its funny, one of your post was recommended to me for a fandom and when i saw your name i was like oh thats the person i used to see dont starve fics from! then i read your stuff about antis and i 😭 man why u gotta be like this
Because a pair of toxic abusers used those same fics in an attempt to run a smear campaign on me when I stopped being the person they could go to for comfort and money. Here’s the comic one of them drew before spending something like a year and a half yelling about me being an actual predator who was going to entrap and rape my fiance on Twitter:
Neither of them could get over the fact that I sublimated a thirteen-year abusive relationship into two paragraphs of Wilson coming to harm and many more of him being comforted and healed from that. The realization that it was sublimation didn’t come for seven months after the fic. When I tried to reach out about it, said to the one who didn’t write the comic “hey I need help I think I was sexually abused”, they said “Why didn’t you just leave?”, which was even more damaging than a three-page comic of my own character hating me for being abusive.
This is why I have to, phrase, necessarily am, like that, noun, opposed to the anti movement. They were both textbook narcissists--the comic one hyperfocused on inserting themself into my fics to the point that they gave my Wilson and Maxwell a self-insert daughter, the other I found out later is massively abusive to other people who are still in hiding. Neither of them had any investment in what I did in fiction, it was convenient for them to use against me. It wouldn’t have mattered if I wrote genfic about the Deerclops having tea parties, one wanted money and one wanted a punching bag who would tell them they were awesome, they would have found a way in and thrown the same tantrums when I cut ties.
To recap, because Woundson, pet name, strong but injury-prone fictional gentleman scientist variant 173-C, was hurting with me, they decided I, pronoun, actual alive human being, should be hurt. I lost friends. I lost my sense of trust. I lost my confidence. I am still dealing with how deeply this affected me. It definitively set back my actual abuse recovery by years because they had me convinced what happened to me was my fault.
This is not protection or activism. This is people using the language of protection and activism to lionize themselves and their puritanical beliefs without ever engaging in the nuance of the conversation, neatly covering their own bad behavior. We see the exact same thing every time a corporation donates a pittance to a charity that they “earned” by exploiting sweatshop practices. We see the exact same thing every time a politician tries to pass a bill using the line “think of the children”. It’s a distraction from what’s really going on, which is a self-serving, cultish desire to be Better Than and praised as such.
So yeah, if you liked my fics? And you noticed I stopped writing them? And that now I’m talking about how antis are problematic?
Yeah. That’s why I stopped. And yet you liked them.
Thank you for reading, and thank you for reading. I hope this sheds some light on things. Otherwise, we all may be eaten by the Grue.
