since we reached a hundred-ish tsh followers I need to come clean
i love francis but he’s a coward, the relationships he creates is because he’s literally collecting people and he’s predatory the way a fox is. i can go on
i never liked camilla and maybe that’s because I don’t understand her and maybe im not supposed to but! if i see another moodboard with a deer in it i might pull a sylvia plath. she is not a victim, she is sickeningly intelligent person and the fandom is terrified of touching that dynamic let alone understand it. but by implying that charles forced her throughout the book to have a sick relationship (maybe at the end it was a tad noncon) is proof of how misunderstood he is and how convo got richard molded her character into someone innocent and above violence but she was in the bacchanal and she was in with the murder it was charles who was initially against it which we deliberate chose to forget
which brings me to my next point
charles was sexually assaulted as a child and he’s SO misunderstood it makes me want to pull out my hair. i know the complexities of human nature might come as a shock to some people especially with how every single type of media creates one dimensional characters and then categories them as either good of bad and we only accept morally grey if it’s fuckable — but hold onto your seats and call a trusted adult but people can be both and the ideas of good/bad not only are a human construct but are also inadequate and dare i say insulting when used to sum up a whole person
on another topic i would fuck julian for the sole purpose of disappointing myself and I don’t understand why no one backs me up for this when I know there are more who think the same
going back to being a hater
I can’t stomach richard and i think he’s maybe even worse than henry (?) bc he killed a man just for funsies and then proceeded with making money off the said murder. now when people give him grace I feel they rarely speak about how the psychology of leaving your fucked up, unsupportive, emotionally messed up parents for the first time to go to a college that seeks the idea of a very exclusive paradise. maybe it’s just my humble upbringing but I feel him. personal headcannon he might have slightly whitewashed himself and when we Francis or Charles or henry gave him a boner he hooked up with Judy to prove to himself he likes women.
also I don’t particularly care about that thought he had about camilla bc he was high, intrusive thoughts and all that. the real “sexual assault” if you will is taking away any human trait of hers throughout the book-you know all the details that proved she was an alive and breathing girl.
bun bun is probably in some degree all of the things richard said he was but the fact that he was tolerated in that circle of enlightened intellectuals mostly reflects on them.
lastly
i don’t care how insufferable it might sound but i see myself in henry the way you look at water and suddenly realise how alone you truly are. -that was uncalled for im going through some stuff.
be aware there is more from where all that came from
