The closeness was suddenly so overwhelming that Aaron had to lower his head and just—breathe. Breathe in the musk, the heat, everything that was Andrew underneath all of it. And breathe out, pushing it away before the haze at the back of his mind pulled him under. It was there, lurking, dragging at the edges of his control, reminding him of things he didn’t want to remember.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
It starts with red. The red of his father’s hair as it sticks with sweat to his forehead and turns a rusted shade matching the blood dripping from his knuckles. The red of Lola’s lipstick twists into a smile as she slides the knife home between the ribs over and over again. The red of his mother’s blood pouring from her body as they tear her apart piece by piece and laugh while Romero holds him down, forcing him to watch.
It’s all so red that he feels like he will drown in it — that he already is drowning and choking on his mother’s screams. Because in the end this is his fault.
{Read on AO3}
Oh what’s this? I’m not dead? That’s right! I’m back with a brand new tale for the @aftgbigbang! This year I’ve had the amazing opportunity to work with the amazing artist @fornavn and the best beta I could ask for @clockworkdragxn who have both helped me make this story amazing for you all! And the art. Oh man, I can’t wait for you all to see it!
The Foxhole Court
Fic Rec IV
Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V
A ★ indicates fics I would reread every day if I had no life
Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Baltimore Blues by SpangleBangle
He saw the duffel.
It was battered all to hell and the strap was nearly torn from the bag, but it still glowed almost neon in the darkening night and streetlamp glare. Neil would never…
He dropped to his knees beside it and rifled through it, looking for any sign, any clue as to where Neil might have run. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Until his fingers found the keyring. Until he found the phone.Andrew's perspective on the Binghamton riot and the walking tragedy that is Neil Josten.
Those That Broke Us by WriteThroughTheNight
"Neil doesn't talk about his mom and doesn't think about what she'd do to him if she saw him now. He has a family, he has Exy, and he has Andrew. He has more than enough, more than he ever could have dreamed of.Neil doesn't talk about his mom until a warm fall day outside the locker room, waiting for the start of their game with his team and family. It's a place that she doesn't belong, where not even a memory of her belongs, but she wriggles her way in and takes root in his chest." Or Neil reveals, piece by piece, what life with his mom was like.
Alternate Universe
A Castle of Curses by Greenninjagal (WIP)
Neil didn't mean to be found dying in the middle of the forest. He didn't mean to be saved by a couple mysterious voices. He definitely didn't mean to wake up in a castle.After a lifetime of run, run, running and lie, lie, lying Neil has no problem preparing to leave again. But upon waking up in a the rundown castle in the middle of nowhere, and no understanding of anything other than the people in it are extremely weird and hey-- wasn't that statue in another room before??-- Neil finds himself in a predicament he's never had to face before.Neil didn't mean to stay. And he most certainly didn't mean to wake the dragon.
★ call me in the afternoon by Jaylocked
Neil had literally been tortured on several occasions, and that was still better than this. (written for the prompt: "andrew and neil meet in a group therapy")
Connection through Pain by sacchan
Nathaniel was six years old, and he was in pain. His body ached, but the one actually in pain was his soulmate. Their connection started when he was born, but he noticed its existence only now, and the reminder was very cruel. From now on, Nathaniel would experience the pain and the nightmares of this other person, as they would do the same with his. Till one of them died.
★ Doe & Josten: Deductionists by SpangleBangle (WIP)
Andrew Doe, rude but brilliant consulting detective, thought he had no need of a partner as he worked slowly away at dismantling the largest crime family in the country, helping out with other cases on the side to relieve the tedium. That was, until a scruffy runaway with a stupid amount of secrets stumbled into his life. Or, more accurately, broke into his kitchen.
★ Eyes Half Closed by constellationqueen (WIP)
The A/B/O au that LITERALLY no one asked for. Sorry not sorry.Neil was promised to Riko when they were little, but Neil has no intention of being taken by that asshole. IDEK LEAVE ME ALONE
Like a River by Moonix (WIP)
Andrew was a statistical anomaly. He was both a Seer and a Squib, an unfortunate combination of genetic traits that still somehow got him into Hogwarts. He had both hands full babysitting Kevin Day, resident Quidditch prodigy, after the drama with Riko Moriyama in fifth year, and making sure his brother finished his last year of education after the death of their mother. What he did not need was another stray to take in – Neil Hatford, formerly Nathaniel Wesninski, prominent guest in Andrew's prophetic dreams with his blue, blue eyes and death omens flocking to him wherever he went. What he needed even less was to start pretending they were in a relationship, but then, Andrew never had been very interested in doing what was good for him.
My Way Home... by ionlyloveyouironically (WIP)
Two years after they run, Mary Hatford decides it's not working.At age 11, Andrew Doe moves into a massive house with his new foster mother, Stella Josten. They make a picture-perfect family: mother, son, and strange boy who lives inside the walls.
No Ordinary Cats by Nekojita
Andrew gets a little more than he bargained for when he rescues a tattered cat from some drunken idiots at work one night.
Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum by redFreckles (WIP)
It's probably Stockholm syndrome. It was only a matter of time, Nathaniel supposes. Years of violence of all sorts finally catching up to him, these four walls finally collapsing around him, Neil's firm resolve to not be broken slipping out from underneath Nathaniel's uncertainty and folding in on it's own shattered surface.Nathaniel hates Neil, sometimes, for what he means, what he represents. A hope long lost in the hands of his father as he sold him to the devil.Or in which Neil is sold, but not to the Moriyama's.
ode to sleep by jaylocked
Andrew’s barely even noticing his surroundings by the time he walks through the automatic doors, more ready for a Slurpee than he’s ever been in his whole life, but the sight of an attractive man effectively disarming and disabling a guy with a gun gets his attention pretty quickly.(written for the prompt: "Ok, so what if neil & andrew meet in a 7-11 where they both go when they can't sleep at night bc both of them are insomniacs + they're always half asleep so it takes them a while to notice each other.")
Pressure Points by puddlejumper99 (WIP)
Neil enrolls at Columbia High School and remarkably fails at remaining invisibleI've had to fuck with the timeline a bit to make it work in my mind? But most of the canon backstory is intact. Just shuffled about a littleHope you like it! I've never wrote much fanfic before these dumb exy boys completely consumed my life but i cant get them out of my head so here we are.
Right Here in the Light by OrdinaryVegan
A few members of the domestic Andreil household find themselves awake in the middle of the night. In other words, Andrew Minyard is the best father in the universe, and no one will convince me otherwise.
She was Found by OrdinaryVegan
AKA Piper: The Prequel
★ Something Sweet by horrorinabakset (WIP)
Neil's mother dies when he is fifteen. As a result, Neil ends up in Columbia, at a diner called Sweetie's. There he encounters a rather strange family, a boy raising his twin cousins.
staff recommendation by flybbfly
Andrew works at a bookstore. Neil stumbles in during a bad storm.
Taking in Strays by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot)
Neil picks up a stray. He and Andrew get a little attached.
The Definition of Overkill by WriteThroughTheNight
Neil and Andrew are neighbors and spiders that big should be illegal.
★ to know a man by moonix
In which the Foxes all work at a coffee shop run by Wymack, Neil is their newest recruit with a dark past, Andrew is obvious, Neil is oblivious, and everyone ships it apart from Aaron, who just wants to study in peace. With guest appearance by a stuffed jellyfish called Josephine.
Watermark by fairietailed (JereJean)
He hops into the kitchen on one foot, catching his mother before she carries the bowl of peas she’s holding into the dining room.“Jeremy?” Her eyebrows pull together in concern at the look on his face. “What is it?”“I don’t know,” he says, sticking out his foot. “I think it’s my soul mate?”--In which bruises and scars from your soulmate appear on your skin, and Jeremy's skin is a myriad of colored stains.
★ we’re kings of the killing by OneSweetMelody (WIP)
When Nathaniel Wesninski enters the Baltimore FBI field office, he comes out as Neil Josten and owes more than than a few favors FBI if he doesn't want to be slammed with a host of charges. With no choice but to work as an FBI agent to pay off his dues, Neil is assigned to a field office in Columbia, South Carolina. However, it only takes a few weeks for Neil's past start catching up with him and for him to start wondering if he's really all that safe in Columbia
Raven!Neil
dangerous and disquieting by feuchsli (WIP)
In which Mary's first attempt at stealing her son away has failed and she only succeeds five years later. But the damage is done and the lack of running-experience leads to Nathan catching up with them.
What we see here is the aftermath of that and the hell that is Nathaniel Wesninski's life—at least up to the point when he meets the Foxes and slowly becomes another person under the name of Neil Josten.
Dare You To by quexnk (goldveines) (WIP)
Nathaniel's place is at Riko's side, the hidden and elusive number three to Riko's perfect court. His identity is kept secret due to his father's history, but the three on his cheek tells the truth: some things can't be hidden - such as Nathaniel's inclination to his father's personality. Nathaniel isn't interested in being loyal to Riko, he's interested in playing Exy; and his methods aren't always to Riko or his partner, Jean's, benefit. He'll push both his own limits and those around him to play.
★ This is What Hollows by constellationqueen (WIP) (Rewritten)
A month after Kevin runs from the Ravens, Nathaniel Wesninski is sent to the Foxes as a message from Riko.
Fluff
Ache in my Bones, Ache in my Heart by imagined_melody
Andrew and Neil both find wintertime difficult to weather (pun intended). They take care of each other.
my heart is glowing fluorescent by dizzyondreams
Neil woke briefly, shallow wakefulness, that dreamy, half-sleep where he barely opened his eyes. He could hear soft talking from somewhere behind him, could smell cigarettes and boy sweat and laundry detergent, an oddly familiar smell, and before he could really take anything in he was asleep again.
Prologue Pt.2 - Then He Forged Himself Anew in the Flames
Neil waits and watches everything that will give him the edge he needs. He takes note of every guard shift, what keys go into whose hands, who watches him with blatant interest, who doesn’t bother to look at him at all, when the chimes of pins change every couple of months, everything. Neil waits and watches for the moment they slip, and he will seize the mistake and escape or die trying.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Neil Josten is yet another name in a long list of identities used to hide a boy long since dead from a past blood had been spilled to forget. Essentially, he is and always will be nothing. And yet there has always been one thing that made Neil Josten real: music. After his mother’s death, music and singing were the only things tying him the threads of reality by the strap of a well-worn guitar. Too bad he’s pretty sure that it’s also going to be the thing to kill him. Especially when Kevin Day, international rock star and blast of Neil’s past comes waltzing back into his life demanding he joins the upstart and infamous band EXY as its new vocalist. To make matters worse, Kevin’s unofficial shadow, Andrew Minyard with a rap sheet taller than he is has taken an interest in the lie that Neil Josten and has made it his mission to uncover the bloodied truth that lies beneath.
By all accounts, Neil should just pick up his guitar and disappear like he’s done so many times before, but the chance to be real and seen is almost enough for him to plant his feet for the first time in 11 years he’s been running. Going into the spotlight means certain death, but Neil’s just not so sure that leaving it would mean anything different.
It’s finally here!!! My addition to the @aftgbigbang hosted by the wonderful @defractum And let’s not forget some wonderful art by @uzea-ke which can be found on her blog.
I would just like to thank everyone who made this fic possible from my wonderful betas @lirinchi & @metaphoricallytheworst who helped with the idea stage of this fic and listened to me rant and rave like an absolute loon and to @nanfoodle who is to too good for this world and helped me polish and cut down this fic (ha) to the beauty that it is today. I cannot thank everyone enough for this opportunity to be a part of my first ever big bang!
and this one “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU!!
Anonymous: "You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!“ for an au prompt
Sorry about the ending - this has been sitting in my drafts for two weeks and I was getting impatient… This is on my list to be finished I promise :) (also if you have any ideas on how to end this send me a message or like… write it in the tags???)
Neil was relaxing in a borrowed Ford Fiesta that smelled like fish cakes, chugging a lukewarm bottle of water he had just bought from the gas station, and contemplating how much money he could spare on ethanol, when the passenger door swung open and slammed shut in one swift, chaotic movement.
“Drive.”
He didn’t have time to register how panicked he should be, but the small blonde didn’t seem like someone his father would hire, and his stern command didn’t sound even remotely as threatening as Romero or Malcolm. Even so, Neil calmly set his water bottle in the sticky cup holder and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “Who are you?”
The blonde suddenly rounded on him, his elbow coming up to Neil’s neck and applying pressure before he could even think about reacting. Neil faintly registered the familiar feeling of a knife pressed against his stomach, not quite puncturing the skin. “It doesn’t matter. You see those cops?”
Neil followed the blonde’s head tilt to the back window, where he noticed a few cop cars idling behind him in the gas station parking lot. Neil looked back at his captor and nodded as much as he was allowed, which wasn’t much.
“I don’t want to be caught by them, and judging by the state of your clothes and the fact that you aren’t even slightly tanned even though your license plate says Arizona, you don’t want to be caught either.”
It was a stretch, but Neil certainly didn’t want to spend the night in a police cell anytime soon. He could easily explain away the few accusations the blonde hit him with, but right now he just wanted to be far away from the cops now exiting their vehicles.
He tapped the blonde on the arm, “I can’t drive with a knife in my stomach.”
He was let go, but the knife remained poised between them. Neil admired the sleek design of it, definitely not something Lola would use, but the serrated edges were sharpened enough to filet a small pig. He shook his head to dismantle the direction of his thoughts and put the car in gear, tires squealing as he peeled out of the gas station parking lot. To his surprise, the policemen didn’t even glance at his vehicle as he pulled onto the nearest two-lane highway. He lowered his speed so he wasn’t breaking any laws, but kept his hand hovering over the gear shift.
“I locked the bathroom door and then snuck out the window. They’ll probably be occupied for at least another ten minutes.”
“That depends on how smart Columbia cops are,” Neil murmured, doing a few quick calculations in his head. There were three cop cars, two of which were just small city patrollers. The one he was most concerned with was the SUV with California printed on the license plate. Just what exactly did this kid do that warranted the arrival of an out of state cop?
“You’re right. 20 minutes.”
Neil shifted subtly in his seat to study his companion, who had slouched down and propped his legs on the passenger-side airbag. A study of nonchalance and apathy. “So what did you do?”
The kid didn’t answer him for awhile, keeping his eyes forward and expression blank. Neil had almost dropped the subject when the blonde suddenly spoke up, “Turns out cops don’t like it when you escape from their idea of rehabilitation.”
Neil considered this as he switched lanes, passing a semi truck who insisted on driving five miles under the speed limit. So the kid was either an escaped convict or an escaped mental patient. Great.
“Truth for a truth. What are you doing so far from home, Arizona?”
Neil wanted to laugh at the nickname, but he couldn’t find much humor in his current situation. “My mom was relocated for her job. I was on my way to school when you so eloquently barged in on my morning commute.”
“Hmmm you seem to think we’re playing truth for a lie.” The blonde didn’t show any hints of anger, but Neil eyed the knife he held over the center console all the same. “Distasteful game. Very one-sided.”
Neil rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel even harder. The kid was smarter than he originally thought. “I ran away from Arizona. Turns out fathers aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” Maybe he could give away half-truths and hope for the best.
He watched as the blonde digested this information. He didn’t know how long their game would last, but he knew that this car ride wouldn’t end very well. He eyed his duffel bag, tucked away next to the gas pedal at his feet, his mother’s gun safely hidden underneath piles of carefully folded clothes.
“Duly noted. Your turn.” The kid motioned with his knife for Neil to continue the game.
“Name?”
“Andrew. Yours?”
“Neil.”
“Either you’re used to switching names or you’re actually telling the truth.” Andrew mused while he adjusted the air conditioning.
“Glad that I can maintain your faith in humanity.” Neil quipped, swatting Andrew’s hand away from the dial and turning it back the way he had it. “Jail or mental hospital?”
“Neither. Juvie.”
Neil considered the blonde beside him. He really didn’t know what type of crimes warranted juvie over actual jail, but kidnapping an unsuspecting teenager at a gas station was probably up there on the list of federal offenses.
“Got any family left?”
Neil suddenly craved a cigarette. “Some. No siblings. You?”
“A twin. It was a recent development in my familial drama, so I wouldn’t delve too deep.”
Neil wasn’t planning on it.
They went on like that for about 30 miles, Neil giving Andrew half-truths about his past and his time in Millport, and Andrew hinting very sarcastically about a less than satisfactory time in juvie. Neil took every other exit on the highway, winding them through dilapidated towns with no real destination in mind. It was a learned behavior, but it came in handy in cases like these.
Narrator: it was at this point that @minyavd had @minyardfluff read the headcanon to decide how to end it.
But this was Andrew, and Aaron should have known better than to expect anything different. Should have remembered that Andrew's default setting was to shut down and shut out anything that came too close to matter. Aaron knew that. He’d always known that. And still, here he was, standing in front of the puzzle like an idiot, wondering why the pieces didn’t fit the way they had two days ago.
