#the gender binary

[bitchesgetriches]

Ask the Bitches: "Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?"

Money doesn't care what your gender is. However, there are 6 important ways women NEED different financial advice than men. Here they are...

Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”

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[rjalker]

People keep recreating the gender binary and insisting that they're not defining people by bioessentialism and trust them, transmasculine and transfeminine are totally not about defining you by your body or the gender you were assigned at birth, they're about presentation!!!

Until people who were AMAB identify as transmasculine, or people who were AFAB identify as transfeminine. Then suddenly everyone is flipping tables and screaming.

So, what was that about these terms not being a new gender binary and not being just more bioessentialism for you to force on nonbinary people?

If you're gonna claim these terms are just about how you choose to present yourself when nonbinary people get pissed about being shoved into more binary boxes, then you have to actually fucking believe that. You don't get to get pissed when people use these terms to actually convey their presentation rather than just being another way of saying AMAB or AFAB.

You can be AFAB and transfeminine. You can be AMAB and transmasculine. You can be anything and identify as trans- anything you fucking want. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is a bioessentialist asshole.

Some other options include but are not in any way limited to:

Transqueer

Transfuckyou

Transno

Transvoid

Transnonbinary

Transneutral

Transzero

Transplus

Transmystery

Transfluid

Transxeno

Transother

and anything else you want. Or literally nothing. You do not have to use any of these terms if you don't want to. and anyone who tells you you must pick one is, again, a fucking bigot not to be listened to.

[dat-physics-gal]

Transphobes enforcing the gender binary be like:

[goblinmatriarch]

There are more than two genders except in eurovision hosts, wherein the two gedbers are rainbow and goth.

[cosmicdayglow]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I wrote a fic. It’s a love letter to myself and my gender identity, in a sense. A love letter to anyone who has experienced gender dysphoria, to anyone who has felt pressured to “choose” whether they are a man or woman, to anyone who has had the frightening realization that pretty much everyone will either see you as a man or a woman. A love letter to the autistic community, nonbinary autistics in particular, who struggle to understand why masculinity and femininity even matter, because they don’t really exist. A love letter to anyone who has felt lost, invisible, and helpless in the face of the gender binary, even in trans spaces sometimes. You matter. You exist. You are real and valid and I see you. I hope this fic helps you feel seen.

[not-available-for-comment]

I don’t like the gender binary because every time someone tries to define the specifics of it, I get defined out of being a woman with a quickness. Even when that’s not what they’re going for. Even if the first thing or two they say is true.

I’m a woman not because I’ve managed to capture the essence of womanhood in some clear-cut way but because I say I am. Trans women are women because they say they are. No matter what gender you are, there’s a good chance SOMEONE out there is going to try to define it in a way that purposely or accidentally excludes you. Fuck them. (Don’t.)

Gonna be real happy when this she/theys vs. he/theys meme dies down. The gender binary doesn’t get cuter and less threatening just because you tacked some extra pronouns on it.

[Note that I am a cis woman and terfs can diaf.]

[my-strange-attraction]

Ok, so. My gender.

I have a complicated but also somehow simultaneously very simple relationship with gender and I’m going to explain you a thing so just give me a minute here while I try to be coherent about my thoughts.

(For context, I’m afab)

The thing is, I feel a very strong connection to many feminine things. I like skirts and dresses and even though my hair is shorter than I used to wear it (I used to like really long hair, but it’s shoulder length now, which I really like) it’s still a “feminine” length and cut. I wanted to be a princess when I was little, and my favorite color was pink, and I loved Barbie movies and all those hyper-feminine Disney shows that were on at the time like Hannah Montana and Shake It Up. I love presenting femininely and I have no problem with people using she/ her pronouns for me.

So I can’t be outside the gender binary... can I?

Ok, well here’s the thing. I’m also not the biggest fan of having boobs or keeping up with hygiene in a “feminine” way (i.e. shaving my legs and armpits, washing my face every morning and night, wearing thongs/ lacy underwear, I won’t even go into the subject of tampons) and even though I like playing with makeup it’s not really an everyday thing for me. And I’ve found that certain aspects of “womanhood” are so closely tied to sexualization that I don’t know where the line is.

Which begs the question: Is my disconnect between femininity and womanhood still valid even though it’s mostly caused by my asexuality? And why shouldn’t I embrace being called a woman when it’s easier, when I show all the outward signs of being one, when I only have one complaint and, after all, not every person on the gender binary has to embrace every part of their gender identity?

It feels like a lie for me to call myself anything other than a woman, but it also doesn’t feel like the full truth to call myself a woman, and I’m not exactly sure where that leaves me. I call myself Gender Apathetic because I don’t really care what pronouns people use for me because I seem to have lost all bearings on what even makes a gender. If it’s not your presentation, and if it’s not even necessarily what pronouns you use, what is it? Maybe gender is something you have to define for yourself and less of something that society defines. Of course there are social indicators, but ultimately I think gender is something really personal and it’s up to the individual to decide what it means to them.

This doesn’t really have a conclusion, it’s more just food for thought and maybe the start of a bigger conversation. This is just my experience with gender and gender presentation, and I’d love to hear more thoughts about it. Obviously it’s an important topic to me and it would be interesting to hear what y’all think about it. 

P.s. Sorry for the long post, but at this point if you’re following me you should have already accepted my post length tendencies lol. Love y’all <3<3<3

[panicking-skywalker]

The Gender Binary as a Colonialist Construct

When I was writing my dissertation, I stumbled across a particularly great article written by Ph.D. student in Philosophy, Lucas Ballestin,

Check out my latest piece on gender identity, colonialism and on being nonbinary!