The funeral was a few days ago
Writing this, all things considered aside, the permanence of it all is nauseating to recall
This was the first funeral, in my history, where the body was viewed…
Kiddo asked me why her hands felt different when she put on her friendship bracelets
First thing out was that our bodies go through changes even after our spirits go home
She seemed content with the answer
Sitting and talking with one of her long time friends
it occurred to ask “how do you manage through funerals?” I’d never endured one with the plight of such presence
She responded “not well…not well” as tears started to well in both our eyes
Never had a gentle touch been so refreshingly reassuring with a lingering firmness that requested reciprocity
She went on to say, as she held my gaze, “you just hold on to hope”
All things considered, I couldn’t tell if the hope was for them or us
I thanked her for sharing, with a reciprocal touch
She looked as if she’d just jolted awake and remarked “you’re always so appropriate and polite” a kind remark that left me humbly quiet
She departed and as I looked around the room I reflected…what would I want to typify my existence once I’m no longer an active participant?
The service started
Amazing Grace was sang without harmony a breathy choir of strangers stumbling to juggle sheet music and keep tandem with the tempo of a cover song they’d never heard
I took a moment to sip some lemonade
The eulogy pricked my
Heart and
Prompted me to see
The moments I thought she didn’t like me were just us reflecting and projecting
Two positives butting heads
As the stories were shared
I realized she loved me just like them
Little messages and check ins
No complaints
Just a hug
Updates and encouragement
We gave condolences to the first two rows
and the procession began