I want to draw but I think id actually rather kill myself

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I want to draw but I think id actually rather kill myself
That Feeling When...
you realize that your reading list is so long that it has become a short novel itself
You know that feeling...
when you lose a person close to you...like you cared for this person a lot and loved them but like now they're gone from your life and you feel empty...it kinda hurts and you feel like a part of you is missing without them? Yeah I'm feeling that right now and I don't like it.
that feeling when people deny you have ADHD even when you have a professional diagnosis from when you were young
That Feeling
The feeling when you sneeze. It’s almost like a necessity yet a pain. When your airplane takes off for the first time, it’s thrilling yet scary. When you drive in the fog with your cars headlights on, you can’t see what’s ahead but you keep going, bit by bit. That moment when you choose to finally get up and quit sleeping, it’s refreshing yet irritating. That moment when everything in life is falling apart and you decide to figure one piece out at a time. That moment when a child is born, it is a feeling of happiness yet the moment is so emotional. That moment in life when you’re at the top of the ferris wheel, it’s exhilarating yet appalling. That moment when you let go of your senses to enjoy and live a particular moment, it’s nerve racking and vulnerable yet gratifying. We human beings are capable of understanding so much, yet we don’t understand that every feeling in the world has two sides. It is up to us which one we choose to pave our path ahead. We human beings take risks in life, to prove ourselves to others, rather than to rediscover ourselves. Go, experience something. A feeling that truly moves you and rediscover yourself. Find the magic within.
You should do what you can to find some okay-ness in your life.
Maya Matlin
Zoe: Do you... ~like~ him [Winston]?
Rasha: Sure.. I like lots of people.
Zoe: But he's not.. ya knoww. He's not like ~us~ right?
Rasha: You mean how he's.... weird? I-I'm sorry. What are you asking?
Me and my tired brain cells bathing in the sun rays during friday after noon outside when the after school bell rings knowing we can now bedrot freely in the weekend.