#text message conversations

[ismileanyway]

Netflix can update to be all pretty but can't set it so I can delete shit off my "Continue to watch" list....I don't watch credits so I have stuff just sitting here.....

I don't like clutter so it's driving me nuts.

[lizthirose]

Occasionally, this is me with one of my best friends, texting...

Friend: (watching Thor) That moment when Thor parks his hammer on Loki... *giggles*

Me: Not funny. Not funny at all.

Friend: Loki's face is... *giggles*

Me: *deathglare* *stalks over, cuddles and carries away Loki* *deathglare continues*

Friend: *chuckles* *takes a look at Loki being carries away* *chuckles even more*

Me: *comes back, Loki still in arms, for another deathglare*

Friend: *walks over to Thor, looks at him, looks back at Loki and falls into the arms of Thor laughing*

Me: Convenient, going over to Thor first and laughing then so you have an excuse to fall into his arms...

Friend: Says the one who has Loki on her shoulder.

Me: In my arms, there's a difference. And just because he's all cuddly and needy for some love and affection.

(Would have posted actual screenshots, but we were texting in our usual two language mix ;))

[allthe-citylights-blog]

in which karri & i discuss ezra & mrs. hastings

K: He was all "I'm sorry to bother you at home" and I was all "What made you think you could? Do you guys have poker nights we don't know about?"

Me: I mean, seriously. Is she like, "Hey Fitz, can you proofread this deposition for me?"

[orochinem0]

S: This week's recap is pretty fucking entertaining - all about how Shay's straight best friend was thinking about Shay while she had a drunken shag w/ some dude.

Me: P-p-p-poker face

S: Right XD

S: She was def bluffin with her muffin

Me: Was she stunnin with her love glue gunnin? (I have no idea what the fuck that means.)

S: Come to think of it, I bet she was.

Me: Harboring secret gayness, or using a glue gun inappropriately?

S: I have no idea.

[catharsis-dreaming]

My Hated Pony

David: Oddly enough, I find Princess Celestia the most annoying pony. I don't want to learn things, I just want loads of fluffy adorableness.

Me: I've only watched like 4 episodes but I'm a fan of her flowing mane. Applejack pisses me off. There's only so much hillbilly I can take before I want to attack small children.

[catharsis-dreaming]

Text Duels

Inahat: I call being rogue! ROGUE. DOUBLE DIBS. YEEESSSSS. Anyone dares the Ironman to battle for the Rogue will be slain in thy bedchamber before the next rising sun. (insert sly grin here)

Me: Hi, Lady Macbeth. I see you really want to be Rogue. I CHALLENGE YOU!!!!

Inahat: I THOUGHT YOU WANTED WARLOCK!!!!?????? I already picked rogue, I love you JC, but my name is alllll over that shiznit!!!

Me: FOOL!!!!!!!! It was a cleverly planned trap. I actually wanted rogue but wanted to challenge someone!

Inahat: Daaaaaaammmmmnnnnnn yoooooouuuuu nooooo!!!!!

Me: Das what I thought.

Inahat: My muscles ain't no match for you fool!

Me: COME AT ME, BRO!! Qurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!! I know alllllll the martial arts. It's the REAL language of my people. I don't neeed brawn when I got the brains, baby.

Inahat: I'm so quick, I'll kill ya in your bed chamber before you know it.

Me: Naw, man. I have ninja skills to the max and back again. I'm like a jellyfish. I live 5ever...dat means I live moar than 4ever.

Inahat: Jellyfish glow like neon fireworks in the dark, you're a walking target.....

Me: Come get a taste of something electrifying then.

Inahat: I think you're forgetting the easiest cure to a jellyfish sting...you may want to consider checking on that before referring to yourself as a jellyfish. You may end up stinging yourself.

Me: Worst comes to worst...I'll just choke you. YEAH, MAN. AIN'T NO HEIMLICH MANEUVER THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE IF I CHOKE YAAAA

Inahat: I WILL FLUSH YOU DOWN A TOILET INTO THE SEWER BEFORE I LET A JELLYFISH CHOKE ME

Me: Yeah??? Come over here and say that. Oh WAIT. You can't because I'm CHOKING YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!

[catharsis-dreaming]

Myths & Legends

It's midnight.  I should be taking a shower and getting ready for bed but instead Brittle Bones and I are exchanging interesting and hilarious text messages.  I'm dying of laughter in my seat as one of her messages talks about how she legitimately thought Cher was a man until she saw a picture of her.  The topic of the night strays to music and we're comparing our guilty music pleasures.  Hers is Ellie Goulding's cover of Elton John's 'Your Song.'  After Youtubing it, I assure her that it's an excellent cover and she shouldn't be ashamed of liking the cover more than the original.  I embarrassingly admit that the Backstreet Boys back in their glory days are my guilty music pleasure.  She argues that it isn't an embarrassing group to like.  I tell her I skip each and every one of their songs when my windows are rolled down and another car pulls up next to me at a red light.  There's a brief pause between us until my phone buzzes with her response.

'Oh. Yeah, I see why you'd be embarrassed.'

Another lull falls and as I listen to some tunes, I quickly type her a message.

'If your life had a theme song, what would it be?'

I get through two songs, one is 'I'll Drown' by Sóley and another is a score from a soundtrack, before my phone vibes next to my left hand.

'I Like Birds' - Eels. I feel like I don't need to explain that one.  There isn't a I Like Cows one. :/'

I type the song into Youtube and give it a listen.  It's so derpy and the lyrics sound like something she'd write if she were on morphine.  It's perfect.  Well...almost perfect.  If it was a song dedicated to her spirit animal, the cow, THAT would be the perfect song for her.  After a few more sidetracked texts, she asks me back what my theme song would be. 

'Touch My Body' - Mariah Carey.'

Immediately she sends me a dry and sassy text back.  I laugh on my end and get back to the original question.  I ponder for a moment about what song would be able to aptly describe me and begin to scroll through my iTunes library.  My eyes stop on the Avatar: The Last Airbender soundtrack my friend sent me the other day.  Sliding my phone open, I began to hesitantly message her my real answer.

'Obvi I've got a hot body :b you might have to youtube but I think I'd have to go with 'Devine Medium' from the Avatar: The Last Airbender soundtrack.'

A good chunk of time flies by and I'm a bit nervous.  It's a completely instrumental piece that spans only 2 minutes and 45 seconds. I send another message saying that another theme song could be 'Weightless' by Nada Surf. 

Nothing.

A bit of anxiety knots in the pit of my stomach and I decide to watch some of the videos from Kylie Minogue's live concert in London for her Aphrodite album.  In the middle of 'Love at First Sight' my phone lights up and Brittle Bones' name appears on the screen next to the image of an unopened envelope.  

'Why do you choose a piece with no words?'

I knew the question was coming but I didn't think about what my answer would be.  I look at her message again and click to open up a new reply box to respond to her.  I entertain the idea of lying to her for a second but decide 'screw it' and begin to type my real reason.

'Aside from fitting every situation, I suppose the artsy reasoning is because some people don't give a shit about this type of music while some do.  It seems really repetitious and easily predictable but if someone actually takes the time, it's got layers on top of layers that create a full piece.  As narcissistic as it is, I'd like the way I care for someone be known as patient, slow, and more than words.'

My face heats up with vulnerability.  In a feeble attempt to try and lessen the honesty of my words, I send her another more light hearted message and reasoning.

'Plus, I'm asian and it's got piano, violin, and classical Chinese instruments in it. Done.'

A good ten minutes pass in silence and my neck is warm from embarrassment and shame until my phone hums to life with a new response.  Opening her message, I see that I'm caught.

'I like how you go all deep and intellectual and then put down your own choice with 'cause it's asian sad sad.'

Choosing to play it off cool, I decide to go down a less serious path with my response.  Something the typical loud and sarcastic me would say.

'Gotta be ying and yang, bro.  Thought it might be TMI compared to your soul animal music. 'nuff said.'

My phone buzzes moments later.

'It's not like I took music for 9 years or won a music scholarship or anything ;)'

I smile wryly at her message.  Damn, Brittle Bones.  It was kind of her to put it that way.  She's a pretty chill person and just rolls with the punches.  Witty and diligent at what she does.  She's got quite the attitude and sass that throws people off when they first see her.  Peoples' first impression of her is that she's a sweet and quiet girl.  Brittle Bones is definitely part sweet but she's witty and sarcastic as hell.  (That's probably why we get along so well.)  Brittle Bones is not quiet when you get to know her.  She may have a quiet voice but it just makes her comments that much more hilarious.  Who expects the sweet girl next door to make sassy and cheeky comments?

I've got to admit though, she's definitely got some smooth moves judging from her last message.  I didn't intend for that much honesty to come out but it tends to happen when the arts get involved or something is able to move me.  Reading her message over again, I huff.  Smart enough to banter with me. Definitely smart enough to see the way I tried to deflect the amount of honesty in why I chose 'Devine Medium.' 

I re-read the text message and heavily sigh at the stupid little irritating ';)'.  Stupid, Brittle Bones.  Damn message.

In translation, 'I understand you. You're safe with me.'

Damn my honesty and moment of weakness.

Damn her for not letting my words go.

Damn her for letting things slide.

Damn this kid and her tact.

Dammit.

I made a good friend.

[catharsis-dreaming]

I choose you, Jessikat!

Me: See the pokémon picture I drew of you? [drew a hissing and angry cat]

Brittle Bones: Haha, yeah! lol bone snap.

Me: Your four attacks are: bone snap, steam wand, rage quit, and bacon pancakes. C: Also, take note of your hit points in relation to your level.;D I was going to put beep test as an attack. Imagine...running back and forth away from an enemy.

Brittle Bones: Why you gotta go making fun of my body? Just 'cause I'm a celiac and lactose intolerant...

Me: Jessikat used steam wand! No Bro's defense fell. No Bro is confused. No Bro used Judging Face. Jessikat's Sarcasm went up.

Me: FYI, No Bro > Slowbro. Ooh! You'd evolve from Jessikat to Jessikow, amirite?

Brittle Bones: Just cranking out the jokes about my bod, huh?

Me: Your attacks as Jessikow would be: calcium pill, udder slap, what'd your face just say, and poo goo. Only two of them are detrimental to you. you've gone up in the poké world.

Brittle Bones: Jessikow uses what did your face just say. Slowbro is confused! Attack was not very effective...

Me: Jessikow used udder slap! Slowbro took a nap. 3 turns later~ slowbro wakes up and acknowledges that Jessikow made fun of its face. Slowbro cried itself into a coma.

Brittle Bones: Where do you come up with this stuff??

Me: JC used sassy remark. Jessikow's question was deflected! Also, Jessikow's supply of soy milk was destroyed.

Brittle Bones: ;w;