you. And I will wait, I will wait for you.

QIRIN: =she quickly transitioned to a new melody, moving along the drum once again.= QIRIN: The captivity of despair wrangles jurisdiction. The rule of Tyranny. Sorrow and fear of servitude. The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: The brotherhood rejoicing, we delight in courage. the celebration of freedom and faith, Success of harmony and love, The victory and respect for a great journey.

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

QIRIN: Respect for life, live with faith in freedom the magnificence of life, live with care.

ERIDAN: -Good thing he's hiding in the hygeineblock. The music is so loud, he can still hear it. Of all the songs to move his stupid bleeding bloodpusher, it's this one. Eridan scrubs the ridiculous violet tears from under his glasses. He feels like such a wriggler. Bluh.- ERIDAN: -after a while, he replaces the salt water with faygo. Guzzling the whole bottle down until the sugar buzzes in his veins anew. He'll blame it on that.-

QIRIN: We hope for liberation, we want our deliverance, we would be glad of redemption, with liberation. Deliver us, we celebrate happiness.

DAVE: -MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOHMYGOD-

DAVE: -Points at Qirin, ";)"-

RILEY: -literally just repeatedly (lightly) hitting derek's arm with the back of her hand to distract her from ALL THE FEELINGS-

DEREK: -babe PLEASE-

QIRIN: =fingerguns at Dave= ^u^

DAVE: -Pokes his head back out. The audience cheers! Yay. Being loved is nice. He's going to casually stroll up to the mic, kind of inspecting it. Then he taps on it, yep still working. Shortly there's a crackle and the sound of slightly heavy breathing. Dave goes to speak and well...this motherfucker sounds like Bane.-

DAVE: You would not believe, just how long it has been since I used my own voice. Yes, thank you very much Qirin. Your gilded voice has seeped into the very essence of our beings, striking a chord of resonance on our heart strings. Please, another round of applause for her.

RILEY: -what a dork-

DEREK: -HOOTS AND HOLLERS BACK HERE-

DAVE: A moment, if you will let me have it.

QIRIN: =hand flaps. Oh u.=

DAVE: No one cared about who I was until I put on the mask, and from there I created an identity, became a symbol. With this level of anonymity affords you...certain freedoms, and I took full advantage of them. For the most part of my career, I have been on your holovisions, in your theaters, and my message has been known. It is documented and clear. The dangers that have befallen this planet were...well to be expected. However, I am no longer just going to idly sit by and warn. I will take action. That is what this night is about. Hopefully, you will join us. I know that I was "murdered" some time ago. As you can see, this is further from the truth. My identity is still sealed. Tonight...I will reveal it. However, the time is not yet. There is a surprise you must receive first. Thank you...here is your next performer.

PENNY: -She walks out onto stage, looking a little jittery -- maybe like she's full of anxious energy -- and not exactly making eye contact with anybody. She grabs the microphone stand and pulls the mic closer, staring down into it before speaking.- PENNY: you dont know who I am. PENNY: but Im still up on this stage. and they dont know who you are?? but youre still on the stage of your fucking lives and its time to step up and perform!! PENNY: they aint taking me off it yet. -nods for the music to start-

PENNY: your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in part trusting your friends you do it all again and Im not lying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! Im doing this for you because its easier to lose and its hard to face the truth when you think youre dying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again but you dont stop trying. oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! Yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives because were standing in the way of control! well live our lives because were standing in the way of control! we will live our lives, lives, lives! your backs against the wall theres no one home to call youre forgetting who you are you cant stop crying. its part not giving in and part trusting your friends you do it all again you dont stop trying! oh oh oh... standing in the way of control! yeah live your lives by the only way that you know know!

RILEY: -eyes glued to her sister. what a great voice she has too...damn-

PENNY: nobody showed you how to live? me either. get a steady job, couple kids act decent. but Ive been on a ten-speed thinking about the time as the sun sets like what would I do different if I hit rewind and did it again? PENNY: I tried to figure it out but nothing was coming to mind. remembered all my mistakes but the memories made me smile. I told the one that I loved that love would mean letting me go. even though I was afraid you gotta do some things on your own. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: you go to heaven when you die Im betting. youre still with me on the line? just checking. cause Ive been making fast friends, late at night the kind when the sun sets. like waking up and thinking honey why I do it again? PENNY: I came to in a cold sweat with a nosebleed feeling hopeless. thought I maybe might be dead til I got my pen sat down and wrote this. suddenly I felt fine inside a mind so full of ghosts. the darkest nights mean you see the stars the most. PENNY: this one goes out to all the dreamers at sea this life is only what you want it to be and I want more, I want more, I want more, I want more! PENNY: I used to knock on wood I used to never curse I used to think I could control the universe With my obsessive thoughts and what felt like a prayer I shouted to the sky dont let my family disappear. I used to feel alone I used to not belong but little did I know I had the power all along. the only thing to fear is never being scared.

[Suddenly, all the lights in the venue are out. The music starts to play. Some backlights turn on. WHO ARE THESE SILLHOUETTES?]

RILEY: off with your head dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor [SURPRISE IT'S RILEY AND PENNY also known as Robyn Saint and that girl]

PENNY: glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome

PENNY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

RILEY: the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out the girls cry out the men cry out, oh no

PENNY: off, off with your head dance, dance til you're dead heads will roll heads will roll heads will roll on the floor

RILEY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

PENNY: looking glass take the past shut your eyes mirror lies

RILEY: dripping with alchemy shiver stop shivering the glitter's all wet you're all chrome you're all chrome

PENNY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead off off off with your head dance dance dance til you're dead

RILEY: -GRINNING AT PENNY THO. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME-

PENNY: -she's smiling too, and then taking a moment with the mic and then gesturing at Riley- everyone. my sister Robyn Saint!

PENNY: -finally scurries off stage-

RILEY: -waves at the people, laughing a little. nerves are out now thank god- surprise! not dead. louie, if you're watching...i'm sorry... but hey. let's take advantage of the time we got and play some songs most people know? or nobody knows. not my songs. anyway. let's get this thing going.

RILEY: -voice low and slow and sultry- welcome to your life there's no turning back even while we sleep we will find you

RILEY: acting on your best behavior turn your back on mother nature everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: it's my own design it's my own remorse help me to decide help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure nothing ever lasts forever everybody wants to rule the world

RILEY: -looking at one of the cameras- there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do i'll be right behind you

RILEY: so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it ;( everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world everybody wants to rule the world -have two middle fingers cameraward and a dramatic curtsy-

RILEY: paranoia is in bloom the pr transmissions will resume they'll try to push drugs that keep us all dumbed down and hope that we will never see the truth around so come on

RILEY: another promise another scene another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed and all the green belts wrapped around our minds and endless red tape to keep the truth confined so come on

RILEY: -guitar time- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious so come on interchanging mind control come let the revolution take its toll if you could flick a switch and open your third eye you'd see that we should never be afraid to die -fist in the air- so come on

RILEY: rise up and take the power back it's time the fat cats had a heart attack you know that their time's coming to an end we have to unify and watch our flag ascend

RILEY: -here we go- they will not force us they will stop degrading us they will not control us we will be victorious

DEREK: - 😍 -

RILEY: thanks guys. my hair keeps getting in my face. how do you like it? it's long and shit. i'm lazy. RILEY: but something doesn't feel right with me being the only one up here... -looks quizzically around...obviously intentionally-

DAVE: -He's walking on stage with a microphone- Please, leave the acting to me Ms. Saint.

LIFERA: -👀 somewhere-

ERIDAN: -has slunk up to watch the concert from the rooftops. Eyes on the sky, he's listening rather. This is visually safer for him.-

RILEY: -perfect time for banter- i would if you, you know...were up here. someone's gotta pick up the slack.

DAVE: By all means, pick up as much as you want. I've been deceased for nearly a year, want do you want from me?

DAVE: -Stands next to her-

RILEY: and i've been declared missing. but i'm not missing anymore. he look dead to you guys? -gestures to the audience GET THEM ALL RILED UP-

DAVE: How do we know I'm not some sort of dastardly phantasm?

ERIDAN: -Watches the stars and keeps an eye out for any passing satellites. Incidentally, he thinks about his lusus while the crowd cheers away. Old man would be useful right now... But he would have hated it on Earth. The air tastes foul and Eridan would agree with him. For now, he keeps watch.-

RILEY: guess we'll have to watch you do your thing. that's enough proof for me.

DAVE: I guess it is time to give the people what they were promised. One surprise, to be followed by another.

DAVE: -He presses a button on his helmet and you can hear the air hiss out, before he undoes clasps around the helmet, carefully removing it and placing his shades over his eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: Sup boys and girls

RILEY: you're a real boy?!

DAVENFORTH: A real life honest to goodness boy hot damn who would have thought it - Sets his helmet down.-

DAVENFORTH: Surprise bitch the manager and the client are one and the same  

RILEY: i'm so fucking shocked i think you'll actually have to call up rihanna herself to do this next one with you. the audience may need some time to process that dave skellington isn't an actual robot, too.

DAVENFORTH: Well lets soothe em with a song

DAVENFORTH: Kick it barack

RILEY: -the guitar is staying out- i think i've had enough might get a little drunk i say what's on my mind i might do a little time cuz all of my kindness is taken for weakness

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin and we got three more days til friday im just tryna make it back home by monday mornin i swear i wish somebody would dare me ooh that's all i want -looks over at dave. SHE IS HAVING A GOOD TIME-

DAVENFORTH: Woke up an optimist DAVENFORTH: Sun was shinin im positive DAVENFORTH: Then I heard you was talkin trash DAVENFORTH: Hold me back im bout to spaz

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning into the mic-

RILEY: and i know that you're up tonight thinkin how could i be so selfish? but you called bout a thousand times wondering where i've been now i know that you're up tonight thinkin' how could i be so reckless? but i just can't apologize -closes her eyes- i hope you can understand

DAVENFORTH: If i go to jail tonight DAVENFORTH: Promise youll pay my bail DAVENFORTH: See they want to buy my pride DAVENFORTH: But that just aint up for sale

RILEY: -harmonizing time-

RILEY: now i'm fourfiveseconds from wildin' and we got three more days 'til friday i'm just tryna make it back home by monday mornin' i swear i wish somebody would tell me ooh, that's all i want

DAVENFORTH: Well the good news is i dont think we gotta worry about jail time after this

RILEY: nah. they'd have to catch us first. RILEY: but hey. with this new shocking revelation of yours, maybe the audience wants some alone time with you. RILEY: you know. that kind of long distance relationship lovin' after reuniting. RILEY: so i think i'll leave you guys alone for a little.

DEREK: -gdi riley-

RILEY: -WONK-

DAVENFORTH: If thats the case then let me get a little more comfortable -Presses a button on the brooch of his cape and POOF. There he is in a perfectly tailored suit. Crimson, of course.-

DAVENFORTH: Much better

DAVENFORTH: Yall ready to party

JEFF: =He is ready to party! :U =

RILEY: -walks off stage strumming her guitar-

DAVENFORTH: Then lets hit it

DAVENFORTH: American hypocrisy oh let me count the ways DAVENFORTH: They came here seeking freedom and they end up owning slaves justified it using what christianity would say religion dont mean shit theres too much ego in the way DAVENFORTH: Thats why isis is in crisis but in reality this country do the same shit take a life and call it righteous

DAVENFORTH: For real i though this was thou shalt not kill DAVENFORTH: But police still letting off niggas in the ville DAVENFORTH: Claiming that he reached for a gun

DAVENFORTH: They really think we dumb and got a death wish DAVENFORTH: Now somebodys son is laying breathless DAVENFORTH: When i was a little boy my father lived in texas DAVENFORTH: Pulled up in toyota drove that bitch like it was lexus DAVENFORTH: Put my bag in his trunk and headed off for dallas DAVENFORTH: Out there for the summer feeling just like i was alice DAVENFORTH: Lost in the wonder land where niggas still suffering DAVENFORTH: Just like they was back home and thats wrong

DAVENFORTH: I had a convo with the president i paid to go and see him DAVENFORTH: Thinking bout the things i said id say when i would see him DAVENFORTH: Feeling nervous sitting in a room full of white folks DAVENFORTH: Thinking about the black man plight think i might choke nope DAVENFORTH: Raised my hand and asked a man a question DAVENFORTH: Does he see the struggles of his brothers in oppression

DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back till they kill me DAVENFORTH: Change is slow always has been always will be DAVENFORTH: But fuck that ima bust back until they kill me DAVENFORTH: You feel me

DAVENFORTH: Heres a thought for my revolutionary heart DAVENFORTH: Take a deeper look at history its there to pick apart DAVENFORTH: See the people at the top they get to do just what they want DAVENFORTH: Till after while the people at the bottom finally get smart DAVENFORTH: Then they start to holla revolution tired of living here destitution DAVENFORTH: Fuck that looting can you tell me whats the best solution

DAVENFORTH: -Somehow he got a stool, and he's sitting on stage, casually lighting a blunt.-

DEREK: -snickering about it-

RILEY: -rolling her eyes but she's laughing too-

DAVENFORTH: Hands up everybody run DAVENFORTH: Dave outside and he say he got a gun DAVENFORTH: Niggas like man that's what everybody say DAVENFORTH: Go and pop the trunk and everybody dead DAVENFORTH: Everybody scared of the nigga DAVENFORTH: Aware that the nigga is better DAVENFORTH: All my bitches the pick of the litter DAVENFORTH: Never bitter DAVENFORTH: Niggas is faker than anime DAVENFORTH: Me i never hate, get cake like anna mae woah DAVENFORTH: Eat the cake bitch eat the damn cake DAVENFORTH: Fuck good nigga we demand great DAVENFORTH: Order dominos and she take off all her clothes DAVENFORTH: Nigga you know how it goes make the pizza man wait DAVENFORTH: The best kept secret DAVENFORTH: Even hoes try and keep it and i leak the damn tape DAVENFORTH: Rest in peace any nigga want beef DAVENFORTH: Even secret service couldnt keep the man safe

DAVENFORTH: -He's grinning and vibing to the hook, blowing smoke-

DAVENFORTH: This is the part that the thugs skip DAVENFORTH: Young nigga never had love DAVENFORTH: You know foot massage back rub shit DAVENFORTH: Blowing bubbles in the bathtub shit DAVENFORTH: That is until i met you DAVENFORTH: Together we done watch years go by DAVENFORTH: Seen a river of your tears go by DAVENFORTH: Got me thinkin' bout some kids still i DAVENFORTH: Tell them hoes come through DAVENFORTH: Get to know somebody and you really learn a lot about em DAVENFORTH: Won't be long for you, start to doubt em DAVENFORTH: Tell yourself you better off without em

DAVENFORTH: Come and dance

DAVENFORTH: -Now is when he stands-

DAVENFORTH: This ones a little personal

DAVENFORTH: This goes out to everyone that told me i wouldnt be shit

DAVENFORTH: Before the red cups and the backwoods smoke DAVENFORTH: Me and mom in the shack in the woods bro DAVENFORTH: I was sleepin on the floor with the oven door open DAVENFORTH: While i dreamt about the places that i would go DAVENFORTH: We would go door to door to door all day DAVENFORTH: We were begging em to lay up in the foyer DAVENFORTH: I was sittin with the hookers in a motel hallway DAVENFORTH: Waiting on a blind audition like its broadway DAVENFORTH: Now these madams looking like a fleet of foxes DAVENFORTH: Rat pack chief of staff like sinatra DAVENFORTH: Eat drink swank nigga thats the mantra DAVENFORTH: Betta stand when i speak nigga fix your posture DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run baby word to poppa DAVENFORTH: Wanted me to be a lawyer engineer or doctor DAVENFORTH: The new godfather keep your old mobsters DAVENFORTH: Matter fact you can keep your old oscars DAVENFORTH: Its tomorrow never dies now DAVENFORTH: Im on yacht with a prince in dubai now DAVENFORTH: Im with the dalai lamas homies in the sky lounge DAVENFORTH: Cocktails got me loosenin my tie now DAVENFORTH: They say a prophet never honored in his homeland DAVENFORTH: Thats fine id rather have my own land DAVENFORTH: Gotta plan for a hundred roman numerals DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga, welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Chief dont run shaggy

DAVENFORTH: It's my time, hit the gong out here DAVENFORTH: They gon need to build a bigger wall out here DAVENFORTH: I live a different set of laws out here DAVENFORTH: Know my rights even when im in the wrong out here DAVENFORTH: Look what we did with one song out here DAVENFORTH: Like a locksmith opened every door out here DAVENFORTH: You dealing with a king not a kong out here DAVENFORTH: You a pawn but we can get along out here DAVENFORTH: You in my house actin too free though DAVENFORTH: We know you foul nigga two free throws DAVENFORTH: Chiefy chiefy in a new chief cloak DAVENFORTH: I aint even said a word but my suit bespoke DAVENFORTH: I got a new agenda that i gotta carry through DAVENFORTH: When your fathers enemies are tryna bury you DAVENFORTH: And the royal families are tryna mary you DAVENFORTH: Long live the chief nigga welcome to your funeral

DAVENFORTH: Violent j and shaggy the chief is comin prepare those asses

DEREK: -yaaaaaaaaas-

DAVENFORTH: -Snrks at his own comment-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING-

DAVENFORTH: Thanks ladies and gents for takin this oh so well but theres still better yet

DAVENFORTH: You know the goofy guy in the hat well thats my brother and him and the ever dope robyn saint are gonna do some songs for yall dont fret though ill be back

DEREK: -come on babe. he places a hand on her back while they both head out onto the stage again, gesturing with his other hand for davendork to move it.-

DAVENFORTH: -Blows smoke in Derek's face as he passes by-

DEREK: Fuckin rude.

QIRIN: =She's just clapping from backstage! Heck!=

RILEY: -here they go. she waves at the crowd with derek beside her- the sock's off the door so...i figured we would be in the clear. RILEY: anyway. hey again. this goofy guy in the hat? RILEY: i'm kinda in love with him. -makes a THIS LITTLE gesture- kinda. RILEY: i think we need another stage name though. robyn saint and goofy guy in the hat doesn't really flow.

DEREK: -grins at her. YEAH BITCHES ROBYN SAINT IS IN LOVE WITH ME.- DEREK: What about Robyn Saint and the Weird Puppet Guy?

RILEY: -gives him a look.- yeah. for anybody that knows my obscure shit from way in the beginning, this is weird puppet guy. RILEY: i think we have to get past the puppets at this point. no room for felt on this stage.

DEREK: Yeah well see about that.

DEREK: For now lets get this show on the road.

RILEY: -rolls her eyes- i guess we gotta. let's do this.

DEREK: -snickers and bobs his head as the music starts up-

DEREK: You think its over now. You think well go away. But we keep climbing up. You cant keep us down.

RILEY: a temporary no this shit is not for play we're not your typical that ain't what we're here for -walking the stage a little-

DEREK: Its time we light it up. Our matchs to the grade. The tensions driving in. We aint looking down.

RILEY: watch how we take the throne drop like a cannonball we take the lead, no we're never gonna follow -shakes her finger-

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Three years of digging holes. Been burning through our clothes. Yeah we keep on rising high. You can't touch us now. -bouncing around her with a grin-

RILEY: -grins at derek- we give it every night our hearts are dynamite we spit that fire -looks at the audience- so you better listen up

MYPOST DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

DEREK: Bang bang here we go. Everythings about to blow.

RILEY: our moment's going up blast it up and lift it up sky high sky high here we go 'bout to fly

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't they know, the speaker is about to explode? Don't they know, this building is about to blow? This building is about to Blow

RILEY: uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes -closes her eyes- well, oh, i got stamina -opens them- and uh-oh, i see another mountain to climb but i, i got stamina uh-oh, i need another lover, be mine -leans her head against derek's shoulder and turns away from him- cuz i, i got stamina

DAVENFORTH: -That's his family y'all-

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive

RILEY: well, uh-oh, running out of breath, but i oh, i, i got stamina uh-oh, running now, i close my eyes but, oh, i got stamina and oh yeah, running through the waves of love but i, i got stamina and oh yeah, i'm running and i've just enough and uh-oh, i got stamina

RILEY: don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no don't give up, i won't give up don't give up, no no no -shakes her finger at the camera-

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive DEREK AND RILEY: Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina Oh-oh, I got stamina

DEREK: Hey I am the truth. Hey I am the wisdom of the fallen. I'm the youth. Hey I am the greatest. Hey this is the proof. Hey I work hard pray hard pay dues hey. I transform with pressure Im hands-on with effort. I fell twice before my bounce back was special. Letdowns will get you and the critics will test you. But the strong will survive another scar may bless you.

DEREK AND RILEY: Don't give up (no no), I won't give up (no no) Don't give up, no no no (nah) Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no

DEREK AND RILEY: I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive I'm free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no)

DEREK AND RILEY: The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (don't give up, don't give up, don't give up, no no no) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina) The greatest, the greatest alive (I got stamina)

DAVENFORTH: -Probably swaying with Qirin. Don't mind him he's a little high, to take the edge off.-

RILEY: -grabs his hand and gives him a smooch- he's got some stuff to show off. thanks for having me tonight. dave and dirk if you're listening or watching or whatever wherever you are -- don't give up. i love you. RILEY: -she bows and makes her exit-

DEREK: -watches her go before he turns back to face the audience.- DEREK: Yeah so. Im some nobody who happens to be Robyn Saints man and Dave Skellingtons brother. DEREK: Unless youre a part of some niche fetish communities in which case I am definitely a somebody you know. DEREK: But we can save that discussion for another time. -paces around the stage while he talks- DEREK: Truth is I wanted to put this together cuz I wanted to send out a message to people. One of hope and empowerment through somethin positive. Somethin anybody can do. DEREK: Art. Expression. DEREK: This shit goin on now aint nothin new... Though it has hit a whole new level of whacky thats for damn sure. Long before the alternian empire planted their roots here Ive been dealin with oppression. My brother and me bounced around from foster home to foster home cuz nobody wanted us. DEREK: We had to fight to live. And we made a name for ourselves in our own ways.

DEREK: And then the alternians took my son from me. -pauses his pacing, looking at the audience with furrowed brows- DEREK: I let my anger and my hatred twist me up into somethin awful. I was afraid. I was a coward. It drove me to do shit thats no better than what I went through growin up and it became this vicious cycle. DEREK: I couldve poured all those feelings into something that fucking mattered. I couldve fought back. I couldve protected my remaining son. But I was afraid. I was one man. Because I thought it was over for me... I thought there was nothin left. DEREK: -sighs, pacing again- Point is... DEREK: Yall are livin in a scary word right now. But you gotta fight. You gotta use that fear. DEREK: Youll be makin a better world for yourself. For your family. For billions of folks who deserve a chance to be happy.

DEREK: Dirk. Dave... Russet and Ryan. Im gonna make a better world for you. -STARTS THE MUSIC-

DAVENFORTH: -Damn bro-

RILEY: -she's totally crying backstage-

RILEY: -god damn it derek-

DEREK: This is the beat we dance to. Tribal warfare let the rhythm prepare you. Theres too much fear and we’ve been given a handful. Its time to break out aint no need to be careful. Ground breaker movement maker. Too many sleep walkers we need a wake up. Dont believe what you see cuz what is you see is fake. If triple zs is the steez we gon need a shake up.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son.

I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DEREK: -COME ON EVERYBODY GET HYPE-

DEREK: Weve been at war too long its time to make art. Too much TV my brains scarred. Smokes and mirrors its hard to take part. The rhetorics flat so I must stay sharp. There's too many sheep and not enough brave hearts. If youre ready for roll then lets go.

DEREK: Even if Im 1 in 100000. Imma stay strong never backing down from. Anything that comes Imma stand my ground son. I give you my word thats one you can count on.

DAVENFORTH: FUCK DAVENFORTH: IT DAVENFORTH: UP

DAVENFORTH: -Jamming backstage-

DEREK: So just bounce to this. Go ahead and get down to this. I can go for round for round on this. And Im a man of my word so you can count on it.

RILEY: GO BABY!

DEREK: Alls my life I has to fight. Alls my life I... Hard times like yah. Bad trips like God! Nazareth Im fucked up. Homie you fucked up. But if God got us then we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DAVENFORTH: -Anyone unfortunate to be backstage with Davenforth is gonna get a double helping of these rhymes.-

DEREK: -definitely singing these hooks I just didnt wanna edit them whoops-

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: We gon be alright. We gon be alright. We gon be alright. Do you hear me do you feel me? We gon be alright.

DEREK: When you know, we been hurt, been down before. When our pride was low lookin' at the world like "where do we go?" And we hate Popo wanna kill us dead in the street for sure. I'm at the preacher's door. My knees gettin weak and my gun might blow but we gon be alright.

DEREK: I keep my head up high. I cross my heart and hope to die. Lovin me is complicated. Too afraid. A lot of changes. I'm alright and youre a favorite. Dark nights in my prayers.

DEREK: -exhales... HE DID IT-

RILEY: -SO MUCH CLAPPING SHES SO PROUD-

DAVENFORTH: -He's out on stage so fast and jumping on his brother, damn his image-

DAVENFORTH: Thats how you do that shit

QIRIN: ^_^

QIRIN: 👏👏👏👏

DEREK: -laughs, swinging an around around the brother. WHAT A DORK. both of them really.- Fuck yeah.

DAVENFORTH: -Starts talking into the mic DAVENFORTH: Not only is this my brother hes my twin like he told you for so many years all we had was each other thats his back to to back against the fucking world no exaggeration DAVENFORTH: Sometimes though you separate and fuck up and you dont know of the strife that each other has been through DAVENFORTH: While derek was dealing with his pains i was dealing with my own and still continuing to strive and bring entertainment and satire of the fucking bullshittery of a fucking empire but there was still that void DAVENFORTH: Even if you cant fight you can make a difference i promise DAVENFORTH: not everyone can pull a trigger and you shouldnt have to no one should be made to come to that but like derek said DAVENFORTH: Art expression just being is direct and complete defiance to a system and a people and way of life that wants you eradicated DAVENFORTH: Unfortunately the enemy has come in and has given you no other option but to fight DAVENFORTH: They dont think you will thats why everything we know and love has been perveted and destroyed DAVENFORTH: Nows your chance to let them know it wont fly anymore and me and my bro are gonna give you some good music to be real defiant to DAVENFORTH: Dirk dave i know youre out there bein strong and listenin to your old ass uncle ramble but im proud of you kids im glad i got the chance to meet you and watch you grow DAVENFORTH: Russet jinjin and cereza ima see yall soon love you girls youre probably gonna hear about all the stupid shit i did from your moms but know that most of it was for you

DEREK: -yeeeeeees- Lets do this shit man. -claps him on the back and bobs some more as the music gets going.-

DEREK: How long before the hate that we hold Lead us to another Holocaust? Are we so deep in it that we can't end it? Stop hold ever call it off. Its too clear nuclears too near. And the holders of the molotov. Say that Revolutions right here right now And they aint callin off.

DAVENFORTH: Lets fuckin do it

DAVENFORTH: Wake up roll an eighth up DAVENFORTH: Throw a double finger with a fist DAVENFORTH: Here at the abyss DAVENFORTH: I will be your tour guide DAVENFORTH: It is war time check your wrists (Ready kids) DAVENFORTH: Over to your right shine a light DAVENFORTH: Got a bevy ready for the fight DAVENFORTH: I just wanna live i dont wanna ever have to load a clip DAVENFORTH: Only hunt bliss DAVENFORTH: I am still a kid in my heart DAVENFORTH: But these motherfuckers sick DAVENFORTH: They dont give a shit not at all DAVENFORTH: They dont even want to let you take a little piss in a pot DAVENFORTH: Listen along DAVENFORTH: They dont want your love shit is bugged DAVENFORTH: Motherfuckers steady getting rich from the blood DAVENFORTH: Love when you beg DAVENFORTH: Trust i would sooner put a puckered pair of lips to the sun DAVENFORTH: Love will survive DAVENFORTH: Run out under iridescent lights for our lives DAVENFORTH: I will be surprised if we ever got the feeling so alive as tonight DAVENFORTH: Wild for the night DAVENFORTH: Look into my eyes DAVENFORTH: I am standing at your side for the fight DAVENFORTH: Minds over might DAVENFORTH: Swear to God DAVENFORTH: They could barely even see the dog DAVENFORTH: They dont see the size of the fight

DEREK: Wake up. Drink water. Smoke blunt. Clean. Oil my Kalashnikov. Stockpile ten for me and friends in case shit get to poppin off. The evening news givin yous views. Telling you to pick your master for president. Been behind the curtain seen the devil workin. Came back with some evidence. Im here to tell you dont let em tell you whats right wrong. Make love smoke kush try to laugh hard and live long. That's the antidote. You defeat the devil when you hold onto hope. Cuz kinfolk life is beautiful. And we ain't gotta die for them other men. And I refuse to kill another human being. In the name of a government. Cuz I don't study war no more. I dont hate the poor no more. Gettin more aint whats more. Only thing more is the love. So when you see me. Please greet me with a heart full. And a pound and a hug.

DAVENFORTH: -Sings the hook-

DEREK: -DANCIN AROUND-

DEREK: Seen the devil give a sermon in the church. Seen an angel dancing in the club. Tryin to feed a baby so I threw a thousand in the air. And blessed her with a hug. I done been down so many times. Walked on like a dirty rug. And now that I made it can't fake it. Gotta give me what Im truly worthy of.

DAVENFORTH: And I don't how much it really means to be right DAVENFORTH: And what a joy itd be to see some peace in this life DAVENFORTH: And it occurs to me that maybe we aint ever really seen any right DAVENFORTH: Here in the dark DAVENFORTH: Hoping just to see a beam of the light

DEREK: Hear what I say we are the business today. Fuck shit is finished today. Derek and Dave we the new PB and J. We dropped a classic today. We did a tablet of acid today. Lit joints with the matches and ashes away. SKRRRT! We dash away. Donner and Dixon the pistol is wrapped on the way.

DAVENFORTH: -BOUNCING AROUND-

DAVENFORTH: Doctors of death DAVENFORTH: Curing our patients of breath DAVENFORTH: We are the pain you can trust DAVENFORTH: Crooked at work DAVENFORTH: Cookin up curses and slurs DAVENFORTH: Smokin my brain into mush DAVENFORTH: I became famous for flamin you fucks DAVENFORTH: Maimin my way through the brush DAVENFORTH: There is no training or taming of me and my bruh DAVENFORTH: Look like a man but im animal raw

RILEY: -dancin backstage-

DEREK: We are the murderous pair. That went to jail and we murdered the murderers there. Then went to Hell and discovered the devil. Delivered some hurt and despair. Used to have powder to push. Now I smoke pounds of the kush. Holy Im burnin a bush. Now I give a fuck about none of this shit. Jewel runner over and out of this bitch.

QIRIN: =joins riley=

DAVENFORTH: Step into the spotlight

DEREK: WOO!

DAVENFORTH: Copping of uppers and downers get done DAVENFORTH: I'm in a rush to be numb DAVENFORTH: Droppin a thousand ain't much DAVENFORTH: Come from the clouds DAVENFORTH: On a missile to turn this whole town into dust DAVENFORTH: Dont make a sound, baby hush DAVENFORTH: I am the living swipe right on the mic im a slut DAVENFORTH: I dont know how to not spit like a lout DAVENFORTH: Ill spill a pound of my kids on your couch

RILEY: -hip bumps qirin DAMN YOU GOT SOME BONY HIPS AM I RIGHT-

DEREK: Half of a mongrel and mythical team. Villainous treacherous things. Legend says Daveys a spawn out of Hades. The myth is my mamas a murderous queen. Your life can end like in Godfather 1. You get the gun as I christen my son. If I die today and it's Hell I should pay. Tell the Lord Derek said Fuck it was fun.

DAVENFORTH: Every new records my dick in a box DAVENFORTH: We get a doozy the mulas a lock DAVENFORTH: Youre getting used to me doing no wrong DAVENFORTH: I dont play chicken you prick im a fox DAVENFORTH: You wanna kick it ill give you the rocks DAVENFORTH: You kiss the wood chipper blade if you balk DAVENFORTH: Im fuckin magic in fact im a warlock of talk DAVENFORTH: I got a unicorn horn for a

DAVENFORTH: AND THE CROWD GOES

DEREK: Mike Pentangeli wont snitch. Ill rent a room at the Ritz. Ill sip a fifth of the whisk. Ill smoke a dub in the tub. Then I will split both my wrists.

DAVENFORTH: Ill pull a sword on you simps DAVENFORTH: Just with a flick of the wrist DAVENFORTH: Get your neck giving up mist DAVENFORTH: Me and rek skip away whistlin and grin DAVENFORTH: Every days golden when you only win

DEREK: Bullyin bastards and beatin on beats. Sounds like a day at the beach preach. I keep it middle school, step on your feet. Before you can speak,blow to the teeth.

DAVENFORTH: We move among the ones you think are meek DAVENFORTH: You think im lion you right, see my teeth DAVENFORTH: Dont be a bore when im roaring vamoose DAVENFORTH: Huntings no fun when your prey doesnt move DAVENFORTH: Ill put a gun to a bunny like choose DAVENFORTH: Say somethin funny or bunny go boom DAVENFORTH: You got a bevy of shit you could groove DAVENFORTH: Wed like to thank you for choosing our crew

DEREK: And thats from the crew you can trust. Warranty plus for fuckin shit up. We are the no-gooders do-gooders. Known to the dancers and dealers and doers of dust.

DEREK: -throws his hands up. yEEAAAHH.-

DAVENFORTH: -Looks dead in the camera and runs his thumb across his neck-

RILEY: -what she didn't completely understand before, she does now. they have to do this. somebody has to.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 21

DAVENFORTH: -Finally, it is finished. Dave is just sitting on stage, legs hanging off the edge while having a smoke. If it looks like he's brooding, it's because he is.-

MAYOR: -copying his pose. He, too, is brooding, sitting on top of an amp.-

RILEY: -she's back at it again at the theater for her own reasons when she sees Dave is still here. And the adorable mayor. she sighs and goes over to him- you love here now or what?

DAVENFORTH: Just making sure it's all good and spending some quality time with the mayor aint that right mayor

MAYOR: -WAVES-

RILEY: -waves back at the mayor- cute. you slept at all or...

DAVENFORTH: Lif threatened to fork me if i didnt

PENNY: -APPEARS from behind the stage- yeah I bet shell fork you.

PENNY: just tried on my outfit.

DAVENFORTH: Still fit

PENNY: bitch Ill come over there and sock you.

RILEY: -surprised to see penny here but not at the same time- i wanna see.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

PENNY: youll see it. tomorrow. -B)-

PENNY: -walks over to Davenforth and nudges him- what you brooding for? its all coming together like you wanted.

RILEY: rude. -she waits for daves answer to that question-

DAVENFORTH: Love it when a plan comes back together

DAVENFORTH: Everybody ready to see a dead man come back to life

RILEY: you bet.

PENNY: -squints down at him-

DAVENFORTH: Its gonna be one hell of a party -Grins up at Penny-

PENNY: ... -leans in real close to his face. Like UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE.-

PENNY: -she SNIFF-

DAVENFORTH: -Smooches her nose-

RILEY: well okay.

PENNY: BAUGH?? -reels back-

PENNY: you fuck.

PENNY: -does he smell like alcohol tho-

DAVENFORTH: -Not now, just smoke-

PENNY: -she knew it-

PENNY: -slumps over him from behind and hugs his neck. SHE HAS ACQUIRED A KINDRED SPIRIT HERE SHE IS PRETTY SURE.- PENNY: its gonna go off.

PENNY: dont be dumb and stop worrying.

PENNY: you know what youre in this for Jesus.

RILEY: alternatively, you're in this for jesus.

PENNY: fuck me in the ass cuz I love Jesus.

RILEY: book of penny chapter 4 verse 20.

ERIDAN: -walks in, hears this, walks back out again.-

RILEY: -give me twinkies bitch-

PENNY: -lmao-

DAVENFORTH: Whats that about jesus and and fucking in the ass what is this sacrilege

RILEY: now we know the buzzwords that get your attention.

DAVENFORTH: Peep my piper scarf

PENNY: its what the good lord would have wanted.

DAVENFORTH: Anal with you

DAVENFORTH: Yeah okay

RILEY: -she's snickering-

DAVENFORTH: Everyone got their songs picked

DAVENFORTH: Seems like penny wants a duet with jesus

PENNY: more like a threesome.

DAVENFORTH: That could probably be arranged

RILEY: who's the third?

PENNY: ever heard of the holy trinity?

DAVENFORTH: The mayor obviously

RILEY: i'm just wondering if you're planning on being a part of it. If you're an outside party then we're going foursies.

PENNY: Jesus take the wheel and also these tiddies.

DAVENFORTH: Not on stage

RILEY: aw man. RILEY: i need to figure out what the hell i'm gonna wear so i don't look like I have a basketball under my shirt.

PENNY: give yourself HUGE titties instead.

DAVENFORTH: -penny are you drunk-

RILEY: i mean...that comes with the territory.

DAVENFORTH: Just tig ol biddies

RILEY: that don't feel great. RILEY: do you guys know what shit you're gonna perform yet?

DAVENFORTH: Im pretty much set unless you had some ideas to throw at me

RILEY: well we're doing one.

DAVENFORTH: -Raises an eyebrow-

RILEY: yep.

PENNY: oh???

RILEY: yep.

DAVENFORTH: What are we singing

RILEY: well i was thinking...we could figure that out.

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah

DAVENFORTH: Well think up something dope

RILEY: depends if you wanna sing or rap or both I guess. run this town maybe. i could see us pulling that off.

DAVENFORTH: Could get Derek in on that one

RILEY: yeah, actually. -looks at penny- you wanna?

PENNY: um yes?

RILEY: then fuck, let's do it.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck yeah lets get it

DAVENFORTH: Think i got one for me and penny too

RILEY: oh? -raises eyebrows a few times-

DAVENFORTH: Yep fourfiveseconds

RILEY: -grins at penny- that mean i get to hear you sing?

PENNY: you get to hear something. Im not gonna call it singing.

RILEY: hey, i'll take it.

DAVENFORTH: Please dont embarrass me

PENNY: too late. I already had plans to grab your dick on stage.

DAVENFORTH: Thats not even embarrassing

PENNY: call me Miley and Ill go full cow on you.

DAVENFORTH: Thicc

DAVENFORTH: Hope you dont expect me to dress up like beetlejuice up there

RILEY: i doubt any of us have even the slightest capacity for embarrassment.

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 20

[There's even more posters around campus. Seems they've been revised. There's something about the return of...Robyn Saint and Dave Skellington????!!!!!!! INCONCEIVABLE!]

DAVENFORTH: -Still hard at work getting things set up. Now it's mostly a matter of getting this signal masking device up in running. A few of the students volunteered their time, helping set up lights. This is looking like a real concert venue. There's even more of those Dave Skellington vending machines about the place. Some folks have gone to try and buy movies from then. Sometimes they'll get a movie, but not necessarily the one they asked for, or maybe they'll get memorabilia, or a tab, maybe even a bottle of AJ, or even...their money back in exact change. The possibilities are really endless. A couple have even spit out t-shirts specific to this exact concert. Weird.-

[gulescamisade]

Virginia:  Day 18

[Woah! Where did all these flyers get on campus?? A free concert? College students love free, right? Will there be food there? Probably. Will there be booze? Definitely. The cause for the concert? The new presidents, of course! It's high time to welcome them into office. Join various artists for this dedication concert to the most diabolical and intensely stupid presidents since Trump himself. Tonight only!]

DAVENFORTH: -Currently raiding the AV club for equipment.-

JEFF: =Peeps at Dave's raiding= JEFF: .... Howdy there.... um, d'you need some help in here?

DAVENFORTH: Yeah grab that amp and that switchboard for me

DAVENFORTH: -Wheeling out this broadcast equipment-

DEREK: -he's here too, relaying messages from the sonion-

JEFF: Oh, um, alrighty. =Grabs the things and hoists them. He's a strong bean, follows= JEFF: This is for that concert right? =He's sweaty about that..... it might put them in danger=

DAVENFORTH: Yep

MAYOR: -scampering around all the movement going down here-

ERIDAN: -burning distantly from some doorway. Smothered in heavy shadow.-

DAVENFORTH: People are way too complacent about the authoritarian state in place and its time to get them rowdy about their own lives

JEFF: Well.... I... can get that perspective... JEFF: We get by here th-though...

MAYOR: -CATCHES A FLIER AND STARES AT IT-

DAVENFORTH: How long are you gonna get by until youre all thats left to stand up

DAVENFORTH: Cannibalism is being normalized and the people are being sedated by shitty soda and carnival games

DAVENFORTH: Again i ask

DAVENFORTH: How long are you just gonna get by until getting by isnt enough

JEFF: =Hhhhhhhh, some internal and external wheezing= We don't.... actualy have that much trainin to fight... JEFF: They send... they send specialized fighters after... (people who get all... rowdy...) =He mumbles off feeling like a coward but he's just a humble engineer nerd he's never had to fight. LOOK AT THIS SQUISH, he's VULNERABLE=

ERIDAN: honestly youre wwalkin out there wwith a great circular target sight right betwween your fuckin eyes -Steps in for Jeff. Yes, he's well aware that Jeff is vulnerable and squishy.-

DAVENFORTH: Like the acrobats right

JEFF: =Thanks Eridan and nods= Y-yeah.... like them.

DAVENFORTH: Thats valid and i respect that

ERIDAN: say maybe not you but evveryone else wwho aint got the gall to do nothin but stand in your general vvicinity

DAVENFORTH: Were working with an expert to mask the broadcast location

DAVENFORTH: You wanna stay off camera thats fine work the cameras and keep em on me

DAVENFORTH: Not tryin to bring you trouble but this shit right here

DAVENFORTH: Sometimes you gotta get dangerous

ERIDAN: -squints mistrustfully.- wwhatevver ERIDAN: dont fuck up the initial plan or im personally makin it so you dont get further than the front gate ERIDAN: -and with that, struts off. He's got a patrol to do.-

JEFF: Um... =Watches Eridan go= I can.. work a camera yeah.

DAVENFORTH: Roger that gilly the squid

JEFF: =Still sweaty about this situation... he feels like he's just being a wimp by not fighting but he's not the fighting type. He's just a behind-the-scenes buildy guy=

DAVENFORTH: Think about it this way jeff

DAVENFORTH: Youre the architect of a revolution

MAYOR: -CRUNPLES THE PAPER.... he is having an Internal Crisis or-- stuffing it into his rags for more padding, maybe, who knows. HE SCURRIES AWAY SUDDENLY.-

JEFF: =Laughs a little, watching the Mayor run off= Well... that seems a lil dramatic... haha =But he likes it....=

DAVENFORTH: Its the truth

DAVENFORTH: How many people would you say are complacent and already defeated with the way things are

DAVENFORTH: -Brings this stuff to the school theater. They're getting things set up. He sets down the equipment he has-

JEFF: I guess that is a lil true.... =walks with him and sets the things he's carrying down carefully. Rubbing his arm= JEFF: Well.... I can help you out more. However you need it. Um. Whoever needs me here.

DAVENFORTH: I understand if you or other folks are scared thats okay i guess doin something like this requires a fair disregard for my own life but that dont mean i want anyone to follow suit if they arent feelin it

DAVENFORTH: That being said fighting is dangerous stuff but no one got anywhere in history without sacrifice

DAVENFORTH: The people deserve to know they have other options and they can have better they just have to reach out and take it

DAVENFORTH: It sure as hell wont be given

JEFF: =Exhales..... that's true, he doesn't stop rubbing his arm= Good point.... JEFF: We all doin this is... pretty risky.. even if it's comfortable. JEFF: So... yeah. It won't be easy... breakin out of this... =MNG=

DAVENFORTH: No it wont but i feel like youll be proud of yourself for taking the steps

JEFF: Hah... it's.. uncharacteristic that's for sure...

DAVENFORTH: How old are you jeff

JEFF: Uh, 26. =Adjusts glasses=

DAVENFORTH: Youll be thanking yourself in a year

JEFF: I mean... assuming we last the year I suppose I will haha...... =Oh was that inappropriate... coughs into fist=

DAVENFORTH: Youre a really optimistic motherfucker arent you jeff -He grins-

JEFF: Hahaha s'pose I am, someone's gotta be. =Smiles a little, he made a connection here=

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah

DAVENFORTH: -He's gonna still be around, setting things up and following Dirks instructions on how they can mask their broadcast. Thanks nephew.-