Hey! I'm SO sorry about that Funeral D-bag. With costs being so tight, I'm curious if you are doing cremation, and if you know about your all inclusive direct cremation rights? Many funeral homes violate it to charge more so I was hoping to maybe help cut costs if this is the route you are going + not too late. If you want more details, best quick info is "Ask a Mortician Least Expensive Death Option" on youtube. Either way I'll be donating ASAP - I hope things turn better quickly!
Thank you..! You guys are so super sweet and I am really grateful for you both. I checked out her videos, and I am 1000% sure we were manipulated into double the cost and denied a lot of basic rights.
We did choose cremation, but I only learned about direct cremation after we had been pushed to pick a funeral home… and because we believed the cremation had already taken place and been “handled” by the funeral home, I didn’t feel like there was anything I could do to start disputing the cost… They never offered direct cremation as an option or even mentioned a third local crematory that probably was significantly cheaper. I mean, of course they wouldn’t… and after all of us, sobbing, admitted that “we’ve never done this before”, they’d know we’d be none the wiser. So why mention it if you can make a buck, right? Even if he swore up and down it’s the most inexpensive option and garbage like that.
I feel so manipulated because I didn’t speak up more… I thought it was already out of my hands because I didn’t understand enough. But when I did ask him about the casket and alternatives (which apparently is the “alternative casket”? and my mom even DESCRIBED it as a large box like in one of AaM’s videos!) and he just… “WE here at [redacted] use this small black casket box as our cheapest option, the OTHER place does that box but I think it’s too chintzy. :)!!!” and “this is what comes directly from the crematory” so we felt like we had no other option and he knew that. Because he was already soo inconvenienced, and because he was allowing us the privilege of making payments on it (because he NORMALLY “Really hates that! :)") he already had an upper hand.
I just get so frustrated thinking about it, you guys! I hate how you have to demand basic service for low income families. I feel naive about a lot of Life Things as it is, and I know no one would expect someone to be prepared and knowledgeable about death arrangements (not even my Mom, who has faced it more times than one should).... and especially when we were 100% sure grandma would live well into her 90′s, including herself. And I know they’re likely violating some sort of law, but we couldn’t afford to dispute or report it, nevermind get an attorney just to throw a fit over a 1.5k price difference. The cost alone wouldn’t be worth it. I just. I just… gotta let it go. It’s painful, but it could be so much worse.
I’m sorry to go on about it like this. Once the anger subsides, I promise I’ll be okay… But I really appreciate you both, for thinking of me and feeling protective of me. I’m glad I could learn this information at all. Also, thank you from the bottom of my heart if you do donate, even the tiniest amount adds up and that is food money I don’t have to take extra commissions for in the long run. Thank you.
