#textposthumor

[mint-orchids]

[mint-orchids]

TUA as shit my friends have said 34/?

Five: I will only say this once to you two: I hope your future is filled with a life in the filthy depths of a sewer where your only company is a jazz quartet of rats who sing about how they’re going to steal your first born.

Klaus: Aww! Thanks!

Allison: What did you smoke today?

[mint-orchids]

if the crows cast wants to get together and do a dramatic reading of the duology i would make them a really nice charcuterie board totally not bribing them with a fancy charcuterie board but like if they wanted cheese and crackers if they wanted some charcuterie they gotta dramatic read the books but like totally not bribing them—

[mint-orchids]

tua as shit my friends have said 47/?

*singing everybody (backstreet’s back) in a laundromat*

Klaus, singing poorly: am i original!??

Viktor, Allison, Ben: yeeaaaaahhhh

Klaus: am i the only one?!?

Viktor, Allison, Ben: yeaaaaahhhh

Klaus: am i sexual!!?

Viktor, Allison, Ben: *general sounds of disagreement to the music*

[mint-orchids]

TUA as shit my friends have said 41/?

Klaus: Im going to put all of my food in this one bowl. Saves dishes. The food might touch, but that’s ok, because the flavors are friends.

Allison, with three separate plates so none of her food touches: What is this blasphemy?

[mint-orchids]

tua as shit my friends have said 46/?

Klaus: I think I get it now. Communism is like sex.

Allison: Please, stop talking. Now.

[mint-orchids]

tua as shit my friends have said 45/?

Five, sitting in a library: Hell is empty and the devils are here

a stranger sitting next to them turns slowly to look back at them confused:

[mint-orchids]

TUA as shit my friends have said 40/?

Klaus: So, now that he’s finally arrested… do you think we could break into his trial and start throwing shit at him?

Five: Like what, an ax?

Diego: Maybe knives or a grenade?

Luther: This is not good for my blood pressure

Klaus: I was thinking… like deviled eggs. like they did in gilmore girls.

Five:

Luther:

Diego:

Klaus: …

Diego: That actually sounds like fun

Five: Yeah, I’m with the egg plan

Luther: I’ll put them on the grocery list